Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Idea Critiques › WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy
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September 26, 2024 at 2:26 pm #186361
But, Sabina is in no place to be reading at the moment. So, this letter actually wouldn’t show up until the second book when Sabina gets a POV in the very beginning. Do you think it would be better to shift it to book two. It would be Aaron’s last letter, and it would be unread. So, the reader would know he wrote it, but never know what it says until Sabina reads it.
However, if it needs to be in this book then it’ll have to be where i put it.
Valid point. Leave it where it is then.
It’s actually a Saga now because the last book hit 1200 pages and I realized that no one would want to read such a long book, so I split the last one into two parts. However, it happens to be a book shared by two different characters, so I think it’s okay that it got split into two parts.
Wow. You make Sanderson’s books look short. (I think the Stormlight Archives are 800 pages each. And those are massive!) If you do have a book that has two POV characters in it, I think that would be fine as well.
So this is an interesting little piece of narrative, because book two actually picks up the night Aaron died, though it hits the seven year mark about a quarter or less of the way in.
Okay. (I’m kinda glad to hear this, because I was feeling like book two in some ways would be a repeat of book 1) So why include this Epilogue in book one then?
And, warning, it’s dark.
I’m an author. I can handle it. Wait till you see what I got in store for my series! (I have a feeling what you are writing will be darker.)
Would you be interested in seeing the cover for Let There Be Light?
Sure thing.
Also, would you be willing/interested to help me with the rest or the Saga, or are you fed up with it. lol. (Or too busy. That’s a valid one too. haha)
Nope, not fed up with it. I think I can still squeeze it in as well. (Just know that if I’m taking too long to write TNPT chapters, you are partially to blame. Hee hee!)
September 26, 2024 at 2:40 pm #186363Wow. You make Sanderson’s books look short.
*Bows* thank you!
So why include this Epilogue in book one then?
Um, because I like it. Is it bad? I can cut it. I just felt like it was a nicer ending the Sabina crying, plus I have a seven year jump ending in the next one, and a several year jump in the last one.
(I have a feeling what you are writing will be darker.)
I can promise you it is. The last book is DAAAARRRRKKK. But not without a good reason.
(Just know that if I’m taking too long to write TNPT chapters, you are partially to blame. Hee hee!
*Gasp* How dare you!
Well, at least that means it’s interesting enough that you are reading it instead of doing what you are supposed to be doing!
Yippy!!! So glad you want to keep going! Hopefully Keilah will too!
K, here is the cover.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
September 26, 2024 at 2:43 pm #186364btw, it won’t let me share it. It’s a PDF and I can’t get it on here.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
September 26, 2024 at 2:43 pm #186365@ellette-giselle UM YEAH I wanna keep reading!!! Especially after all that!!!
also love the cover.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
September 26, 2024 at 3:00 pm #186366Um, because I like it. Is it bad? I can cut it. I just felt like it was a nicer ending the Sabina crying, plus I have a seven year jump ending in the next one, and a several year jump in the last one.
Well, it just gives away some of what will happen to the characters. That’s all.
As for the cover, I’m not sure what you are using to make it and how much you can control things in it, but if you can, remove the shadow from around the sword. It makes the scene behind it look flat.
I’m not a fan of the series title on the top. I feel like the entire cover improves if I hold my hand to cover this. I think it is a combination of the font, the line, and the position. How to improve it? Change the font to a Serif font (Not New Times Roman. Garamond or something similar might work.) Don’t Italicize it. The underline should only extend as far as the text (or maybe just a little bit farther). Move it under the title. Finding a colour other than Black would help as well.
The choice of a path is good. I don’t know why. All I know is that before you revealed this, I figured it would have a path on it. I just imagined Aaron walking down it instead of a sword. But the sword is fine as well. The yellow might be a little too intense. The photo is grainy compared to the sword, so I might look for another one if possible.
What sort of book would I expect from this? Battles, but ones with hope. Something about moving forward. This does look Christian. (I pulled my sister in here who does not know much about this, and she says a book about the Christian life and fighting through it.)
Here is a book cover I think you could draw some inspiration from in regard to the layout of the text:
September 26, 2024 at 3:01 pm #186367Can you create a link to share it?
September 26, 2024 at 3:12 pm #186369I love how that soldier–Adrian, I think?–wants to learn more about Aaron’s beliefs after he saw how brave he was before dying.
The fact that you have a story where the main character dies and the POV switches is nice for me too, because I have a story idea where something like that happens and now I have an idea of what to do.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
September 26, 2024 at 4:39 pm #186382Well, it just gives away some of what will happen to the characters. That’s all.
Is that a bad thing? Do you feel like it spoils too much? What can you tell me is definitely going to happen from that scene. (Just so I can gage how much it actually does give away)
As for the cover, I’m not sure what you are using to make it and how much you can control things in it, but if you can, remove the shadow from around the sword. It makes the scene behind it look flat.
ugh, that line drives me nuts too!! I was hoping it was only me who could see it. I can’t fix it from what I can tell. I’ll keep trying tho.
The choice of a path is good. I don’t know why. All I know is that before you revealed this, I figured it would have a path on it. I just imagined Aaron walking down it instead of a sword. But the sword is fine as well.
see, that was my original plan, but I was unable to draw it correctly or digitally design it right. That’s why I added the sword and dropped the idea of people on the covers at all. You know what, tomorrow morning or this evening I might send you the covers for all four books so you can see the stile I went for. If you’re okay with that. Then I can get your thoughts.
The yellow might be a little too intense. The photo is grainy compared to the sword, so I might look for another one if possible.
oh, I did that. I can tone it down a little more. I just kinda liked the brightness of it.
What sort of book would I expect from this? Battles, but ones with hope. Something about moving forward. This does look Christian. (I pulled my sister in here who does not know much about this, and she says a book about the Christian life and fighting through it.)
Well that’s hopeful!
wait, “doesn’t know much”? Is she on KP? How does she know about it at all? (I’m just being overly curious)okay, interesting. I’m looking at the picture you sent. Do you think I should drop the title to the bottom and put my name at the top?
Can you create a link to share it?
I hope your tech savvy, because I’m about to mail you with a list of questions.
how do I do that?
do I share the PDF or the Original doc?
how do I lock it down if I share the link so that no one could steal it?
honestly, I’m kinda uncomfortable about this because once I put it up here it’s on the internet forever. You know?
yeah…. The more I think about it the more I don’t like it.
I might be paranoid, but this is my baby. Lol.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
September 26, 2024 at 4:44 pm #186383yay!! I’m glad you want to read more!!
question: what do you think of the Seven year jump forward ending?were you sad Aaron died?
I love how that soldier–Adrian, I think?–wants to learn more about Aaron’s beliefs after he saw how brave he was before dying.
yes!! That was one of my favorite parts. Aaron’s last prayer was that God would open someone’s heart because of his death.
Adrain is one of my favorites.The fact that you have a story where the main character dies and the POV switches is nice for me too, because I have a story idea where something like that happens and now I have an idea of what to do.
well I’m glad you got some inspiration!!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
September 27, 2024 at 10:07 am #186386Okay, scrap what I said about the covers. I 100% got off of KP and went hunting for someone to design the covers for me. I have a friend who does digital art and cover designs, and I called her up yesterday. She said she’d do it. Sooooo, you can forget about that other cover. We are getting the real one! I am doing the cover with Aaron on it! So, thanks for suggesting it because it kinda confirmed that a cover like that was the only right one.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
September 27, 2024 at 10:23 am #186388Okay, here are the questions I had.
Where the characters believable?
Did they have good, individual personalities, or were they clones?
What would you say was the message of the story?
What would you say my world view was?
Was there anything that seemed unbelievable or forced?
Is there anything that you would say needs to be changed?
Was the plot solid?
Is this the sort of book that you would buy from a store or pick up from the library, or are you only reading it because I’m a fellow KPer?
Don’t worry about hurting my feelings. These are all questions that I want real answers to.
Thank you both so much for everything!!
Oh, question: When would be a good time for me to start the next book on here? Maybe next week, or do you both want a longer gap?
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
September 27, 2024 at 10:26 am #186389I’m guessing I would start the next book in a new WIP, right?
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
September 27, 2024 at 12:31 pm #186397Woah. Lotsa questions. (I completely understand though. Your gonna get lotsa questions whin I finish my current draft of The Cost)
Is that a bad thing? Do you feel like it spoils too much? What can you tell me is definitely going to happen from that scene. (Just so I can gage how much it actually does give away)
Darrien is going to be captured. Noah, Joseph, and Sabina will survive. Joseph will be called to follow in Aaron’s footsteps (so that is a clue as to where his character will go in the next books). Noah also seems to have become Joseph’s father figure.
wait, “doesn’t know much”? Is she on KP? How does she know about it at all? (I’m just being overly curious)
Not yet, but since she is an author as well, I’ve told her about this site and some of the things I’m doing on it. Your book is in some ways similar to yours (not fantasy, but set in a fictional world and they talk about the Bible as it is in our world). I also pulled her in because I thought it would be a good idea to get someone’s opinion on your cover who did not know the story. She may eventually join KP.
okay, interesting. I’m looking at the picture you sent. Do you think I should drop the title to the bottom and put my name at the top?
Up to you. I’ve seen both done. It’s kind of a question of what you want to draw more people’s attention to. My personal preference is a title on the top. I just sent that one cover to you to get some ideas. Do some exploring. Find similar books or books with covers you like and pay attention to the layouts, fonts, design, and colours. Think about how those make you feel. Try to take note of what you notice first. This may give you a better idea of how to design a cover that will work for your series.
how do I do that? [Regarding sharing documents]
Firstly, do you have a Google or Microsoft account? I can give you a better tutorial if I know weather or not you have access to one of these.
honestly, I’m kinda uncomfortable about this because once I put it up here it’s on the internet forever. You know?
You can often delete links once you create them. Once I’m done receiving feedback for my project, I’m going to remove the link so no one can use it And, you have already posted your whole story up to the internet already here on KP. (That’s actually why I use a shared link document in the first place because I have better control over when someone can access it.) If this still worries you, you don’t have to do this. It just makes reviewing it more convenient for me.
Okay, scrap what I said about the covers. I 100% got off of KP and went hunting for someone to design the covers for me. I have a friend who does digital art and cover designs, and I called her up yesterday. She said she’d do it. Sooooo, you can forget about that other cover. We are getting the real one! I am doing the cover with Aaron on it! So, thanks for suggesting it because it kinda confirmed that a cover like that was the only right one.
Okay. Looking forward to seeing the result!
I will get to your questions regarding the story as a whole later. Give me until the end of October and I will try to have some general feedback for you.
Oh, question: When would be a good time for me to start the next book on here? Maybe next week, or do you both want a longer gap?
I would like to give you my overall feedback first. You could start earlier, but I will ignore it until I am ready. A new fourm would be a good idea for this.
September 27, 2024 at 12:53 pm #186403I kinda don’t mind that you know all of that from that little end part. But would you as a reader rather not know it?
She may eventually join KP.
AWESOME!! You’ll have to introduce her to me when/if she does. That has to be soooo fun having a sibling who also writes!
Firstly, do you have a Google or Microsoft account?
Uh, no. I’m afraid not.
What do you use? Is it free?
Oh that’s great that you can delete the links!
And, you have already posted your whole story up to the internet already here on KP.
True, but at least it’s not all on one little bundle just asking to be taken. Someone would actually have to weed through all of this.
Okay. Looking forward to seeing the result!
So am i! lol.
I will get to your questions regarding the story as a whole later. Give me until the end of October and I will try to have some general feedback for you.
Great.
Wait, what? The end of next month?
Okay then, if that’s the time you need.
I would like to give you my overall feedback first. You could start earlier, but I will ignore it until I am ready. A new fourm would be a good idea for this.
Righto. Let me know when you’re ready for it.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
September 27, 2024 at 1:22 pm #186405I kinda don’t mind that you know all of that from that little end part. But would you as a reader rather not know it?
If you don’t mind, leave it. Depending on when you publish it, you can go back and change this later.
AWESOME!! You’ll have to introduce her to me when/if she does. That has to be soooo fun having a sibling who also writes!
Okay will do. It is nice to have someone I can talk to about my stories in person, but we also have different writing styles/preferences in stories which makes it a little hard to give feedback at times.
Uh, no. I’m afraid not.
Wow. How do you not have a Google or Microsoft account? That’s kind of impressive. I have two Microsoft accounts and have had at least four different Google accounts. (Due to school and work). I could understand why you wouldn’t though.
What do you use? Is it free?
I use Reedsy, which Sara recommended. It is a very nice program for writing.
Wait, what? The end of next month?
Yup. I do want to think about things before I answer, so I will be taking some time. I also will need to make School assignments, preparing a Sunday School lesson, and work a priority. If I have time, I may start going through feedback for you today and work more on TNPT today.
If that is too long, I can give more of an overview of my thoughts by the end of next week. Would that be better?
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