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Happy you found that encouraging! Sorry if at times you have found what I said discouraging, I know I do tend to notice the negative more than the positive, and sometimes I just don’t know what to say. But I’m glad you have continued to write and have not given up!
As to if I think Noah is dead, I had the feeling he would recover so that he could explain what would happen until Darrien discovered the cause of his wounds. Now, I don’t know.
It hasn’t been discouraging, as much as I was frustrated with myself because I felt like my writing ability was broken. I think Alcatraz has been messing with that.
Oh I am going to make him die just so that you never know what happened! That would drive reader’s insane!! That is such a good idea. I hadn’t thought of that!!!
I may do that…….
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
@linus-smallprint bruh I guess not
on-slot
It’s actually spelled “onslaught.”
Also this new thing with Noah is very interesting! While I wouldn’t mind him dying if it furthered the plot, I honestly don’t think you should just kill him off for shock factor and “no one will ever know what happened because he’s dead!”
also I don’t know what this Alcatraz thing is but I don’t think you should let it influence your writing if it’s making you think you’re not good at it.Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
I wouldn’t kill a character just because of that. They need to have a good, solid reason to die.
Oh thank you. All spell check could come up with was on-slot. lol.
Haha! Nononono, Alcatraz is a joke. It’s a series Linus got me started on. (I can’t remember if it was directly or just something he mentioned.) Anyhow, Al has a bad habit of braking everything, which is why I said he broke my writing. lol. It’s a little hard to understand if you haven’t read the books. Don’t worry. It’s not a bad thing.
Thanks for looking out for me though!
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
It was a long, anxious night for Sabina, Aaron, and Darrien. They watched Noah, sometimes helping him to drink a mouthful of water, but mostly just praying, begging God to heal him.
At last, in the early hours of the morning, Noah stirred and woke. Darrien was asleep on his feet, leaning against the wall near the bed. Sabina had dropped off in a chair, Alicia’s head resting against her knee. Aaron was wavering on tired legs, determined to watch his friend and fight of the sleep that threatened. He had almost given up when Noah opened his eyes slowly and blinked in the candle light. He made to push himself up, and then gasped, falling back to the bed. Aaron started and lunged for him. “Noah! Oh thank God!”
Darrien jerked awake and moved forward, but his legs had gone dead and he fell to a half leaning half sitting position against the wall. Sabina and Alicia were up by the time he regained his footing. Darrien heard to his friend’s side and grasped his hand. “Noah, you scared us half t death!”
Noah looked up at Darrien and Aaron. “Where am I? What… what happened?”
“You’re home,” replied Aaron. “Darrien and I went to find you. You were by the fountain. We were hoping you would tell us what happened.”
“But not before you have something to drink,” put in Sabina, holding out a cup of water. Darrien and Aaron help Noah turn over and sit up. He wavered a moment, and Aaron thought he was going to pass out. Noah steadied himself and reached for the cup. After he drank the water, Aaron spoke. “The last we knew of you, you had gone to work.”
“Oh…” Noah’s voice trialed off. “Oh,” he said again.
Aaron glanced at Darrien. “What? What happened?”
Noah winced and his expression turned grim “We were supposed to build on the ruins of the Great Hall. They… they are building a temple to their gods there. They call it a Pantheon.”
Aaron sucked in a sharp breath and Sabina gasped.
Noah continued. “I told them I could not build it and asked to be reassigned. The foreman called the others over and challenged me in front of them. I told him again that I couldn’t do what they asked, but I would be quite willing to work as long as it wasn’t on this. The Foreman said he would show mercy and let me take back what I had said and return to work, unpunished. When I refused…” Noah fell silent.
“They did this?” Aaron asked in horror.
Noah nodded. He looked up at Aaron. “They meant to leave me to die, Aaron. They are ready to kill over this. I am afraid its not over, I have a feeling this has just begun.”
“I know,” Aaron said, covering his face with his hands. “I don’t know what to do! They have banned us ever meeting again, and now they have done this!”
“What do you mean?” Noah demanded.
“Darrien and I found a notice signed by the governor saying that no religious meetings are to be held without a priest. Any in violation of the order will be punished, especially the leaders.” Aaron replied.
“We can’t stop!” exclaimed Noah. “We can’t give in––” he broke off sharply, wincing in pain from the movement.
“Noah, don’t get upset, you’ll hurt yourself!” warned Sabina. “Aaron, Darrien, help him lie down.”
Aaron reached out, but Noah pushed him away, sucking in sharp breath as pain shot through his back. “We can’t stop,” he said again.
“Of course not,” Aaron agreed. “We just have to find a safe place.”
“But where?” Darrien asked desperately.
“We’ll… we’ll meet in homes, shops, taverns… anywhere where we trust the owners and can stay hidden.” Aaron said.
“And Noah?” Alicia asked. “They tried to kill him. What if he’s seen?”
“Noah will stay here unless we find a better place to move him,” replied Aaron. “I think he’ll be safe. After all, he’s only one Ardentan in this city. I’m sure no one will remember his face.” He turned to Darrien. “Isn’t there a cellar here?”
Darrien nodded.
“Then please spread the word among the fellowship that we will hold the Sabbath meeting there,” instructed Aaron. His eyes were narrowed in determination. “We complied once, but the time has come when it is God or man, and I chose God forever and always.”
***
Noah’s wounds healed slowly, and he slept most of the day. Darrien and Aaron continued to work each day, bringing home what little money was given to them. Alicia and Sabina carefully used the few coins to buy what they could by way of food.
Noah was very weak, and They all knew he needed good, nourishing meals, but Sabina was hardly able to afford vegetables, let alone meat.
Later that week, Aaron was able to buy a few bones from a butcher, and these Sabina used to make a broth for Noah. Aaron prayed desperately for his friend’s healing and also for enough food to feed the growing children.
One afternoon a cold rain fell, causing a very miserable working atmosphere for Aaron and Darrien. When they arrived home, cold and wet, Sabina ordered them upstairs while she ran to light a fire.
Aaron came down before Darrien, who decided to sit with Noah for a while. Aaron took a chair by the fire and held out his cold hands to the blaze. He could hear the children’s laughter in the other room, and he smiled.
A pattering of feet sounded and Aaron looked up. Joseph came in and climbed up on Aaron’s lap. “How are you?” Aaron asked.
“Cold and tired,” replied Joseph. He was wearing a winter shirt under his vest, but he snuggled close to Aaron.
Aaron wrapped his arms around Joseph and hugged him tightly. “There, is that better?”
Joseph nodded.
“Did you get a new shirt?” Aaron asked, looking at the large, drooping sleeves.
Joseph shook his head. “This is mine from my farm. I brought it when Papa and I ran away.”
Aaron’s brows drew together and he slowly shook his head. “No, that can’t be right. This shirt is too big for you, and that one fit just right.”
“I know,” replied Joseph. “I probably shrinked.”
Aaron sat Joseph up and look at him anxiously. He laid a hand on the boy’s shoulder and felt his sharp little bones against his palm. “Joseph, are you hungry?” he asked.
Joseph thought a moment. “Well, I guess I always am since the war, and now I don’t really notice it.”
Aaron’s eyes stung and he grabbed Joseph, pulling the boy against his chest. So many things were on the tip of his tongue. It’s alright Joseph, I’ll get you something to eat… Don’t worry, you won’t be hungry anymore… he wanted to say it, but he knew he couldn’t. It was a lie. Oh God, I’m doing all I can. Please, please help me. I can’t do it alone.
Very early Sabbath morning, the people came while the land was still cloaked in heavy blackness. Some arrived in little groups, others one or two at a time, but they were all there. Darrien lead the meeting that morning, and Noah insisted on being brought down where he sat quietly listening. His face was pale and drawn, but he didn’t want to leave until the meeting was over. When Darrien finished, Aaron quietly told about the notice and what had happened to Noah. The believers they laid their hands on Noah, praying for his recovery. As they did, Aaron saw his friend relax, and a look of peace passed over his face. When they were done, Noah looked more solemn, but there was a new light in his eyes. They spent another half hour in prayer for their country, and then everyone slipped away, planning to come to the Miller’s house at night the next week.
Aaron hoped if they changed up the time of day and the place they met, they would not be noticed. But deep inside, he knew that each of them would be cornered at one point, and forced to choose between God or man.
As Aaron lay in bed that night, thoughts ran circles in his mind. He had always told himself he would do what was right if the time came. In fact, it hadn’t even been something to think about. But that was when it was just an idea. Now that the time had come upon them. After seeing what they had done to Noah, Aaron began to grow worried. Would I have the strength to follow Christ to the end? He turned over on his side and stared at the wall, his mind filled with dark thoughts. At last, he whispered softly in the night. “Father, I will not have the strength. Please give it to me when the time comes. I will trust You to the end, for I know You are faithful and will never leave me.” With that said, peace seemed to sweep over him, and Aaron closed his eyes and slept.
They days passed and the Pantheon grew in size. Aaron and Darrien passed it often on their way to work, and they both knew it’s completion was dawning. Aaron didn’t want to think about what that might mean.
One evening, Aaron sat by Noah’s bed. “I don’t know what to do. The children are practically starving, and the money we get just isn’t enough.”
“I can try to get up tomorrow,” replied Noah. “I did today.”
Aaron shook his head. “Sabina said you almost passed out.”
Noah sighed. “I wish there was something I could do. I feel like I’m making everything worse.”
“No, your not,” replied Aaron. “Noah, I can hardly bare the thought of losing you. We all care deeply for you.”
Noah smiled wryly. “That would feed the children.”
“I was thinking about asking if anyone would be wiling to take some of them. But… I don’t want to throw that burden on others. We’re all struggling,” Aaron said.
Noah thought about that for a few moments. “How about we pray about it, and if God sends someone to us, we’ll know it’s His will.”
Aaron agreed, and the two bowed their heads in prayer. “Father,” began Noah. “You know how hard it is to find food for these children. If it is Your will, please send loving parents to care for some of them and give them a petter home then we can provide here.”
“Yes Father,” murmured Aaron.
The door creaked and the two looked up. Asher was peaking around the corner. “Can I come see Noah?” he asked.
Aaron nodded and motioned him over.
Asher slipped in, followed by Eric. The two boys came and crawled up on the bed. “Noah, do a trick,” said Eric.
Asher shook his head. “No Eric, Sabina said not to bother him.”
Eric looked crestfallen, but he nodded.
Noah glanced around the room, clearly looking for something. Aaron spotted a torn piece of parchment with a sentence scrawled across it. Aaron raised and eyebrow and Noah nodded. Then he turned to the brothers. “A trick,” he said slowly. “What kind of trick?”
Aaron grabbed the parchment and folded it several times before slipping it into Noah’s hand.
Eric leaned forward eagerly. “One of your very own special ones.”
Noah thought a moment. “Hmm, well–– hold still!”
Eric froze, a huge grin on his face. Noah reached out and deftly swiped the parchment from behind the boy’s ear. “Would you look at this!”
“What is it?” Eric exclaimed.
“Why don’t you find out,” suggested Noah.
Eric opened it and stared down at the words in excitement. “I can’t read, but it must be special.”
“Let me try,” Asher broke in.
Eric handed the paper over to him, and Asher held it in both hands, his face tight with concentration. “Th-they, that wait upon the Lord will re- re-”
“Renew,” Aaron said quietly.
“Will renew their str-en-gth. Strength.” Asher looked up gleefully. “I read it all myself!” He handed the paper to his brother and jumped off the bed. Taring from the room, he raced down the hall. “Sabina! Sabina, listen to what I did!”
Eric took off after his brother, and Aaron smiled. “I think that’s our answer,” he said, quietly.
Noah nodded in agreement.
A few days later, a couple from church knocked on the door. They left with Walter and his sister. The following day a family came and took baby Rosa and Joel. Then another came for Martin. It wasn’t long before Asher, Eric, and Joseph were the only ones left. With less then half the former mouths to feed, Sabina was able to afford sturdier food. Soon color came back to the little boys’ faces, and Noah was able to get up and come downstairs.
The believers continued to meet every Sabbath. Sometimes they came at night, other times in the morning, but never did they miss a week. Even in that dark time, it was clear God had not forgotten them. The threat of the empire hung like a shadow, and everyone was particularly aware that whoever was leading meetings was in the most danger. Aaron feared this would drive many of the believer’s away. Instead, it had the opposite effect. Five young men requested to be trained under Aaron, Noah, and Darrien to become church leaders. After much prayer and consideration, they were accepted, and their training began.
***
It was late one night in early autumn. The days were still hot, but the nights were pleasantly cool. It never really got very cold in Ardenta, and the autumn was a beautiful season. Supper was over and the children were in bed. Noah and Darrien were studying with two of the young men who had been able to sneak to the orphanage unnoticed. Aaron was with them for a time, but he, Noah, and Darrien had already planned this meeting before hand. Seeing how well they were carrying it, Aaron decided to slip away for a moment.
Aaron came into the kitchen and found Sabina scouring a pot with sand. Aaron leaned against the doorpost and watched her for a moment.
Sabina looked up and laughed. “Why are you smiling at me like that?”
“I was remembering the first day we met. You were scouring a pot that day and I was sweeping the floor, remember?” Aaron asked.
Sabina flushed. “Oh don’t remind me.” But she laughed all the same. “I was a little terror then.”
“Not anymore,” replied Aaron. They were silent for a moment. Then, he spoke. “Come up onto the roof.”
Sabina stood and came to him. Aaron lead the way and they walked outside and ran up the steps to the roof. The sunset was fading already, and the first stars could be seen. The two sat down and watched the sky in silence. At last, Sabina spoke, her voice a soft murmur that was almost lost in the breeze. “I love the stars. They make me feel so close to God. I just look up and think of how He made all of them, like diamonds thrown into the sky. He knows their number, yet, He still cares about me!”
Aaron looked at her in surprise. “I guess I never told you this, but that’s just how I feel.”
Sabina smiled. “The God who made the stars is with us now.”
“Forever and ever,” Aaron added softly. He paused a moment, and then turned to face Sabina all the way. “Sabina, it has been such a wonderful blessing to get to know you these past months. You are a wonderful, Godly young woman. Your purity and faith is more beautiful to me then diamonds. You are such a wonderful young woman, and you have helped and strengthened me as well as brought me such joy.”
Sabina blushed, here dark brown eyes watching his every move.
Aaron continued. “I haven’t got anything to offer you. My life is in danger, and any day the empire may, and most likely will, put me to the test. I cannot promise a home, safety, plenty, or even that we will be together long, for my life could be taken at any moment.” He stopped, and Sabina looked up at him, her heart racing; silently begging him to go on.
Aaron took both of her hands in his, and he found that they were trembling as much as his own. He looked into her eyes. “Sabina, I can promise my love forever. I can promise my life to give for you, my heart to love you, my strength to provide what I can, and my devotion to you. I can promise to always walk with God and lead you in that same path.” Aaron took a deep breath. Then he spoke the words that he had longed to say but never dared to. “Sabina, I love you like no other person in the world. My love for God will be the only thing that ever surpasses my love for you. Will you be my wife?”
“Yes Aaron,” Sabina whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Oh yes! Oh yes!” She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “I love you Aaron, oh I love you so much!”
Aaron laughed, tears filling his eyes as he hugged her in return. “Oh Sabina,” he whispered. “I love you, Sabina. I love you.”
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
@ellette-giselle ahhh ok. I can understand a character messing around with your thoughts. Happens to me all the time lol
and I can agree with the “solid reason to die” thing.
oh and Aaron and Sabina’s scene at the end was really sweet!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
I’m glad you liked Aaron and Sabina’s betrothal!!! So0 sweet!
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
@ellette-giselle you’re very welcome!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
Oh I am going to make him die just so that you never know what happened! That would drive reader’s insane!! That is such a good idea. I hadn’t thought of that!!!
I may do that…….
You make Alcatraz look tame.
I have time to catch up today!
“We can’t stop!” exclaimed Noah. “We can’t give in––” he broke off sharply, wincing in pain from the movement.
What movement?
This chapter was well-balanced again. The kids, not being worried as much, help lighten things up and because of the way Noah handled Eric and Asher’s request to perform a trick, it creates hope instead of despair, like the way Aaron was tempted to comfort Joseph would have.
Ah, so this is when Aaron proposes. Nice.
You make Alcatraz look tame.
😈
What movement?
Uhhhhh… well…. I guess in my mind someone normally moves when they get worked up in conversation….. I do.
I can clean that up a bit.This chapter was well-balanced again
*throws confetti in the air and races around the room*
awesome!!! I rock!!! Touchdown me!!!!!!!
🤣Ah, so this is when Aaron proposes. Nice.
❤️☺️
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
this is VERY long. 😊
Sabina and Aaron’s betrothal shone as alight through the dark fog of suspense that surrounded the believers. Sabina and Aaron were well loved by all, and the prospect of the first Christian wedding to be held in the capital filled the church with excitement. Of course, plans of the traditional seven-day wedding feast were at first whispered about, and then quickly rejected. After all, it was impossible to do at a time like this, especially when everyone was attempting to stay low. So instead, they decided to do a very simplewedding. All the customs mostly took place outside, involving races, games, dances, and competitions. Weddings always took place after the harvest and most often replace the harvest festival, which meant that the marriage ceremonyand the harvest festival somehow ended up very intwined. Of course this could not take place owing to the fact that no one was allowed to leave the city.
Sabina didn’t really mind. She would marry Aaron, and that was all that mattered. Aaron mentioned the thought that they would be the first Christian’s to be married in Ardenta, so perhaps it was not bad that their wedding was different. “Don’t worry,” he told her. “There are plenty of fun things we can do in a house!”
So the children whispered, the women prepared, and the men kept out of their way, recalling how the excitement was in the old days, and thinking about how it was the same now, yet also different.
Those of the women who had their wedding gowns all offered them to Sabina. After several days of searching, one was found that could be easily altered to fit her perfectly. With the traditional wedding crown offered to her by one of the women, she looked like a princess.
As soon as the dress was found, plans were made to hold the wedding within a week. Aaron could hardly contain his excitement. The only thing that could dampen his joy was the fact that he couldn’t share this special day with his father and sister. Aaron prayed that one day the border would be opened and he could take Sabina back to his home to meet his family.
***
It was the Sabbath–– two days before the wedding. Everyone was gathered in the cellar of the Pattersons’ home. They were singing softly, yet passionately, lifting praises to their Savior and King. Aaron was sitting with Sabina on one side of him and Joseph on the other. Joseph was leaning against Aaron, his eyes drooping closed. Eric was asleep in Sabina’s lap, and Asher was yawning next to her. A few seats away, Joseph spotted Joel sitting with his new family. The boy was snuggled close to his father, and he waved to Aaron. Aaron smiled in return. It brought him deep joy to see the children who had left the orphanage so well loved and cared for.
At was several hours before dawn, and several of the little children had been picked up out of bed and carried to the meeting, still sound asleep. Others leaned drowsily against parents and older siblings, fighting off the sleep that seemed so welcoming after a long walk in the cold. Aaron felt Sabina’s hand slip into his, and he squeezed it gently.
The singing was followed by a time of prayer. When that was over, Aaron got to his feet. Joseph sat up, blinking like a disturbed owlet. Sabina reached out her free arm and pulled the boy close.Aaron stepped into the center of the circle that was formed by benches, chairs, and other things the people had found to sit on. Aaron smiled at the faces turned toward him. “I remember the first meeting we had in this city. What a joy and strength it is to see many of the same faces.” he cleared his throat. “Please forgive me. I might be a little distracted today.” He smiled at Sabina, and a chuckle ran around the room. Aaron grinned. “Alright now, lets get started.” He bowed his head, and the rest in the room did likewise. “Father, thank You for bringing us together here this morning. Thank You for keeping us safe thus far. Please speak to us today as we study Your word. In the name of Your Son we pray, amen.”
Aaron opened his Bible and flipped to the book of James. “Today I wanted to read the first chapter of James. I have been studying it this past month, and I have found so many things that apply to us.”
Aaron read through the passage and the people listened quietly. When the chapter was finished, Aaron began to explain some of the events that were happening at the time James wrote his letter. “It is my understanding that this letter was written shortly after Stephen’s death and the dispersion of the church,” Aaron told them. “I would like to turn to that passage in Acts and–––”
The door to the cellar crashed open, cutting Aaron off mid sentence. Someone shrieked and several men and boys leapt up, preparing to defend their families at all cost.
A group of soldiers clattered down the stairs, crossbows in hand. They came to a stop, and silence filled the room. No one moved, no one spoke, and the dread and tension became unbearable. At last, a lieutenant stepped forward. “We were informed that a meeting was being held here.”
Silence.
“Do you not know that to hold any meeting, but especially a religious meeting, is against the law?” the Lieutenant demanded.
“Yes,”Aaronreplied firmly. “But we must obey God over man.”
A few of the soldiers hissed through their teeth and one raised his crossbow. The Lieutenant made a sharp motion with his hand, and the man lowered his weapon. The officer turned back to the people. “Whose building is this?”
“Mine,” Mr. Patterson replied.
“You are to pay a fine of fifty in gold,” the Lieutenant told him.
Mr Patterson nodded and squeezed his wife’s hand. Everyone else in the room immediately made eye contact with him, and he read in the looks that he would not be paying the fine alone.
“The rest of you must pay two silver coins and get out,” continued the Lieutenant. He made a motion with his hand and turned toward the stairs. He stopped, and everyone looked up.
At the top off the stairs stood another officer. From the way the Lieutenant immediately snapped to attention, it was clear this man outranked him. The second officer took off his helmet and tucked it under his arm before descending the stairs. “Who is the leader of this meeting?”
Breaths were sucked in sharply and everyone went still. It had looked as though they would escape easily. But now…
“I am,” Aaron said.
The soldier officer at him, and then started slightly. “You aren’t even Ardantin.” His eyes narrowed and he turned to the Lieutenant. “Arrest him and bring him in for questioning.”
The Lieutenant pushed his way through the gathered people, two men with crossbows flanking him.
Aaron did not move. He watched the soldiers for a moment, and then slowly set his Bible down on the bench beside him.His gaze flicked toward Sabina, and he saw she was looking at him, her face white. Noah and Darrien were on their feet, and it looked as though Darrien was about to do something. Aaron shook his head slightly and turned back to face the soldiers. They reached him, and the Lieutenant nodded to his men. Aaron offered no resistance as one of the soldiers yanked his arms roughly behind his back and bound them tightly.
Aaron sucked in a breath. Fear was cutting through every inch of him, but he repeated to himself over and over, it’s only a questioning, it’s only a questioning. He did not dare think where that questioning might lead him. Father be with me, he pleaded.
Sabina broke free from the crowd and ran toward Aaron. One of the soldiers grabbed her arm and yanked her back. “Don’t hurt her!” Aaron exclaimed.
Sabina looked up at Aaron, and he saw the terror in her eyes. He gave him the most reassuring smile he could manage, and then mouthed, “He will be with me.”
***
Aaron drew in a slow breath and looked at the man in front of him. He had been taken to the new fort built across from the Pantheon–– a large, formidable structure.The soldiers had cut his bonds–– an intimidating reminder that there was no escape from this place. Now he was standing before one of the Governor’s officials. Father give me courage, speak through me. Please help me to answer faithfully. Don’t let me waver, he prayed silently.
The man looked Aaron up and down, seeming to scrutinize him. He shook his head, as if in disgust, and then spoke. “Can you read?”
“Yes,” Aaron replied.
The official raised an eyebrow. “Well then, did you read the many notices about religious meetings?”
Aaron nodded. “Yes sir, I did”
“Were you leading a religious meeting?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know that is against the law?”
“I know it is against your laws, but I must obey God before man,” Aaron firmly replied.
There was a long silence, and one of the two guards by the door shifted, his movement magnified in the stillness. At last the official spoke. “What is your name?”
“Aaron Dalvarian,” Aaron replied.
“You are not from Ardenta, Aaron Dalvarian,” the man remarked. “Nor are you of Imperial blood. What nation or race do you belong to?”
Aaron hesitated a moment, and then replied, “I am Vendailian.”
“Tell me, what does Vendailia or her people have to do with Ardenta?” the man asked.
“Nothing,” responded Aaron. “I did not come here for any reasons that may come to your mind. I came to bring the truth of salvation through Jesus Christ to the people of this country.”
The official arched an eyebrow incredulously. “You traveled all the way here to tell the people of your God?”
“Yes,” Aaron replied. “I came for no other reason.”
The official laughed and shook his head. He turned away, but paused. Turning back to Aaron, asked with interest, “Did they listen to you?”
“Yes,” Aaron replied. “Many did.”
“So, you mean to say that you, a lone stranger from another country, a mere boy, convinced the Ardentans, the most suspicious and stubborn of people, known far and wide for hating strangers, to accept your beliefs?”
Aaron nodded. “Yes sir.”
A thoughtful look came to the official’s face. “So, you must have great influence among them.”
Aaron nodded slowly. “Some, but it was only by the power of God. I was speaking His word to the people, and He opened their hearts to hear it.”
The man looked as though he were deep in thought. At last he turned away. “Hold this boy until I give further instructions.”
The guards came and lead Aaron from the room and down a hall. They descended a dark spiral staircase into a dim, damp hall. They stopped at one of the many doors, and one of the guards unlocked it. Aaron was forced in and the door was slammed and locked behind him.
Aaron stood in the silence, breathing hard. One narrow, barred window at the roof was the only thing that broke the monotony of the harsh, stone walls around him. The early morning light trickled in, throwing small patches on the floor.
Aaron leaned against the wall and covered his face with his hands. “Father help me,” he prayed. “I… I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid, I can’t see my way. Oh You know how I hate not knowing what will come! Yet it’s always happening to me!” Aaron hit the wall hard, trying to drum out fear, anxiety, and frustration. “Oh help me, please help me.” he whispered. Slowly he slid down and sat with his back against the wall. “I made the choice to come. I made the choice to stay. I have trusted You and You have never left me. You have kept me safe and lead me thus far. Give me the strength to trust You now.”
***
It was late in the afternoon when Aaron was brought back to the office where he had been questioned that morning. The same man was waiting for him, and he seemed very pleased. “Aaron, after much talk and thought, we have come to a conclusion that, I believe, will leave us both pleased and unharmed.”
Aaron’s eyes narrowed and he was immediately on guard.
“You see,” the official continued. “As I said before, the Ardentans are headstrong, hateful, and suspicious of strangers. Over all hard to deal with. To run this province well, the Governor must convince the people to obey and listen to him. Uniting them with one purpose under the gods of our land will ultimately do this. Now, you have caused problems by drawing the people away to worship your God, but it has shown that you have a way with them. They listen to you, trust you, and will most likely follow you. This is what we have decided; we will let you work with us. Bring the people into submission and you will be well rewarded. You will also escape all punishment.” He nodded in satisfaction. “So, now that this has been settled, I’ll see to it that you are given better quarters. We’ll get you some better clothes than those nasty things you are wearing. Tomorrow you will begin your training under the high priest’s assistant.” He turned to walk from the room, expecting Aaron to follow.
Aaron stood stock still, his face pale with horror. The whole time he had been too stunned to speak, but when the man turned, he found his voice. “No.”
“‘No’ what?” the man asked, turning back.
“No, I cannot do that,” Aaron replied. “I have given my life to God, and Him alone do I serve.”
The man looked him over, searching for the smile Aaron would crack to show it was a mere jest. When no such expression appeared, his eyes narrowed. “I see you need more time to come to your senses,” he growled. He nodded to the guards and left.
Aaron was taken back to his cell and left alone. He slowly sat down, feeling almost stunned. It had happened so fast, and it had been so unexpected. He had been prepared to defend his faith, undergo more questioning… but not this. This had been completely unexpected. “I can’t believe he offered me that,” he said, half of a laugh clinging to his voice. Slowly, dread began to settle over him. “Father, I feel lost right now, I don’t know why, but I do. I wish…” his voice trailed off. What did he wish? That he could be free? Well of course, but that was not what had come to mind. That he could speak to his friends? That he could read his Bible? Yes, but all that was impossible, there was no reason to even ask. God didn’t stop them from arresting me. Aaron shook his head. Why am I even here? I don’t understand what is going on, and I don’t understand why they were able to capture me. God kept me safe for so long…
Aaron sighed and rubbed the palms of his hands over his eyes. Why was he even here? So he could think about his decision? He had made it, it was done. But, apparently they wouldn’t take no0 for an answer. Aaron closed his eyes. He was tired, and he wanted to talk to someone. Somehow, in this moment when he needed Him most, God seemed very far away. “As far away as that window,” he muttered, looking up to the source of light. From what he could see, it looked as though sunset was near at hand. “I can’t believe I’ve been here all day. It doesn’t feel like it has been more then an hour, yet it also feels as though it has been years.”
Aaron began absentmindedly tracing the ridges of the stone floor with his finger. For some reason, there seemed to be a void between him and God. Why? He wondered. I have always felt close to Him. Where has this wall come from? It was then that Aaron realized the truth. He froze, staring at the floor. “It’s because I’m angry with Him for letting me get caught,” he breathed.
Deep down inside, unnoticed at first, a little voice had whispered that God had not protected him–– that He had failed when Aaron needed Him most. Little by little, Aaron had believed those words and taken them as his own thoughts.
Aaron scrambled to his feet, his fists clenched. “In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you to leave devil. Get out out of here, you lying serpent. You have no power here. I belong to God and by His grace I am saved. I am His, He will never let me go, He has not failed me. You are a lier, and you always have been. Leave now, and don’t ever return.” He let out a slow breath and sat down again. Aaron looked up to the window where shafts of golden light from the setting sun spilled in. “Father, forgive me for believing the lies of the devil. I trust You, Lord. Keep me safe and guard me from the evil one. May Your will be done in my life. I am ready to face whatever You call me to face, only give me the strength.”
His words had hardly died away when steps sounded in the hall. Aaron looked toward the door and sawlantern light flickering through the barred window that spanned the upper half of the door. Aaron slowly stood, bracing for whatever was about to happen. A guard stepped to the window and hung his lantern on the wall beside it. “Someone is here to speak to you,” he growled.
Aaron took a deep breath. Give me courage, he prayed. Aaron slowly came to the door and the guard stepped away. Aaron’s firm refusal was on his lips as the visiter flew to the door, grasping the bars with a frightened cry. “Aaron! Oh Aaron are you harmed!”
“Sabina!” Aaron gasped in horror and joy. He grabbed the bars and she placed her hands over his. “What are you doing here?” asked Aaron.
“I had to come,” Sabina replied. She looked over her shoulder at the guard. “I am alright here sir, please tell me when I must leave,” she said gently.
The guard nodded to her, turned, and walked away.
Sabina looked back at Aaron, shaking her head to knock the hood of her cloak free, for she was not about to let go of his hands.
“How did you get here?” Aaron asked.
“I made Darrien bring me. He came to see you. Noah wanted to come too, but we wouldn’t let him because his wounds are not fully healed. When we got here, they wouldn’t let us see you. Then I told them I was your betrothed, and one of the men said to take me to see you, but on one condition.”
“What?” Aaron asked warily.
“I have to convince you to come to your senses,” Sabina replied.
Aaron’s hands tightened on the bars until his knuckle went white. “No,” he whispered. “Sabina, I love you, but nothing you could say would ever make me chose differently. I have to––”
Sabina put her fingers to his lips. “Aaron, hush.” She looked up at him, her eyes bright with tears. “I believe that you have never lost your senses,” she said softly, a smile playing at the corner of her lips. “And if you had, I would have to convince you to come back to your right mind and refuse whatever the men of the Empire wanted you to do.” Then she grew serious, and her hands tightened over his. “Nothing in the world would ever make me try to convince you to turn from God.”
Aaron smiled at her, relief flooding through him. “Oh Sabina, how I thank God for you.”
Sabina looked at him, searching his face. “What has happened? Have they hurt you?”
“No, I’m alright,” Aaron replied.
“Why are they holding you here? Is it because of the meeting?” Sabina asked.
Aaron shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
Sabina’s eyes widened. “Then what?”
Aaron looked away, not wanting to voice the horrible thing they had asked him to do.
“Aaron, tell me,” Sabina pleaded.
Aaron took in a slow breath. “They want me to join them and convince all of you to follow their gods. They say I have a way with the people, and they believe I would be useful to them. I told them no, but they aren’t going to take it for an answer.”
“Oh Aaron, you can’t! No matter what they do you can’t!” Sabina exclaimed.
“I know,” Aaron replied, quietly. “Pray for me, please.”
“We all are,” Sabina told him. “Everyone has been praying without ceasing, down to the littlest child.”
At that, Aaron thought of Joseph, Asher, and Eric. “Tell me Sabina, are the boys safe?”
“Yes, they are home with Noah and Alicia. They have been praying for you, Aaron. Joseph––” she broke off and swallowed back tears. “Joseph is asking God to… to bring his father home.”
Aaron closed his eyes against tears. “Oh my poor little Joseph,” he whispered in a choked voice. He drew in a shuddering breath and looked up at Sabina. “He… he told me he wanted us to become his father and mother.”
“I know. He told me the night after we were betrothed.” She looked up at Aaron. There is no reason why we won’t, is there?”
“No, none that I know of,” Aaron replied softly. “But… for some reason, there is a feeling of dread that tells me I may never get out of this. Something tells me this may be the last trial I face––” he broke off, seeing the terror in Sabina’s eyes. “It’s nothing, I’m sure of it.”
“Aaron,” Sabina whispered. “What if it’s true?”
Aaron sucked in a sharp breath. He looked into Sabina’s dark eyes, full of trust and sorrow. “Then I will stay true to the end.”
Sabina tried to swallow but couldn’t. She choked down her first sob but the second slipped out. “Oh Aaron, Aaron, Aaron,” she whispered as tears spilled down her face. “Oh Aaron, I love you. I love you so much.” She leaned her forehead on the bars and tried to stifle her sobs. Aaron leaned his head against hers and closed his eyes. “Father help us,” he breathed, as tears ran down his face.
At last, Sabina looked up. “Aaron, do you trust God?”
Aaron raised lifted his eyes to meet hers. “Yes. Yes I do.”
Sabina slid her hand through the bars and her fingers brushed Aaron’s cheek. He leaned against her hand and closed his eyes, letting her cool touch sooth his flushed face. “I trust Him to,” she whispered. “Aaron I love you and I know you love me. But, we both love God more, and that is what makes our love so rich. Yet, it is God we must choose first. If it comes to the point where your life is demanded… do not let thoughts of me hold you back from following Him.”
Aaron looked up at her. “I won’t. By God’s grace, I promise you now that I will let nothing hold me back.”
Sabina withdrew her hand and Aaron grasped it. “Will you pray with me before you go?”
“Of course,” Sabina replied softly.
The two bowed their heads and Aaron began. “Father, give me strength to face whatever may come. Help me to stay true to You, no matter what. Be with the rest of the believers. Strengthen them and give them courage. Be with Sabina, Joseph, Asher, Eric, Darrien, and Noah. Help them to trust You, no matter what happens. Protect us all, and may Your will be done.”
“Father,” Sabina whispered. “Father, I love Aaron so much. The thought of possibly loosing him is overwhelming. Please give me the strength to let him go if that is what You ask of me. Give us both strength. Be with Aaron, comfort him, speak to him, and draw both of us closer to You in this trial.”
Sabina looked up into Aaron’s eyes, tears trickling down her face. “The God who made the stars is with us now,”
“Forever and ever,” finish Aaron.
Sabina let go of him and looked down the hall in both directions. She reached for the strings of the vest that she wore over her dress. Untying them, she pulled the vest loose and reached into it. She withdrew a leather satchel and passed it through the bars to Aaron. “This is for you. I thought you might need it.”
“Thank you,” Aaron whispered. He gently lowered it to the floor and then took Sabina’s hands again.
Steps sounded, and Sabina looked toward the hall. “My time is up.”
“I love you,” Aaron said gently.
“I love you too, Aaron,” Sabina replied.
The guard came to them. “It is time to leave, Miss.”
Sabina nodded, and then looked back at Aaron. “Farewell Aaron, until we meet again.”
“Until we meet again,” repeated Aaron, squeezing her hands. He let her go, and Sabina turned and followed the guard. She glanced back and lifted a hand in farewell. Then she and the guard were gone. Aaron leaned his head against the bars and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of her steps fading away.
When he could here her no more, Aaron bent and felt about in the shadows for the satchel. He picked it up and carried it to the patch of light that shone down from the almost full moon. The light was silvery and bright, bathing everything in white. Aaron undid the satchel and reached inside. He pulled out his Bible, journal, ink, and a quill. Underneath these was something wrapped in cloth. When he opened the bundle, he found bread and cheese.
It was then that Aaron realized something. God had answered the two wishes Aaron had refused to voice. Aaron closed his eyes. “Thank You,” he whispered. “Oh help me to never doubt again!”
Aaron ate the food quickly, andthen he opened his Bible. A piece of paper slipped out and fell to the ground.Aaron picked it up and opened it.
My Dearest Aaron,
I don’t know what has happened to you, or what will, but if you ever receive this note I hope you will remember that I am praying for you. I ask God to give you strength and courage. I know when the time comes, you will do what is right. You are a true man of God, Aaron, and I love you for it. You are a strong warrior for Christ, and I know you will never, ever turn from Him.
I love you, Aaron. I love you with all of my heart.
Sabina
Aaron held the letter close, and let out a slow breath. “I love you too, Sabina,” he whispered. “Lord, give me the courage to do what’s right. Please give me comfort and strength.”
Aaron picked up his Bible and thumbed through it, unsure of what to read. He paused at Hebrews 10 and his eyes skimmed the passage. He paused on verse 32 and began to read to the end of the chapter.
‘But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For,
“Yet a little while,
and the coming One will come and will not delay;
but My righteous one shall live by faith,
and if he shrinks back,
My soul has no pleasure in him.”But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.’
Aaron sat and pondered these words for a time. He continued on, turning page after page, searching for strength and peace. He came to Romans and began to skim the chapters. Coming to chapter 8 he began to read, starting with verse 31.
‘What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the One who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or desolation, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
“For Your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither life nor death, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.’
Aaron thought a moment and then began turning the pages, going backward this time, unsure of what he was searching for. He came to the Psalms and skimmed over them, still searching for something in the back of his memory. At last, he found it. He had memorized theses verses as a child just after his parents died.
‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.’Aaron slowly closed his Bible. “I can’t understand right now, and I can’t see my way through. But you can. I trust You Father. Your ways and thoughts are higher then mine. I cannot begin to understand everything, but You know what is best. I give my life to You. I am Yours forever.”
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
Aaron and Sabina planned the wedding quite quickly after he proposed, but there’s nothing wrong with that. A) This is a different culture than ours and, B considering the fact that danger is lurking around the corner all the time for them now, so it makes sense that they would want to get married before something happens.
Oh, something happened.
Question. Are we approaching the climax of the book now? I’m getting that feeling again, but last time I had it, I was wrong.
My guess, the lieutenant will become a Christian himself.
Yeah, honestly, why wait? Not only the two things you brought up, but also the fact that they live in the same building…. I mean they might as well get married.
Do you really want me to answer that question?
My guess, the lieutenant will become a Christian himself.
Hmmmm.
I make no comment.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
It was early morning when Aaron woke from a light but peaceful sleep. He had stayed up long into the night, praying and studying his Bible. He sat up and watched the dim light from the rising sun grow stronger as the sun climbed higher, throwing more light through the bars of the window.
Aaron picked up his journal and, opening the ink jar and pulling out his quill, he flipped to a blank page. For a time he just stared at it. Then, he slowly dipped the quill and ink and set it to the paper. Taking a very long time he formed the first letter. Aaron gathered his thoughts together and his writing flowed smoother.
My Dear Sabina,
I thank God that you came to me last night. You do not know how much strength your visit brought to me.
Last night, there were two things I wished for– besides my freedom of course. One was someone to talk to, the other was my Bible. I did not ask God for either, for I knew it was impossible for me to do, and so the devil whispered the lie that it was imposable for Him to do as well, and I believed it. But God, in the mercy and loving-kindness He always shows to us, brought You, Sabina. And beyond that, He caused you to bring my Bible, as well as something to eat and something to write with; two blessings I did not even think of. Oh Sabina, how wonderful He is. He so kindly bestowed upon me the things I would not ask for. Oh why–– how–– can we even begin to doubt Him? It angers me that I still struggle with such a simple thing, yet it also magnifies the grace and love God has shown me. I know that if I were God, I would have been driven to wrath by me long ago, and would have given me up as a hopeless cause. Oh how wonderful it is that God’s ways are not our own! Last night, I spent many hours in prayer and study, and I have been astonished at how close, dear, and real the passages seem to me. There is one thing that I have learned about trials, Sabina. They do two things; harden and embitter you, and convince you to turn away from God. Or, if you call out to God, He is faithful to save and uses the trials to drive you ever nearer to Him and refine you into a purer likeness of Him. I confess, the latter can be hard to accept, for this means that we must admit that God is completely in control and this is part of His wonderful plan. While this may seem simple enough, when you are caught in the storm it is hard to believe any good will come of it, and easy to question God’s judgment. It has only been through hours of pain and prayer, fighting desperately against the deceiver, that I have come to the place where I can rest at peace in the knowledge that I am fully and completely in the hands of the God of the universe. And He makes NO mistakes.
It is morning now, and I am sure I will be called upon to repeat the answer I gave before. The devil is too cunning to put into my mind thoughts of accepting their wishes, but he has brought thoughts of slight compromise. Of meeting part way and not ‘really sinning, but just sinning a little.’ Oh Sabina, it has been hard. But, I know that there is only one word I can speak, and that is “No”. I cannot make any compromise, even if it requires grave punishment if I don’t.
I love you dearest. May God’s will be done.Aaron Dalvarian
Aaron lay down his quill and closed the ink. He did not know if Sabina would ever get her hands on this, but he hoped she would. “Father, please do the impossible. I know You can” he whispered with a smile.
The key rattled in the lock, and Aaron scrambled to his feet. He stood waiting as the guard stepped in. It was the same man from last night, and in the morning light, Aaron saw he was young, not much older then himself. The guard looked at Aaron, seeming to also see him in the light for the first time. He nodded curtly and Aaron stepped into the hall. They went up the stairs, through the halls, and to the room where it had all started. The guard opened the door, and Aaron stepped in. The guard pulled the door closed and stood against the wall, waiting.
The Governor’s official was there again, and he turned to look at Aaron. “I trust you have come to your right mind.”
“Yes, I have,” Aaron replied.
The man must have sensed something in Aaron’s tone. “Let me state this one more time, and in plain words that a peasant farm boy would understand. You are either for us, or against us. Our ally, or our enemy. There is no middle ground. If you are not working with us, then you are a threat; an enemy. Do you know what happens to enemies of the Empire?” he asked. When Aaron did not reply, he stepped closer. “The prince of Ardenta was an enemy.”
In a flash, Aaron saw the streets strewn with dead and wounded. He could remember Prince Edwin looking up at him in desperation. The lighting, the evil look on the face of the officer as he pulled the trigger… and then an awful silence; the rain turning crimson in the street.
When Aaron looked up, he found the same man who had looked down on Edwin, glaring down at him. He snatched in a breath and stepped back instinctively.
“Ah, you must have been there,” The official smiled. “Well, I will tell you now, we show no mercy to our enemies. So, are you with us?”
“No,” Aaron said in a slightly breathless voice. He drew in a deep breath. “No,” he repeated more firmly.
The man struck him hard in the face, and Aaron stumbled as blood quickly trickled into his mouth from his bleeding lip. He swallowed hard, blinking against the sting of instinctive tears. He looked up again. Father, help me!
“I will give you one last chance, Aaron Dalvarian, for the Governor very much wishes to keep you alive rather then dead,” the official said through his teeth.
“No,” Aaron said again. “No, I will not do it. No matter the cost, I will not help you. My allegiance has been given to God, and I cannot break that. He too has no middle ground; I am either serving Him completely, or I am against Him.”
The official stepped forward threateningly. Aaron flinched, but didn’t move. The man leaned forward, his eyes dark with hate. “Very well then, Aaron Dalvarian. You have chosen to pit yourself against the Empire and the gods. Therefor, you will die tomorrow at dawn, on the steps of the Pantheon, as is tradition.” He stepped back and nodded to the guard.
The soldier stepped forward and grabbed Aaron, pulling him from the room.
Aaron stumbled along as if in a dream. Nothing seemed real, and he could not force himself to grasp what had happened. It had been so quick… too quick.
They were in the dark hall now, and the guard’s lantern was throwing long shadows along the walls as they walked. “I must say you’re brave,” the guard said. “Or perhaps stupid,” he added with a slight laugh. “You are loyal, surprisingly loyal, to your God. In fact, I do not recall ever seeing one so loyal to the gods before. But perhaps there is something special about yours.” he shrugged. “I don’t think I have ever seen anyone stand up to the Empire like that. But then again, it was a fatal move.” He looked over at Aaron. “You seem to trust your God very much. In fact, you hardly show any fear. I can tell you are afraid, but the fear is always mixed with something else; a look I don’t recall ever seeing. Your God must be very pleased with your loyalty. But tell me, is His pleasure worth getting your throat cut?” His tone was light, almost careless, but the look in his eyes was deadly serious.
Aaron looked up at him, still feeling dazed, as if nothing would ever touch him again. It was a strange feeling of numbness throughout his whole body and mind, yet he could hear and comprehend what the guard said. They were at the cell door now, and two stopped and faced one another. “Is it worth it?” The guard had asked. Aaron smiled slightly. “Yes,” he replied quietly and simply, yet the word was filled with so much more.
The guard stared at him for a moment, and then seemed to shake himself free. He turned and unlocked the door. Aaron stepped in and the door was slammed and locked behind him, but with less of the usual menace.
Aaron sat down on the floor by his things and stared at the window. He didn’t know what to think or do. He had the strangest feeling that he was watching events unfold, but was somehow outside of them. It almost seemed to him that he was in a place where he no longer belonged.
At last, the thought that he should write another letter to Sabina and tell her what had happened, came to mind. Aaron opened the ink and dipped his quill into it. He flipped to a new page and began to write.
My Dearest, Dearest, Darling Sabina,
Tomorrow I am going to die.
No sooner had he penned those words, then Aaron felt as if someone had struck him a crippling blow. He gasped and reeled back. Bracing on his arms he stared wildly at the page, breathing hard in broken jerks. It was not until this moment that it became clear. Before, it had not been real; words with no meaning. But as soon as those words were on paper, it became real.
As one coming up from a long dive in deep water, so Aaron had come to the reality of what had happened, and he was left fighting for breath, terror cutting through him. Aaron covered his face with his hands. “Oh Father God!” he gasped. “Not like this! Must it be like this?” he was shaking now, hardly able to breath.
“Father, does it have to end now?” he asked desperately. “I… I never got to marry Sabina! To hold her, to love her, to experience the joys of having her at my side. We were going to work together for You! Instead of me always alone, she was going to be there to! We… we were going to have children and train them up to walk in your ways! I wanted a child God! I wanted to hold my own child, and bring him up in Your ways! Why does it have to end like this? When I thought of what my future might hold, it was not this. It was working for You, serving You, raising my family to follow You. It was not having my throat slit on some temple steps because I wouldn’t comply with the evil of the Empire!” Aaron scrambled to his feet and stood, gasping for breath.
“Oh Father, is this really what You planned for me? When you knit me together in my mothers womb, when you saved me from the fire, when you sent me here, was this what it was all for? Are You sure this was Your plan, because I don’t want this plan!” He sucked in a breath. “I have always done whatever You called me to do. I have given up so much, and this is what You lead me to! This was the plan You had for me? When You created me, was this what You had in mind? Why me? What have I ever done? You promised to protect me, to be with me, to use all things for the good of those who love You. Well I have loved You! With my whole heart! Is this Your idea of good for me? God I have given You everything, and now You’re going to just give me over into their hands?” Aaron fell to his knees and pounded his fist into the stone floor, anger and fear welling up inside of him, trying to choke the last hope he clung to. “Oh Father, why?” he yelled.
Aaron covered his face with his hands and wept, deep shuddering sobs that shook his whole frame and poured from the depth of his heart. He was young, and life was dear to him. He had only begun to experience it’s fullness, only tasted some of it’s deepest joys, and now he desperately clung to it. He couldn’t let it end here! “Not like this, God!” he cried. “Please, not like this!”
Aaron finally calmed and sat silently, his knees drawn to his chest and his arms wrapped about them. At last, he spoke in a strained, weary voice. “Father, I know that Your ways are higher then mine. Your plans are unknown to me, but they are always perfect. I don’t want to die. There was so much more I wanted to do! I love the life You have given me, and I have found unspeakable joy, even amid the sorrows. Why must it end now?” He closed his eyes and drew in a slow breath. “I don’t know why, but You do. I trust You Father. I trust You, and I will continue trust You to the end. Only hold me close, and give me the strength to bear this last trial; to stand firm, and to die for You. I trust you,” he whispered again. “I trust You, I trust You.”
After some time, Aaron took up the quill and began to write, unsteadily at first, but growing firmer.
Sabina, when I penned those words above, I suddenly realized what they meant. Oh how hard it is to let go! Life seems infinitely dear now that I must loose it. Oh how does one let go of everything? How do I let go of you? I cannot understand how God can use this for the good of any of those who love Him; yet, I trust Him. Oh Sabina, cling to Him. Let my death drive you to the shelter of His wings! I will be safe, and we will be separated for a time, but not forever. We will meet again in a perfect place of glory and joy. We will meet in heaven, and there we will stand face to face with God! The thought gives me a chill, but not one of dread. Oh Sabina! What will it be like? How can one fear with the joy of heaven before him? Yet, I am afraid. Why Sabina? Why do we fear death? David was so close to God, yet his Psalms are filled with pleadings to be rescued from the terror of death. We have the assurance of salvation through Christ, yet I too fear it. But why? What am I afraid of? Is it death? No it cannot be, for I know that death is not the end. Is it pain? Yes, I must admit I am afraid of pain, but it is not just that, for it is a deeper horror-filled fear that strikes me; something that pain could not provoke. Is it the helplessness? Perhaps. I cannot stop thinking of a hunt my father and I went on; the time I took down my first deer. He ran like the wind; majestic, powerful animal. Strong enough to kill me, fast enough to escape. Yet when my arrow struck him, it was over. All the strength and glory left him, and he fell, helpless, bleeding, and then sank into the cold hand of death. Oh Sabina, the horror of that moment! When their blade strikes true, I will fall, all strength gone, fighting for one last breath, but it will never come. Oh Sabina, it makes me shudder. Still, is that all? Perhaps not. Perhaps there is more. Maybe it is the fact that we have seen death–– the death of plants, of animals, of people. We have seen the darkness, the blood, the suffering, the pain, and then the terrible stillness. We believe there is life after death, but we have never seen it. This is the time of faith, for no one has seen eternal life until death takes them. So, I must step forward in faith, taste the bitter sting of death, and believe that it is not the end, but life is there, on the other side. Oh my darling Sabina, I believe! I must believe. Oh Father, help my unbelief! I feel now as I did once, not long after my parents died and I was taken in by my faster father. There was a terrible storm, and I was terrified. We were outside when it hit; so fast that I don’t remember ever seeing it coming. I was frozen with fear, but my father picked me up and ran with me to the house. I clung to him, screaming for him not to let me go, begging him, sobbing wildly “Don’t let me go, don’t let me go!” I didn’t need to, for I was safe in his arms, and he would never have let me go, even if I had not cried out. I feel that way now. I am lost in this storm, and my Father is holding me. All I can do is cling to Him and cry out “Don’t let me go!” and I know He wont. He never will.
Oh dearest, how can I say everything I want to say? It is almost worse knowing my fate then just having it over with. How can I live through this last night? What last words do I say to you? Oh Sabina, cling to Christ, trust in our Heavenly Father. Sabina, do you remember the night we were betrothed? Do you remember how I told you that I could not promise we would be together long, for I felt my life was in danger? Well, I was right, but I could never have guessed how hard it would be to lay down this life for God. I am happy to do so, and I would never try to save my life through compromise. Yet, it is also so, so hard. Especially when I think of you, and of the boys. Oh Sabina, love them! Love them and care for them. So much pain has come to them already. Help them to understand that this is the will of God, and that He loves me deeply and will not leave me, even in this hour. Turn to him in this darkness, Sabina. He alone can comfort and sustain you.
I will now pen a few lines to the others, but I hope to write again one last time.
I love you Sabina.Aaron
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
@ellette-giselle wowwwww! I don’t know what to say. Will he die? will he live?? I must know!!!
also, a good idea would probably be to separate the writing in his letters out with an indent or with centered text as opposed to the normal look:
After some time, Aaron took up the quill and began to write, unsteadily at first, but growing firmer.
Sabina, when I penned those words above, I suddenly realized what they meant. Oh how hard it is to let…..
The italics are good though.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
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