- This topic has 477 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 1 day, 4 hours ago by
.
-
Posts
-
I know I said I was going to leave, but I’m just bored lol!
also, one little issue I have: maybe wait till Sabina’s at least 18? I’m 17 and I wouldn’t marry a guy now even if I knew him very well. My mom got married at 17 but I was under the impression she was the exception.
I agree with Keilah.
I know your story is set in medieval times, so this is “normal” to get married young.
But I don’t like normalizing it, because I think God intended it to be between an adult man and a woman…which means they are mature and old enough to act and think like adults. 17 is NOT an adult!
Even though people acted more mature on the outside back then, there’s no way that that was healthy for them. From personal experience, I’ve felt the weight of expectation so many times and I’m sure it must have sucked to be expected to be perfect and mature and like an adult that young XD XD
Also, when you get married young, it usually doesn’t last…people change so fast and the people I’ve talked to that got married young say that if they could have done it over, they would have married the same person, but waited a LOT longer.
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Also, when you get married young, it usually doesn’t last…people change so fast and the people I’ve talked to that got married young say that if they could have done it over, they would have married the same person, but waited a LOT longer.
this is completely untrue and is a lie our society wants us to swallow.
as for the age, PEOPLE DID NOT LIVE long enough to wait! And there was no reason to!
also, please show me in the Bible where it says God wants us the wait until we’re older to marry.
It is a new thing that a 17 year old is not an adult.
i see what your saying. I’ll cut out having the whole passage in there. And the thing about the time.
im glad you enjoyed it.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
Okay okay okay
Nevermind
XD
That’s just my personal opinion lol. I’m not saying you should do that, I was just saying how I feel. I don’t know…I just really really hate the idea of people getting married young, and I’m not sure why. So you do what you want with your story! See, this is why I need to stop looking at your book because I really always say things that aren’t helpful and seem to confuse everybody lol…I will shut up after this conversation lol I PROMISE
Why do you say that it’s a lie? I’ve talked to so many Christians and read a lot of Christian books on dating and it IS true that in today’s society, getting married young doesn’t usually last. Yes, it IS possible, if you find the person God has for you early on, and if God calls you to do that. But it’s not a LIE that getting married young is not usually the best thing for people (today, at least).
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333well I’ve read a TON of books about Christian marriages and Biblical courtship/dating and I have never read that! Plus, I have witnessed a TON of beautiful marriages that started very young and have gone on for years!
look. Marriage is permanent. I don’t know why you keep saying it doesn’t last when you start young. I don’t care how old you are, when you get married you are married. There is no braking up and no divorce. That’s just not an option.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
@savannah_grace2009 @ellette-giselle
I’m not here for critique. I’m just here bc this is an interesting discussion, and I know a friend of a friend who’s getting married soon so it’s on my mind.
Whether or not the marriage lasts, it’s important to have a healthy relationship with your partner. If the marriage lasts but it is a bad relationship, I would say it was a bad decision to get married.
this is completely untrue and is a lie our society wants us to swallow.
Sara literally just said she knows people who told her this 😖 I personally wouldn’t discredit their testimonies. Also, the world wants teens to have ***. Just look around.
It is a new thing that a 17 year old is not an adult.
What do you mean?? It has been revealed, through scientific study, that a 17 year old has never been an adult.
The teen brain develops A LOT up till 25. Ellette, this is scientifically proven. When you are 17, you have different priorities and a different level of emotional knowledge than when you reach adulthood. It isn’t about what time period you’re in, or what region of the world you belong in. It is literally part of your brain chemicals.
While maturity and responsibility can to a degree be taught, most of it comes from actual physical and mental development which IS a thing. God created us that way. We can see that by observing the human brain, which he created. He wouldn’t create it differently from what he wanted.
It is possible to have a healthy marriage at a young age. You can do it. It is just hard to have a good one, and there are more open doors for issues. Both partners need to know everything possible before committing to this.
There is no braking up and no divorce. That’s just not an option.
Um, that is still an option. It certainly isn’t great, it’s horrible. But you know what else is horrible? Being unable to escape a strained relationship that has no sign of improving. Because you didn’t know at 17 that you would develop different values from your partner.
There are also practical reasons. You need a job, a home, a good grasp on being a parent, for heaven’s sake!!! I have been raised in a positive realm for children, but I would never risk having a child at my age.
I hate to say this on this forum, but there’s also the physical act of intimacy which needs to be discussed. A part of your teenage life is learning to have control over yourself. Letting yourself engage in intimacy as a teen, although in the bonds of marriage, may be unwise. It may loosen your grasp on your own emotions and lead to regretful actions.
It is incredibly concerning to me that teens are getting hooked up so young.
The Bible doesn’t mention age of marriage. But I think God wanted us to use common sense.
“Everything is a mountain”
I’m sorry for barging in like this. But relationships can literally die over this.
“Everything is a mountain”
well I’ve read a TON of books about Christian marriages and Biblical courtship/dating and I have never read that! Plus, I have witnessed a TON of beautiful marriages that started very young and have gone on for years!
Okay. I’m sorry if I’ve offended you! I’m just telling you my perspective.
I’m not saying that ALL young marriages end, or that they are BAD. I’m saying that MOST of the time in our world today, it’s not the best idea. There are ALWAYS exceptions! I have witnessed a lot of divorce in my life and hurting because of people getting married too young.
My grandma was the person who told me if she would have done it over, she would have waited.
She and Grandpa were both young and they went through a LOT of heartbreak and pain in their marriage because they got married young. When you’re younger, like Whaley said, your brain hasn’t finished developing and things can go horribly wrong. Thank goodness my grandparents worked through it and now their marriage is strong! But I’m saying that they have told me that they would have waited had they done it over.
look. Marriage is permanent. I don’t know why you keep saying it doesn’t last when you start young. I don’t care how old you are, when you get married you are married. There is no braking up and no divorce. That’s just not an option.
yes it is an option.
Tell that to all my friends who have been hurt by divorce, the broken families in my church that cry during the service because their parents aren’t together anymore!
Tell that to the couples…the CHRISTIAN couples that I know that have gotten divorced!
Divorce is REAL. Even if you’re a Christian, things can happen and you can still get divorced.
yes. It hurts! But it is real! Nowadays, marriage doesn’t last. It’s normal to get married and divorced, and it breaks my heart.
Marriage should be permanent.
But it isn’t. Not anymore. Even in Bible times, there was divorce. It hurts, but the truth is, we have taken God’s design and twisted it into something sinful.
That’s why when you start younger (SO MANY CHRISTIAN PEOPLE I TRUST HAVE TOLD ME THIS!) your values can change! People change! What if the guy you love with everything in you changes, rejects God, turns to alcohol and abuses you?! You SHOULD divorce him, because God would never want you to stay in an abusive relationship!
I didn’t mean for this to blow up, honestly.
I didn’t mean to offend you.
I apologize if that is what I have done…I was seriously just trying to tell you my thoughts and opinions! I wasn’t even necessarily critiquing your book, I just find this topic interesting to discuss 😅😅
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Whether or not the marriage lasts, it’s important to have a healthy relationship with your partner. If the marriage lasts but it is a bad relationship, I would say it was a bad decision to get married.
Yes! I feel the same way!
It is possible to have a healthy marriage at a young age. You can do it. It is just hard to have a good one, and there are more open doors for issues. Both partners need to know everything possible before committing to this.
Whaley you need to be a thought translator! (I read a post where you were talking about this to someone…forgot who, just remember thinking YES THAT SHOULD BE A THING!)
Exactly. It’s possible, just more difficult.
Um, that is still an option. It certainly isn’t great, it’s horrible. But you know what else is horrible? Being unable to escape a strained relationship that has no sign of improving. Because you didn’t know at 17 that you would develop different values from your partner.
I second that, lol
It is incredibly concerning to me that teens are getting hooked up so young.
Yes…idk why we’re normalizing this! It’s so bad and I hate it…we have to grow up in such a messed up world!
The Bible doesn’t mention age of marriage. But I think God wanted us to use common sense.
That’s kind of what I meant too. I just have a bad way of communicating what I mean XDXD
THANK YOU WHALEY you literally are spot on what I’m trying to say!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333look you two. I do not believe the way you do, and that’s not going to change.
I think this needs to end.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
@whalekeeper @savannah_grace2009 @ellette-giselle WHOA WHOA WHOA I DID NOT MEAN TO START A FIGHT.
I’m more inclined to agree with Whaley and Sara’s point of view out of personal experience, but it’s Ellette’s story, and she can do whatever she wants. It’s just as someone who’s closer to 18 than 17, it was weird to me that Sabina’s considering marriage already and she only just turned 17.
Honestly, Ellette, I’m fine with it, and you’re not like wrong or anything for including it in the story especially considering the medieval type setting and the different culture the story has, but maybe just rewrite it to say “she was 17” rather than “she just turned 17,” because if I were her and I’d just had a birthday, I’d still feel 16 for a while, and I feel like 16 is an even worse age to consider marriage.
If you’re okay with sharing and are allowed to, how old are you exactly? I asked Sara the same thing when she wrote a villain character doing a very dark thing to another character. It helps me gauge whether I’ve overreacted to a fellow 17-year-old or a 20-year-old writing a teenager getting married, which I would be perfectly okay with because I know you could easily be married or at least engaged yourself, or I should genuinely be a little concerned because a 14-year-old is writing things she hasn’t experienced yet. If anything, you can just say you’re younger/older than me.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
Again, it’s your story, you can do whatever you want, I’m not going to stop reading it just because of a character’s age.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
I’m not in any way trying to get you to believe how I believe! You don’t have to accept anything we’re saying…and I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. I think me and Whaley just like talking about stuff like this and we just saw this as an interesting topic to discuss.
It’s okay if you want to end it and I’m not going to pressure you to keep talking about this, but I do have a question.
I think what I’m trying to ask, is what don’t you agree with in what we’ve said and why don’t you believe it? I’m not trying to be judgmental, I just like listening to other perspectives and this whole conversation intrigues me XD It’s okay if you don’t want to say, I’m just kind of wondering if somehow I miscommunicated? And I really hate conflict so I think part of me just wants to fix anything I might have said wrong in this conversation. I just want to know what I said or where I did wrong so I can apologize and make amends because the last thing I want is hard feelings between anyone on KP, especially if it’s because of something I said!
As far as I can tell, what we’ve said aligns with the Bible, and everything I’ve said is an echo of what I’ve witnessed firsthand and what my parents have taught me and what I feel God is speaking over my life…and I’m sorry if in any way I made you upset or offended…I was just trying to say what I felt God telling me to say on this thread, and I’m sure Whaley feels the same way.
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333WHOA WHOA WHOA I DID NOT MEAN TO START A FIGHT.
Yeah that’s what I’m feeling too…XD I feel like actually horrible :/
but it’s Ellette’s story, and she can do whatever she wants.
I second that.
I wasn’t attacking your story or telling you you should change it…I just wanted to discuss this a little bit because I love conversations like this! And I also agreed with Keilah so I wanted to explain a little why I did.
Again, it’s your story, you can do whatever you want, I’m not going to stop reading it just because of a character’s age.
I feel the same way!!!
Ellette, Your story is fine! I just wanted to explain my values a little bit, and it’s not really connected to your story, I just wanted to kind of explain why I think a lot of people on KP feel that way about the whole “getting married young” thing
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333@savannah_grace2009 @whalekeeper @ellette-giselle I feel like this story forum isn’t the best place for that though.
I think one of you should tag the others in a status update and go at it there. Discussing it here is just gonna ruin the experience of anyone who’s just trying to read the story and has to sift through 3 pages of arguing about a girl’s age.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.