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Oh yippy!!!!
I was sitting here thinking “He forgot all about it. He’s gonna ask for the end of November.” Lol.
I’m really looking forward to your answers!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Nope. I’ve already typed up 1,367 words for you. I’ve been slowly chipping away at this when I’ve had the chance.
Wait! Really!
Oh wow! That’s amazing!!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
All right, Ellette, here you go. Getting close to 3,000 words of feedback for you here. Please let me know if anything doesn’t make sense or if the link is not working for you. I haven’t proofread this too carefully, so there may be some questionable grammar mistakes.
Oh boy! Starting it right now!!!! Can’t wait!!!
I haven’t proofread this too carefully, so there may be some questionable grammar mistakes
*sigh* There always is my Canadian friend.
LOLOLOLOL!
(Actually, I enjoy your non American grammar. lol)
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
OH. MY. GOODNESS.
This was like a treasure!!!! Oh this is so, so good! I can already see some scenes where I can add all of this stuff in/strengthen it.
Ardentan’s betraying the church……………. Someone’s quick on the draw………… tho I may have intended to save that one……….
I do get your point about being mistrustful. I’ll try to work that in more.
As for writing playful/funny sides of characters. That tends to go like this…………
Sooooo…… Yeah. i just gotta step out on a limb (and observe my brothers’ interactions. They are pretty funny. I have taken some notes. I should do more of that.)
Anyhow…….. more funny scenes. Got it.
Okay, here is a really, really important question. You seem to know my characters very, very well. (maybe even better then I do. lol. Or at least, you can describe them better then I can)
Anyhow, Two questions actully.
1, so you asked about who Darrien was. Darrien was the son of an Ardentan nobleman. He was cheated out of his inheritance by his uncle and thrown out on the streets to survive. Can you think of any specific things right off the top of your head, from that information, that would help set him apart from Noah. In my mind, he is extremely different. I mean, he was a nobleman’s kid and Noah’s a gambler and street brawler. However, it doesn’t seem like the “set apart” aspect came across. Are there things that would have really shown that to you as the reader?
And finally, the other question; What are you wanting to see in book 2? Of the four, book 2 is my least favorite because I felt like it was really hard to set it apart from the later half of Aaron’s story. Sure, Joseph and Aaron turned out to be different characters, but the setting seemed the same, and maybe a little boring. (After the beginning which is just all dark and violent and action and stress, because you’re seeing it from little Joseph’s eyes.) So, yeah. Once Joseph grows up, things were a little bit harder. So, what are you, as the reader, looking for in this next book? What do you want to see? What are you hoping will happen to our main cast? etc. etc.
Does this make any sense?
Aaannnyyyyhow.
Thank you so, so, so much for this!!!! I am pasting this into a doc and keeping it open while I edit. It was soooooo helpful! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really appreciate the time you put into this and how seriously you took it. THANK YOU! (can’t say it enough)
I hope I can be half the help to you on your WIP that you were to me.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
This was like a treasure!!!! Oh this is so, so good! I can already see some scenes where I can add all of this stuff in/strengthen it.
I’m glad to hear you are finding it helpful!
Ardentan’s betraying the church……………. Someone’s quick on the draw………… tho I may have intended to save that one……….
It’s called being an author, as we all know. Well, it doesn’t have to happen in the first book. Or it could even happen in the first book, but not be revealed until the second. It’s up to you!
1, so you asked about who Darrien was. Darrien was the son of an Ardentan nobleman. He was cheated out of his inheritance by his uncle and thrown out on the streets to survive. Can you think of any specific things right off the top of your head, from that information, that would help set him apart from Noah. In my mind, he is extremely different. I mean, he was a nobleman’s kid and Noah’s a gambler and street brawler. However, it doesn’t seem like the “set apart” aspect came across. Are there things that would have really shown that to you as the reader?
So that’s Darrian’s backstory. I don’t recall anything about this in the story. I think if I knew this, and the impacts it had on Darrian’s character, it would help a lot to distinguish him from Noah. You don’t have to have him tell Aaron his whole backstory but hint at it at least. (Unless I’m just blind and missed them all.)
The first thing my mind goes to is speech. I would have to check again since I was not paying attention to this, but I don’t really recall the way they talked being that different. I would expect Noah to use street slang. Darrian may use more formal speech reflecting a higher education depending on how old he was when thrown out.
From their backgrounds, I would guess that what makes Noah, being raised in the streets, may be a convincing talker. He may have used this to manipulate people in the past but now he can use this to tell people about Christ and remind them of His goodness. However, he may not take as much time to study the Bible or go very deep into it. (Not that God can’t turn a simple person into a deep theologian, I mean, look at the apostles. They were fishermen.) Darrian may have some lingering nobleman pride and not be able to relate to other people as much, having seen himself above others for much of his life and being kept away from them. However, he may have a higher education and may benefit from that as he studies the Bible. I suppose we have already sort of seen this, where Noah is the one who comforts Aaron and entertains the children with his tricks. This may make him deeper, but more boring/harsher compared to Noah. The two may help balance each other out.
I was going to say, Darrian, haveing been betrayed by a close relative, may have stronger mistrust. But then I realized Noah also has strong grounds for mistrust, having grown up in a world of lies and deception. But how does Noah’s mistrust differ from Darrian? Noah himself became a liar, but as far as I know, Darrian stayed away from lying, how does this impact them diffrently?
Another thing that I think would help is if Aaron had a glance at both men before they became Christians. From the way you introduced them together, I thought they were already close friends.
And finally, the other question; What are you wanting to see in book 2? Of the four, book 2 is my least favorite because I felt like it was really hard to set it apart from the later half of Aaron’s story. Sure, Joseph and Aaron turned out to be different characters, but the setting seemed the same, and maybe a little boring. (After the beginning which is just all dark and violent and action and stress, because you’re seeing it from little Joseph’s eyes.) So, yeah. Once Joseph grows up, things were a little bit harder. So, what are you, as the reader, looking for in this next book? What do you want to see? What are you hoping will happen to our main cast? etc. etc.
Hmm… Let me guess, this is the book that you feel like you should write in order to fill in the gap, but don’t really know what to put into it. (I think we all get this feeling sometimes.) This is kind of a hard question to answer as I don’t entirely know what your overarching goal is. I need to know some things like, why do you feel the need to write more books in this series? Are you continuing with your theme of trust, or moving on to something else? If trust, is there a different aspect of it that you want to focus on? (Example: Book 1 is trust in God even when trials come, Book 2 is trust God over man (if you have a theme where the characters (especially Joseph) are tempted to give up their faith/feel lost because Aaron is gone.) Or is it all going to be focused on trusting God through trails? All I know is that Joseph is going to get through whatever is thrown his was and be willing to risk his own life for Christ at the end.
Thank you so, so, so much for this!!!! I am pasting this into a doc and keeping it open while I edit. It was soooooo helpful! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really appreciate the time you put into this and how seriously you took it. THANK YOU! (can’t say it enough)
You’re welcome! Thank you for taking the time to read it all and consider it!
I hope I can be half the help to you on your WIP that you were to me.
Thank you! But don’t put too much pressure on yourself either. I did this because I wanted to give more thought-out feedback, not to get just as much back from you. But I do appreciate it that you are willing to help out with my book!
So that’s Darrian’s backstory. I don’t recall anything about this in the story.
Yeah, it was in there, about a paragraph, same time you got Noah’s backstory.
Ahhhh, never thought about pulling in the nobleman “Separation” He was thrown out when he was sixteen. So….. four years ago.
I’m really liking this. This is perfect.
Hmm… Let me guess, this is the book that you feel like you should write in order to fill in the gap, but don’t really know what to put into it. (I think we all get this feeling sometimes.)
No. Actully. Surprising, you’re wrong on that (tho I have done that for SO MANY series which is why they all fell apart except this one)
Let There Be Light was a stand alone book. However, I make it a point to know the full lives of my characters all the way, so I knew Joseph’s story.
One year later, Joseph’s story is driving me insane so I write it down to get it out of my head. My friend found the manuscript and said “You wrote more about the characters in Let There Be Light, my favorite of all your books, and you didn’t tell me!?”
And then the word was out and more people started reading it.
Lots of people loved it and said that it was just what Let There Be Light needed.
Two years later, I know the story isn’t done, so I write the finally book which turns out to be 1,200 pages so I split it in half and turned the whole thing into a saga.
So, yeah. It was never supposed to go beyond Let There Be Light but (and I know this sounds kinda crazy, but it’s true) I think God was really telling me that there was more that He wanted to do with these books.
Let There Be Light and the 3rd and 4th book have gone through a few drafts. The 2nd book has been left untouched because it just wasn’t my favorite, though I do really enjoy it, and it really does need to be there. But, it’s kinda the roughest of all of them, so I thought that while I had the chance I wanted make sure to add in anything readers might want/need in that gap.
Which is why I asked you, solely from a reader’s view, what (if anything) are you looking forward to seeing in the next book? So yeah, I just wanted to know as a reader what are you looking for when you start reading this book, or are you indifferent? Is there anything you would be sad about there not being in there? Or anything that it needs?
So yeah, all in all, I know the reason why I want the book there, and the purpose, and It’s been several people’s favorite. I just personally love Aaron to death, (quiet literally. whoops lolol) and I love the country the 3rd and 4th book take place in, and also love the main characters a lot in that one. And yes, I do love Joseph, very much, but not as much as the others. He’s a little too serious and too solemn for me, but it makes total sense after what he went through (not to mention he’s an Ardentan). So, that’s just why that one is my least favorite, and it tends to be easy to tip into a second Let There Be Light because I want Aaron to not be dead and I miss him.
You are probably sitting there going “woah” and wondering just how insane I am. XD
All I know is that Joseph is going to get through whatever is thrown his way and be willing to risk his own life for Christ at the end.
Is that what you think…….?
Hmmmmm
No comment.
Also, the last question goes for you. Is there anything you are looking forward to/wanting to see in the next book?
Also, to both you and Linus, I plan on starting the next book on her November 1st unless someone has objections. (mainly looking at the collage kid in the group)
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Yeah, it was in there, about a paragraph, same time you got Noah’s backstory.
Missed that. Oops.
Is that what you think…….?
Hmmmmm
No comment.
Which technically is a comment. This is just what appeared to be in your epilogue.
Okay. Book 2. Here we go.
No you’re not crazy. Honestly, I will be asking a similar question the the readers of my series. I know what happens right after book 1 and have a good idea of where Alan, Martha, and Eric will be in the end, but for other characters and the events of the second half of book 2 and most of book three, my vision of it is quite foggy. So I am going to want to bounce some ideas off of other readers. (Warning: you may want to prepare for a lore dump when The Cost Draft 2 is done.) I’m just realizing this question is not very easy to answer from the other side.
Okay, here are some questions that I hope will be answered in the next book.
How is the church learning to cope without Aaron?
Often, when you remove a leader in a cult it falls apart. How does the empire react to the church continuing without Aaron or even some of their own joining it?
We know a lot of the consequences, but are there any unexpected benefits/blessings to now being part of the Empire?
How do the characters struggle with temptations to anger/desires for revenge?
Now if you want to think of how to make Joseph different from Aaron. (I’m assuming what you currently have is Joseph questioning weather he can trust God or not, like Aaron did.)
Joseph has lost two father figures. He is learning that he can only trust in God to be there for him. But what if, instead of taking too much time to learn this, he instead learns the wrong lesson at first, and becomes hesitant to grow too close to other people? This could be a selfish attitude, where Joseph refuses to grow close to anyone because he knows that it could be God’s will to take them away as well and he doesn’t want to lose another father figure. So he develops what he thinks is a close relationship with God while shutting others out. He could maybe even justify this by he doesn’t want to open up to others because he doesn’t want to put the burden of his grief on them. In fact, he may ironically even think he is being selfless keeping all his problems to himself. I imagine this creating conflict. between him and Noah (who seems to be the one who steps in as a father figure to Joseph). Noah may try to comfort Joseph, who only turns him away and pretends to be doing better than he is. Joseph would have to learn that God wants us believers to build up and encourage each other, not to close ourselves off. (But just make sure you don’t take this too far. There are plenty of Bible verses that talk about how we are to love one another in the new Testimante to the point where if that love is absent, it is indicative something is very wrong (see 1 John 4:20-21).)
I hope this gives you some ideas!
November 1st would be fine. Just don’t be surprised if it sometimes takes me a couple of days to read the sections you post. I might just drop them into a document on my phone so I can read them while taking the LRT to school.
Warning: you may want to prepare for a lore dump when The Cost Draft 2 is done.) I’m just realizing this question is not very easy to answer from the other side.
Oh dear. lol. I shall be prepared.
wonderful! These are the questions answered (I think?) but it’s nice to have them written out and to also know that my reader is on the same page as I am.
Interesting idea for Joseph. I may play around with it. However…. (carefully approaching this so as not to spoil anything…..) Joseph’s struggle isn’t doubting God as much as doubt himself. (NO! this is not a believe in your self story. *gag*) His greatest fear is that if it comes down to it, he will not be physically and spiritually strong enough to do what Aaron did and give his life for Christ. In his memories, Aaron is perfect and fearless, and he himself knows he is anything but. Sooo, Joseph is sliding into the trap that he is the one who has to be strong enough, rather then realizing it was God who gave the strength.
So, yeah. A little different.
I will keep your suggestion in mind tho. Thanks!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 1st would be fine. Just don’t be surprised if it sometimes takes me a couple of days to read the sections you post. I might just drop them into a document on my phone so I can read them while taking the LRT to school.
No prob. Take the time you need.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Interesting idea for Joseph. I may play around with it. However…. (carefully approaching this so as not to spoil anything…..) Joseph’s struggle isn’t doubting God as much as doubt himself. (NO! this is not a believe in your self story. *gag*) His greatest fear is that if it comes down to it, he will not be physically and spiritually strong enough to do what Aaron did and give his life for Christ. In his memories, Aaron is perfect and fearless, and he himself knows he is anything but. Sooo, Joseph is sliding into the trap that he is the one who has to be strong enough, rather then realizing it was God who gave the strength.
Okay. That could work as well.
No prob. Take the time you need.
Thanks!
@ellette-giselle nothing in particular, no, but I do want to see how the Ardentan church continues in Aaron’s absence. I’m glad you decided to continue the story after the first one!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
Well then, keep an eye out on November 1st for the next part of the saga!
I’m so glad that you’re glad I’m continuing!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
@ellette-giselle ooooh I’ll be waiting!!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
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