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The illustrations are great! I love the sibling drawing.
I don’t know what that would be! If they were girls it would be easy! I just don’t know how guys “connect” and whenever I try to write it my brothers look like they’re going to throw up. They say I make them too girly in their getting to know each other, so I just kinda steer clear. Any ideas?
The girls in my life tend to find similar interests in order to connect, whereas the guys have similar interests and just vibe without trying to connect.
An example… um… XD Say two guys were interested in baseball. They won’t talk about their feelings or how much they enjoy each other’s company. They just play baseball because they love baseball. Their enjoyment of each other is almost completely unspoken. They might make fun of each other for sucking at the game/leave without saying goodbye or exchanging any affirmation language. It’s a very factual, action-based kind of love which isn’t as obvious sometimes but still exists.
“Everything is a mountain”
@linus-smallprint Please correct me if I’m wrong about guys
“Everything is a mountain”
@whalekeeper @savannah_grace2009
Thanks so much! I’m feeling a bit better now.
I had a really rough, hectic day at work, and it’s just one of those days when I want to cry about everything. You know? (Girls, you know what I mean. Linus is probably lost. haha)
As for the 4 book thing, I don’t think I have enough to do 4 books. I will try to develop the relationship more. The only problem is I’m not a guy and I have a hard time writing guy’s forming a relationship. It’s easier top write after the relationship is formed. I mean, I see my brothers and their friends interacting, but I never really watch them become friends. And the one guy that hated my oldest brother, and my brother hated back, suddenly became a friend in a day when they got stuck working together, and after that week of work they were like besties. (guy besties) Now they do everything together if they can! lol. It just doesn’t make sense to me, and I don’t know what switched, but something did. Kinda like Aaron and Turin.
And of course Sara! I am loving your book, and I am not one who throws around compliments I don’t mean.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
Aw I’m sorry :/
I get that! Just let us know if you’re ever sick of critiques and just want to hear the positive stuff to get encouraged!
I’d say…just interview some of your guy friends and ask them to give you a cheat sheet XD XD but I think Whaley’s right, they really do just vibe lol
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333I get that! Just let us know if you’re ever sick of critiques and just want to hear the positive stuff to get encouraged!
Haha, but that would be all the time…… lol. I don’t like getting told there’s something wrong with my book, but I also know that it will NEVER get better if I don’t have real help from people like y’all who are willing to tell the truth. I do like positive with the critiques tho!
I’d say…just interview some of your guy friends and ask them to give you a cheat sheet XD XD but I think Whaley’s right, they really do just vibe lol
But I don’t really have any guy friends…….. and that seems really awkward. lol.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
Aw I’m sorry! I am the same way so you’re not alone!!!!!!!!!
BUT YOUR SHORT STORY ON YOUR MAGAZINE WAS SO GOOD I GOT CHILLS!!!!
I’ll ask one of my guy friends tonight for ya! XD XD
I get that it would be awkward so I got you girl
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333BUT YOUR SHORT STORY ON YOUR MAGAZINE WAS SO GOOD I GOT CHILLS!!!!
Thank you!!!! You just made my day!!
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
@whalekeeper @savannah_grace2009 @linus-smallprint
I kinda feel like this died out……… should I post anymore or are y’all no longer interested in it? If you aren’t that’s ok.
Thanks for all y’all’s help!
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
Great. Thank you so much!
Let’s see, Now to pick up the shattered fragments and begin to rebuild……. lol.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
@whalekeeper @savannah_grace2009 @linus-smallprint
I’m a little scared……. lol. Here’s a short section.
Aaron had been speaking for more than an hour, carefully explaining the Gospel from the garden to the resurrection. Now, he looked about at the people. A few were crying, most stared at him, in disbelief, and a few had suspicion in their expressions.
Aaron spoke. “If any of you believe then come, confess your sins, accept Christ as your Savior and King, and be baptized as a sign of the new life you have entered.”
Aaron climbed down from the rock and into the water. He stood for a moment, looking at the people. All of them took a step back from the water, and murmurs rippled through the crowd. Aaron saw Turin standing by the door. There was a look of disappointed frustration on his face, and Aaron shook his head slightly, hoping Turin wouldn’t try anything.
Aaron was ready to give up for the day, when there was movement at the edge of the crowd. He looked and saw a small boy of about ten, clinging to his father’s hand. “I believe,” he said, his voice shaking slightly.
Aaron looked up at the boy’s father, a question in his expression. The man stared at him for a long moment and then stepped back, crossing his arms and nodding slowly.
Aaron made his way through the water toward them. The boy looked up at him, a flicker of fear in his expression, but hope lying underneath.
Aaron came to the edge of the broken floor and held out his hands. The boy hesitated, and then took a step towards him. Aaron put his hands on the boy, and the child sucked in a breath. “It’s alright,” Aaron said, softly. He gently lifted the boy into the water.
The child looked up at Aaron with large brown eyes. Aaron smiled reassuringly and drew him toward the center. Aaron laid a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Do you believe you are a sinner and Christ died for you, taking your punishment so that you may have eternal life?”
The boy nodded.
“Have you told Him so?”
“I don’t know how,” whispered the child.
“Speak to him like you do your father, for he is your heavenly Father,” replied Aaron.
The boy hesitated a moment, a look of fear on his face. Lord, give him peace, Aaron silently pleaded.
The boy took in a breath. “Father… please forgive me. Please rescue me.” His prayer was simple and childish, yet it was full of faith and it had been heard and answered. The change in his expression was like the sunlight braking through the clouds, and Aaron was filled with unspeakable joy.
“Are you ready to be baptized as a sign of your faith?” asked Aaron.
The boy nodded eagerly.
Aaron placed a hand one the boy’s chest and encircled the him with his other arm. “Hold your breath and cover your nose,” he said quietly.
The boy nodded and Aaron spoke. “I now baptize you as a sign to the world of your faith in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.” Aaron let the child fall under the water and then pulled him back up. The child shook the water out of his eyes laughed. Aaron hugged him and then watched as the boy rushed through the water to where his father was waiting.
Aaron looked up and froze. There, crouched beside two little boys, was a girl. He watched as she rose and walked toward the door where Turin stood, his arms loosely crossed over his chest. The girl paused in the doorway and turned.
Aaron caught his breath; it was Sabina. She smiled at him, and Aaron saw a new look in her eyes. Sabina lips moved, forming the words, “Thank you.” Then she turned away. Turin raised a hand to Aaron and then took his sister’s hand. Together they stepped out of the door, and the sunlight that streamed in hid them from view.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
Sorry for the late response. I was away on a day trip to the mountains on Saturday and I usually try to avoid going on my laptop on Sundays (also, it was my sister’s birthday, so wanted to celebrate that with her and the rest of my family)
I was literally just snooping around on your profile and discovered you had a story! I would love to read it! And btw, the drawing of a dragon you did is amazing! Is that Wingfeather on your desk? That’s the scene where Leeli whistle harps to them in the first book. right?
All right, great! You can use the link to read the story as I work on it if you like. I will tag you later on the form I have set up for it and you can see my questions for readers. Yup, that is the first Wingfeather book at the scene you guessed its at.
Great. So far I’ve been reading through and I think I’m on chapter seven…. ? I’ve been jotting down notes as I go. i don’t know if you’re interested in them or not.
haha! I rock and guessing scenes! lolololol
Did you see the newest LTBL section I posted?
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
I don’t know what that would be! If they were girls it would be easy! I just don’t know how guys “connect” and whenever I try to write it my brothers look like they’re going to throw up. They say I make them too girly in their getting to know each other, so I just kinda steer clear. Any ideas? – Ellette
The girls in my life tend to find similar interests in order to connect, whereas the guys have similar interests and just vibe without trying to connect.
An example… um… XD Say two guys were interested in baseball. They won’t talk about their feelings or how much they enjoy each other’s company. They just play baseball because they love baseball. Their enjoyment of each other is almost completely unspoken. They might make fun of each other for sucking at the game/leave without saying goodbye or exchanging any affirmation language. It’s a very factual, action-based kind of love which isn’t as obvious sometimes but still exists. – Whaley
This is an interesting topic. Perhaps one that needs its feed. I am curious how girls think differently from guys and how they connect to my own stories. It probably would be a good idea for you to ask the other guys on this site how they connect since everyone is a little different.
I saw the notification for this and since connecting with other guys just comes naturally to me, I had to discuss this with my sister and some friends first. What Whaley says here is not wrong. Guys tend to connect with other guys by doing things. (This, Ellette, may explain why your brother was suddenly besties with the guy he hated). However, that does not mean we do not like to talk either. I often make friends by talking to them but feel closer after doing something, such as playing board/video games together, or going on a hike.
After talking to my sister, we also somewhat came to a conclusion of how boy talk is different from girl talk. Yes, we do not talk about our feelings much. We just mutually agree that we are friends. We will ask each other how we are doing and say some sort of goodbye, but other than that, there is not much affirmation language. We also tend to nerd out about things as well. What was my highlight of the week? I might tell you about some great accomplishments in a video game. (The funny thing is that whenever I was discussing this topic with other guys, the conversation immediately switched to my friends telling me about some of their video game accomplishments, and I had to bring this topic up again later to finish it off.) To give you more idea of what we talk about, conversations I have had with my friends that lasted at least 20 minutes recently have been about video games, apologetics, and writing. Also, looking at men and women in my church, the men will discuss theology, while the women prefer to ask each other about life and how they are doing.
Again, things are not always strictly this way, and that is what makes this a difficult question to answer. Sometimes we do ask each other how we are doing how we are doing and how we can pray for each other. Depending on the guy, he may go more in-depth about his struggles in life. Personally, I to hear my friends confirm that they are indeed my friends. Another thing that makes me different from other guys is that I do not enjoy a lot of group activities that others like. I don’t like or get sports and when my friends break out some new multiplayer video game, I usually am not interested. I was once invited to a paintball birthday party and skipped the paintball part. I would probably do the same thing again. Instead, I like to do things by myself, like read, write, draw, or play single-player video games. So for me, I often make friends by discussing some nerdy topic, though, as I mentioned earlier, that friendship strengthens after doing something together. I should also mention, that since I do not like activities a lot of other guys like, I have always been a bit of an outcast.
So, Ellette, how could you use this to build trust between Turin and Aaron? Aaron is already helping Turin on the farm at the beginning. Let’s take this paragraph right here:
Turin snorted. “Today we hoe and clear a field for planting,” he said abruptly. He grabbed a hoe from the barn and tossed it to Aaron, then he took one for himself and walked out to a field. “I cleared the large rocks, but all of the small rocks and stones need to come out, and the soil must be turned,” Turin said. He turned and got to work. Aaron came beside him and the two hoed in silence for about ten minutes. Aaron paused and looked up at the sunrise. He suddenly had an idea. “Turin, who made the sun?”
I think you have an opportunity to put something in here. Does Aaron know how to farm? Turin might have to teach him. Here is a sample of what you can use.
“Not that way, stranger. Like this.”
“You mean, do this?”
“Now you’re getting it.”
(Later on…)
“Seems you are a natural at this, stranger.”
Maybe Aaron is not a natural at this, and it goes a different way. Aaron may have to show off a different skill. This may seem strange, but even though lines of dialogue like that, I think Turin and Aaron may begin to trust each other more. Turin could also discuss some problems on the farm and Aaron may have some questions.
It would be a good idea to validate what I have said with your brothers or other guys on this website. While we are all men, we are all different as well and may communicate with other guys in different ways.
Anyway, that is my answer to this. I hope you find it helpful!
Okay, got to the latest section. So the gospel finally got through to Sabina. Not very surprised, but happy to see it. I’m smiling right now.
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