Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Genre-Writing › Historical › WIP: (A.D. 60. Two friends in Ancient Rome.) Questions
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July 2, 2024 at 7:48 am #181913
Okay, but this makes me think Ignatius is trying to arrest Marcus…
Now someone is starting to get tangled in the is-he-is-he-not? phase. Love it!!
the colosseum scene was the best part
NICE! NAILED IT!! I’m so happy that you liked it. I’m also really glad that it was your favorite. It was my favorite too.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 2, 2024 at 11:58 am #181931Now someone is starting to get tangled in the is-he-is-he-not? phase. Love it!!
I can’t make up my mind about Ignatius XD
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
July 2, 2024 at 12:01 pm #181932That’s right where I want you. XD
Keep an eye out, I’m about to post the next chapter.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 2, 2024 at 12:08 pm #181933Keep an eye out, I’m about to post the next chapter.
Yesss!!
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
July 2, 2024 at 12:46 pm #181934@theshadow here you go! Sorry it took a sec!
Chapter 11
Julius stood staring out of his window. It was not fully dark yet, and he was having a hard time waiting. After almost two months, he would finally come face to face with Marcus again. It seemed like they had been separated by a lifetime. Julius didn’t know what to expect. Love for his friend warred with the fear of all he had been told about the followers of the one God.
Julius looked up at the sky. The sun had set, but the light stubbornly refused to give way to darkness. Julius began pacing. I wonder, is it a good idea to bring Ignatius? What if he scares Marcus? If he does, Marcus might run… or worse, attack us! Perhaps I should go alone and let Marcus get used to me again.
A lot of things could have changed him. What if he’s gone mad, or is possessed by devils? It would be nice to have a strong Prætorian with me if something goes wrong. Argued another part of him.
Marcus is fine.
How do you know?
Because he is. He’s Marcus.
You have no idea what these people have done to him. He could be crazy or violent, or both.
Julius rubbed the heals of his palms against his eyes. He paced back and forth, torn by indecision. At last, Julius threw up his hands in despair. “I’ll go wait by the gate.” he muttered. “That’s where I told Ignatius I’d meet him.”
Grabbing his cloak, Julius stepped outside and hurried through the dusky street.
When he came to the gate, he began pacing again, looking down into the path and wondering where Marcus was. “I bet he’s standing out there right now, waiting for me to come. Perhaps I had better get the initial greeting over with before Ignatius comes. It might be awkward.”
Julius stood looking down the path for a long time. Then, taking a deep breath, he started down the road into the City of the Dead.
***
Marcus held Flavia tightly in the dim light of a single candle. She was crying silently, he could feel her shaking. Caius was there just beyond him, kneeling on the stony ground. Several other young men stood around, and it was one of them who held the candle. Lying on the ground, was Felix. The guard had surrendered his body to Marcus and another just that evening. It had been terrifying, going up to the guards like that. Any moment the guards could have decided to arrest them, but they had seemed to be more interested in the gladiator fights then questioning suspected enemies. After all, the games were a holiday; arrest could wait until later.
Marcus could feel tears blurring his own eyes, but he forced them back. The night was dark and moonless, but that made the candle glow all the brighter. As Marcus watched the small dancing flame, he thought again of those last moments in the arena. Through his grief, he also felt a flicker of peace and joy, knowing that Felix was truly home. He knew that their Lord had said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
Marcus looked down again to where his friend lay, covered by a cloak. Lord, if ever I must face what he did, give me strength like you gave to Felix.
“Come, we had better take him down before anyone sees us,” whispered Caius.
***
Julius had not realized how fast darkness could fall. Groping almost blindly, he made his way down the path, moving from one place of darker shadow to the next. He strained his eyes for the tower, and his ears for anything that might haunt these tombs. Julius desperately wished he had waited for Ignatius, but it was too dark to even begin to find his way back now.
Julius came to a standstill. “Curse you Luna, for hiding the moon,” he hissed in anger toward the moon goddess. “Janus help me find my way!”
Julius moved forward again. His foot caught and he stumbled, falling to hands and knees. Swearing blackly under his breath, Julius struggled to his feet and stood looking about. Terror was creeping through him, causing everything to seem evil and menacing. Julius shivered and looked over his shoulder for the hundredth time. A sound was carried toward him in the stillness. It sounded like a voice.
Julius spun in the direction, his heart racing. This time there was another sound, like the sob of a girl. A chill of terror crawled up his spine, and Julius wondered if it was the dead coming to capture him.
Light flickered for a moment, disappeared, and then flickered again. Julius was so frightened by the darkness, that he decided going and seeing who had the light was les of a risk. Before he could argue himself out of the choice, Julius moved toward it.
***
Marcus followed Caius and the others, his arm still about Flavia. She was shaking so hard from suppressed sobs that she could hardly walk. Marcus looked ahead to where the others were moving into the abandoned house and heading for the cellar. “Caius,” he called softly.
Caius turned, the candle in his hand casting a glow over his face.
“Caius, I need to wait up here for a few minutes,” said Marcus. He glanced at Flavia, and Caius nodded his understanding. Thaddeus would be having a hard enough time, he didn’t need to see his sister so upset.
Marcus gently guided Flavia to a large chunk of stonework that had fallen in the main room. The others had already gone down into the cellar, closing the trap door behind them, and all that was visible was the lines in the wooden floor. Marcus sat down with Flavia, and she covered her face with her hands, a sob braking from her. Marcus wrapped his arms about her and she cried, choking, breathless sobs that shook her whole body. Marcus held her close and stroked her back with his hand. “It’s alright Flavia, it’s over now. He’s safe,” he whispered.
“It’s not juts the death, it’s the way they did it,” choked out Flavia between sobs.
“Flavia, it was quick,” said Marcus, gently. “The beasts refused to attack him, and a soldier did it. It was one thrust of the blade and then it was over, Flavia. They wanted it over quickly so as to cause the crowd to forget what happened.”
Flavia had stopped crying so hard, and she lifted her head. “What happened?”
“I have never seen anything like it,” Marcus replied, looking toward the doorway where the stars glittered outside. “The tigers came in raging mad, but Felix got down on his knees and began to recite the 23rd Psalm. They saw him and they came at him, but in the last few seconds, they stopped.”
“What do you mean?” asked Flavia, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
“They lay down on either side of him, and then Felix reached out and touched one. He put his hand right on the creature’s head, and it did nothing. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen, and it stunned the crowd to silence. Nero tried to display his power, but instead, God used that moment to show His!” Marcus slowly turned his eyes away from the door and looked down at Flavia. He could sense in the darkness that she was looking up at him, and he reached out a hand, placing it against her tear-streaked cheek.
“Was… was he brave when they questioned him?” she asked, softly.
“Very brave,” whispered Marcus.
“Had they… had they hurt him?” Flavia questioned, her voice choked.
Marcus could feel fresh tears trailing over his hand. He saw again Felix limping, the torn tunic, the blood trailing down his arm and dripping from limp fingers to the sand. He absently stroked Flavia’s cheek with his thumb. How could he tell her how hurt Felix had been? He swallowed and looked down at her. “Whatever pain he faced is gone, Flavia. It was nothing compared to the joy he is experiencing now.”
He felt Flavia nod, and heard her sniff.
At that moment, Marcus sensed something watching him. He looked to the doorway and started. There, blocking out the starlight, was the silhouette of a man.
Marcus sprang up and stood in front of Flavia, blocking her from sight. The man in the doorway jumped back, as if frightened. There was a long silence, and then a wavering voice spoke. “Man, fate, god, ghost, or whatever you are, I beg that you would lead me out of this endless maze of darkness.”
Marcus had heard that voice before, and he squinted slightly. Then, with a jolt, he knew. “Julius?”
“You are a ghost then, I’m sure of it,” stammered the other, falling to his knees. “Please just tell me the way out! I beg of you! I’ll do anything, only get me away from here.”
Marcus stepped forward, hardly daring to believe what he saw. “Julius, I’m not a ghost. It’s me, Marcus.”
Julius cowered a moment, looking up at Marcus uneasily. Marcus dropped to one knee and reached out for Julius’ hand. Julius flinched at his touch and choked on his breath. “Julius, there is no need to be afraid of me. Don’t you remember my voice. And feel this,” Marcus moved his friend’s fingers to touch the signet ring her wore. “This is my ring, the one I gave you, the one you left at the tower.”
Slowly Julius relaxed, recognizing either the ring, his voice, or what could be seen of his face by starlight. “You really are Marcus?” he asked, hardly daring to believe.
“Yes, yes I am,” Marcus laughed softly. He slapped Julius on the back. “What has been happening to cause you to be so worked up?”
Julius laughed unsteadily, and it seemed for a moment that he was on the verge of tears. He coughed a little and controlled himself. “Fates and Furies Marcus, I’ve been stumbling about these accursed tombs trying to find you!”
“But why didn’t you bring a torch?” asked Marcus.
“I… I was going to––– I mean… well, I forgot,” replied Julius. He took Marcus’ offered hand and got to his feet. “Oh gods Marcus, I’ve never been so glad to see anyone in my life.”
Flavia had slipped to Marcus’ side, and Julius started. “Fates! What is that?”
Marcus laughed quietly. “Julius, you’re as jumpy as I’ve ever seen you.” He put his arm about Flavia. “This, Julius, is my wife, Flavia.”
For a moment there was a long silence. “Your… your wife?” managed Julius.
“Yes,” replied Marcus.
“But I thought… well I always…” Julius trailed off.
“Much has changed,” Marcus said softly.
Julius nodded. He stood and looked at the couple in the shadows. He couldn’t see much of Flavia, be he could see her nestled against Marcus like a fragile little bird. In that moment, he wanted nothing to ever threaten her or Marcus.
“Tell me, why did you send the ring?” asked Marcus.
Julius looked up slowly. “Well I… I thought…. That is… Well Marcus, I don’t think it’s safe… I mean––”
Marcus held up a hand and froze. “Hush, what is that?”
No one moved, and the only sound was there breath.
At that moment, a tall figure stepped into the doorway, the harsh lines of his helmet silhouetted against the night sky. Torchlight flared outside, and there was the sound of steps. The light caught the soldier full on, and reflected across the face, revealing him as a Prætorian. It flashed over Marcus, Flavia, and Julius, who stood frozen in horror.
“Ignatius?” whispered Julius.
“Julius, what a surprise,” Ignatius said in a low voice. “I see that you were a traitor all along.”
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 2, 2024 at 2:08 pm #181936Here’s the next one. I wonder what happened to Sara. She had said she had some thoughts, but it looks like she vanished. lol. Let me know what you think!
Chapter 12
“Ignatius, what’s going on?” demanded Julius.
“I’m doing what I came to do all along. It took me a while to wonder about without your guidance, but I managed. It seems you decided to take matters into your own hands. That was very unwise.”
Julius darted a glance toward Marcus. He was backed against the wall, with Flavia behind him. The look in his eyes was of of sadness and quiet resignation. There was no escape, there were too many soldiers outside.
Julius looked back at Ignatius. “You said you were coming alone, to talk with him.”
“I said what I needed to,” replied Ignatius, stepping forward. “You were blinded by anger and grief, and it was a simple thing to get what we needed. It seems, however, that you are not of one mind with us. That is dangerous, for we are of one mind with the Emperor.” He lunged and grabbed Julius, twisting a hand in his collar and yanking the boy close. He slipped a dagger from his belt. “It seems you might just be one of them,” he hissed.
“No, I’m not!” yelled Julius, twisting and trying to pull free. “Ignatius, I’m not one of them, I swear it!”
“I aught to slit your throat for disobeying me,” snarled Ignatius. He brought the blade around and forced Julius’s head back.
“No! Don’t kill him!” cried Marcus.
Ignatius looked over at him. “Why not?”
Marcus looked at Julius, who was trembling in Ignatius’ grip. He had betrayed them–– on purpose or by accident remained to be seen. However, if he died, Marcus new he would be lost. He looked up at Ignatius. “He speaks the truth, he is not one of us. He came only because of a friendship. I believe he came to try and turn me before it was ‘too late’ and I was caught”
Ignatius seemed to be thinking a moment. Then he sheathed his blade and flung Julius to the floor. “I’m not sure if I believe you, but that can be decided later.” He motioned with a hand and several soldiers stepped into the room.
Two of the soldiers grabbed Marcus, and for a moment he felt sickening terror wash over him. He knew where this was going to end, and he didn’t know if he had the strength. Lord please help me!
He saw one of the soldier’s binding Flavia’s hands behind her back, the torchlight glinting off her pale face. Marcus felt ropes digging into his own wrists, and his hands began to tingle numbly. He looked over and saw two of the soldiers pulling Julius up. He was twisting and turning, yelling and sobbing. “I’m not one of them! I’m not one of them! I swear it! Oh gods! Oh Jove! I’m not! I swear it by Jupiter! I swear it by the fates!”
Ignatius laughed under his breath as the soldiers subdued Julius. He turned and came to stand before Marcus. “I remember you, the boy of questions.” he smiled, but his eyes glinted dangerously. “I should have known you would become one of them. You and I will have some… conversations, later.”
He turned and snapped his fingers. “Let’s get moving. We need to be away from here before the Furies drive us out, or the ghosts awake.”
***
Marcus leaned against the cold stone wall and stared up at the roof. He had his arm about Flavia, and her head rested against his chest. She was asleep, and Marcus felt her peaceful, even breaths. Marcus could feel a nagging fear at the back of his mind. he knew what was coming, and a part of him shrank back from it in terror. However, Marcus could feel God’s perfect peace surrounding him, giving him courage and strength. He glanced over to where Julius was huddled in the corner. He was wrapped in his cloak, but even in the dim light for the torches outside the barred door, Marcus could see him shaking and he heard his teeth rattling.
Marcus smiled sadly. Lord, Julius is scared to death. He’s sure to come through this alright, as he does not claim to follow You. But please Lord, use this terror to turn him toward You. Help me to know what to say to him, and when to say it.
Marcus felt extremely tired and he yawned. Settling back and resting his head against the stone wall, he closed his eyes and slept.
Across the room, Julius sat and shivered. He was cold, but worse then that, he was terrified. He was so scared he could hardly breathe, and he was sure he would die of fright any moment. It wasn’t fair that he was locked up like this! They had to believe him! He wanted nothing to do with Marcus and his stupid God. He was getting out and going home. Ignatius had to know that he wasn’t a Christian. But Ignatius was also angry with him. Ignatius had tricked him and come to arrest Marcus. He had never been trying to help him. Yet… Marcus was an enemy of the Empire. They said it was people like Marcus who burned Rome. But Marcus didn’t seem like someone who would conspire like that. In fact, Marcus seemed change, but in a good way.
Julius glanced over and saw, to his surprise, that Marcus and Flavia were asleep. “How can they be sleeping!” whispered Julius. He shook his head slowly. How could one sleep with a fate like this before them? Marcus seemed so sure. In fact, Julius could almost believe that he wasn’t afraid to die. That can’t be possible. Everyone fears death. How could they not?
Julius tried to close his eyes, but when he did all he saw was lions. He opened his eyes again, gasping for breath. “Oh Apollo,” he half sobbed. “Get me out of this!”
Julius leaned miserably against the wall and continued to shiver in fear. After trying to no avail to pray to the gods, Julius let out a sigh of despair. “They don’t listen!” he moaned. “I would never be here if they did! Oh curse you, you gods, you haters of men! You’ve done this to me on purpose! It’s all spite! What have I ever done to you?”
He let his head fall back against the wall and began to cry silently. Finally, he drew in a shuddering breath and turned his head to look at Marcus. He was sleeping as peacefully, as if he were safe in his home in bed with his wife, instead of both of them here in the Prætorian keep. Julius didn’t know what was going on with Marcus, but he couldn’t bare to spend another moment in silence, trapped with his fear. “Marcus,” he hissed.
Marcus didn’t even stir.
“Marcus, wake up!”
Still no reply.
Julius slid across the floor and reached out, touching Marcus’ arm. “Marcus?”
Marcus opened his eyes and looked at Julius for a moment. Then he shifted and rubbed a hand over his face.
“Marcus––”
Marcus put a finger to his lips. “Don’t wake Flavia, she’s worn out,” he whispered.
Julius nodded and sat back, pulling his cloak about himself. Marcus adjusted his position, careful not to wake Flavia. She stirred slightly but then relaxed. Marcus looked over at Julius. “Is everything alright?” he asked, softly.
“Is everything alright? Are you mad!” cried Julius, in a whisper. “We’re imprisoned by the Prætorian as traitors of the Empire, we are most likely going to die, and you ask if everything is alright?”
Marcus smiled. “I see what you mean. I guess I meant besides all that.”
Julius just stared at him. “Marcus, what has happened to you? Are you not even bothered by all this?”
Marcus nodded. “I am, Julius. I confess I am frightened. Sometimes the fear is so sickening I think I’m going to pass out. I’m weak, and I could never do this on my own. It is God’s power within me that gives me the strength, courage, and peace you see. I will never be alone, Julius. The Lord is on my side, my God is with me, what can man do to me?”
“Kill you,” hissed Julius.
“Perhaps they will,” agreed Marcus. “But it will only be because God is ready for me to come to Him. When I die here, I will live forever with my God and Savior. He has gone to prepare a place for me, and when it is time, He will bring me there.”
Julius shook his head slowly. “I don’t understand.”
“Will you let me tell you the story?” asked Marcus.
Julius hesitated, shifting uneasily. “I don’t know…”
“What harm will it do? They already think you’re one of us.”
“About that… Marcus, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I swear it,” said Julius. “I ran into Ignatius. He said he was a friend of your and was looking for you. He promised to help me convince you to come back. He said he wanted to help you. We were supposed to meet last night to come and talk with you, but then I got impatient and went alone. I got lost and… well… then everything happened. I never meant for you to get hurt!”
“I believe you,” replied Marcus.
“I… I feel like this is my fault,” said Julius, drawing patterns on the floor with his finger. “I… I shouldn’t have trusted him.”
“I forgive you,” replied Marcus.
Julius looked up and found Marcus looking back at him with sincerity. “You mean that?”
Marcus nodded.
“You would just forgive me? Even though you might die for my mistake?”
“Yes,” replied Marcus, simply.
“Why?”
“Because Christ forgave me.”
Julius pondered this for a while, and Marcus leaned back against the wall. His eyes were drifting closed again when Julius spoke. “I just don’t understand.”
Marcus opened his eyes and looked at him. “You never will, until you see the truth.”
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 2, 2024 at 3:12 pm #181941@theshadow and here you are! I’ll stop in a minute to draw your lovely character. 😀
Chapter 13
Julius’ leaned his head wearily against the wall. His eyes felt like they had sand in them, and he was weary beyond imagining. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes and sleep. The nightmares were worse then the waking fear.
Marcus was asleep again. He had wanted to talk more, but Julius hadn’t wanted to. He was to confused and frightened already. He didn’t need Marcus’ new belief to add to the equation.
The sound of iron-shod sandals on the stairs startled Julius. He sat bolt upright, breathing quickly. The steps drew nearer, and Julius braced, terror gripping him with cold hands and choking him. The torchlight wavered, and then a Prætorian stopped in front of the bared door. Looking up, Julius saw it was Ignatius. The young man was smiling, but it was a smile that never reached his eyes. “Good morning, Julius. I trust you slept well.”
“No I didn’t,” snapped back Julius. “Ignatius, this is all your fault. You know I have nothing to do with their belief. Get me out of here.”
“You’re in quiet a position to be giving orders,” replied Ignatius.
Julius clenched his teeth.
“As for it being my fault, this is all your doing. You’re the one who got me involved in this to begin with. And of course, you disobeyed my direct order and tried to do things on your own. Now you’re reaping the consequences,” finished Ignatius.
Julius shook his head warily. “You can’t do that. You know I’m innocent.”
“Oh I do, but I’m not very happy with you right now,” chuckled Ignatius.
“You can’t do that,” whispered Julius.
“I’m a Prætorian. I can do what I want,” retorted Ignatius.
Julius cold feel cold sweat running down his back. He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand.
Ignatius smirked. “Don’t worry. You won’t die if you don’t do anything stupid. I just plan on scaring you enough that you’ll never think to cross me again.” He turned his attention to where Marcus and Flavia slept. A strange expression crossed his face. “They are strange. Always these Christians can rest with such peace, even though their fate is sealed. They must be deeply entangled in their dark arts, or perhaps they no longer live in reality. Perhaps they live in a separate world with e spirits, and what we see before us is not real, but only a vessel for their demonic arts.”
Julius shuddered at the thought.
The hard smile returned to Ignatius’ face. He pulled for a handful of keys and fit one into the lock. It screeched with rust, and Marcus started. He and Flavia looked up as Ignatius opened the door. “Marcus, won’t you join me, old friend,” he said with a sneer. “I have some things I would very much like to talk with you about.”
Marcus slowly rose, and Flavia stood with him. He looked at Ignatius, and the expression on the Prætorian’s face chilled him. He turned to Flavia and gentle kissed her cheek. “Courage dear,” he whispered. Then he turned and walked toward Ignatius.
They stepped out into the hall, and Ignatius closed and locked the door again. Two guards waited in the hall, and they moved to flank Marcus. Ignatius walked down the hall, and Marcus followed him. His breath was a little unsteady, and his heart raced. Lord give me courage. He prayed silently. He tried not to think about where they might be going, and he tried not to think about what Ignatius was planning. The look on the young Prætorian’s face had not been good.
At last they came to a stop, and Ignatius opened another door. They entered, and Ignatius motioned for Marcus to take seat on the wooden chair in the center of the room. Marcus did so, watching Ignatius uneasily.
Ignatius nodded to the guards and they closed the door, standing silently on either side of if it. Ignatius crossed his arms and looked down at Marcus. “So, that conversation we had, it wasn’t so innocent as it seemed, was it?”
Marcus looked up at him. “I was looking for the truth, and I found it.”
“Did you now,” scoffed Ignatius. “It’s a pity this ‘truth’ only leads to death.”
“No, with respect sir, it leads to life,” replied Marcus.
Ignatius smirked, but then his face hardened again. “Your friend, Julius, said that you have contact with the ringleaders of this conspiracy.”
“It is no conspiracy,” replied Marcus.
“Answer me. Do you or do you not have contact with the leaders?”
“Yes sir, I do,” replied Marcus.
“Then you will tell me their names, give me a thorough description of what they look like, and also report all entrances to the catacombs you know of, and which ones are most often used.”
Marcus shook his head. “I can’t.”
“Yes you can,” replied Ignatius.
Marcus straightened. “What I mean is, I won’t.”
Ignatius struck him across the face and Marcus gasped. “Don’t you dare talk to me that way,” growled Ignatius. “You will do as I say, or I will make you.”
Marcus lifted his head defiantly.
Ignatius turned away and let out a slow breath. When he looked back, his face was gentler. “Marcus, you seem like a good boy. I would hate for you, or that pretty girl of yours, to get hurt. Tell me what I want to know, and I’ll let you both go.”
Marcus shook his head, his face still stinging from Ignatius’ blow. “I won’t tell you.”
“Then you will die.”
“So be it,” replied Marcus.
“And so will the girl.”
Marcus hesitated. Hadn’t he vowed to protect Flavia? He had held her hands, looked her in the eyes, and before all he vowed to love and protect her. Yet, Ignatius was mots likely lying. And even if he was not, they could not put the others in danger. Flavia would rather die and so would he. Lord, I’ve protected her in every way I can. Now I’m powerless. I give her to You, Lord. Keep her safe. He prayed silently.
“Well?” asked Ignatius.
“I will not betray them to you,” replied Marcus.
Ignatius stepped forward. “Marcus, if you continue on like this, Caesar has given orders for you to die in the arena.”
“I know,” replied Marcus, in a low voice.
“Do you realize what will happen?” demanded Ignatius. His voice dropped lower. “Tomorrow, before the crowds, you will face your death. You’ll be standing there, alone. The crowd will roar for blood, and there will be no mercy. You’ll hear the gates rising behind you, and you’ll turn. Out will come a lion. It’ll be mad with hunger and the guards will have antagonized it beforehand. With a roar it’ll race out into the arena. It will most likely run the perimeter as the crowd cheers. Then, it will turn and face you. Creeping low, it’ll stalk you down. If you run, it will be on you in a moment. If you stand, the end is still inevitable. You’ll hear it’s low growls, feel it inching nearer, seeing ever muscle taught to spring.”
Marcus felt dread creeping up his spine, and the room seemed to have gone cold. The flames of the torches danced, casting dark shadows over the room.
Ignatius leaned forward and his voice sank even lower. “For one moment all will be still. Then the creature will leap upon you. His claws will tare deep into your back, his teeth with cut deeply. If you’re fortunate, he’ll take you by the throat. Most likely you’ll die from loss of blood and pain as he tears you to pieces.”
Marcus was unable to stop the shudder that shook him. He could feel the color draining from his face and his mouth had gone dry.
A smile curled up at the corner’s of Ignatius’ mouth, and his teeth flashed in the torchlight. “I don’t think you want that, do you?”
“No,” whispered Marcus, hoarsely. “No I don’t.” He drew in a breath and lifted his head. “I don’t want it, but if it must happen, then I know I will not be alone. I will be given the strength I need to face even such a death as you have described.”
Ignatius straightened, and his hands clenched to fists at his sides. “Marcus, be very careful. The line you walk is a dangerous one,” he said though his teeth.
Marcus squared his shoulders. “It is a line I walk with my Savior to lead me.”
Ignatius hissed through his teeth. “Marcus, you will tell me what I need to know. You will die your miserable death in the arena, but not before I have what I need.”
“I will never tell you,” retorted Marcus.
Ignatius grabbed him by the collar and leaned close. “I will force the truth from you yet. Tell me, or you will regret it.”
Marcus shook his head, silently pleading for strength.
Ignatius nodded to one of the guards, he stepped forward and grabbed Marcus’ wrists, yanking his hands behind the chair and binding the tightly. Marcus could feel his heart racing, and he clenched his teeth together tightly.
“Start talking,” snarled Ignatius.
Marcus made no reply.
Ignatius struck him in the side of the head again, and Marcus sucked in a breath of pain as the room spun and pain crashed into him.
“You think that’s pain,” laughed Ignatius. “You have have not even dreamed what I can do to you.”
Marcus closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. God help me to stay silent. Don’t let me speak!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 2, 2024 at 4:03 pm #181944I am so sorry…I just can’t keep up with the ammount of chapters you write
That’s insane XD XD
I will try to go over chapter 3/4 soon, I forgot where I left off!!
But about the plot, I was just wondering what your storyline looked like.
I was concerned that you might not have enough plot for a full novel, but since it’s a novella, it shouldn’t be a problem. I was also wondering if it was really important to show Marcus’s conversion because it slows the plot down a little bit.
Maybe if you started the story after Marcus converts it would flow better. You could still have the Colosseum scene as the opener, but with Marcus as a Christian already. This would make Marcus really, really uncomfortable and angry, making Julius even more confused and upset.
Idk, it might just add more depth and internal conflict.
Sorry for the ramble XD I’m having trouble putting coherent thoughts together, I’m exhausted!!!
These are just suggestions, don’t take them if you don’t feel like they work.
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 2, 2024 at 4:10 pm #181945Chapter four was really smooth and was a lot easier to follow! I don’t have hardly any comments.
Except maybe one thing…maybe give more detail about why Julius is so mad that Marcus is missing. It just kind of shows Julius “throwing a fit” for no apparent reason. Maybe show us his thoughts about why is is scared/angry and where he thinks Marcus may have gone?
(Maybe you did this already and I accidentally skimmed over it…but maybe just make it more apparent I guess XD)
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 2, 2024 at 4:12 pm #181946Sorry it took a sec!
That’s okay!
“Julius, what a surprise,” Ignatius said in a low voice. “I see that you were a traitor all along.”
I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU COULDNT BE TRUSTED IGNATIUS!!!
Chapter 11 and 12 were great, although it seems to me like more than two months had passed since Julius and Marcus last saw each other. Maybe that’s just me though. Hmm, I can’t think of anything else right now. Ughh, Ignatius… I have some not nice words for you!
I’ll stop in a minute to draw your lovely character. 😀
Thanks!
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
July 3, 2024 at 8:01 am #181960I am so sorry…I just can’t keep up with the ammount of chapters you write
Haha, that’s ok! Thank you for the help you have been giving! It’s been awesome!
I was concerned that you might not have enough plot for a full novel,
I wanted it to be a novella, I just wasn’t sure if I could fully develop the plot in a novella, but it seems like I will be able to.
Maybe if you started the story after Marcus converts it would flow better.
Problem is…. he would already be underground most likely, because he wouldn’t survive long in society without making compromises or being caught. Otherwise, I would have done that.
Maybe show us his thoughts about why is is scared/angry and where he thinks Marcus may have gone?
Ok, I can pull that out a bit more! Hey, I’m glad that chapter flows better!!!
I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU COULDNT BE TRUSTED IGNATIUS!!!
Haha!
Chapter 11 and 12 were great, although it seems to me like more than two months had passed since Julius and Marcus last saw each other. Maybe that’s just me though. Hmm, I can’t think of anything else right now. Ughh, Ignatius… I have some not nice words for you!
I’ll check the timeline again. as for Ignatius, just wait until chapter 13. I’ll post it right now. Wait. I already did. Oh, I see why your mad! lol. Hahaha.
I’ll get another chapter out soon. I finished your character, I just have to take a picture and send him. My little sis is asleep in the room he’s in though, so for now he’s a captive until she wakes up. lol.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 3, 2024 at 10:49 am #181971And here you go! Enjoy!!!
Chapter 14
Julius clenched his teeth to stop them from chattering. He shifted uneasily and leaned back against the wall. Ignatius betrayed me. He tricked me, and now he’s angry with me. It isn’t fair. I haven’t done anything wrong. I was only trying to do what was right, and now I’m locked up like a criminal.
Julius looked over at Flavia. She was sitting in the opposite corner, her head bowed and hands folded over her knees. She had been like that since the minute Marcus left. How long has he been gone? Wondered Julius. It must have been at least two hours by now. Perhaps Ignatius really is trying to talk to him about all of this. Maybe he’ll be able to reason with him and get him to change his mind. Julius let out a slow breath. If Ignatius can convince Marcus to change his mind, then I’ll forgive him for doing this to me. But I’ll give Marcus a piece of my mind before this is through.
Julius stared up at the roof. Almost unknowingly, he began to count the blocks of stone that formed it. After almost thirty minutes he shook his head and shifted his gaze to look about the room again. Flavia had her head resting against the wall, and her face was pale. She was staring off into the distance, and Julius wondered what she was thinking. He opened his mouth, then stopped. He shook his head and turned away. He couldn’t bring himself to speak to her. Not without Marcus here.
Julius began thinking again. Do the gods even listen? I know they don’t care about us, but I’ve done so much to please them, surely that should gain some acknowledgment. Why did they just leave me like that? Why won’t they listen? Can they even hear?
Don’t be an idiot. Reprimanded another part of him.
But what if they don’t listen at all.
Why should they listen to someone like you?
Because of all that I have done for them. This was the time I needed them most, and they turned a deaf ear.
Well who are you to demand they listen?
What if Marcus is on the right track.
Stop it.
No, I mean just for argument’s sake. Supposing what Marcus said was true, the gods aren’t real. However, there is a God that actually cares about us.
You had better stop before you get in a worse situation then you are in.
Julius sighed and closed his eyes. It’s all so tangled. I don’t know who’s right and what’s real anymore. I just want it to make sense.
***
Marcus hung his head, breathing unevenly through parted lips. Blood trickled from his nose and mouth and dripped to the floor. He could feel the bruising beginning along his face from the times Ignatius had repeatedly struck him. He was in more pain then he could ever remember. He could feel someone cutting the ropes that bound his hands again, and he vaguely wondered what they planned on doing now.
One of the guards flung Marcus to the floor, and he lay there, struggling for breath as the world spun. Ignatius kicked him savagely, his iron shod boot driving Marcus’ breath from his lungs. The two guards hauled him up, and Marcus closed his eyes, lacking the strength to stand. He could feel their cruel hands digging into his arms. Unconsciousness danced at the surface, and Marcus would have gladly welcomed it, but it slipped out of reach. Ignatius’ voice sounded, but seemed as though it belonged to another world.
“You are very stubborn. I admire your strength, but you do know this can’t end well for you.”
Marcus slowly raised his head. “I never chose to follow Christ because it would be easy,” he rasped.
Ignatius laughed harshly. “I would take great pleasure in finishing you off myself, but the knowledge of the terror you will face tomorrow is satisfaction enough.”
Marcus didn’t have the strength to reply.
Ignatius snapped his fingers, and the guards dragged Marcus back into the hall. He stumbled, trying to keep his footing, but it was no use. He hadn’t the strength. The hall was going in and out of focus, and nothing seemed real. Marcus couldn’t tell what was happening. Then, quiet suddenly, he found himself falling. He reached out to catch himself, but cried out when his hands hit against the ground. He collapsed and lay still, hoping that unconsciousness would take him.
Their were voices, and strange sounds. The next moment, Marcus heard a cry. Gentle hands touched him, and he slowly opened his eyes. “Flavia?” he whispered.
“Oh Marcus! What have they done?” she cried.
Marcus felt her arms about him, and the next moment his head was cradled in her lap and she was gently pushing his sweat-soaked hair from his forehead. “Marcus what happened?” she asked, tears filling her eyes.
“I’m alright,” replied Marcus, forcing his voice to remain steady.
“Who did this to you?” demanded another voice.
Marcus looked over and saw Julius. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
Julius was standing frozen in horror. He watched as Flavia tenderly kissed Marcus’ blood-streaked face. Marcus’ tunic was torn, and through the tares Julius could see the bleeding wounds along his chest and shoulders. Marcus’ mouth and nose were bleeding, and there was a cut along his cheekbone. Flavia lifted one of his hands, and Marcus winced, sucking in a breath of pain. “Oh Marcus!” gasped Flavia.
Julius hurried forward and knelt beside her. When he saw Marcus’ hand he pulled back. Marcus’ palm was torn and bleeding, and there was a long burn up his arm. Flavia gently lifted the other hand to reveal the same damage. Julius turned away. He heard Flavia start crying softly, and Marcus tried to whisper comfort to her, telling her it wasn’t as bad as it looked.
Julius clenched his fists as tears stung his eyes. “I’ll kill whoever did this to you,” he said through his teeth.
Marcus painfully turned his head. “No Julius, leave it be,” he said, hoarsely.
“Was it Ignatius? Did he do this to you?” demanded Julius.
Marcus didn’t answer, and Julius knew by his silence that it was so. He sprang to his feet. “Curse him. Curse him to the depth of Hades,” he snarled.
“Julius–––”
Julius wasn’t listening. He began storming up and down the length of the cell. Marcus struggled to push himself up, but fell back with a gasp of pain.
“Let him be,” whispered Flavia.
Marcus lay and watched as Julius paced and cursed under his breath. God please use this to bring him to You.
Flavia let go of Marcus and pulled up the skirt of the long dress-like tunic she wore. Getting her teeth into the fabric near the seem. She bit and pulled until there was a popping sound. Pushing her fingers into the hole, she tore a long strip of fabric lose and began to wrap it gentle about Marcus’ hand. He sucked in a breath, and winced. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Marcus smiled at her and brushed a finger against her cheek.
Flavia easily tore free another strip of fabric and began to work on his other hand.
The sound of taring caused Julius to pause. He turned and watched. Flavia was bent over Marcus, tenderly bandaging her hand. Marcus was looking up at her and whispering something. Flavia nodded and smiled, wiping tears from her eyes. Julius felt his own eyes stinging. He couldn’t bare to see Marcus like this. He had always been the strongest and fastest of the two, and now he was lying on the ground broken and bleeding. Julius knew that whatever Ignatius had done, the blame belonged first to another. I did this. I led Ignatius to them. I drove Marcus out instead of protecting him. This is all my fault.
Julius turned away and covered his face with his hands. He couldn’t even cry out to the gods. They didn’t listen. Julius had never felt so wretched, confused, and alone in his life. He sank down and leaned against the wall, unable to watch the young couple. They deserve to be living a joyous, peaceful life together. Now, because of my actions, they are suffering. He thought. I’ve done this! This is all my fault!
***
Marcus opened his eyes and blinked in the torchlight. Flavia was lying at his side, her arm about him. Carefully, so as not to disturb her, Marcus slowly sat up. The pain had turned to a dull ache that flashed up now and then. He was able to breath a little easier, and he turned to look about the room. Julius was sitting in the corner with his head on his up-drawn knees. Marcus wondered if he was asleep. “Julius,” he whispered.
Julius looked up. His face was pale, and eyes were read from lack of sleep, crying, or both.
“Julius, can I talk to you?” asked Marcus.
Julius nodded slowly.
Marcus carefully got to his feet, a wave of dizziness nearly knocking him over. He walked to Julius’ side and sat down, wincing in pain from the movement. “You look upset,” he said, quietly.
“Marcus, what happened in there was my fault. I did this to you, because I led Ignatius to you by giving him your message and agreeing to help him find you. I did it when I threw you out that night. This is all my fault.”
Marcus considered this for a moment. “You are right in part, but that doesn’t take any blame from Ignatius for what he did. You did do wrong though.”
“How can you even stand to talk to me?” asked Julius. “I have destroyed the future you and Flavia had together!”
“Julius, I know that whatever happens is God’s plan. There are reasons why we were captured. He is going to use us somehow, and through whatever happens, glory will be brought to His name.”
“And you’re ready to trust Him, just like that, after everything that happened?” asked Julius.
Marcus nodded.
“How?”
Marcus was quiet for a moment. At last, he spoke. “It’s hard to explain until you’ve experienced it. What I say will probably sound like fool’s talk to you. Julius, when I accepted Christ and turned to Him as the Lord and Savior of my life, everything changed. I have no anxiety for the future, because I know that He is in control. I don’t have to worry about fighting to protect myself, because He is always with me, and He loves and cares for me. I can face death unafraid, because He holds my life in His hands. If I must lay it down for Him, I know it’s not the end. Death is only a doorway into eternity. But, is it an eternity spent away from God in the darkness of our just punishment for our sins, or is it eternity spent at His side, as his adopted son? I know, because of my faith in Christ, that I will not be cast out, for His blood covers my sins.”
Julius was silent.
Marcus breathed a silent prayer, and then went. He told Julius everything, from the very beginning, to Christ’s death and resurrection. He spoke of his own faith, of what God had done for Him, and of his complete trust in his Savior.
Julius listened in silence the whole time, not speaking a word.
Marcus didn’t know how many hours had passed, but he pushed aside his own pain and weariness. Placing a bandaged hand on his friend’s shoulder, he spoke. “Julius, what if I told you that you could have the strength to step forward when all the rest shrink back. You could face obstacles knowing that if you fall, you will be caught. You could let go of the fears that race around your mind, and simple rest in the knowledge that you will be taken care of. And Julius, you would never be alone.”
Julius slowly turned his head and looked at Marcus. “Is that really possible?”
“With Christ, all things are possible,” replied Marcus.
Julius looked away. He covered his face with his hands. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “I don’t know, I don’t know!”
“Oh Lord, please, please help Julius to see. Draw him to Your side,” whispered Marcus.
After a long silence, Julius spoke, his voice muffled in his hands. “You told me that He will really listen? That He… He cares about us?”
“Yes,” replied Marcus. “He cares about you so much that if you were the only sinner on this earth, He would have died just for you. He will never leave your side, and He will give you the strength to face anything.”
Julius was silent for a long moment. Then he spoke, carefully, weighing each word. “Just… just supposing someone wanted to believe in your God. What… what would they need to do?”
“Confess their sins, believe that Christ is Lord, and follow Him, turning away from the ways of the past,” replied Marcus.
“Then… then why are you all so stubborn. So many have died because they wouldn’t say a few words.”
“Giving glory to one of the gods is something we cannot do. That would be to acknowledge them over God. The Lord has commanded that we have no other gods.”
“Marcus, you Christians give yourselves away. You would never have to make such a choice, if when asked, you didn’t come straight out with the truth and say you are Christians,” continued Julius.
“We must confess with our mouths and believe in our hearts that Christ is Lord,” replied Marcus. “Jesus said, ‘everyone who acknowledges Me before men, I also will acknowledge before My Father who is in heaven, but whoever denies Me before men, I also will deny before My Father who is in heaven.’ We cannot deny our Lord Julius, even if it means death.”
Julius was silent. He began to draw patterns on the floor with his finger, refusing to look up at Marcus.
Marcus let out a slow breath and leaned back against the wall. He closed his eyes wearily. Just for a moment…
***
Marcus jolted awake as the door screeched on it’s rusty hinges. He looked up and saw Ignatius standing there, a cruel smile on his face. Marcus scrambled up, followed by Julius.
Flavia was rubbing her eyes and looking about with the confusion of interrupted sleep clinging to her.
Ignatius pointed to them. “All three of you, come with me.”
Marcus stepped to Flavia’s side and took her hand. Julius moved away from them. “I’m not one of them!” he cried.
Ignatius laughed.
Julius caught the saddened look in Marcus’ eyes and he turned away.
“Poor Julius, such a little cowered,” taunted Ignatius. “You’d do anything to save yourself, even throw your friends to the lions.” He snorted at his own wit.
Julius shuddered, for the term suddenly become very literal. He was ashamed at his actions, but he was too afraid to think of doing anything else but try to save himself.
“Don’t worry,” continued Ignatius. “You’ll get out of this. You’ll stand before the Emperor and all of Rome, and then you’ll say you’re not one of them. Nero will be able to display his mercy by letting you go, which will heighten the love of the people for him, and you will have sworn your oath before all of Rome. It is a victory at all angles.”
Julius looked away, hating what he had done, and what he was doing.
Ignatius straightened and snapped his fingers. “Come, all of you. The people await your choice.”
- This reply was modified 5 months, 3 weeks ago by Ellette Giselle.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 3, 2024 at 11:38 am #181975Chapter 13 and 14 are really smooth, the scenes were good and atmospheric. The only thing I noticed which isn’t even a big issue is that you used Caesar’s name instead of Nero’s in chapter 13 at some point. It was great though!! Once again, Julius’ inner conflict was portrayed well.
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
July 3, 2024 at 11:41 am #181977I’m glad you like it!!
Do you think Julius is going to believe?
Oh, whoops. I’ll switch that. Thanks for catching it!
Also, did you see your picture of Eldred?
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 3, 2024 at 11:45 am #181979Do you think Julius is going to believe?
Hmm, I’m not sure. The way he’s acting, trying only to preserve himself, it doesn’t seem like he will. Or maybe when he’s see Marcus and Flavia die (if they do) then he’ll come to faith. Sigh, it’s another game of will-he-won’t-he XD
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
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