Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Idea Critiques › WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy
- This topic has 494 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 1 day ago by Keilah H..
-
AuthorPosts
-
August 1, 2024 at 12:20 pm #184043
Ack! Awkward romantic moments!
Tell me straight that guys never noticed a girl is pretty. lol.
It’s realistic, and it could have been far worse. My aim is to keep any romance clean and God honoring.
Here’s some more I finished editing up. I’m still working on the rest, but I thought I might as well share what I have. There would not normally be a brake between this section and the one I’m working on though.
The next night passed in more defense as the Imperial soldiers chanted war songs and launched flaming projectiles over the wall. Volleys of arrows were exchanged now and then, but Turin began calling his archers off. Fletchers worked day and night to supply them with shafts, but there was only so much wood in the city. The arrows would run out. Along with everything else, thought Aaron.
That morning Aaron didn’t even noticed that the prince had joined them again. He led a time of prayer, but Aaron’s mind was not on what he said. He was thinking of the dwindling supplies, and of what Turin had said that afternoon. “They’re braking us…”
Aaron opened his Bible to the psalms and began to read. His mouth formed the words, but his mind didn’t take them in. He just read and read, and the people listened in silence.
After what must have been two hours, Aaron began to bring his reading to a close. After the last verse of the current passage he closed the book and stood in silence. A sound came from the far end of the room, and Aaron looked up. The prince was on his feet, and Aaron watched as the young royal took of his sword belt and cloak. He moved forward, and the crowd parted around him. Coming to the edge of the water, the prince stopped. “I believe what you have read is true, and I believe the words you spoke yesterday morning were also true. I am ready to make your God my own.”
Aaron looked at him in astonishment for a full minute. He could almost hear a smile in the words that came to his mind; My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts
Aaron dropped down into the water, and the prince did likewise. They met in the middle, and when Aaron looked up at the royal he saw how very young he really was. He could not have been older then sixteen. The boy smiled at Aaron, a new light of hope replacing the despair on his face.
There, before his people, the young prince confessed his faith in Christ and Aaron baptized him. It was a moment Aaron knew he would never forget. A few moments before he had been slipping into despair, and God merely smiled gently and showed his young son who was still in control, and who was working even in the midst of the darkness that surrounded them.
After the prince was baptized, several of his officers and three of his personal guard came forward. Aaron was almost overwhelmed by the response of the people that morning, and his doubt was once again driven from his mind, though it did not leave him. Rather, it remained buried, waiting for an opportunity to strike.
After the last of the people had gone, Aaron climbed out of the water and Found his three friends waiting for him, along with Sabina who had come that morning to listen. Noah slapped Aaron’s shoulder and Darrien grinned at him. “We may be stubborn, but once we make up our mind to something we stick to it.”
Aaron laughed and looked at Turin. “Believe me, I know.”
Turin smiled and wrapped an arm about Sabina’s shoulders. Steps sounded behind them, and the five turned to see the prints, still dripping wet. Two of his guards hovered in the background, eyes alert and hands hovering near their weapons.
The friends gave quick, respectful bows to the prince. “Your highness, can I do something for you?” asked Aaron.
“I just wanted to say thank you,” smiled the prince. He pulled off his right glove and offered his hand. Aaron hesitated a moment, a look of surprise crossing his face. Then, he shook the prince’s hand. “It’s good to finally meet you,” he said, with a smile.
“But you haven’t met someone if you don’t know their name,” chuckled the prince. “My name is Edwin.”
“Aaron Dalvarian,” replied Aaron.
Prince Edwin turned to Noah and Darrien, and the two introduced themselves, their eyes wide with shock. Then Edwin faced Turin. “Ah, I know who you are. You must be Turin, the warrior who has held my northern wall and faced, what I hear, may be the brunt of the Empire’s attack. I am in your debt, Sir Warrior.”
Turin’s ears had gone red, but he was smiling widely. “Thank you, your highness, but it has only been through God’s strength that I have held the wall.”
The Prince nodded reverently and then offered his hand. Turin shook it, and Aaron wasn’t sure if his face could get any redder or his smile any wider. Then Edwin turned to Sabina. “Fair maiden, in who’s presence do I have the honor of standing.”
Sabina blushed but did not look away. “My name is Sabina. Turin is my brother.”
“Then you have been truly blessed,” said Edwin. He gallantly kissed her knuckles and then straightened and turned back to Aaron. “Aaron, is there any way I or anyone under my command could help you?”
“I don’t believe so,” replied Aaron. “Turin knows more what is needed on the walls.”
“I meant help you in your spread of the precious truth,” replied Edwin.
Aaron began to shake his head, but Noah spoke. “If I may?”
“Of course,” encouraged the Prince. “Darrien and I have been working with some of the meany to make copies of the Word of God, but with the fighting ever night we have fallen to a slow pace.”
“Give me a completed copy, and I will set my royal scribes to it at once,” replied the Prince.
***
That night, Aaron took his Bible and a candle and slipped out into the street. Separating their building from the one beside them was a steep set of stone stairs. Aaron ascended these and stepped out onto the roof. Setting down his candle, he sat crosslegged and flipped through the bible, reading quietly to himself. He knew any moment now the alarm would be sounded and he would have to run to the wall for another attack, but he needed some time alone with God. He read several passages and then closed the Bible. Stretching out his legs and leaning back on braced arms, he stared up at the bright stars; diamonds on black velvet. The whole city was silent, sleeping while it could–– the calm before the nightly storm.
A light breeze blew through Aaron’s hair and softly stroked his face and bare arms. He smiled and closed his eyes, breathing in the summer night. Drawing one leg up he rested his arm on his knee. All around him was peace. The city was dark, save for the flicker of the watchmen’s lanterns on the wall. From here we couldn’t see the enemy camp beyond the walls, and Aaron could almost believe that all of that was an evil dream. Taking a deep breath, Aaron spoke quietly into the stillness of the night. “Father, when I heard Your call to come here, I was ready. I thought it would be hard at first, but I was excited and eager to come. When I got here, it was harder then I expected, but still I began to see fruits from my labor. Then the village believed and I was sure most of my hardships where over.”
He laughed softly. “I had no idea how easy I had it then. This… this has been really hard. The long journey to get here, the training, and now attacks every night, speaking to the people every morning, catching a few hours sleep, and then at again. I’m tired. Really tired. Every morning all I want to do is go to sleep. It has been hard, but I know I can’t stop. I remember what I told father the night I planned to leave. I told him I wanted to come and live, work and fight among the people; all to share Your truth with them. That is what I am doing, but when I answered that call, I didn’t realize how hard it would be. I confess, if I knew what it would be like before I left, I would have certainly wavered in my decision. And not being able to leave here and go home…”
Aaron’s voice trailed off slightly and he took in a breath. “Father I’m scared. I hate being trapped here, I want the freedom to be able to go home if I need to, and now I can’t!” All at once the fear he had tried so hard to hold back came crashing down on him. The horrible images Aaron had tried so hard to fight off flooded into his mind. He could see the desperate men on the walls, trying with the last of their strength to fight. He saw the Imperial soldiers cut them down without mercy; Noah, Darrien, Prince Edwin… Turin. Aaron tried to fight off the images but they kept coming. It was as if he was watching at all, powerless to stop it. He could see the fires, hear the cries of the wounded and dying. He saw the soldiers braking into houses, and then–– horror of horrors–– he could see them dragging Sabina into the street, taking her away as a captive. She was fighting and Aaron heard her scream.
Aaron covered his head with his hands, trying to fight off the images. “Oh God!” he cried.
“What have I gotten myself into? I am trapped in a falling country, in a city that is trying to stand up to a huge army that is merely toying with us; waiting for the moment to strike and tare this place to pieces. What will happen to us? What will happen to me, my friends… everyone? Will we die in a battle? Become prisoners? Slaves? Be killed? What happens when this city falls God!” he cried. “Will You just abandon us? Will You leave us to die!” He covered his face with his hands, his breath broken and frantic. “I can’t do this!” he whispered. “I can’t stand it anymore! I can’t wait for them to kill us. Oh God do something! Why won’t you do something?”“Aaron, are you alright?”
Aaron spun with a cry.
Turin was climbing the last steps to the roof. He was looking at Aaron, concern in his dark eyes. “What happened Aaron? Is something wrong?”
Aaron wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I… I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong Turin.”
Turin arched an eyebrow.
“Don’t look at me like that,” snapped Aaron. He cleared his throat uneasily. “I’m perfectly fine.”
“Oh I can see that,” replied Turin. He came to Aaron and dropped down beside him. “Now, why don’t you try the truth.”
Aaron turned away. That sounded a lot like what his father used to say. Tears came unbidden and Aaron saw his father’s study, heard his sisters laugh… he sucked in a shaking breath and wiped his eyes again.
“Aaron, something is clearly bothering you, and has been for the last few days. I might be the only one who’s noticed it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.”
“I… I’d rather not talk about it,” replied Aaron.
“Well, I think you need to,” Turin said, firmly. “You can’t just keep everything locked inside.”
“How would you know,” muttered Aaron.
Turin looked down. “I’ve done it. It will destroy you, Aaron.”
Aaron sucked in another breath and then everything came out in a rush. “I don’t understand! I feel like we’ve been abandoned! God brought us all this way and then he left us here, Turin! We have no hope of survival, and if we do live it’ll be a life of slavery to the Empire. I’ve only heard whispered rumors, but they’re enough to make my blood run cold. They are going to destroy us, and I feel like God has stopped listening to me.”
Turin sat with furrowed brow for several moments, and Aaron turned away, his face hot with shame. After all the time I’ve spent encouraging him he finds me like this!
At last, Turin spoke. “I… I understand how you feel. Sometimes it really does feel like we’ve been abandoned, especially on nights like this when I can’t sleep because I know that this might just be the last night. I can’t stop thinking about what will happen when they brake into this city, and sometimes… sometimes I think of what they might do to my sister…”
Aaron looked up at him. “I was thinking the same thing just now. Turin, do you think He really has forgotten us?”
“No,” replied Turin. He shook his head and then spoke more firmly. “No, He most certainly has not. How many times have you told me that nothing can separate us from God? Nothing, Aaron. Not the Empire, not slavery, not death… nothing!”
Aaron slowly raised his head. “Do you truly believe that?”
“Yes. Don’t you?”
Aaron nodded. “Yes, of course I do. I’ve believed it my whole life, but I’ve never had that belief put to the test. I’m afraid Turin, I really am.”
“So am I,” replied his friend.
“You?” asked Aaron.
“Yes,” chuckled Turin. “When I’m out there on the walls I’m scared to death. Sometimes I wonder what’ll kill me first, the fear or the Empire. It’s in those moments that I cry out to God and He gives me strength. You told me He would, and He hasn’t failed me yet. I trust Him to the end.”
Aaron looked away again. “Turin, I’m sorry. I can’t believe I let myself doubt like this.”
“It’s not me you doubted,” replied Turin. He squeezed Aaron’s shoulder and then got to his feet. “I’m going downstairs to find some food. I’m starving. You come down after you’ve made things right.”
Aaron watched his friend descend the stairs. When he was gone, Aaron felt as though he was standing in front of his father after Clorinda caught him doing something naughty. He swallowed against the dryness in his throat and wrapped his arms around his up drawn knees. “Father I’m sorry. I am sorry for doubting, I’m sorry for not trusting you. I know that You have the power to save us. You have the power to deliver us, but even if You don’t, You will never leave us or forsake us. I don’t know what will happen, but You do. Help me to be content with that. Help me to trust You without needing to know the future. Give me peace.”
Aaron looked up once more at the sky. Slowly, almost without knowing it, he lifted his hands. “You, O Lord, made the heavens and the earth, You created the stars in the sky, painting the night with glory. You created each little star and set it perfectly among hundreds. If You O Lord can do all of this, if You know the number of the stars, their life span, their beginning and end, then You also know each of us, our life span, our beginning and end. Oh Father, give me faith. Help me to trust You, the Maker of the heavens and the earth, the Master of land and sea, the God who filled the night with stars, the Father who loves me and knows me.” Aaron bowed his head, his hands still lifted. “Give me strength. Guide me and help me to never stop trusting you.” He closed his hands and slowly lowered his arms. “I will never turn away from You, no matter what happens. Oh Father, hold me to this vow. Give me the strength to stay true from now on until the end.”
Aaron leaned back on his arms and looked at the sky once more. Slowly he could feel comfort and peace pouring over him, and Aaron knew that his doubt had been forgiven and cast away, covered by the blood of his Savior. As he watched the stars, Aaron began to think. “I wonder, could it be for the best that You had me come now, in this time of war?” he asked. “Do You have a plan that I just can’t see? Hundreds have come to You in these past days. Would that have been so If I came in a time of peace? I know You have a reason for everything, and I know You work all things out for the good of those who love You. Are You using this terrible war to bring Ardenta to You? Prince Edwin, heir to the throne, is now a follower of You and Your Son. I wonder, would it have been so if he was not fighting a desperate war? Oh Father, I want all the answers now. Help me to be content with not knowing. Give me strength for tonight and strength for the morning. May Your will be done.”
At that moment a horn blasted through the night. Aaron jumped to his feet and scrambled down the steps. He yanked his sword-belt tighter and shoved his Bible into his satchel as Turin crashed through the door into the street, followed by the other men of the village.
They were soon running toward the walls. When they arrived, Turin thundered up the stairs with Aaron hot on his heels. All through the night, they fought against the enemy, or put out fires started by the flaming missiles. The hours dragged and Aaron found himself moving mechanically as he ran from place to place, putting out fires, brining fresh arrows to the archers, and loading the trebuchets. Suddenly, a shot went up. Aaron turned and saw the prince. He had come down from the fighting on the south wall and now stood in the firelight, his sword held high. “Fight for me!” he yelled. “Fight for your families! Fight for your country!”
The men and boys let out breathless cheers and Aaron could feel their fresh determination. Their prince was standing on the wall with them. They would not let him come to harm.
Another hour dragged passed. Aaron caught glimpses if the young prince now and then. He was right down among his men, fighting fires and supplying the archers with arrows. He yelled encouragement to the soldiers as he moved among them, and they responded with fresh energy and resolve.
Aaron paused and leaned against the wall, gasping for breath. The fires were spreading closer to the walls and he could feel the heat. The Imperial soldiers had repositioned their machines to drop the flaming projectiles almost on top of the walls. Aaron wiped sweat from his face with a dirty hand. “You good soldier?”
Aaron turned and found Prince Edwin behind him. The prince’s strained face broke into a smile when he saw who it was. “I’m glad you’re up here, Aaron.”
“Thank you for coming, the men needed it,” replied Aaron.
The prince nodded. “It truly is bad out here. The south wall is suffering a hard attack, but nothing like this.”
“Turin says it’s because of the gate,” said Aaron.
The prince looked toward the towers that flanked the entrance to the city. “He is most likely correct.”
Someone ran into Aaron, and water slashed over his leg and boot. “Sorry sir,” panted a voice.
Aaron turned and came face to face with an Ardentan who was actually a head and shoulders shorter then he was. The figure stumbled passed, lugging a huge bucket, but Aaron pulled him back. “Hold on a moment.”
The boy wore a leather helmet pulled low over his head, and Aaron pushed it back. “How old are you!” he exclaimed.
“Eleven,” replied the boy.
The prince swore under his breath.
“What are you doing out here?” exclaimed Aaron.
“Hauling water,” replied the boy. “My brothers and father are out her and I have no one else. The soldiers get thirsty, so they have us boys bring them water.”
Aaron vaguely remembered the little figures dragging their buckets along the parapets, but he had never guessed they were so young.
The boy’s eyes had gone passed Aaron to the prince. He carefully lowered his bucket and bowed, wide eyed. “Your highness!”
Edwin’s face was working and it seemed he was trying for force down anger or tears. He laid a hand on the boys shoulder. “You’re doing well soldier.”
The boy stood taller. Then he dipped a ladle in his bucket and offered it to the prince. Edwin drank and thanked him. Aaron took water when it was offered, but he couldn’t get the boy’s words from his mind. Eleven. Eleven years old and he’s out here in the heat of battle! He watched the little figure as he disappeared among the soldiers, offering water where he went.
Fire burst up as a projectile slammed down onto the parapets, shooting sparks in all directions. Aaron and Prince Edwin ran to help the men put it out before more damage could be done.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 1, 2024 at 1:23 pm #184049@ellette-giselle I LOVE IT!
I like how when Aaron starts to doubt why he’s been sent there, Turin is there to remind him of God’s plan. This story’s become special to me because my family has friends who are missionaries just like Aaron. They live in Bologna, Italy, where there isn’t a physical war going on necessarily but many people there aren’t particularly open to God’s Word.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
August 1, 2024 at 1:37 pm #184054That’s so wonderful! I’m so glad this story is special to you! I will be praying for your family’s friends. Italy is tough. I wasn’t old enough to really know it when i was there, but I was still aware of the way they were closed off to the gospel, and the fact that our church was so small.
I like how when Aaron starts to doubt why he’s been sent there, Turin is there to remind him of God’s plan.
Thank you! I’m glad you liked it. @linus-smallprint mentioned doing something like that would be a good idea, and I remembered that I had in the 2nd draft, but it got taken out by the 4th. So, i put it back in. I’m glad it was good. I’m interested to hear his thoughts on it.
I have another section here…..things are about to get dark…….
Aaron’s head ached and he choked on the acrid smoke. This night seemed as though it would never end! The trebuchets on the wall were beginning to cause damage to the Imperial weapons, and it looked as though they were holding them off. Aaron looked to the east and could see a lighter color on the horizon. The Night was almost over. Only another hour at most.
Aaron and Edwin were working near on of the trebuchets when a flaming projectile crashed into it. Wood exploded in a thousand directions and men yelled, some reeling off the walls and falling to the ground below. Aaron hit the ground and covered his head as sparks and pieces of wood showered down on him. Men were yelling for help, and several lay unnaturally still. Aaron staggered up and looked about. He could see Turin closer to the gate, trying to rally his men to continue their fire.
Edwin was slowly sitting up, shaking the fog from his head. He got to his feet as several soldiers raced by to help their wounded comrades. Aaron turned but movement caught his eye. He swung around and saw someone struggling under the wight of one of the broken trebuchet’s arms. Aaron started forward and dropped down beside the figure. With a cry he realized it was the water boy. Oh God no! “Edwin!” he yelled, grabbing hold of the splintered wood.
Edwin ran to join them and the two dragged the beam off of the boy. Aaron dropped down beside the child and carefully loosened the straps of his helmet. It well away to reveal the child’s dark hair was streaked with blood. The boy was crying and coughing and Aaron felt unbearable grief and anger taring him apart. There was blood everywhere and the broken war-machine still smoldered nearby. Edwin came to his knees Across from Aaron and gentle gathered the little boy into his arms. “It’s alright,” he whispered, his hands shaking as he rubbed them over the child’s back.
Aaron watched as the boy continued to cry, his face white with pain. He was dying and there was nothing Aaron could do. It made him sick.
It seemed like an eternity, but was only a few moments later when the boy went still. Aaron bent, gasping for breath as tears ran don his face. Edwin had his forehead pressed against the boy’s head and his shoulders shook with silent sobs. “God why?” breathed Aaron. “Why must this be so cruel?”
Aaron wasn’t sure how long they remained there. It was a shuffling and anxious whispers among the men on the wall that caused him to look up. The sky had turned brighter and the sun was rising. Aaron saw that the men were not leaving the walls. Instead, they were standing and looking down at the enemy camp below. A horse whinnied and a voice shouted something. Aaron watched as one of Edwin’s officer’s made his way toward them. He came to a stop when he saw Edwin on the ground, still weeping and cradling the boy. “Your highness?”
Edwin caught his breath and looked up, his face streaked with blood and tears. “What is it?”
“An Imperial messenger, Sire. He seeks a word with you.”
Edwin cleared his throat and wiped his eyes with the back of his gloved hand. He gently laid the boy on the ground and rose. Pulling off his royal blue cloak, he draped it over the child. He straightened and let out a slow breath. “Please try to find his family. He has a father and brothers on the wall.”
The officer nodded, and Edwin turned and made his way through the soldiers. Aaron stood up and followed him. They found Turin leaning on his arms and glaring over the edge of the wall, he looked up as the prince arrived. Giving Edwin a respectful nod he stepped back. Edwin took a deep breath and stepped forward.
As Aaron leaned over the wall next to Turin. Below them, sitting astride a brown gelding, the messenger waited. Two more riders flanked him, one carrying the Imperial flag, and the other green branch of parley. Aaron glanced over at Edwin and sent up a silent plea. Father, give him wisdom, help him to turn to You in this moment. Speak to him and help him to heed Your voice. As Aaron watched the events unfold before him, he felt as though he had seen it all before. Perhaps the Empire had done this very thing to another kingdom and he had heard the rumors.
Edwin looked down at the messenger and his companions. “I am the leader of these men, what do you wish to say?”
“You? You cannot be the leader,” scoffed the man. “I came here to trade words with men and warriors, not a schoolboy.”
Next to Aaron, Turin ground his teeth. “He’s baiting him,” warned Aaron. “Don’t you take it either Turin.”
Edwin seemed to be wavering between an outraged response and a mature one, and Aaron saw he had gone white around the lips. At last, he spoke. “Young as I may be, I am the Prince of the Ardentans. Give your message to me or leave.”
“If I had known the Ardentans were led by a mere youth, I would have told my commander not to waste words with you, for you could easily be defeated,” replied the messenger.
“Is that your message?” asked Edwin.
The man scowled, clearly annoyed that his jabs were not having much affect on the youth. “No,” he growled. Then he raised his voice so that all those on the walls could hear. “My commander offers you peace. Lay down your arms, surrender now, and no one will die. We will leave your country, but you will pay taxes and also accept some terms. You will become a state of the Empire, but, your property and homes will be restored and you will live in peace.”
“What terms,” asked the prince sharply.
“A simple matter, really,” replied the messenger.
“What terms?” asked the prince, his voice harder.
“A temple to the gods will be erected in your capital, and you will give to us seven youths and seven maids who’s purity is undefiled by the marriage bed. They will devote their lives to the service of the gods.”
Aaron felt sick, and he glanced at Turin who looked a little pale. Arron looked back at Edwin. The young prince was clearly shaken, and had gone white with rage and fear. “Do you think that I would let those terms even be considered!” he yelled down at the messenger.
“If not, then much worse will come,” was the reply.
“Never!” shouted the prince. “Never will I surrender when such terms are asked. Now go tell your Commander.”
The men below turned their horses away and rode back toward the camp. The defenders on the wall stood silent, hardly able to grasp what had been said in the short space of time. At last, they slowly began to walk toward the stairs, some murmuring softly to each other, others silent. The guards remained on the wall to watch the enemy, but the fighting men hurried down to the streets below. The believers among the defenders set out for the Great Hall, some bringing friends or companions who had not heard the truth. Edwin had turned away and was talking with his officers.
Aaron stood on the wall for a long time, even after most had left; including Turin and Darrien. Noah came to his side and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Aaron, the people are waiting for you. They need hope, especially right now.”
Aaron leaned his arms on the walls and looked at the enemy below, he let out a slow breath. He closed his eyes and saw Edwin holding the boy. He could hear the child sobbing in pain, and the memory tore him apart. “What if I have none to give them?”
“Aaron, are you doubting God?” Noah asked sharply.
Aaron shook his head.
“God is with us always, no matter what. That is the hope you can give them,” said Noah. “Aaron, I look up to you as an older brother, even though you are younger then I am. But right now, I will take that place and tell you that I don’t ever want to hear you say something like that again.”
Aaron looked up at Noah, and there were tears in his eyes as he spoke. “I am so sorry Noah, I… I don’t know what came over me. It’s just been a long night, but that is no excuse. Please forgive me.”
Noah nodded “Of course. Darrien and I will lead the people in hymns. Come when you are ready.”
When Noah was gone, Aaron pulled his Bible from his satchel and flipped through it, unsure of what he was searching for. “Father I’ve done it again,” he said quietly. “It was merely hours ago that I confessed my doubt and begged you to take it from me. Now, I’ve forgotten the truth again! Forgive me Father, please forgive me. Please help me, give me strength and show me what to tell the people.” before the words were fully out of his mouth, Aaron remembered something. This scene had felt familiar because he read of one just like it. “Thank you Father,” he whispered.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 1, 2024 at 3:21 pm #184056Great scene! Sad about the boy who died though. It’s not too dark. War–real, full-out war–is usually sad like that.
You’ve been to Italy too? My family did a short mission trip there with our church last year, although we were there before our friends moved over there and in a different area. My mom wants to go back, it’s so beautiful there.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
August 2, 2024 at 7:49 am #184057Thank you! Yes, it is sad, but like you said, realistic.
Yes, we lived there for 4 years! Italy is a beautiful place to visit….. but DON’T live there. lol.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 2, 2024 at 12:17 pm #184060@ellette-giselle cool! I’ve never lived anywhere besides the US…..
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
August 2, 2024 at 12:34 pm #184062And that’s the way it should be…….. lol.
Other countries are hard to live in.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 2, 2024 at 12:37 pm #184063Now the stakes are rising. I feel like the war and Aaron’s mission are closer tied together now that the prince is a Christian and the war is causing Aaron to doubt.
Yes, I do think Aaron’s character is improving with his growing doubt. It does make him more relatable. He is also starting to show some pride issues. Use these flaws and the suffering coming his way to show the Holy Spirit working in him so that in the end his faith is stronger than it was before. (Though I would be surprised if this was not your plan)
“Father I’ve done it again,” he said quietly. “It was merely hours ago that I confessed my doubt and begged you to take it from me. Now, I’ve forgotten the truth again!”
Aaron, I know you’ve become a more interesting and relatable character with this, but you have just stepped into a dangerous cycle of doubt. One that is headed downwards and only starts to spin faster.
Tell me straight that guys never noticed a girl is pretty. lol.
It’s realistic, and it could have been far worse. My aim is to keep any romance clean and God honoring.
Yes I recognize that, and I have noticed girls are pretty myself, but it is mostly just the awkwardness. As I read that scene I could not help but cringe inwardly. But, you are making me feel the way Aaron does at that moment, so that is not a bad thing.
August 2, 2024 at 1:24 pm #184066Yes I recognize that, and I have noticed girls are pretty myself, but it is mostly just the awkwardness. As I read that scene I could not help but cringe inwardly. But, you are making me feel the way Aaron does at that moment, so that is not a bad thing.
My dad said that it’s the natural way for a guy to think, and he has to overcome that through God’s grace. Is it a bad scene? I can cut that thought if you think it would be better…….
Aaron, I know you’ve become a more interesting and relatable character with this, but you have just stepped into a dangerous cycle of doubt. One that is headed downwards and only starts to spin faster.
haha! you’re talking to my character! That’s a good sign!
Now the stakes are rising. I feel like the war and Aaron’s mission are closer tied together now that the prince is a Christian and the war is causing Aaron to doubt.
Yes they have.
I’m assuming you have read everything I posted? I tagged you in the response to Keilah where I posted the scene with the Imperial Messanger. I wasn’t sure if you saw that though…….
If you did I’ll post the next part!
Use these flaws and the suffering coming his way to show the Holy Spirit working in him so that in the end his faith is stronger than it was before. (Though I would be surprised if this was not your plan)
Great minds think alike…….. and fools never differ.
Let’s just hope it’s the first part. lol.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 2, 2024 at 1:28 pm #184067My dad said that it’s the natural way for a guy to think, and he has to overcome that through God’s grace. Is it a bad scene? I can cut that thought if you think it would be better…….
Maybe just remove that one thought where he wonders what holding her hand will be like. I don’t have a problem with him thinking she looks pretty.
I’m assuming you have read everything I posted? I tagged you in the response to Keilah where I posted the scene with the Imperial Messanger. I wasn’t sure if you saw that though…….
Yup. Ready for the next part.
August 2, 2024 at 1:29 pm #184068I don’t have a problem with holding hands before marriage either, it’s just mainly the way Aaron thinks about it.
August 2, 2024 at 1:35 pm #184070Right, I wouldn’t want them to get physical before marriage either. I guess I just know guys can have odd thought posses about things like this, and I was trying to make it more realistic. Believe me, it makes me cringe when guys think that way! lol. I can cut that.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 2, 2024 at 1:55 pm #184071@ellette-giselle lol my parents want to know what it’s like to live in Europe for a month or two.
Only time will tell if we will ever actually do that.though.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
August 2, 2024 at 2:02 pm #184074ok, took a second because I opened the doc and found it was covered in edits I forgot to fix yesterday……. sorry.
When Aaron arrived at the great hall, the people turned worried eyes on him. Aaron walked across the bridge that had been constructed from the rubble to the large stone in the middle of the water. He looked at the people and understood what they were feeling. Aaron closed his eyes and spoke. “Father, we are gathered here in Your name. We ask that You would speak to us and fill us with Your Spirit. In Christ’s name we pray, amen.” Aaron looked up and the people waited quietly. At last he spoke. “This morning, when Noah told me you were waiting, I told him I had no hope to give you.”
The people looked startled and a little frightened. Aaron continued. “Noah reminded me of the truth that even I, one who has been a child of God for years, had forgotten in the face of worldly powers and threats. God will never leave us or forsake us, no matter what happens. He is all powerful, and He knows what will happen. He has known it from the beginning, and He has a plan and purpose for each and every one of us. We are His, and He has a road all of us must walk. Some of us will walk it together, others may walk it alone. But, we will never walk it truly alone, for He is always with us.”
Aaron cleared his throat and began. “In the days of old, there was a King over God’s people. His name was Hezekiah, and he was a young king. During his reign, the king of Assyria came and surrounded his walls. An officer spoke to the king in front of all the people, telling them to surrender or they would be destroyed. He taunted God and told them that He could not deliver them. The officer said, “Do not let Hezekiah make you trust in the Lord by saying, “The Lord will surely deliver us. This city will not be given into the hand of the king of Assyria.” Do not listen to Hezekiah. For thus says the king of Assyria: Make your peace with me and come out to me. Then each one of you will eat of his own vine, and each one of his own fig tree, and each one of you will drink the water of his own cistern, until I come and take you away to a land like your own land, a land of grain and wine, a land of bread and vineyards. Beware lest Hezekiah mislead you by saying, “The Lord will deliver us.” Has any of the gods of the nations delivered his land out of the hand of the king of Assyria? Where are the gods of Hamath and Arpad? Where are the gods of Sepharvaim? Have they delivered Samaria out of my hand? Who among all the gods of these lands have delivered their lands out of my hand, that the Lord should deliver Jerusalem out of my hand?’”
Aaron paused and looked out over the crowd. The people were silent, all looking at Aaron with wonder in their eyes, for had not the same thing been done to them? Had not the enemy sent a messenger to speak to them in the hearing of all those on the battlements, telling them they were to make peace or fall? Aaron looked over the thoughtful faces and spotted the prince sitting on a pile of broken pillars and roof, his eyes fixed intently on Aaron.
Aaron continued. “The People did not answer the officer, and Hezekiah prayed to the Lord, calling on Him to defend his name and His people. Then Isaiah, a servant of the Lord, came to Hezekiah and told him, ‘Thus says the Lord: Do not be afraid because of the words that you have heard, with which the young men of the king of Assyria have reviled Me. Behold, I will put a spirit in him, so that he shall hear a rumor and return to his own land, and I will make him fall by the sword in his own land.’ Then the army returned home, but the officer wrote a letter to Hezekiah, saying ‘Do not let your God in whom you trust deceive you by promising that Jerusalem will not be given into the hand of the king of Assyria. Behold, you have heard what the kings of Assyria have done to all lands, devoting them to destruction. And shall you be delivered? Have the gods of the nations delivered them, the nations that my fathers destroyed, Gozan, Haran, Rezeph, and the people of Eden who were in Telassar? Where is the king of Hamath, the king of Arpad, the king of the city of Sepharvaim, the king of Hena, or the king of Ivvah?’
Then Hezekiah took the letter and laid it out befo9re the Lord He called upon Him to uphold His promise to defend them, and asked that He come and show the Assyrians who was the true God. He told the Lord, “You are not like the false gods of the other nations. You alone are God, and You alone can save us.”
Then Isaiah came to the king and spoke the Lord’s message to him. “Assyria despises you, she scorns you— the virgin daughter of Zion; she wags her head behind you— the daughter of Jerusalem. “‘Whom have you mocked and reviled? Against whom have you raised your voice and lifted your eyes to the heights? Against the Holy One of Israel! By your servants you have mocked the Lord, and you have said, With my many chariots I have gone up the heights of the mountains, to the far recesses of Lebanon, to cut down its tallest cedars, its choicest cypresses, to come to its remotest height, its most fruitful forest. I dug wells and drank waters, to dry up with the sole of my foot all the streams of Egypt. “‘Have you not heard that I determined it long ago? I planned from days of old what now I bring to pass, that you should make fortified cities crash into heaps of ruins, while their inhabitants, shorn of strength, are dismayed and confounded, and have become like plants of the field and like tender grass, like grass on the housetops, blighted before it is grown. I know your sitting down and your going out and coming in, and your raging against Me. Because you have raged against Me and your complacency has come to My ears.’ Then the Lord struck down the Assyrians and the king of Assyria fled to his home where he was killed and his son became king in his place.”
In the silence that followed this account, Aaron saw looks of disbelief, hope and wonder. At last, one of the Prince’s officers spoke. “Does this mean that we will not fall?”
Aaron shook his head. “No, it does not mean that. We may yet fall, but we may not. This passage shows that God has the power to save us from the hand of the emperor, if that is His will. He may have another plan for us. One that will bring glory and honor to His name in a way that was different from what he did for the people of Israel. But, I want all of you to take note of a few verses. One, in God’s reply to Isaiah’s prayers he says “‘Have you not heard that I determined it long ago? I planned from days of old what now I bring to pass, that you should make fortified cities crash into heaps of ruins, while their inhabitants, shorn of strength, are dismayed and confounded, and have become like plants of the field and like tender grass, like grass on the housetops, blighted before it is grown. I know your sitting down and your going out and coming in, and your raging against Me.’” God knew what was going to happen from the beginning of time, He had determined it, He planned it, and He was bringing it to pass. He also knows their every move, their sitting down, their going out, their coming in, their raging against Him. He knew, He knows, and He is all powerful.
“What the Empire is doing, they are only doing because it is part of God’s plan. He knows what will happen, and He is watching over us. Secondly, did you see that when the people of Israel were threatened by Assyria, Isaiah took that threat and laid it before the Lord? He took it to God. Should we not do the same?”
There was a long silence, but several people nodded. It was then that Edwin spoke. “Aaron, does God want us to fall? Does He want us to suffer and die? Does He want such an evil place as the Empire to rule over us?”
Aaron was caught off guard by this question and was silent for a long moment. Everyone was looking at him now, and Aaron knew that what he answered would effect much. Father speak through me. “I don’t know if that is what God’s plan is for us, and I can’t know. But I do know what His word says about his plans and about suffering. Jeremiah says ‘“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, plans to give you a future and a hope.”’ Romans says ‘And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.’ All things, not just some things, but all things work together for good for those who are called according to God’s purposes. God has plans for us, they are for good, not for evil. Evil will happen, but it will be for our good. As Joseph says in Genesis ‘“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good,”’ God will use the evil of this world for our good if we love, trust, and obey Him.
“As for suffering; many who followed Christ suffered, for it is our lot to take up our cross and follow Him. But, it is also our joy and privilege to take up our cross and follow Him. Listen to what the writers of the New Testament wrote about suffering. Aaron flipped through his Bible and found the place. Romans 5:3 says ‘Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,’ Romans 8:18 ‘For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.’ 2 Corinthians 1:5 ‘For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.’
Aaron looked up at the people once again. “There will be trails and suffering, but if we hold fast to Christ He will give us the strength to endure. What we experience here on earth will only magnify the glory we will enter into after death. Remember, God loves us, He is with us and we are His. Nothing can change that. Romans 8:25-29 says ‘Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or desolation, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.’ I believe that with my whole heart. Do you?”
The people did not speak for a long time. Then Noah said, “yes, I do.”
Slowly at first but spreading rapidly, the rest also said the same. Aaron smiled and spoke. “Now then, let us tell God what has happened and lay before Him this threat and offer the men of the Empire have given us.” Aaron looked upward and held out his hands, as if giving or showing something to the One he spoke to. “Father, today the enemy wanted us to make peace with them, to let them rule us, and to let them make use of this land for vile deeds to false gods, demons, for the glory of the devil. They wish to take children from this land and give them to their false gods as servants. They bring evil and destruction and they curse Your name! Help us now, help us to know what to do. Give us the courage and strength to endure, no matter what comes. Help us never to forget that You have a plan for us and You use what man intended for evil, and turn it into good. Help us to never forget that You planned this from the beginning, and destined it from the days of old. You know and see what is happening now. Help us to remember that as Your children we are called to suffer for Your name. But You will always be with us, and You will give us the strength we need. Help us to fix our eyes on things above, not the things of this world. And, help us to always remember that nothing–– nothing in heaven or earth, now or in the future, can ever separate us from Your love.”
Aaron lowered his arms and smiled, nodding to those gathered. Noah spoke next, echoing Aaron’s prayer, followed by Darrien. Then Prince Edwin prayed for help and wisdom in leading the people, and added his voice to the prayers of the others. Turin prayed after him, and then Sabina’s gentle voice spoke up. For nearly an hour those gathered prayed, and the people felt peace fill them and a strong presence of God’s power moving among them. When the time of prayer ended, the crowd quietly dispersed to catch a few hours sleep before the next attack.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 3, 2024 at 8:29 am #184093and here’s some more……
That night, as Aaron lay in bed, he wondered how soon he and the others would be up and on the walls. He dreaded another long night, yet he knew it was necessary to keep the enemy at bay. As his eyes began to close, Aaron whispered softly in the darkness, “Thy will be done Father, Thy will be done.”
Aaron looked up and saw that he was on the walls. He didn’t remember coming back here. It was dark and there was fire everywhere. He could smell the smoke and taste it on the air. There were shouts and calls for help. Something exploded in sparks to the right. Aaron ran toward the sound, but he couldn’t seem to reach it. He tripped and slid. Aaron grabbed the wall but he fell. Instead of hitting the cobblestoned street below, Aaron found himself somewhere much darker then the walls. There was something beside him, and as Aaron crawled forward he found it was a boy. He knew at once that the child was dying–– this scene was far too familiar. Aaron grabbed ahold of him, trying to free the helmet, but the straps were stuck. Oh God, not again! Please don’t make me watch this again!
“Aaron! Aaron, wake up!”
Aaron started and looked up. Someone was bending over him, and he sat up quickly. “What’s wrong? Is there an attack? I don’t hear the horn.”
“No,” replied Turin. “There is no attack, and that is what worries me.”
“If there is no attack then let me sleep,” muttered Aaron, trying to roll over, but Turin grabbed his arm and yanked him up. “On your feet Aaron, battle is near at hand.”
Aaron yawned and rubbed his eyes, trying to brush away the clinging remnants of his dream.. “Why do you say that?”
“It is already morning, yet there has been no sound from the enemy,” replied Turin, looking out the window. He shook his head slowly. “Something is not right.”
Aaron was more awake now, and he too looked out the window, wondering if Turin could be mistaken. He was not. Dawn was near, and already the sky had gone from black to a gentle grey.
Turin went about rousing the others in the room while Aaron strapped on his sword. He pulled his black vest straight and reached for his boots. He had worn only the vest after the heat grew more intense with the summer. Now, he wondered if he would ever have the chance to get his clothes clean. He had been in the same clothing since the nighttime attacks had begun. They couldn’t risk the women cleaning them while they slept, least an unexpected attack come. Aaron cringed at the blood stains from last night that darkened the leather of his vest.
Aaron stood up and poured water into a basin, splashing his face and neck. It felt good wake up normally and have a moment to collect himself before rushing out to fight.
Aaron rubbed his eyes and looked over at Noah and Darrien. They were slowly getting up, and they weren’t happy with Turin.
“Settle down,” said Aaron. “Even if Turin’s warning is unwarranted, we have the chance for an early morning time of prayer and worship reading.”
This calmed the two, and as soon as they were up, Aaron pulled out his Bible. They prayed, asking God to guide them in their reading and speak to their hearts. Then, Aaron asked Noah to read the morning passage. Noah flipped through the Bible to Hebrews 10. His eyes ran along the page for a time, then he stopped at verse 19.
“‘Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that He opened for us through the curtain, that is, through His flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.’”
Noah stopped and they sat in silence for a long time, deep in thought. At last, Darrien spoke. “We used to study with Aaron every morning.”
Noah nodded. “Yes, I miss that. I feel like that was a very strengthening time for all of us, but with all the fighting we neglected it.” he looked up at Aaron. “I don’t blame you, I think we are all at fault. I think we let worldly cares take the place of spending time in fellowship studying God’s word. We have held fast to our faith, yet we have neglected to meet together.”
Aaron nodded. “You are right. We must never let the things of this world, even something as big as a war, come in between us and following God’s commands. I feel chiefly to blame as I have led you three.”
“You may have led us, but we are responsible for our own choices. You won’t live forever, Aaron, and if our faith falls apart when you are gone, what was it built upon? Certainly not God,” Turin said.
“Lets make an agreement right here to never again neglect meeting together in fellowship,” said Darrien, looking at the others in the room.
Everyone agreed, and then they asked God to help them hold fast to their promise never again to neglect meeting together for prayer and worship. They decided to meet in the afternoons after they returned from the wall. “Let’s look at the other verses in this passage,” said Aaron. “What about this verse ‘Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.’”
“I think it is clear,” said Turin. “We are to hold fast to the confession we have made in Christ, with out wavering, no matter what. For Christ is faithful.”
“Yes,” agreed Aaron. “I would like to look at a few more passages that have to do with––”
He never got to finish, for at that moment, someone pounded on the door. Turin was up in a flash and had the door open before the others could move. One of the boys from the village was standing there, a sword at his side. “Hurry, father says come to the walls at once!”
“What happened?” demanded Turin.
“I don’t know, it’s orders from a soldier,” the boy called back as he ran down the hall.
The others were on their feet, and they looked to Turin “Let’s go,” he said.
Father protect us, pleaded Aaron, as he and the others scrambled from the room. They ran through the streets and to the walls. The early colors of sunrise had touched the horizon, and it was much lighter then it had been. They climbed the steps to the walls and stood with the others on the parapets.
“What is going on?” The question rippled through the men, but no answer came. Prince Edwin appeared and walked quickly along the walls. He came to Aaron and stopped. Aaron bowed his head out of respect for the young leader’s rank. “What is it I can do sire?”
Edwin smiled, but Aaron saw the weariness in his eyes. “Aaron, I need to know something. If the Empire wins, will God keep my people safe? If I loose this kingdom, will He do what I could not?”
Aaron was caught off guard by this question, but he answered truthfully, trusting God to speak through him and bring comfort to the prince. “God will never leave or forsake your people. There will be trials, but God does not just let trials happen because that is what happens in the world. No, He uses each one to strengthen us and draw us nearer to Him. He promises never to let us face trials we cannot bare. He will strengthen us and keep us. He will never leave your people, and He will never leave you. Trusting Him will be hard–– even I struggle with that sometimes–– but He will never leave us.”
Edwin nodded slowly. “I thank God that you came to us when you did. If you had not, so much would be different.”
“Has something happened?” Aaron quietly asked, wondering what had brought on this encounter.
“Not yet,” replied Edwin. “But you heard as well as I that if we did not surrender yesterday things would be worse. I have a feeling something is about to happen.” He looked up at Aaron. “I am afraid I will do something wrong. I am but a youth, as the Imperial messenger said. I don’t know what I should do or how to help me people in this time. The Empire easily despises me, and I wonder if I deserve it.”
Aaron shook his head. “There was a young man, Timothy, who was a follower of Christ. He was a leader, but some looked down on him for being young. Paul wrote a letter to him, and in it he told Timothy, ‘Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.’ You to can do this. Set an example for those around you as you learn to walk with God. You will make mistakes, but He is faithful to forgive, ask for His guidance as you lead your people, and He will readily give it.”
Edwin nodded soberly and let out a slow breath. He looked over the wall toward the Imperial camp. “If only I knew what they were planning.”
At that moment, someone called out, “Rider approaching!”
Aaron and the prince hurried to the place and looked down to see the same messenger drawing near. He rained in his horse and sat silent for a long moment. At last, he spoke. “Boy! Where are you boy leader of the Ardentans?”
The prince’s eyes flashed a moment, but then cooled. “I am here. What do you wish to tell me?”
“Ah, there you are, poor child prince,” taunted the messenger. “It is a wonder your men even listen to you. I wouldn’t.” He had counted on a hot retort, for it was his pleasure to rile up his enemy, so the messenger was sorely disappointed when he received no answer. He sat still on his horse for a moment, and then spoke. “Listen to me, all of you. You have one chance to surrender. If you do not, then you will fall, and the price of resistance will be high.”
Edwin glanced at Aaron and then raised his voice so the men on the wall could hear. “We will not surrender. We will stand to the end to protect our families from your evil ways. It will not be without a long fight that you may have my country and my people.”
Then men on the walls shouted their consent.
“So be it,” said the messenger. “But, listen to me young prince, if your country falls–– if we take this city–– you will pay for your foolishness with your life.”
“If that is what God wills, then so be it!” Edwin shouted down in return.
The messenger scoffed. “Your God can do nothing against us, as you have seen by your burned cities and dead king. Your blood will prove it today.”
The messenger wheeled his horse and galloped a few paces back from the walls. Edwin looked At Aaron again. His face was a little pale, but his mouth was set in a thin line of determination. “Sire, what would you have us do?” asked Turin.
Before Edwin could reply, a horn sounded from below. The men on the wall brace and Edwin turned to look toward the camp.
At that moment, there was a deafening explosion. Aaron slammed hard into something, and everything went silent as the world disappeared in blackness.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.