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RAE: “This might sound really weird, but I have no idea how to write girls. Sure, I can write emotions and stuff, but they usually become copies of each other personality wise, and even weirder, they aren’t copies of me. Estelle, Nae, Narsa and Ilsa are basically the only girls I’ve written who feel unique. Help?”
Allow me to demonstrate my immediate guy reaction @rae : “Uh just write yourself”😛 Sorry beyond that I can’t help you
I ❤️ Debating Theology
I ❤️ Family Heritage
I ❤️ MedievalsI think what @whalekeeper and what @mineralizedwritings has said is really good.
For me a lot of my characters draw inspiration from either A.) Historical figures/real people or B.) other fictional charcers or C.) Specific theoretical archetypes. Often times when I struggle with character personalities I return to the scraps of others which make them up.
As for Male and Female characters I guess I haven’t given it much thought. I prefer not to define either gender, rather usually working off of pieces of people from real life or other media.
If it is my personal experience as a guy you wish for I should probably preface Whaley similar warning though I will add that from my experience most men who act extremely manly are usually either a.) obnoxious or b.) purposefully doing such.
From my personal experience as a dude I would say that I am quite an emotional person, though I generally only reveal this to those extremely close to me. I would also like to remind you all that just because I am a man doesn’t mean I am very physically imposing or strong; if any of you go to the gym you can probably beat me in an arm wrestle (or however else you measure strength). I will also say that from my personal experience I seem to make friends less quickly than at least my sister but it also seems that my qualification and value for friendship is much deeper. It is also my opinion that at least with my friends who are dudes we usually do more play teasing or complaining than when I am hanging out with my friends who are girls.
If you guys have any more questions I am happy and willing to try to answer them.
I would also personally recommend trying not to over obsess with your character’s gender.
Through darkness,
light shines brightestI so agree with everything you said there.
I will also say that from my personal experience I seem to make friends less quickly than at least my sister but it also seems that my qualification and value for friendship is much deeper.
It could be a personality type difference too. I’m just like that too. I haven’t had a in person friend (Besides my sister) since the 8th grade because I’m super picky (And bc I’m the weird kid lol). I guess I have high standards for friends and the way they treat me, but I’ll do just the same if not more for them. I thought it was weird and different at first until I learned I was INFJ and autistic, and that’s probably where it comes from in me.
@anyone else too
I tend to sometimes write guys who can be more emotional (Though y’know around close friends) and sometimes I write girls who are more tough and independent. Although I know some people out there might not like it, or think it goes against what men or women are, but I think the key is balance. Not all of my characters are one way or the other, because people are different. And all of my characters have emotions, because (I think?) all people do.
I don’t really mention it much because sometimes I meet people who are completely against things outside of the traditional rules, but I think sometimes it’s because they’ve seen it taken too far. I’ve seen movies with female warriors with unbelievable amounts of plot armor just because the company was trying to ‘prove a point’ that women can be strong. That’s not what I’m trying to do, but sometimes I think people might take it that way.
It’s like overcorrection, y’know? Some people think about sexism in the 1900’s and decide their female mc needs to be stronger than all the men (Even the ones with more training then her). I heard that this happened a lot in the Rings of Power show (Which I haven’t seen. I watched a video essay on it). And then other people see that, and try to do the opposite to compensate for the new mistakes.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Lol. Probably is more of a personality thing. I am INFP.
Yea, I feel like the over correction thing is a big issue in modern media. I personally didn’t really realize it in rings of power but more because I feel like the female MC of that show just has the general level of plot armorieness of fantasy warrior characters who aren’t written very well.
Through darkness,
light shines brightest@everybody
oooh I might go back to this forum sometimes!
Personally, I’m weird:
my best friends are my brother, my cousins, and a few fellow writers (at least one of which knows three ways to kill somebody with a fork), and the only male out of all those for the longest time was my bro before a guy joined my in-person teen writer group (and I still don’t know him all that well, although his writing’s funny). But I’m very close with my brother and my dad, and thus my guy characters often pull attributes from them.
and then there’s the fact that like @mineralizedwritings I’m autistic, and my mental differences make me simultaneously over-emotional and emotionally distant (I can get exceptionally upset when someone yells at me, but I can go through a whole funeral honestly questioning why everyone’s making a big deal crying over the person who is dead and thus doesn’t care. That particular example is harsh, but it’s sadly true.) And thus my girl characters often end up like me in that regard. Works for writing tough girls like Huntress and (to an extent, and only sometimes) Feather, but not so much when I want to have a character that’s a bit more….proper, if that’s the right word for it?
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
As a professional human male, I would be happy to offer some of my thoughts. What I think should be realized is that when it comes to gender, not every man is the same, and not every woman is the same. Men and women will have general differences, but a man can still be masculine while still showing off what might be considered feminine tendencies, like how open he is with his emotions.
For example:As a girl, I would be sobbing my heart out, looking for someone to talk to, hold me, comfort me, and just sympathies. now, I know this is not how guys react.
A man can totally be like this. Now, a man acting this way can still look very different from a woman acting this way. An analogy I really like is that it’s two instruments playing the same note. A man would likely feel resentful and angry, but also be desiring help to save them from despair. I think a good case example would be Simon from The Chosen season 3. Spoiler warning kinda. He is really angry, feeling betrayed and devastated, but he didn’t want to talk about it with anyone, which only made him more resentful. There’s a few moments when he simply cries to himself, or broods. In the end though, after letting out his anger at Jesus, he breaks down crying “don’t let me go Lord” over and over.
Now was Simon sobbing his heart out, looking for someone to talk to, hold him, comfort him, and just sympathies? He wasn’t seeking for those things, but those were the things he ultimately needed and deep down wanted, and what ultimately came about. So are men all just more internal then? Well hold on. I would say that’s a reasonable examination, and is generally true, but let’s take a feminine case, Simon’s wife, Eden. She acting in a very similar way actually. She stayed quiet and portended nothing was wrong, but that only made her more resentful. Eventually she lashed out at Simon, both in anger and grief, breaking down in tears.
So not all women will express their emotions plainly, and seek refuge from others, even when that’s what they need. Everyone handles grief a little differently, and while gender is a factor, it does not determine behavior. The thing is though when we look at Simon and Eden, we see gender play heavily in how these behaviors come out, distinctly coming out as masculine and feminine interpretations respectively.
In the case of Aaron, it seems that he’s well experienced with grief. He likely will have grown emotional callouses through all of that. If he is still actively seeking God in all of that though, yet has not yet felt any closeness to God, then that would suggest that despite his wounds, he’s an idealist who stubbornly holds on to hope. So when we come to the point he breaks, he would likely be resentful and angry towards God, or resentful and angry at life, if at the point of breaking he loses all faith. I would picture a Simon type moment, where he exclaims in a big outburst of all that he’s gone through and done, and yet God has done nothing but spat on him.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
This is great! You gave me a good picture here! That scene with Simon on the water and Eden in the water were my absolute favorite!! OH MY GOODNESS! They were amazing! With all the help I have gotten here and on my WIP I must say that if Aaron does not turn out there perfect character it’s because can’t write. lol.
Thank you again so much!
(I know all guys and girls were different, I was just kinda generalizing. Basically, I hear a lot of guff from my brothers and dad when there a girly-guy scenes in books and movies, and I didn’t want to commit the teenage-girl guy character crime. haha)
we see gender play heavily in how these behaviors come out, distinctly coming out as masculine and feminine interpretations respectively.
See, that was what I was looking for. How to show the same emotions that a guy and girl are going through without them losing all personality and becoming cliche grief models.
Thank you again for the help!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
@ellette-giselle @thearcaneaxiom ooh I remember that scene, that was a really good show.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
that was by FAR my favorite episode!! SOOOOOO good!!! like, gave me chills kind of good!!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
@ellette-giselle yeah it’s been a while since I watched the show, but I remember that scene/episode quite clearly. It was really well done.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
@otheroworldlyhistorian
Lol. Probably is more of a personality thing. I am INFP.
Cool!
Yea, I feel like the over correction thing is a big issue in modern media. I personally didn’t really realize it in rings of power but more because I feel like the female MC of that show just has the general level of plot armorieness of fantasy warrior characters who aren’t written very well.
That makes sense. I think the mention was that young Galadriel was stronger than the other Elves, and theoretically they are all very old and should be good warriors. But I haven’t seen the show lol : P
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Messed up your tag ^^
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Messed up your tag ^^
No problems there. Thanks for fixing it though.
Through darkness,
light shines brightest(I know all guys and girls were different, I was just kinda generalizing. Basically, I hear a lot of guff from my brothers and dad when there a girly-guy scenes in books and movies, and I didn’t want to commit the teenage-girl guy character crime. haha)
I get that. I actually don’t share my writing with my family, because I know if I do their opinions will affect how I write. I don’t think you should have to worry about committing ‘character crimes’ if you’re within your own morals for writing. If I showed my family my writing, I’d be doing something completely different than I am right now.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
But it’s not my “morals for writing” it’s the fact that I created a badly done character and the males in my life were able to point that out! And even then, it’s not so much my writing they talk about as much as hearing them talk about other badly done males from movies and books. I value their opinion just as much, or perhaps even more, then y’all’s. I started getting serious about publishing when I was 13. Looking back at those rough drafts there’s a lot to cringe about, but the worst thing is the fact that my guys are girls with short hair. lol. It was only because my dad was willing to point that out that I have improved. I’m glad I never got that early stuff published, because do you know what one of the biggest praises for my debut, Fateful Night, was? My guys! I heard from so many people how masculine, real, strong and yet tender they were! I heard so, so, so much about the guy characters and the male interaction, and it was all because dad and my brothers were willing to help me.
Also, if I felt like I had to hide my writing for moral reasons then I would know there was a problem. Unless my folks weren’t Christians and I was, or something like all that, I don’t think our moral views should collide. There has never been a moral reason that I didn’t show them my writing. Now, I normally don’t show them drafts because I want them to read the completed product and get the full effect. However, there was one book that I let my brothers read the draft of because I wanted to see what they even thought of the idea. It was the first time I had ever stepped out of the medieval realm in writing and I wanted top see if I did it well. They gave some great feedback, my dad cleaned up my gunfights and combat training, (He’s the head firearms instructor, SWAT leader, and a Detective! he knows a lot about all that. lol) Then I took it back and did some rewrites here and there. I set it down and didn’t pick it up until four years later which was last month. I completely re-wrote it, using their notes as a guide in some places, as well as my own gained knowledge. The boys caught me, and after that they would camp out at the printer to be the first to catch each new chapter as I printed it. They loved it! lol.
Honestly, it is only because my family that my writing went anywhere. I HATED writing with a PASSION when I was young. Give me ANYTHING but a pen and paper. I know this is crazy, but it’s true. I did, however, tell stories verbally, and had whole book series memorized. My mom encouraged me to record them so that she could write them down for me. We spent hours doing it. Then I finally decided one day that I was going to try. I wrote my first story with a pencil and dollar store notebook. Mom read it. Praised it. Gave some story structure pointers about how a few scenes didn’t make sense, and told me to writer her another. That’s how I started writing. It was because of my family.
Well, there we go. Sorry about all the ramble. I guess I really get on the defensive about my fam. lol.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
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