By Allison Grace
Note: Before you start reading...I just wanted to let you know this is entirely satire. Please know that I highly respect Tolkien and the other authors I reference in this article. I love elves, dwarves, dragons, and castles. I hope this article makes you smile!
Hello there, and welcome to the only place on the internet where you can learn to build an entire fantasy world in the time it takes to brew a cup of coffee.
Most writing sources advise you to spend hours filling out questionnaires about everything from money to types of trees. It’s ridiculous. Why bother wasting all that writing time trying to create a unique storyworld? Your readers definitely won’t appreciate all that effort anyway, so why waste time you could be spending watching cat videos?
Every good fantasy world has three main ingredients:
And because I’m such a generous human being, I will give you a bonus ingredient as well: magic systems.
The Overarching Storyworld
If you get this part right, everything else will fall into place.
Every fantasy reader will tell you the most successful stories take place in a medieval-type time period.
Forget Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Moana. There are always exceptions. If you stick to the good-ol’ ways of worldbuilding, you cannot fail.
Trust me, if it worked for Tolkien, it will work for you.
This ingredient has several subdivisions that are each vital.
First, castles. You absolutely need to have a castle or fortress of some kind. Bonus points if it is impervious except for an overlooked sewage drain.
Gif credit: Giphy
Everyone knows that bad guys’ castles are crumbling and generally creepy. They also have expansive dungeons and torture chambers.
If your hero is lucky enough to be in possession of a castle, it’s probably in ruins too. But not because they are going for a creepy aesthetic. The hero would never let his fortress fall into disrepair, but since he was banished/exiled/usurped, he couldn’t do much about it.
Next, if you have a rebellion, you have to have forests. Rebels and the woods go together like bread and butter. There is no way a rebellion would last very long in a big city. There are just too many people who could find them out. The feared forest is the best place for a brewing uprising.
Be sure your story takes place in summer and your entire world has the same climate. No one wants to read a story that takes place in autumn or in the desert. I mean, a book about a world caught in an eternal winter? Who would want to read that?
Gif credit: Giphy
In worldbuilding, uniqueness kills. Remember that.
Fantastical creatures
You probably want to populate your world with a mix of humans and fantasy races.
Why would you waste time creating your own races when there are already a handful ready-made? Your reader wants to read about the same things they always have. When they stumble across such creatures as hobbits, toothy cows, spren, and frost giants, they are so utterly confused they start to cry.
You don’t want your reader to cry, do you? (Well, maybe you do. You should probably get help if you do.)
If you are perturbed by the thought of your reader in tears over confusing and unique fantasy races, look no further than the list below.
Elves
You definitely need elves.
Your best bet is to copy Tolkien’s elves exactly. They should be relatively secluded and rather mysterious. Definitely be sure they are very tall and not short like Santa’s elves.
They must be higher in the social class than humans and should be engaged in an ancient feud with the dwarves (no one even remembers why anymore). They also enjoy all kinds of beautiful art. When they speak, they use a very formal tone and often come across as slightly snobbish.
And they must live in the forest. No self-respecting elf would live in the city or, horror of horrors, a cave.
Dwarves
Ah, yes. Greed-driven, gold-loving dwarves.
Gif credit: Giphy
Their best habitat is deep within a mountain cavern. All the men have gigantic beards, no matter their age. Women are not heard of. If you include girl dwarves, your reader might have a breakdown.
Like elves, they should be really serious. But unlike elves, they tend towards crude forms of art and talk more casually and use lots of hard sounds like “k” and “r.”
Dragons
Nothing makes a story better than dragons. Think of the most boring book you ever read. Wouldn’t it have improved exponentially if it included flying reptiles?
A Tale of Two Dragons
Pride and Dragons
A Christmas Dragon
Crime and Dragons
But enough about classical literature. Your story needs dragons. Even if you think it doesn’t, it does. It’s okay. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.
Dragons should be either completely evil (and therefore black or red) or friends with your heroes. Chances are, someone knows how to ride the friendly dragons.
They should be nearly extinct and their eggs should be sought after by poachers. Also, breathing fire is a must.
Gif credit: Giphy
They, like dwarves, love to hoard gold. If they collect anything else, like books, they obviously are not a dragon.
Government and Social Classes
The government must be a monarchy (to fit in with the medieval feel). And it must be corrupt. In a fantasy novel, there’s no such thing as a good king. *nods seriously* Unless of course, he is The Chosen One or the True King who was banished from his kingdom.
Gif credit: Giphy
To keep things simple, remember there are only two social classes: nobility and the desperately poor.
Your hero probably came from a destitute family. The cause of their poverty was obviously the overtaxing of the duke who owns their land.
Both classes inevitably hate each other. The main conflict of your novel probably revolves around this (you didn’t know you were going to be getting plotting advice too, did you?).
There might be a slight middle class, but they have no bearing on the story, so you should just ignore them.
Bonus: Magic Systems
The one defining factor of magic is that it makes no sense to the common folk. Your reader is most likely one of those muggles, so they have no need to understand how the magic works. They will just accept it as existing and they’ll be happy with it.
Gif credit: Giphy
Remember, the main point of having magic is to use it to save your hero from danger so they never have to solve any problems on their own.
So there you have it: four failsafe elements for your fantasy novel.
If you incorporate these elements into your novel, it will be a best-seller within hours. What are you waiting for? Get writing!
Many writers have utilized satire to help their readers see issues in a new light. My intention with this piece was to show you common clichés in fantasy worldbuilding and encourage you to think of ways to twist the tropes into something uniquely yours. I love a good medieval fantasy full of rebellions, castles, elves, and dragons. But I think we can all agree those elements can be overused.
So let me know, what fantasy cliché in your novel are you going to try and turn upside-down?
Allison Grace
Allison Grace used to hate writing.
Now she can’t imagine a world without telling stories.
She has written several short stories and completed a novel. Her favorite themes to write about (fiction and nonfiction) are identity, faith, and redemption. She also has a whole stash of unfinished fan fiction no one is allowed to read.
Besides writing, Allison loves to crochet stuffed animals and dolls to give to charities. She is a shameless Star Wars and Marvel nerd and can carry on an entire conversation solely in movie quotes.
She blogs at allisongracewrites.com
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This was hilarious! Just the other day I was thinking about how there are hardly any female dwarves or orcs in stories, and now I want to write about one. Honestly though, I’d be down for reading A Christmas Dragon or Crime and Dragons.
Thank you, Bethany!
I forgot about orcs! XD That is a cool idea!
Hilarious (and helpful) article, Allison! Goodness, what I’d give for a fantasy novel with a book-hoarding dragon… *sigh*
Thank you, L.E. Williams!
That would be so fun…maybe you should write it!
Mercedes Lackey’s 500 Kingdoms series (which contain some adult content – you have been warned) has Bookwyrms, which are book-hoarding dragons that occasionally help Fairy Godmothers by acting as librarians.
Hey! I’m a dragon who collects books. (Well, I collect books, but I’m not a REAL dragon. But they’re my favorite fantasy creature.)
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Haha, this was a lot of fun to read and definitely gave me some new ideas for worldbuilding! The joke’s on you though – Tolkien had some pretty large communities of elves who were cave-dwellers (such as the elves of Nargothrond) or lived in big cities (e. g. Gondolin). 🙂
That was-*sniff*-beautiful. How many fantasy writers have been tricked into believing ingenuity mattered in their story worlds? Now they can be set straight before they’re stuck with increasingly complex cultures and overly developed world maps!
*Cough*
Great article. I thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it.