Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Idea Critiques › WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy
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August 6, 2024 at 12:24 pm #184172
Thanks for the thoughts! I’ll definitely try to work that in.
Yw!
AHHH!!! I forgot to tag people on this new section! I was wondering why no one said anything!!! I’ll just re-post this whole thing.
You’re alright, I still get notifs by email even when people don’t tag me. I read it 👍
“Everything is a mountain”
August 6, 2024 at 12:25 pm #184173Also, your drawings of the characters are great!
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
August 6, 2024 at 12:26 pm #184174Also, anyone interested in character aesthetics?
Sorry, I’m not sure extatically sure what this means.
August 6, 2024 at 12:34 pm #184180Ok, I have never had anyone say this to me before, and a lot of (very picky) people have read it. I think i might leave it alone, because the majority of my readers are fine with it, and I have also read many books that do this and have never had any complaint with them.
Sorry, I’m not sure extatically sure what this means.
Might just be best to show you…… it’s basically a collection of images pulled off the internet that have things to do with your character or look like him/her. And also things that relate to your character. So, you should be able to get a feel for the character just by looking.
No problem. Thanks for the feedback! Oh, yeah, I’ll fix that sentence
Glad you like the drawings!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 6, 2024 at 12:38 pm #184184I think i might leave it alone, because the majority of my readers are fine with it, and I have also read many books that do this and have never had any complaint with them.
Okay, that’s fine then.
Might just be best to show you…… it’s basically a collection of images pulled off the internet that have things to do with your character or look like him/her. And also things that relate to your character. So, you should be able to get a feel for the character just by looking.
Ah, so basically a mood board. Sure, you could share that.
August 6, 2024 at 12:47 pm #184187Thanks for understanding. I just feel like all that would be too overwhelming and confusing for me. Ya know. I kinda liked how I had the setup.
Yeah, kinda like a mood board.
Here is Turin y’all!!!
What! NO!!!! PICTURES ARE BROKEN AGAIN!!!!!! ACK!!
Ok, here is a view link then………..
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 6, 2024 at 3:52 pm #184196The mood board looks so good!!
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
August 7, 2024 at 8:11 am #184203Ugh. It’s broken.
Let’s try this again and see if this’ll send.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 7, 2024 at 8:14 am #184204hmmmmm, strange. It worked. Then why has it been eating the posts every time I tag people………….
Let’s see if this works.
Thank you! I’m glad you liked it!!
Here are Aaron and Sabina
@whalekeeper @keilah-h @linus-smallprintMan is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 7, 2024 at 8:16 am #184205HA!! It worked!!!
@whalekeeper @keilah-h @linus-smallprint @theshadowOk, here’s whoever I didn’t just send.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 7, 2024 at 8:20 am #184206K, Linus, I have a question for you since you’re the guy on here, (though the girl’s can answer if they want)
What would you like to see happen next with Aaron? I’m not talking about Physically as much as emotionally and spiritually. I had a few different ideas in my notes, and his “post-battle” “post-death-scenes” recovery is different in every draft! Sooooo, I thought I would ask you A.) how do guys react to what happened out there? (I hear it’s normally with anger……..?) and B.) What seems the most logical response to you given what you know of Aaron?
Am I making any sense? Hopefully the above paragraph was understandable…….. lol.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 7, 2024 at 11:09 am #184209Hm…
Of course, every guy is different, so it is a little tricky to answer this question. I have thankfully never lost a friend or family member who is close to me, so I am not even entirely sure how I would respond, but I do have my guesses. I would likely be upset with what happened, but I am not a very emotional person. I know both my dad and my brother (who is 14 in two weeks) are both more emotional than I am. The only times I can recall crying after reading or watching something were not because I was sad (though I have grown close to it), but because I got freaked out by something. If I were to lose someone close to me, I likely would not be as emotional as I would think I should be, and that would turn into frustration at myself. If my brother were to accuse me of not caring (which might actually happen), I would get even more frustrated because I would want to care more, but find myself unable to. This in turn may lead to me expressing myself in anger (and yes, I think anger is a common reaction for guys). I hope that knowing this will help me deal with it when something does come.
But, as we have already stated, I am not Aaron. (And again, I encourage you to ask other guys about it. We should start a forum on here for questions on how the opposite gender thinks unless there is one.) From what you have told us in your story, Aaron has already gone through some loss, with his biological family gone and his adoptive family being currently unreachable. This may help him adjust somewhat, but with what he is currently going through with his trust in God, that may change things. You have set him up to blame God for this. Maybe he does not go that far, but he will get close. Maybe he wonders why he must be separated from those who are close to him, the loss of his family piling up on the loss of his friend. I think though, that he will not be able to deal with this completely by himself. He will need a mentor figure (Sabina (though she is grieving as well now), Noah, or Darian could work). The mentor will have to help guide him back to the truth and Aaron will have to overcome his pride of being the ‘missionary who should know more than the people he brings the Gospel to’ and listen to the mentor. (This pride will likely be a source of frustration to him. He will be angry about his own doubts and when seeing stronger faith in others, become discouraged. Aaron may also wonder if he really is a Christian himself, especially if he catches himself trying to blame God for Edwin and Turin’s deaths.) So the emotions I see emerging the strongest from Aaron right now are stubbornness, jealousy, and frustration.
That’s all I got for now. I hope this is helpful.
August 7, 2024 at 11:17 am #184210First off, you guys are like alien creatures. None of these things you listed would be NEAR my response!! I would cry and want to talk to people and be held, and probably bury myself in writing or books if I was responding badly. haha!! I think it’s so funny how differently we think and react.
Yeah, that sounds like a good forum idea. lol. We should should start one like that!
(Except none of the other guys know Aaron’s character. lol)
Thank you so much for the help. I never even tho0ught of the pride about being the missionary idea! That doesn’t even make sense to me in that circumstance. haha! I could see how it really does make sense for him though.
This was super helpful. Thanks!
btw, did you get a chance to look at the aesthetics?
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 7, 2024 at 11:33 am #184211So the emotions I see emerging the strongest from Aaron right now are stubbornness, jealousy, and frustration.
I should clarify, that these are more of the negative emotions. There will be grief in there as well.
Another thought. Different guys have different ways of expressing anger. Some punch things, some start accusing others of things, some start making sarcastic remarks and complaining, and some, like me, keep it more to ourselves. I think, from what you have shared with Aaron, he may deal with his anger in a similar way to how I do. So far, he has tried to keep a lot of how he feels about his doubts to himself. He may snap at some people (I do that sometimes), but he also may hold a lot of his anger back to himself, and it emerges more when he is alone. Instead of punching things, I tend to get stuck in a storm of angry thoughts, one that is hard to escape even if I try to suppress it. I would expect Turin to start punching things, but not Aaron.
Eventually, someone may find me and (after being pressed to) I may give them a rant about how I feel. I think this is one major difference between guys and girls. I hear when girls are upset, you want to just simply talk about it and how you feel. When I rant about my problems, I am not looking for someone to sympathize with me (even if I think I am). I am looking for a solution. Something to take the problem away. I want the person I am talking to do something about my source of anger or tell me how to deal with it. I’m not sure if this makes sense to you, or if I have you girls right here, but this is my understanding of the way things are.
Yeah, that sounds like a good forum idea. lol. We should should start one like that!
(Except none of the other guys know Aaron’s character. lol)
Just give enough context for Aaron so that they understand somewhat and can respond properly.
btw, did you get a chance to look at the aesthetics?
Yes, they look good. The link to your Turin one started returning a 404 error, but I did see it before it did that. They do give a sense of each character, and I think some spoilers as well (I’m referring to the image on Aaron’s depicting the silhouette of a man and woman dancing.).
August 7, 2024 at 11:47 am #184212I would expect Turin to start punching things, but not Aaron.
Exactly. That’s what I was thinking too!
I hear when girls are upset, you want to just simply talk about it and how you feel. When I rant about my problems, I am not looking for someone to sympathize with me (even if I think I am). I am looking for a solution. Something to take the problem away. I want the person I am talking to do something about my source of anger or tell me how to deal with it. I’m not sure if this makes sense to you, or if I have you girls right here, but this is my understanding of the way things are.
Someone is SPOT ON! You guys and your solutions! Why must everything have to be fixed!? lol. We girls just want to be cuddled and sympathized with. We do NOT want a solution. In fact, we often hate the idea of a solution because then we feel like you guys are just viewing us as a problem to be fixed. We don’t like that. haha! Have you ever seen the video “It’s Not About The Nail.” ? If you haven’t, i think you would get a kick out of it.
Just give enough context for Aaron so that they understand somewhat and can respond properly.
Yeah, that could work……. Do you think it would seem really…. I don’t know. Weird. I mean, if I asked any of the guys from church, or even my brothers for that matter, a question like this, they would look at me like I was crazy. Do you think it’s different since all of us are authors? I don’t want to violate any unspoken rules of conduct. lol.
The link to your Turin one started returning a 404 error,
Huh. Wonder why. Maybe the link time ran out……..?
Does that help you get a young BEARDLESS Turin in your mind?
They do give a sense of each character, and I think some spoilers as well (I’m referring to the image on Aaron’s depicting the silhouette of a man and woman dancing.).
Ah, but is that reality or not? I mean, he’s certainly not holding stars in real life, nor is he drowning. etc. etc.
Several of those pictures convey thoughts, emotions, or dreams.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
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