Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Genre-Writing › Historical › WIP: (A.D. 60. Two friends in Ancient Rome.) Questions
- This topic has 111 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 4 months ago by Ellette Giselle.
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July 5, 2024 at 8:32 am #182046
ALTERNATE ENDING!!!
Julius lowered his head, but beyond the taunts of the voice, he could feel something. It was like the warmth of the sun’s first rays creeping into the courtyard. It was a tiny, tiny sliver of peace. Julius found himself looking back at Marcus and Flavia. I was there for them. A voice whispered in his heart.
“Julius!” thundered a voice.
Julius jumped and turned. Nero was on his feet, glaring down at him. There was a look of thinly vailed fury on his face. “Julius, give me your answer now. Say no, and you are free to go. Say yes, and I throw you to the lions.”
Julius opened his mouth, but no words came.
Nero leaned forward. “Give. Me. Your. Answer.”
A lion roared loud enough to shake the sand beneath Julius’ feet, and a voice whispered, I am here.
Julius closed his eyes. taking in a deep breath, he raised his head. Lord, I believe that You can hear me, because I believe You are there.
There, surrounded all of Rome, standing face to face with the Emperor, with death waiting at his back, Julius made his choice. Oh Lord, Forgive me! Please forgive me! Help me now as you helped Marcus. It’s over… In that moment, Julius felt more strength and peace then he had ever imagined. Everything around him seemed to fade, as if it no longer mattered. As the rest faded, the knowledge that he was not alone grew stronger.
Julius spoke, his voice clearer and more confidant then it had ever been in his life. “Yes, I do. I believe in the one true God! He is the One above all, and I will call upon Him to my dying breath. Do what you will, He is with me.”
OK, there you go. That would be the end. Let me know if you like it better then the first one.
Also…….. does anyone want to see the cover?
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 5, 2024 at 9:53 am #182055I like that!!!!!!
YES I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THE COVER
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 5, 2024 at 10:02 am #182058So keep that version?
OK, here is the cover!!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 5, 2024 at 10:26 am #182067Sorry I’ve been MIA… I just started a YWAM school this week so I’ve been really busy and haven’t had time to read anything on here. I’ll try to get to it sometime if I have a chance! If you need me just tag me so I see it and hopefully can get back to you sooner!
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
July 5, 2024 at 10:28 am #182068Ok, no problem. I finished the whole book, so You’ll just have to scroll through and read the chapters. there are 16 of them.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 5, 2024 at 11:33 am #182075Thank you! Yeah, after the help I got with this, I feel like I could try anything on here and I would have help no matter where I got stuck, because so many of Y’all are on here!
Yeah, everyone on here is really helpful.
OK, there you go. That would be the end. Let me know if you like it better then the first one.
I loved it!!! That was great!!
And I just saw the cover. ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!
I was wondering if either of you would be interested in giving me some feedback on the first book in The Flames of Hope Trilogy. If you don’t have time, that’s fine. However, you helped so much that I completely trust y’all, and that one is my pet, so it’s saying a lot. lol. It’s been through 3? maybe 4 founds of edits, so it’s going to be a lot smoother then this last one. I would love critical feedback, thoughts as a reader, and then any grammar, spelling, etc. that you notice and would be willing to mention. I have a structural editor who’s going to look at it, so I wouldn’t need you to go through trying to find all the edits as much as just anything that you notice as you read. As authors, I would want more of story structure/character/plot edits. Anyone want to do that? 😀
Yes, I would love to!!!
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
July 5, 2024 at 11:39 am #182076I loved it!!! That was great!!
Haha. You happy now.
And I just saw the cover. ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!
Thank you!!!!
Yes, I would love to!!!
Wonderful! I’ll create a new WIP and tag you!
Also, I just dropped a couple scenes on the Chat Chat if you want to take a look. It’s the book I’m currently working on revising.
- This reply was modified 4 months ago by Ellette Giselle.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
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