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- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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@gh24682468999 I’m so glad I could help! Let me know if you have any other questions!
@gracie-j
Oooh, this is a wonderful (or shall I say lovely?) topic! Okay, so I’m a little nervous about my own skills of writing romance, but I felt like I wanted to comment here and ask for some advice. I do understand that romance is a subject many writers shy away from, because half of the time, it isn’t written like it should be. But I believe that, when written positively, it can be a good Christian message. And it’s like you said: romance is supposed to mirror Christ’s undying love for us. I completely agree.
So the novel I’m writing now has a romantic element (I wasn’t planning on it in the early drafts, but then I created Newton and suddenly BOOM, my main character has a love interest). So my question is this…
How do you accurately write ‘hate-to-love’ romance?
Okay, so here’s a little history. Newton (the future love interest of Caira) used to be a soldier for the bad guys, and he tells her this when they first meet. Needless to say, Caira doesn’t like him very much in the beginning, and they both get bad impressions of each other. Newton’s left his old life behind and has now become a scavenger/thief who wants revenge, so when he meets Caira, he agrees to help her find the bad guys because they share a common enemy. So they team up.
Basically, they’re enemies in the beginning, but in the very end, I do want them to have a romance. Does that make sense? Any tips on how to write that realistically and effectively? Thanks! Cheers! Happy writing everybody! 🙂
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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@writerlexi1216 OHMYGOSH GIRL DID YOU JUST SAY HATE-TO-LOVE?!?!?!?!?!? I AM BEYOND HAPPY! I AM OVER THE MOON! EEYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
My apologies. I just…I love–no, I positively adore enemies-to-lovers romances. I mean, that’s almost all that I write, my favorite thing to read. It’s just…it’s perfect. It adds that right amount of conflict, an emotional balance, the drama that makes you hungry for more. Ugh. Thank you for this. Yes. THANK YOU!!!!!!
(If you notice, I almost never write in all-caps with an excessive amount of exclamation marks, so, yeah, I mean it.)
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!
Okay, first off, yes. I can help you.
Secondly, I LOVE the sound of Newton and Caira! I love their dynamics already…I can smell it! (And, yeah, I know that sounds strange, but I’m so excited that I’m gonna start sounding strange… *frowns* If I keep up with all of this excitement, I may have to proofread my post before I submit it…)
Anyway. Let me try to be sane and calm and make some sense for once.
- Don’t be afraid. I know that sounds strange right off the bat, but it’s the best advice you could ever get for writing romance–particularly enemies-to-lovers. Don’t be afraid to make your characters angry with each other, argue all the time, or even try to kill one another. And, yes, I am very much serious here. I know murder attempts probably won’t fit your characters, but it works out exceedingly well. So far, I’ve written at least five murder attempts. (Granted, four were all one person…) Anyway…Newton and Caira have a right to be mad with each other. They don’t like each other, after all, so if they want to argue or be prejudice or jump to conclusions about the other, please let them! Don’t be afraid to add in some anger–it makes their dynamics that much more realistic. Newton can make snarky comments or Caira can try to avoid him. You see what I mean? Speaking of anger…the BEST kiss stems from anger or frustration. Whether Newton is trying to get Caira to shut up, prove something to her, or in one of those kiss-them-to-get-them-out-of-the-way-in-a-dangerous-situation situations, using anger at her or just at the circumstances to inspire action is the best. It doesn’t have to be long or mushy–just quick enough to make an impact.
- Keep their personalities in mind. Never forget who your characters are and why they’re not compatible. The best enemies are too much alike and too different to work together. You know what I mean? They have totally different goals, but they’re basically the same person. My pair, Elliot and Crimson, are so much alike that it’s hard to tell them apart–same way of doing things, same reactions to stuff, same basic personality–but they are on separate sides of a family feud. Because they both react to this feud in the same way, they target each other and butt heads really bad. She defends her family by getting angry with his best friend, so he defends his best friend by getting angry at her/her family. See? You described Newton as being coldhearted and gruff in the beginning, while Caira is shy. So maybe he (accidentally) says something that hurts her, but she’s too shy to let her feelings show. In turn, he gets angry at her for ignoring, avoiding, or blowing him off. Their personalities are different, but their goals are the same–so they team up.
- Don’t fall too fast. Something happens and suddenly these two enemies are falling in love. Personally, I’m ready to ship them…but then they start acting goofy. They’re working together as though they’d never disliked each other. Suddenly everything that kept them apart disappears. It sounds like the right (and the easy) thing to do, but you can’t. Don’t let Newton and Caira fall too fast. They may be falling for each other (which is fantastic), but there is still going to be conflict. Just like in a family, everyone may love each other (for example, my parents love each other, but they still get mad and disagree), but that doesn’t mean they’re just buddy-buddy all the time. Same goes for romantic relationships. Newton and Caira are still going to disagree sometimes or get mad at each other. Maybe Caira doesn’t even trust him all the way. Maybe, just maybe, something from his pasts comes up and she begins to doubt how good of a person he is. If you decide to through the secrets-from-the-past in, be careful and wise. This can make or break your story very easily.
*breathes in deeply* That should be all. Ask any more questions you have on any of my comments! If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know. But, to summarize, my advice would be DON’T BE AFRAID. Add any kind of conflict you can think of, as long as it aligns with their personalities, their goals, and just who they are in general. Speaking of…KEEP THEIR PERSONALITIES IN MIND. Don’t forget who Newton and Caira are as individuals. All conflict and romance should come directly from them–not the situation, what you think should happen, or other characters. Matchmaking isn’t always successful, you know. Lastly, DON’T FALL TOO FAST. Keep that conflict going. Throw in a few twists too.
Everything in your novel, be it romance, mystery, or action, comes directly from your characters. Like real people, they have emotions, thoughts, doubts, and choices they have to make. THEY decide who they love and who they hate. With that said, they also have the right and free will to change their mind about just who they hate. *wink*
@gracie-j
I’M SO HAPPY THAT YOU LIKE MY IDEA! I thought I may have been the only one who loved hate-to-love romances! *high fives *does a happy dance
*… ahem
You’re advice is pure gold! You must have some weird special power, because you can write about my characters flawlessly! I’m really happy about the first point you made, because I can tend to be afraid to let them battle things out and have arguments (trust me, they fight a lot in the beginning). So that reassures me to actually show them in disagreements. (By the way, I adore the idea of having a kiss scene come from frustration. I actually may do that, because that’s totally something Newton would do).
And having them fall for each other too quickly is something that I’m tempted to do but I know that I shouldn’t, because that would easily break the whole romance. It’s hard to write about them being mad at each other knowing that they end up together, but I need to let it unfold slowly. Even their friendship shouldn’t appear out of nowhere. I want to keep conflict through all of it, and even when they do start having a romance, they still don’t see eye-to-eye all the time.
And yeah, going back to your first point about showing them being angry, the reason that Caira is so angry with Newton is that he’s the reason she got into this mess in the first place. Basically, the main villain sends Newton on a mission to find Caira, so Newton pretends to be a newspaper boy. He casually runs into her one morning (Caira is under the impression that he’s just a normal newspaper boy and doesn’t suspect a thing) and he gets information about her. He then tells the main villain where she is, so that basically is why she hates him in the beginning. And slowly but surely, they get to know each other better and understand each other, which turns their bitter feelings turn into a friendship.
*inhales Wow, that was a mouthful (or a wordful?) to write! *sheepish smile But thanks a million for the help! I’ll definitely take your advice into consideration, and you’ve given me some great ideas to work with! (By the way, I’m actually writing the scene where Caira meets Newton, so that’s been quite interesting… :))
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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@writerlexi1216 YAS! HATE-TO-LOVE ROMANCE IS THE GREATEST TROPE GOD GAVE WRITERS! I AM SO GLAD YOU’RE WRITING ONE! *high fives you back* *dances a jig* Your idea is fabulous!
I’m over the moon that my advice fits!!!! Ooh…please do a frustration kiss! I absolutely adore those!!
I know it’s difficult to write the conflict while you’re focused on the romance–trust me. I’m in the middle of a cat-and-mouse romance between two “frenemies” that’s driving me bonkers! It seems all too easy to just let them move on smoothly and transition into this happy, fluffy romance–but if you can keep your mind on who your characters are and why they disliked each other to begin with, new arguments and doubts will arise to bite your romantic intentions. 😉
Ooh, ooh, ooh… I LOVE this! I can see everything unfolding and, yes, your story sounds like so much fun!
You are SO welcome! Thank you for asking me these questions! If you have any more, please ask! I can’t wait to read your story!!!!!
@gracie-j
YES I KNOW! I’M SO HAPPY OTHER PEOPLE LIKE IT TOO! And thank you! *raises coffee mug to toast Ah, the temptation to let them smoothly start having a friendship/romance is killing me, but I need to take things slow and remind myself why they dislike each other to begin with. I do appreciate the encouragement! I’ve been pumped about writing recently, so that gives me motivation to keep going with it. Maybe (just maybe) someday I may post a teensy-weensy section of my writing for critiquing, if I can ever crawl out of my shell. I’d be happy to share it 🙂
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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@writerlexi1216 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE share some!!!! I would love to read it! And when the time comes for beta readers, I’m free! 🙂
I’m super happy to hear that you’re feeling very motivated–hold onto that!
I absolutely love your storyline for Newton and Caira! It sounds like a book I’d want on my bookshelf.
@gracie-j
I totally agree with you about ‘hate-to-love’ romances in stories, they’re awesome. I wish I could fit it in my WIP, but I’m not sure how I’d manage it seeing as how complicated the two characters’ dynamics and abilities are.
Oh well, I suppose. But yes, definitely agree with you!@abigail-m Thanks so much, I appreciate that! 🙂 I’d love to hear more about your characters/story too!
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@abigail-m They are awesome, aren’t they?
About that…I thought the same thing about my current WIP. My characters have known each other since childhood–she’s his younger sister’s best friend. They haven’t seen each other in a while, but when I was first starting out with this story, I knew they would still have that good connection.
However, these “old friends” have had a time! I’ve been able to incorporate some “hate” in their story, which has been so much fun!
Can you tell me about yours? There might be some ways to slip in a bit of hate-to-love–you never know!
@gracie-j @writerlexi1216
Well the WIP is set in an ancient and nomadic forest. The MC is a young (16 yrs) warrior who is used to adversity and living alone, with the exception of bringing wounded animals to the doctor/healer, when she can’t help the animal herself. But even he lives a fair distance away. As the story progresses, I add a few other characters. But for the most part, The MC has hardened her heart against people mainly because of her past and she doesn’t fully trust anyone.
The love interest (you can just call him, Filip. I haven’t decided on any official names yet) comes from an archers’ band in another territory and often travels as a messenger. He isn’t nearly as physically strong as the MC. Not because he’s weak, but because she is stronger and a better swordfighter than just about anyone in the forest. Later on, (after he gets over denying everything to himself about actually having feelings for the MC) he feels that she’d never truly need him.
In short:
She’s strong, fearless, commanding.
He’s loyal, plainspoken, gentle.So anyway, that’s a bit of what the two are like. (I know it sounds kind of confusing, sorry about that). They see eye to eye on so much but are still so different. Sigh… I’d love to turn it into a hate-to-love, but I don’t see how to do that without messing up the WIP’s themes (survival, endurance, etc). Maybe I’m just missing something?
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@abigail-m I’m currently putting together an essay for a reply ( 😉 ), so hold on, will ya?
@gracie-j
Thank you so much! I’d really appreciate that:)
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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@abigail-m My pleasure!
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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@abigail-m Actually, I think your story has a lot of potential for conflict! You may not be able to pull off the initial “hate,” depending on how your characters meet. But, I can see a lot of conflict worming its way in! Let me see…
#1 Your theme. You’re writing a story about survival and endurance, but if you wrote it like “MC and love interest meet and go on a journey and they live happily ever after,” then things would be very boring, right? Well, like I told Lexi, pay attention to your characters’ personalities and where they’re alike and different. They’ll probably disagree, turn against each other, and end up in some seriously heated arguments. The “hate” doesn’t have to be murderous (i.e., where the characters really do hate each other and are enemies in a war or something); it can just be realistic conflict. When two people who are just trying to survive are stuck with each other and have to work together to make it out, nothing can be black and white. I’m not entirely certain what your plot is, but you should be able to work some conflict in.
#2 Their differences. Going along with the above, if your heroine is tougher than your hero, then I don’t see why she wouldn’t be totally annoyed by him. Maybe he won’t do things exactly the way she wants or he isn’t cut out for what they’re going through. My own frenemy characters like each other fine—from a distance—but when you put them (and all of their issues) into the same room, they’re biting each other’s heads off as if they were lifelong enemies. And it’s all because they disagree. One thing you can tie into your story (which will help worldbuilding as well as your characters’ relationship) is something like political differences. Maybe a king or something issued a decree that your hero doesn’t like, but that your heroine agrees with. It could have affected one of them in some way that they don’t reveal until later one, and therefore garners the other character’s sympathy once they know the true story. Catch my drift?
My advice to you, if you really want to have that “hate-to-love” feel, is to just stick with adding in some conflict. Now, the conflict can be serious (as in, life altering) and that could lead to some hateful feelings, but they don’t have to be hateful right off the bat. Smaller conflicts can build up animosity between them and make sparks fly! Once you understand who your characters are and what could divide them, you should be able to work things out.
Let me give you an example… My charries, Keaton and Daisy, have a past. She was his younger sister’s best friend—until his sister died and Keaton moved away. He and Daisy still share a brother/sister bond because of the years that they did spend together, but by the time they finally reunite (eleven years later), a lot has changed. Daisy is now a slave, and Keaton feels guilty that he wasn’t there to help her (which stems from his guilt over his sister’s death, which he believes was his fault). His initial reaction was one of rejection and denial, plus a lot of animosity. But then they talk things out and begin to warm up to each other. Then Keaton gets to close. He wants to know what happened to cause Daisy to be sold into slavery, and she gets scared and quite literally runs. They continue this cat-and-mouse game, disagreeing and arguing every time they’re around each other, until they start to enter into something more than friendship. That’s when Keaton gets so close that Daisy makes a huge mistake, which in turn makes Keaton extremely angry with her. All is resolved in the end, but I’ve had a lot of yelling and crying so far. 😉
You can utilize the same method—the game of cat and mouse. Your heroine and hero can dance around each other, sometimes agreeing and cooperating, the next time arguing and getting extremely angry. Secrets are the best way to do that. If there is a secret in one of their pasts or maybe even a villain controlling one character, then the sudden reveal of that can make anger and hate flare up even when things seemed to be going smoothly. One series I recommend would be Sara Ella’s Unblemished series. In here, the love triangle (which beautifully portrayed, by the way) is constantly turned on its head when one character seems bad, then turns good, but then is misrepresented as bad again, and the other seems good but turns bad and then good again. (Confusing, but so well-executed.) It’s all in the perspective, and outside forces can just as easily influence how your hero and heroine see each other as the internal (like personalities) forces can.
Did any of that make sense? I hope this helps in some way! I love reading enemies-to-lovers romances, but when someone can pull off a romance that’s a little bit of everything, that even better! And the best enemies-to-lovers isn’t the full-blown “I hate you because you killed my family member” kind of enemyship (which should totally be a word); it’s the little things. The ones that make you questions characters’ loyalties and morals, their past and their true motives. You know?
Anyway, ask any questions you have, and I pray that your story will shine in a way that only it can!
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