AveryTheExplodey

@savannah_grace2009

Sorry, I’ve been offline more and more lately.

You’re welcome! I’m really glad that you’ve learned and grown so much, and you’ll only continue to get better as you pursue this with the passion you’ve shown!

I would also be honored to appear on your acknowledgements, and I love the paragraph you’ve shared from that.

Don’t…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Thank you so much <3

@rae

Aww, really?!?! But girl, your writing’s AMAZING!!!

Thanks though!!! <3

@theshadow

Hi! I don’t think we’ve met before…

I’m Sara, a chocolate consuming, emotionally unstable, sleep deprived, algebra loving, public school attending sophomore (in highschool)! (I mean technically I’m a sophomore since school’s out for the summer so I’m…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ohhh okay that makes sense. I thought you meant that you had nothing written out XD

I did that too, with bullet points, it works lol

Can you share the plot with me then? It would really help me lol

@ellette-giselle

I love how you introduced Cassian’s character. I mean, man, I liked him from the firs paragraph.

Oops…I was going to quote you but forgot….lol

I would like to know more about the Paynes as well. Like, why are they outcast, what is the race mixing thing, etc. etc. If that gets explained later then you can just leave it and l…

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Well, there has never been a day when I can’t write.

Girl, I wish. I go to public school and so I leave at 7:30 and don’t get back home until almost 5, and that’s without sports and plays and other things! When volleyball starts I won’t get home until like 7:30!!!!

What grade are you in? I honestly assumed you were graduated lol

Most of the tim…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

No, i don’t have anything written out. I mean, I  know what’s going to happen, but I really don’t want to say. However, if you need me to tell you for editing purposes then I will.

Okay…you need to write it out in an organized plot.

I know it’s boring and annoying, but before you write anymore, you really should start writin…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Oooooo So, so good!! I LOVE the name Cassian!! Oh man, this is so good! I can already envision this going so, so good. Oh man, I love it!

Really?? thank you so much! Honestly I get a little mad at my story sometimes because it’s not as good as I wanted it to be XD

Ok, the killing the tree thing was a little strange. Explanation…

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@jonas

I kind of have the opposite problem: my style has shifted to be a very strict 3rd-person limited POV, which means all information has to come out very naturally and it takes me way too long to explain things.

Honestly, me too lol

I think what happened is I overcorrected XD

@ellette-giselle

I was mostly asking about what happens in your story, rather than the details about why you wrote it and the theme.

It’s okay, I’m bad at explaining my stories…I end up confusing EVERYONE..

Do you have everything that happens in your story written out?

Like an outline/plot?

ALSO GIRL HOW DO YOU WRITE 20 CHAPTERS IN A…[Read more]

@jonas sorry, I was going to wait for you to post the next ones….but since @ellette-giselle wants to look at the next one, and there shouldn’t be any more after this for a while, it shouldn’t be too panic inducing…lol

Chapter 2

Found

Cassian’s bare feet flew over the verdant carpet, effortlessly leaping over sticks and stones in his pat…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

why Nico left, where is the baby from the prologue, who are the two different groups here. I know you have hinted at it a little in the prologue, but I’d still like more back story and more info. I tend to be a little more like Tolkine in writing, as in, I have a backstory for everyone, and most of the time, %60 percent of the b…

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@ellette-giselle

I do have one question.

What is the plot of your story (feel free to share spoilers, I don’t mind)?

How long is your novel going to be?

I have one more chapter after this one that is ready for critiques, and then I have to continue working on revisions until it’s ready for more detailed critiques.

@ellette-giselle

Yes, I do!  (I have about 36K words) However, I’m in the middle of a big  revision, so the chapters won’t really make sense. Though I do have the next chapter that I *think* should be done.

Chapter 1

Strong hands grabbed her shoulders, trying to rip her away.

But Sef wouldn’t let go.

Eyes scrunched shut, tears leaking fro…[Read more]

What outer plot is your protagonist/s dealing with?

*casually looks up what an outer plot is* I really need to learn more writing terms!! 😬😬😬

If you were plopped into your project’s universe, would the characters love you or hate you? Why?

I honestly don’t know! They probably wouldn’t even notice me…I tend to think of myself as annoying X…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Yeah, maybe take Puddleglum *clears throat* I mean, that other writing coach, with a grain of salt. Scratch that, maybe a pillar of salt. lol.

🤣

 However, I will say that there is something to be learned from everyone. So, try to see the gold in the sand on what he’s saying. It might be something about dialogue, or description, or…

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@jonas

I have mostly positive things to say actually lol! The way I phrased that did sound a bit scary, sorry!

You’re good…I also tend to overthink a lot and assume the worst in situations 😂

I’m excited to hear your thoughts!

@ellette-giselle

I don’t have time right now to look through all your new stuff, but I will get to it eventually!

@ellette-giselle

Oh I love what you did in the example. Perfect. I get so caught up in making sure the info that is needed is there, that I think I lost a little depth with the story. Whoops. I haven’t ever done Historical fiction before, so I’m a little stressed about keeping things accurate to history. I am surrounded by books on Rome , rom…

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