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We do NOT want a solution. In fact, we often hate the idea of a solution because then we feel like you guys are just viewing us as a problem to be fixed.
This makes no sense to me.
Have you ever seen the video “It’s Not About The Nail.” ?
That was on my mind as I was typing up my response.
Yeah, that could work……. Do you think it would seem really…. I don’t know. Weird. I mean, if I asked any of the guys from church, or even my brothers for that matter, a question like this, they would look at me like I was crazy. Do you think it’s different since all of us are authors? I don’t want to violate any unspoken rules of conduct. lol.
I think it is a little weird since we are all authors. I would like to know more of how girls think for my female characters. If you would like, I could start a form for this with an intro and you could post your question.
Does that help you get a young BEARDLESS Turin in your mind?
…
I think I managed to get that image out of my head after you posted the initial artwork.
This makes no sense to me.
What?!?! *Face-palm. takes deep breath and looks at you. puts on very patient voice* How is this not extremely logical and the ONLY right way of thinking!
lololol.
That was on my mind as I was typing up my response.
Haha! I love that video. (And I may or may not go red every time I see it.)
I would like to know more of how girls think for my female characters. If you would like, I could start a form for this with an intro and you could post your question.
Sure, sounds great. If the forum backfires blame it all on me. haha! (Besides, you know more tags then I do. For the longest time I thought you were the only guy on here, and then I discovered there’s a fella named Jonas. That’s about it.)
I think I managed to get that image out of my head after you posted the initial artwork.
Good.
Sheesh, you almost gave me a heart-attack when you told me your idea of him.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
@ellette-giselle @linus-smallprint
*Comes back to an interesting conversation*
Okay, I actually have input for this.
Linus:
I hear when girls are upset, you want to just simply talk about it and how you feel. When I rant about my problems, I am not looking for someone to sympathize with me (even if I think I am). I am looking for a solution. Something to take the problem away. I want the person I am talking to do something about my source of anger or tell me how to deal with it. I’m not sure if this makes sense to you, or if I have you girls right here, but this is my understanding of the way things are.
Ellette:
Someone is SPOT ON! You guys and your solutions! Why must everything have to be fixed!? lol. We girls just want to be cuddled and sympathized with. We do NOT want a solution. In fact, we often hate the idea of a solution because then we feel like you guys are just viewing us as a problem to be fixed. We don’t like that. haha! Have you ever seen the video “It’s Not About The Nail.” ? If you haven’t, i think you would get a kick out of it.
Okay okay but I relate with both of you. (I am a girl, just to be clear.)
While I am more emotional objectively than Linus, being a girl teen and all, I do not like sharing my feelings or even physically expressing them through tears. I am an extremely private person and I do not like to look for sympathy from anybody; it makes me feel guilty. I tend to cry in private.
One side of me would like to be comforted, but another side of me also wants to find a solution to my emotional problem without going to anybody. I look outside of myself and at my emotions, as if looking at someone else, so I don’t have to feel anything.
Yes, this is a coping mechanism, but even at the healthiest of times, I tend to both have emotions and analyze them from afar to look for solutions. It’s a very weird feeling tbh. I think it’s my way of being emotionally aware.
So yeah XD In conclusion I think girls and guys are different mentally, but the line can be blurred depending on the individual.
“Everything is a mountain”
I know about maybe ten guys on here, and one of them knows me irl. So don’t worry, it isn’t just Linus and Jonas 😂
“Everything is a mountain”
Like I don’t just feel the emotions by themselves, I deal with them analytically.
“Everything is a mountain”
None of that makes sense! haha! I can’t understand how you do that. I guess there are some blurred lines here and there. lol
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
I will go start a form for this discussion and tag you both, along with some other people. Feel free to tag anyone I miss to it.
Whaley:
So yeah XD In conclusion I think girls and guys are different mentally, but the line can be blurred depending on the individual.
And that is why answering this question is hard.
AWESOME!
And that is why answering this question is hard.
No kidding!
@keilah-h @theshadow @whalekeeperOk, I have the next section, but before I go on I would like some feedback on the beginning stages of Aaron’s reaction to his grief.
That night, men and boys slowly trickled back to the large building. The Imperial soldiers had let everyone go home after disarming them. They were not afraid of a rebellion, for there were far to few left to fight, and those who had survived were far too spent. Many were reunited, but even more had to learn the terrible truth of a loved one’s death.
Aaron was sitting alone by the dead fire. The people whispered in little groups around him, and he could feel their sorrow and fear hanging over everything. Noah was pacing back and forth, and Darrien leaned against the wall, his head in his hands. At last, Noah stopped in front of Aaron and spoke. “We can’t just leave them.”
Aaron slowly looked up. “What?”
“Turin, Prince Edwin… and all the rest. They’re just out there in the street, and God knows what those soldiers will do with them.”
Aaron looked away. “They’re dead, Noah. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
Noah clenched and unclenched his fists. “It does to me.” He turned and walked over to Darrien, but Aaron didn’t care. He slipped back into his own silent despair. The scenes from the battle played over and over in his mind, and he couldn’t block them out. Where were you, God? Where were you?
It was a little while later when Aaron stood up. He didn’t know where he was going, but he needed to get away from everyone. He stepped out into the hall and nearly ran into one of the village lads. “Oh, I’m sorry Aaron. I didn’t expect to see you,” the boy said. “I thought you were with the others.”
“What others?” asked Aaron.
“Darrien and Noah.”
Aaron looked around. “No. Why?”
“They went to speak to the Imperial Soldiers about the slain.”
Aaron spun to face him. “What?”
“They went to speak to the soldiers. I thought you knew,” repeated the boy.
Aaron pushed passed him and hurried outside. When he stepped into the streets he was almost instantly drenched by the heavily falling rain. Darrien and Noah were nowhere in sight. Aaron slammed a fist against the wall. Oh God, don’t you dare let them get killed! Aaron turned away and stared down the silent streets. Where are they? Those rash fools! They’re going to get themselves killed.
Aaron sat down on the front step and wrapped his arms about himself, shivering in the cold rain. “God, why did you let it happen?” he whispered. “Where were You when Turin was bleeding to death in the streets? Where were You when Edwin was taunted by the soldiers? Where were You when they shot him? Where were You when we lost the city? With his last breath Edwin cried out that You had not failed him and never would. Why do I feel like You have failed us? Why are You silent?”
Aaron bowed his head, a few tears mixing with the rain that streaked his face. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he heard running steps splashing through the street. Aaron started and looked up. Two figures were moving through the heavy rain, and as they drew near Aaron made out their faces. Aaron leapt to his feet. “Noah! Darrien!”
Noah lifted a hand.
Aaron wasn’t sure if he should yell at them our thank God that they were safe.
“Aaron, we spoke with the soldiers,” said Noah, as they came to a stop.
“And?”
“They’ll relinquish the soldiers, but not the prince.”
Aaron nodded slowly, wondering why a chill was going down his spine.
“We have until dark. We have to hurry,” spoke up Darrien.
Aaron nodded and took a deep breath. “Alright, we’ll tell the others.”
It wasn’t long before the men and boys strong enough to help came outside. Several women and children followed, and Aaron spotted Sabina, a cloak wrapped about her shoulders. She was holding Joseph’s hand, and Aaron looked at the child sorrowfully. His father had not returned from the fighting.
The small band made their way through the streets toward the gates. Darrien had gone to spread the word, and when they arrived they found many other already there, and several men at work.
Aaron gently picked up Joseph and pressed the boy’s face against his shoulder. “Don’t look,” he whispered.
Several Imperial soldiers appeared and made their way toward the group. Aaron shivered when he saw them. Maybe this is some sort of trap! He held Joseph closer, determined that no harm would befall the boy.
The soldiers stopped and spoke to Noah and Darrien. Noah was nodding and gesturing toward the gate. The soldiers looked that way and then one shrugged. Another turned and walked away. Noah said something to the remaining soldiers and they nodded.
Darrien broke away and walked toward Aaron. When he was close enough, Aaron spoke. “What’s going on?”
“We’re to be kept under heavy guard while we’re out there,” replied Darrien. He took off his cloak and pulled it across Aaron’s shoulders.
“What are you doing?” asked Aaron.
“They’re already on edge. I think it’s best a foreigner wasn’t seen.” replied Darrien, yanking the hood low ever Aaron’s face.
Aaron gathered several folds of the cloak and pulled it over Joseph. “Thank you.”
Darrien nodded and turned away.
A horse rode into the crowd and Aaron looked up to see an Imperial Lieutenant. The young man raised an arm and the people fell silent, looking up at him uneasily.
“You have been granted permission to see to your dead,” the Lieutenant began. “I and my men will watch you the whole time. You have until dark. When we order you to come, you will obey. If anyone tries to run, I will order my men to open fire on you all.”
Aaron glanced at the soldiers who were loading their crossbows.
“Is that understood?” demanded the officer.
The people nodded.
Noah came to Aaron’s side. “We had better get moving, and pray none of the young men do anything rash.”
Then next few hours were the most terrible Aaron had ever experienced as he moved through the sight of Ardenta’s last battle. Outside the city walls, graves were dug, and the fallen were laid to rest. Aaron was just filling in a grave when two young men carried Turin to the field. Sabina looked up, and all the color drained from her face. She stepped forward, and the two who were carrying her brother laid him in the grass and stepped back. Sabina fell to her knees and held Turin’s hand in her own. A shuddering sob tore through her and she lowered her head. Wrapping her arms about Turin, she held him tightly against her and wept softly.
Aaron’s fingers tightened around the wooden handle of his shovel. He tried to swallow, but couldn’t. Across the field, a girl screamed. Aaron looked up in time to see her fall across her young lover who had been slain on the walls. A little beyond her, a father was tearfully laying two sons to rest. Aaron closed his eyes and turned away. He wanted to run and never look back. He couldn’t stand the pain and grief around him.
Aaron heard a cry and looked up in time to see Joseph running toward a fallen soldier. The boy threw himself down in the grass and pressed his face against the man’s chest, sobbing wildly.
Aaron’s eyes flooded with tears and he clenched his fists. Oh God help us! Please don’t leave us! I can’t find You in all of this! Where are You?
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
Can I get some of those Ten guy’s tags from ya? 😀
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
I think this is working well. Aaron had already started down the path of doubt, and the death of his friend and the Prince is now sending him tumbling down it faster. But his faith is still there, and that is good because it always should be there even if it seems fragile in a sea of doubts. While he is angry at God, he still looks to Him for help.
Awesome! Thanks you! Glad this is coming off realistic.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
These are guys I can remember at the moment. (Sorry if any people didn’t want to be tagged)
@calyhuge @thearcaneaxiom @folith-feolin @otherworldlyhistorianEllette would love some feedback on the scene above, It is about a male character in grief, and it’s mostly troubleshooting at this point.
“Everything is a mountain”
I do feel uncertain about killing off Edwin and Turin. I understand Edwin, but both guys? It feels like half the cast has died and there isn’t much left in terms of motivation for the reader.
Reading the earlier chapters, I expected Aaron and Turin to develop a friendship which would become a staple of the book until at least the last chapters. Now that Turin is dead, the status quo feels destroyed before it even solidified itself.
How much of the story is left? If there is lots left, I would either bring Turin back, or create friendships between Aaron and other characters before the fight (since his relationships with Sabina, Noah and the other guy haven’t been developed yet).
I wish Edwin was still alive, but I don’t feel too sorry for Turin. I would like to feel bad. Honestly he just needs a distinctive personality and role in Aaron’s life. He’s in the best friend role but there aren’t any scenes where Aaron and Turin have fun together. If you added those things, that might help.
Aaron’s emotional reaction looks perfect. At least from my female perspective 😂 He is privately emotional which makes sense for his personality. I like how all his perfect plans for a Christian victory are ruined.
“Everything is a mountain”
But Turin and Edwin died.
I’m just telling the story.
lol.
We’re a good two-thirds (?) through.
I’m not gonna change what happened to them. That would change the whole story!
I’ll look back and try to add some fun scenes with Turin and Aaron…. if I can find an appropriate place.
Glad he’s reacting well.
I like how all his perfect plans for a Christian victory are ruined.
Haha, that sounds a little evil. lol. I know what you mean tho.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
But Turin and Edwin died.
I’m just telling the story.
lol.
I knooow, I’m sorry for questioning the fabric of the story 😂😅 But I think we can all agree that these stories come from our minds, and sometimes we need to adjust our inventions. I’m not saying you have to change their deaths, I’m pointing out how I as the reader feel about it. Like, I would question how Turin’s permanent death benefits the story.
I’ll look back and try to add some fun scenes with Turin and Aaron…. if I can find an appropriate place.
That’s good. Friendship development is always good.
Haha, that sounds a little evil. lol. I know what you mean tho.
Yeah, it’s perfect because Aaron is such a blind idealist 😂 It’s a good test for him.
“Everything is a mountain”
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