WIP: (A.D. 60. Two friends in Ancient Rome.) Questions

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  • #181809
    TheShadow
    @theshadow
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 330

      @ellette-giselle

      Thank you so much!!! haha, I’m glad you liked that.

      Your welcome!

      Most times I write funny things and then wait in anticipation for the reader rto laugh. They look at me and are like “what? what am I supposed to laugh about?”

      That’s the worst, I can definitely relate to that XD

      "No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"

      #181831
      Ellette Giselle
      @ellette-giselle
        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
        • Total Posts: 1540

        Ok y’all, next chapter!!!

         

        Chapter 7

         

        Marcus walked with slow steps back toward the City of the Dead. He had known that something like this could happen, but he had hoped beyond hope that it wouldn’t. Part of him had even believed that Julius would listen, see the error of their old ways, and readily join him. The two of them could have done so much together, as brothers in Christ. With Julius, Marcus was sure he could have withstood anything. They had always been there for each other, and Julius had always been the bravest, though he was also the rashest. Now, Marcus was alone. Julius had rejected him and thrown him out. “I’m not alone,” whispered Marcus. “I never will be again.”

        Marcus leaned against the wall surrounding the City of the Dead. “Lord, I need your help. I can’t do this without you. Julius was the only person I really felt was family. Now I’ve lost him. Please help me.”

        Taking a deep breath, Marcus turned down the Appian Way and headed for his new home.

        ***

        “Marcus!” exclaimed Thaddeus.

        “Hello there,” replied Marcus, messing up the boy’s hair with a friendly hand.

        “I’m glad to see you back,” said Felix, one of the young men Marcus had met the night before.

        “Thanks,” replied Marcus.

        “Your friend, he didn’t believe you?” asked Flavia.

        Marcus looked up at her and shook his head. “No, he uh… he was pretty angry actually.”

        “I’m afraid many of us have experienced the same,” remarked Felix.

        “I’m glad you came back though,” said Thaddeus.

        Marcus smiled at him. “So am I.”

        “Come and get something to eat,” offered Flavia.

        “I’ve already eaten, but thank you,” replied Marcus.

        “Come and play then,” offered Thaddeus, excitedly.

        “Play?” wondered Marcus.

        “You don’t believe God would want our children to grow up without fun and laughter, do you?” smiled Felix.

        “No, I just never thought about it really,” replied Marcus, looking about the bleak, torch-lit place.

        “Lucius often came up with games for Thad and the other children,” added Flavia. “They had plenty of fun down here.”

        “Come Marcus,” begged Thaddeus.

        Marcus grinned. How full of fun and life the boy was when he wasn’t frightened. “Alright Thad, you win. Let’s go have some fun.”

        ***

        The days began to blend into weeks as Marcus became one of the band in hiding. They welcomed him into their family and soon he became an older brother figure for many of the children; especially Thaddeus. Marcus continued to learn from the leaders in the church, and poured over the precious copies of Scripture they had.

        As each day passed. Marcus grew closer to the Lord and closer to his brothers and sisters around him. Thaddeus became a special friend, and the two were almost inseparable.

        Few days passed when Marcus did not think of Julius. He prayed for his friend every day and he often wondered what he was doing. He longed for Julius to find the freedom that he had, and to come and join the small band of believers. Every time one of the believers went out to gather supplies or news, Marcus asked if the ring was at the tower.

        It never was.

        One afternoon, Marcus was engaged in a rowdy game with several of the little boys. They were tumbling about and wrestling when Flavia came into the wide chamber with some bread and cheese for the noon meal. The children scurried to her, and Marcus picked himself up off the floor. He straightened his tunic and stood to the side while Flavia passed out food to the boys. They took it with thanks and ran off to eat and play. Flavia turned and smiled at Marcus. “You look hungry.”

        He grinned and nodded.

        Flavia handed him a jar of water and he drank. Then she gave him some of the food. Marcus thanked her and leaned against the wall, watching the boys.

        “Thank you, Marcus,” said Flavia.

        He looked up at her surprise. “For what?”

        “For taking time to play with them. Thaddeus has not stopped talking about the fun you have.” Flavia fell silent, her eyes following the antics of the children. “He missis Lucius desperately. But, when you came, he began to laugh again.”

        Marcus was silent for a long time. Then, he spoke quietly. “Tell me about him.”

        Flavia looked up at him with her gentle, dark eyes. “He was strong and brave, and he was kind. He loved children and he was always with them. He played with them, created games, and made toys from the scraps he could find. His faith was strong, and he spent hours pouring over the scriptures. He and several friends often met together to study and pray. He was brave and he loved people. That’s how he was caught. He had been speaking with a young man, and it was not long before Lucius began to share some of his faith. The young man seemed very intrigued, but wary. He asked Lucius to meet him after dark in one of the abandoned houses near the tower. Lucius readily agreed. He never hesitated when their was a chance to help a lost soul to Christ. We ate dinner, he kissed me cheek and told Thaddeus he’d be back in a little while. Then he went out there. The next time I saw him was… was the arena.”

        Flavia broke off and pressed the back of her hand against her eyes. “He would have done it, even if he knew what would happen, just because there was a chance to help the young man. He was like that,” she said, her voice choked with tears.

        “Flavia, he did help a young man,” said Marcus, gently. “It was his death that drove me to seek Christ.”

        Flavia smiled up at him through her tears. “I think Lucius would have liked you.”

        “I wish I could have met him,” agreed Marcus.

        “You will,” replied Flavia, turning again to watch her little brother. “We will both see him, someday.”

        ***

        It was a month later that Marcus asked to speak to Caius alone. Marcus was facing a new dilemma, and wasn’t quiet sure what to do.

        Flavia was beautiful. That was undeniable. In society, she would have easily married well with her looks and charm. However, Marcus had seen plenty of pretty girls. Several had caused him to take a second look, but nothing ever went further then that. Flavia was different. Marcus first noticed her because of her beauty, but he was drawn to her because of a beauty that beyond skin deep. She was gentle, loving, kind, and compassionate. She was full of Christ’s Spirit, and the light of her faith shown through every inch of her.

        In his old life, Marcus would have approached her father, and a betrothal would have been arranged between them if he offered enough money. Now, however, Marcus had nothing, and Flavia’s last living family was Thaddeus. Marcus also wasn’t sure how marriage worked among the Christians, but something in him reciold fdrom the thought of buying Flavia’s hand in marriage.

        It was a little while before Caius had a chance to sit down and talk with Marcus alone. When the opportunity finally came, Marcus was nearly dying with inpatients.

        “Well Marcus, I can see there is something on your mind,” began Caius. “What is it I can do for you?”

        “Well,” began Marcus. He paused, and for a moment he found he couldn’t speak. Shaking his head he tried again. “You see Caius… I wasn’t sure… I mean… well it’s about Flavia.”

        Caius looked a little surprised at first, but then he smiled and nodded knowingly. “I was wondering if something like this would happen.”

        “Is it that obvious?” asked Marcus, uneasily.

        “I don’t think many have noticed, but I make it my duty to watch all my flock, and I could tell something was on your mind. your gentle kindness to Flavia has not gone unnoticed either.”

        Marcus flushed and then grinned.

        “So, what is it you would like to talk to me about concerning Flavia?”

        “Well, I wanted to ask you what I should do. Under normal circumstances her father and I would arrange the marriage, but Flavia’s father is dead. I suppose you are sort of her guardian, but… well… well I don’t want to force her into a marriage she does not want. I care about her too much to do that. Last night I was thinking about it, and all our old ways of marrying for political standing seems pointless and selfish. I don’t want that. I want to love Flavia like Christ loved the church. Isn’t that what Paul wrote for us to do?”

        Caius nodded. After a moment of thought, he spoke. “Tell me, why do you wish to marry her?”

        Marcus stared at him with a look of confusion.

        “Why Flavia?” continued Caius. “Is it because she’s pretty? Is it because of her family’s old standing? What are the reasons?”

        “I didn’t know about her family having standings,” said Marcus.

        Caius smiled. “I can’t say I’m not glad to hear you say that. But, you still haven’t answered my question.”

        “Well Caius, I don’t know fully how to explain this. I mean, I guess it seems rather silly now that I think of it. I should be thinking of other things instead,” replied Marcus.

        “Don’t worry about the reason our society thinks you should marry. Tell me why you want to marry Flavia,” said Caius.

        Marcus hesitated a moment, and then looked up. “I love her. I honestly do. She is a godly young woman, and her faith is beautiful. She is like the woman of the 31st Proverb, and she acts as Paul whites a woman should. Every time I’m around her, she draws me closer to God, and every time I meet her, I feel my love for her trying to brake free. I have prayed that God would keep my thoughts pure, and I have prayed that He would show me what to do. My only answer has been a deeper love for her. I haven’t got any other reasons besides that.”

        “And what other reasons should you need?” asked Caius.

        “Well… I’ve always been told I needed to marry for good position, wealth, affection from people in high standing, and of course, good looks were nice. Never have I been told to marry because of a common faith, or because of love. Yet, never have I felt so drawn to a girl. I would die for anyone here, Caius, but for Flavia… for her I would gladly face anything.”

        Caius placed a hand on Marcus’ shoulder. “Marcus, we are in the world, but not of it. Why we do what we do often does not make sense to others, but that doesn’t matter. We do it because it is what Christ would have done. His bride, we the church, had no standing, beauty, ties, or riches. When Christ came to save us, He died because He loved us. Not because of what we could give Him.”

        Marcus nodded his understanding.

        “Well then, I suggest you let me talk to Flavia, as I know her father would if he were here. If she responds favorably, then we will go on from there.”

        Marcus grinned. “Thank you Caius,” he said, breathlessly. “Thank you!”

        Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God

        #181841
        TheShadow
        @theshadow
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 330

          @ellette-giselle

          Alright, a few critiques on chapter 7. I think you could show Flavia and Marcus’ relationship a bit more since we haven’t seen a lot of her.

          Marcus could probably be shown to be more upset after talking with Julius, since that was his best friend.

          Otherwise it was good, the ending of the chapter made me smile.

          "No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"

          #181842
          Trailblazer
          @trailblazer
            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
            • Total Posts: 648

            @ellette-giselle

            I agree with @theshadow, I would love to see more of how Marcus and Flavia’s relationship develops rather than just being told that it did. I also feel like I don’t know Flavia very well- I know you describe her when Marcus is thinking about her and talking to Caius, but I want to see it in her rather than just be told it about her.

            There is also a section of dialogue towards the beginning of the chapter that could be broken up a little more with action or description of the setting- eg, the flickering of the torches cast bouncing shadows on the walls, or something like that.

            And lastly, this is just an idea that popped into my head and doesn’t necessarily need to be inserted in this chapter- it might fit better in a different part of the story. But Julius is easily in a position where he could betray Marcus and turn him over to the Praetorian. I feel like he’s probably too loyal for that, but in the heat of his emotions, it could perhaps be a brief thought that passes through his head, and leaving the readers wondering if Julius might actually do it would be a good way to add some tension to the story.

            "Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley

            #181843
            Ellette Giselle
            @ellette-giselle
              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
              • Total Posts: 1540

              @theshadow

              Ack, I thought you would say that. I’ve been thinking also of a way to develop a bit more with her. I’m kinda distracted with the other stuff going on and thought I would drop it for now and come back. after all, this is my very rough draft. But yes, she is under developed.


              @trailblazer

              And lastly, this is just an idea that popped into my head and doesn’t necessarily need to be inserted in this chapter- it might fit better in a different part of the story. But Julius is easily in a position where he could betray Marcus and turn him over to the Praetorian. I feel like he’s probably too loyal for that, but in the heat of his emotions, it could perhaps be a brief thought that passes through his head, and leaving the readers wondering if Julius might actually do it would be a good way to add some tension to the story.

              Hey, quit jumping ahead here! lol. would it interest you to know that Julius and a Praetorian may or may not be having a little conversation right now?

               

               

              Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God

              #181844
              Trailblazer
              @trailblazer
                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                • Total Posts: 648

                @ellette-giselle

                Hey, quit jumping ahead here! lol. would it interest you to know that Julius and a Praetorian may or may not be having a little conversation right now?

                Haha okay I’ll be quiet and let them have their discussion XD

                "Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley

                #181845
                Ellette Giselle
                @ellette-giselle
                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                  • Total Posts: 1540

                  @theshadow Note: Flavia is under developed as we discussed, and I plan on adding more about her in chapter 7

                   

                  Chapter 8

                  Julius leaned his shoulder against the side of the window. He stared out into the garden below, thinking of all the days he and Marcus had spent there. They had grown up together, and had been friends from the day they met. The two of them had spent hours and hours racing about these very gardens, slaying the enemies of Rome, fighting as gladiators, rescuing Julius’ older sister from peril–– she never would realize that she was in peril as she sat in the garden trying to read. She was not the most cooperative of maidens in distress.

                  Now, Marcus was gone.

                  Julius felt that horrible weight of sadness coming over him. Marcus had left, and he didn’t understand. He was so changed, yet he still cared enough to come back and try to convince Julius to come with him. Come with him to what? What could Marcus have that was worth giving up everything?

                  Julius jolted free of the thoughts and straightened. “Fates take him!” he cursed. Julius had to remain angry. If he didn’t then the sadness would replace the anger. If Julius gave in to that grief he would be vulnerable, and Julius hated being vulnerable. If he was angry, at least he still felt as though he was in control, even as the anger slowly destroyed him.

                  Julius turned and strode across the room. Reaching the door, he stepped outside into the street. Julius looked left and right, watching the sea of people. At last, he stepped into the current and began walking, letting those moving around him pull him this way and that.

                  Julius hardly noticed what was going on about him. He was too busy trying to control his grief and drown it out with anger. At last, he looked up and found he was near the Colosseum. He stepped out of the crowd and stood, staring up at the tall structure. He thought of Lucius. Marcus shook the memory from his mind and walked into the shadow of the huge walls. Leaning against the cool stone, he closed his eyes.

                  For a time it was one memory melting into another, and none of them really made sense. Julius couldn’t tell if he was half awake or fully asleep. Every time he thought he should get moving, the weariness from the past month would drive him down again. Then, he began to remember Lucius. He could see the young man almost as clearly as if he had been standing there in realty. He defied the Emperor, yes, but he did so with such grace. Julius couldn’t understand. He was a criminal, but he certainly didn’t behave like one. Could it have been a mistake? Don’t be an idiot! That sort of thinking will get you killed!

                  Julius heard again the roar of the lion, saw Lucius standing face to face with it, unafraid. Then, as Lucius turned, his face changed. As the lion leapt, Julius saw the face was no longer Lucius’.

                  “Marcus!”

                  Julius stumbled upright, shaking sleep from off him like a heavy cloak. He stumbled and leaned against the wall, gasping for breath. “No, no, no, of fates and furies! Oh gods! Marcus! Why did you have to do this?”

                  Julius shook his head violently, as if he could brake free of the horrid dream. He deserves whatever happens. Whispered a voice in his mind.

                  Not that! No, not Marcus.

                  Why do you even care? Look what he did to you, argued back the voice.

                  I don’t care. Nothing could ever deserve that!

                  Now who’s starting to sound sympathetic to the traitors?

                  Leave me alone!

                  “Marcus? Is that you?”

                  Julius whipped about and came face to face with a Prætorian. The young man was tall, and the air about him was one of command. He had his helmet tucked under one arm, and he was watching Julius with knitted brow, as if trying to remember something just out of reach.

                  “N-no, not Marcus,” replied Julius, uneasily. After the nightmare, Julius felt frayed, and the appearance of a Prætorian who seemed to know Marcus was putting him on edge.

                  “I’m sorry,” replied the Prætorian. “For a second I thought you looked like a young man I was searching for.

                  “How… how do you know Marcus?” asked Julius.

                  “He and I were speaking here about a month ago. I have been looking for him these past few weeks,” replied the Prætorian. “You say you know him as well?”

                  “Yes he’s–– was–– my closest friend. We were living together while my family was away for the summer.”

                  “From your choice of words, I guess that is no longer the case?”

                  “No,” replied Julius, and bitterness started to rise within him like bile.

                  “My name is Ignatius, come and talk with me,” said the Prætorian, suddenly.

                  Julius followed the soldier, partly because he didn’t dare disobey one of such high rank, and partly because in him he sensed a similar pain. It was carefully concealed, it because Julius was concealing his own hurt, he could sense it in this young man.

                  At last the two reached a place to sit and talk. It was a bench running along the wall of the Prætorian’s barracks. A few soldiers moved here and there, but for the most part it was quiet.

                  “So, tell me what happened to Marcus,” invited Ignatius.

                  “Well, it all began with the games. He saw the young man, Lucius, die, and after that he started acting strange,” said Julius.

                  Ignatius nodded encouragingly, and a few moments later Julius found himself pouring out the whole story. As he came to the part about Marcus returning, Julius paused, trying to control the emotions that had arisen with the telling of the story. “He came back full of… of strange new ideas. He tried to tell me, but I wouldn’t listen to him. He said he had been speaking with the leaders of the Christians.”

                  Ignatius looked up sharply at this, but nothing in his expression changed.

                  “He said he was turning his back on everything, that… that the gods weren’t real, and that he believed in the God of the Christians.”

                  “What did you do?” asked Ignatius.

                  “I threw him out,” replied Julius. “I told him never to return, and he left. Then I cursed him with every curse under high heaven that I could think of.” Julius shook his head. “I don’t know, perhaps I was to hard on him. Perhaps if I had let him stay, I could have convinced him to turn back.”

                  “Maybe you still can. Maybe I could talk to him with you,” suggested Ignatius. “He and I were friends.”

                  “It’s too late now,” replied Julius.

                  Ignatius gave him a questioning look.

                  “He’s gone,” explained Julius. “He went back to them.”

                  Ignatius shook his head. “You did right by the gods, Julius. But fates and furies, what a way to treat you. He just ran off and left. He betrayed you and the gods. He betrayed all of Rome. Jove, he didn’t even leave a way for you to contact him. Ungrateful wretch.”

                  “Oh he did,” replied Julius, absently.

                  Ignatius watched him for the corner of his eye. “Likely story on his part.”

                  “No, he gave me his signet ring. I was so angry I forgot about it.”

                  “His signet ring, how strange. That normally accompanies the deepest pledge between brothers,” mused Ignatius.

                  Julius sighed and shook his head. He watched as a Prætorian made his way across the courtyard. Somewhere a dog was barking near the keep. “Marcus and I were closer then brothers by blood. I suppose this new belief did not have the power to completely destroy that.”

                  Ignatius shrugged. “I still don’t see how that’s going to help you.”

                  “He said to leave his signet ring at the tomb of Cæcilia Metella. He said he would find a way to contact me from there.”

                  Ignatius made no reply, and the silence stretched on. A cart passed nearby. A man shouted across the street. A spoiled child threw a fit and was promptly spanked by his mother. Three boys raced by laughing.

                  At last, Ignatius spoke. “I have been looking for Marcus because after our conversation, I began to fear that something like this would happen. I would like to help him. Would you be willing to set out the signet ring and you and I can go together?”

                  “Set it out at the tomb?”

                  “Yes. Then we can go and meet him together. With two of us, he’s bound to listen.”

                  Julius stared across the courtyard. He was angry with Marcus, but more then anything, he wanted his friend back. Taking a deep breath, he spoke. “Alright, I’ll do it.”

                  ***

                  Marcus took Flavia’s hand and smiled down at her. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and never had her beauty been this glorious. Flavia looked up at him, her eyes dancing with light and joy. Marcus found his hands were shaking a little, and so were hers.

                  The past two weeks had been the most joyful in Marcus’ life. He had Flavia had studied together under the leadership of the wise men and women around them. They had spent time together, talking for long hours, working side by side, and playing with the children. They had grown closer with each passing day, and Marcus could hardly wait for the moment when she would be his bride.

                  Now, the day had come.

                  In the tradition of their people, the bride would don a saffron-colored tunic and a flame-colored veil, known as the “flammeum”, believed to bring good fortune and ward off evil spirits. Her hair would also be bound up in six intricate braids to please the goddess of the household. But with Flavia, this was not so. As a believer, she had cast off the superstitious practices of her people.

                  Marcus had been standing in the meeting room among the other believers, when Thaddeus had stepped in, proudly leading the way for his sister. Flavia had been dressed in the purest of white, and her long, dark hair fell free in a shining cascade down her back. Marcus had been unable to take his eyes off her, and when he had come forward to meet her and take her hand, his breath had fled beyond recovery.

                  Now, Marcus led Flavia to where Caius waited. The two of them stood before him, and Caius spoke the ancient blessing over the them. “May the Lord bless you and keep you, may the Lord make Hos face to shine upon you and give you peace.”

                  Flavia and Marcus faced each other, and Caius spoke. “Marcus, do you take Flavia unto you, to keep by your side, to love and cherish, to lead and guide, to protect and–– if need be–– die for?”

                  Marcus looked at Flavia’s upturned face. “Yes I do.”

                  “Flavia, do you place yourself under Marcus, submitting to him humbly as your protector and head, loving him and standing at his side through all that may come?”

                  Flavia smiled up at Marcus. “I do.”

                  Caius took Marcus and Flavia’s right hands. Before all gathered, he joined them in unity. When their hands met, Marcus felt a flood of joy, love, and excitement crashing through him. He could see the laughter in Flavia’s eyes, and at a nod from Caius, he stepped forward and kissed her. As those gathered cheered, Marcus leaned close to Flavia, still holding her right hand in his. “I’m never letting go, Flavia,” he whispered. “I’ll hold you to the very end.”

                  Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God

                  #181846
                  TheShadow
                  @theshadow
                    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                    • Total Posts: 330

                    @ellette-giselle

                    Alright, and I feel you on that, I have way too many side characters that I have yet to develop lol.

                    "No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"

                    #181848
                    Ellette Giselle
                    @ellette-giselle
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1540

                      @theshadow

                      so, besides that, how was the chapter?


                      @trailblazer

                      Also, here’s the part you were jumping ahead on Trailblazer. Great minds think alike in the writing world I guess. lol.

                      Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God

                      #181851
                      TheShadow
                      @theshadow
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 330

                        @ellette-giselle

                        The last scene was sooo cute, I liked it a lot! Also Julius’ internal dialogue and conflict was good. Ignatius, if you lay a finger on Marcus, it’s not ending well for you!

                        One thing that I think you could add is more description of the places though, such as when Julius and Ignatius are talking.

                        "No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"

                        #181852
                        Ellette Giselle
                        @ellette-giselle
                          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                          • Total Posts: 1540

                          @theshadow

                          The last scene was sooo cute, I liked it a lot! Also Julius’ internal dialogue and conflict was good.

                          I’m so glad. I pride myself with pulling off good wedding scenes. Good! I’m glad Julius’ internal struggle was good!

                          Ignatius, if you lay a finger on Marcus, it’s not ending well for you!

                          are you threatening my character? Isn’t Ignatius just a nice soldier boy who really wants to help Marcus?

                           

                          Ah yes, I’ll add more description. Thanks!

                           

                           

                          Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God

                          #181853
                          TheShadow
                          @theshadow
                            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                            • Total Posts: 330

                            @ellette-giselle

                            are you threatening my character? Isn’t Ignatius just a nice soldier boy who really wants to help Marcus?

                            Yes I’m threatening him XD. He’s still a praetorian, so I’m not going to trust him completely. I don’t know, the way he responded to Julius’ answers sounded like he was suspicious of Marcus…. Then again, maybe he is just a nice guy trying to help find him, so I’ll just have to wait.

                            "No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"

                            #181854
                            Ellette Giselle
                            @ellette-giselle
                              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                              • Total Posts: 1540

                              @theshadow

                              Note: There is no description in this one of the courtyard because the description would be in the chapter before.

                               

                              Chapter 9

                              Julius pulled his cloak closer. It was nearing the end of summer, and the night air had a decided chill. It would be curfew soon, and Julius would have to hurry. He slipped through the gate and began his journey through the City of the Dead.

                              Earlier that week, Ignatius told him to follow the Appian Way for two miles and he would reach the spot. Julius had put off coming for several days. He didn’t know why, but something in him pulled back from seeing Marcus again. Now though, he had been driven to the point where he must do it now, or never. However, Julius was starting to regret going out tonight. It would be a long walk. In the dark. Alone.

                              Unlike Marcus, Julius was a little more prone to superstition, and the darkness didn’t help. Most of that journey was spent glancing over his shoulder, and several times Julius could have sworn furies had touched him.

                              He was about a mile and half in, when the sound started. Julius froze, every muscle tense. A whisper was snaking down the winding road. It seemed to come from all around. Julius wasn’t sure what it said, but he was convinced there were words and it was a voice. He stood stalk still, too scared to move forward, and too scared to go back. At that moment, a cold breath touched the back of Julius’ neck. That was the last straw. Julius bolted.

                              Running as hard as he could, Julius raced along the Appian Way, not daring to look back. Gasping for breath, he came in sight of the tower. Running for all he was worth, Julius reached it. He grabbed the firm stone, holding onto anything that was solid and real. For a moment he leaned against the tower, sobbing for breath. Finally, looked about. A cool wind was blowing around him, and it whistled through the tombs. Julius pulled the ring from his satchel. His hands shook a little, but he didn’t care. All he wanted was to get away from here.

                              Placing the ring on the stone ledge running around the tower, he turned and ran back the way he had come.

                              ***

                              “Make it wider, Marcus!” exclaimed Thaddeus.

                              “No, if I do that then it’ll be too easy,” replied Marcus. He was bent over, using a sharp stone to scrape a circle in sandstone floor. “There we go. Now the large one.”

                              Moving to the outside of the circle, Marcus drew another. Looking up, he saw one of the boys bouncing a ball. “Here!”

                              The boy tossed it top him, and Marcus caught it. “Alright lads, circle up.”

                              The boys came and stood between the large and small ring. When they were all there, Marcus stared at the center, fingering the ball and calculating his shot. The boys were yelling for him to throw, shoving one another, and generally trying to distract him. Taking careful aim, Marcus let the ball fly. It hit the center circle and bounced back. Several boys tried to catch it, but they just missed.

                              “One for me,” grinned Marcus.

                              “Just you wait,” replied Thaddeus.

                              Marcus took aim again and threw. This time Thaddeus caught the ball. Marcus crouched a little, ready to catch the throw. Thaddeus was staring at him from across the circle, grinning and daring Marcus to get it.

                              At last, he threw. Marcus lunged, careful not to step into the inner ring. For a moment he almost had it, but Thaddeus had pulled a wicked backspin, and the ball launched away from where the boys waited.

                              “Oh, playing tricky are we?” asked Marcus.

                              “You’ve seen nothin’,” sniffed Thaddeus, his eyes narrowed as he prepared to throw again.

                              “You’re going down fella,” threatened Marcus, good naturally.

                              The boys played for a few hours. Then Flavia came in with a jug of water, and they all took a brake. Marcus put an arm about Flavia’s waist, and the two sat down on a rough bench against the wall. Marcus rested his chin against his wife’s head as she leaned against him. “I guess you’re all having a good time?” she asked him.

                              “Of course we are. How could we not with Thaddeus trying to rule the game,” chuckled Marcus.

                              “You know he beat you last time,” grinned Flavia.

                              “I was distracted,” argued Marcus. “You were standing there watching and I couldn’t help but notice.”

                              Flavia laughed. “The funniest thing was Thad’s ball hit you while you were watching me, but because you didn’t catch it it didn’t count.”

                              Marcus groaned at the memory. “And to think I was just considering doing something to impress you.”

                              Flavia laughed and kissed his cheek.

                              “Marcus! Come quick! Thad’s gonna wallop you!” yelled one of the boys.

                              “It seems I’d better go,” smiled Marcus. He rose and hurried to join the boys.

                              Just then, Felix entered the room. “Marcus, can you come here a moment.”

                              Marcus turned. “Felix! I’m glad you back safe!” he hurried to join the young man while the boys behind him let out a wail of protest.”

                              “How was everything?” asked Flavia, coming to Marcus’ side.

                              “It was well,” replied Felix. “My friend said the Prætorians are no closer to finding us then before. They went down again a little while ago, but the Fosser led them in circles.”

                              “That is good news indeed,” said Marcus. “Thank God we have not been found.”

                              “Marcus, there was a reason I came to see you,” continued Felix.

                              “Has something happened?” asked Marcus, anxiously.

                              Felix held something out and Marcus took it. The light of the flickering torches reflected off of the small object, and Marcus sucked in a breath.

                              “What is it?” asked Flavia.

                              “My signet ring. I gave this to Julius which means… which means he’s trying to contact me.”

                              “But I thought you said he was enraged and threw you out,” put in Felix.

                              “He was, but perhaps something has changed. I have been praying ceaselessly, and these last days you and I have spent together we have both prayed for him. Perhaps he has finally come to the place where he’s ready,” said Marcus.

                              “Or it’s a trap,” suggested Felix.

                              “No. no however angry he may be, Julius would never do that. He and I are practically brothers,” replied Marcus, quickly.

                              “I’ve seen brothers turn one another over,” replied Felix.

                              “Julius would never,” replied Marcus. “Besides, what if it isn’t? If it isn’t a trap, and I don’t go, Julius will be lost forever! I can’t let him die without the truth just because of risk to myself.”

                              “He’s right,” whispered Flavia. Her face was slightly pale, and she held Marcus’ hand tightly. “It’s the same thing Lucius said.”

                              Felix turned away. “Marcus… I wish… no, no you’re right. I know you are.” he looked back at Marcus. “I’ll pray for you.”

                              “Thank you,” replied Marcus.

                              “There is no moon next week. That would be safest,” said Felix.

                              Marcus nodded, and Felix left the room. Marcus stood and turned the signet ring over in his hand. Flavia wrapped both her hands about his arm and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Must you go?”

                              Marcus nodded.

                              Flavia made no reply.

                              The torchlight flickered and the shadows danced. Behind them the children played, but the sound seemed to come from far away. At last, Marcus closed his fist about the ring. “Lord, guide me,” he whispered.

                              ***

                              Julius started at the sound of a knock on the door. Rising from his couch, he cast aside his Latin hurried into the other room. One of the slaves was just closing the door, and looked up as Julius entered the room. “Who was it?”

                              “No one, my lord,” replied the slave. “There was just a knock, and when I opened the door I found this.”

                              Marcus reached out for the parchment. He unrolled it and looked at the words written across it in a painfully familiar handwriting.

                              Dark it is, dark tonight,
                              Under the moonless sky.
                              Dark it is, dark without her light.
                              Here come let us whisper, her let us speak.
                              Come to me in shadow, come in the moonless night.

                              Julius tightened his hand about the parchment. “Get my cloak,” he ordered.

                              The slave brought the cloak, and Julius flung it over his shoulders. Ramming the broach in place, he hurried outside. Walking swiftly down the street, Julius made his way to the Prætorian guards’ quarters.

                              Stepping through the entryway, Julius left the flood of the crowd behind in the street. He walked across the courtyard and was nearly to the barracks when a young guard halted him. “Who are you and what is your business?”

                              “I am Julius, and I come with a message for Prætorian Ignatius. He is expecting me,” replied Julius.

                              “Wait on the bench,” the guard said. Then he turned and made his way into the barracks.

                              Julius sat alone, holding the letter tightly in his hands. A feeling of cold nervousness was sweeping over him, and he shifted uneasily. What will Marcus be like? Will he be changed? Will he become violent?

                              “Julius! It took you some time,” remarked Ignatius, walking toward the bench.

                              Julius stood up and nodded awkwardly.

                              “I hope you haven’t taken things into your own hands,” said Ignatius.

                              “No,” replied Julius. He looked at Ignatius closely. There was something in his tone…

                              “Sit,” encouraged Ignatus, cheerfully. “Tell me what has happened.”

                              Julius sat down beside him and handed over the letter.

                              Ignatius took it eagerly and began to read. “Hmm, he’s sly this one,” he said, almost under his breath.

                              “Marcus always was smart,” agreed Julius.

                              Ignatius looked up sharply. “Are you sure this is him? There is no name.”

                              “Yes, I’m sure. I would know that hand anywhere,” replied Julius, nodding to the writing.

                              Ignatius looked back at the letter. “He wants you to meet him on the night without a moon. He is afraid it seems. Perhaps he suspects you.”

                              “What do you mean afraid?” wondered Julius.

                              “He wrote this like a poem, and if it fell into the wrong hands one would think it was for a lover like as not. He is afraid of this being discovered,” replied Ignatius.

                              “Oh,” replied Julius. He could think of nothing else to say, so he watched the guards drilling at the other end of the courtyard. Their precise steps, their perfect movements, it made them seem like one living creature rather then many.

                              “We’ll go in nine days,” said Ignatius.

                              “What?” asked Julius, turning back to look at him.

                              “In nine days there will be no moon,” replied Ignatius. “We will go at dark and meet him by the tomb.”

                              “Don’t you think… well… are you sure he’ll trust you?” asked Julius. “I mean, after all, you are a Prætorian, and he isn’t exactly following the law right now.”

                              “Don’t worry, he’ll not know it’s me until we start talking,” replied Ignatius.

                              Julius nodded and stood up. “In nine days then. I’ll meet you at the gate.”

                              Ignatius stood also and handed the letter back. “Don’t try to take matters into your own hands,” he warned. “This sort of thing is… fragile.”

                              “I won’t,” promised Julius. Began to walk away, but then turned back. “Ignatius, will this really work?”

                              Ignatius lifted his helmet off the bench and carefully strapped it on. “We’ll bring Marcus to his senses, have no fear of that,” he replied, calmly.

                              Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God

                              #181859
                              Ellette Giselle
                              @ellette-giselle
                                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                • Total Posts: 1540

                                Aaand chapter ten. Now i gotta go! Enjoy!

                                 

                                Chapter 10

                                “God take my life
                                I offer myself to you now
                                And I shall everyday
                                Cherish your name

                                God, you use my hands
                                To help the people
                                And you use my feet
                                So that I may bring your words
                                God, you use my voice
                                So that I may praise you all the time
                                And you use my mouth
                                So that I may tell your words

                                You make my thoughts
                                Strong with you all the time
                                You are my only king
                                May your reign last forever”

                                 

                                Marcus sang with the rest, one arm about Flavia, and his other hand on Thad’s shoulder. When the last notes of the song died away, Caius led them in prayer. For over an hour they prayed, lifting their voices one at a time to the Lord. They were united together, and Marcus could feel the peace and strength around him. As he listened to the others, his thoughts kept turning to Julius. Oh Lord, help him to come to you. Prepare his heart, and let the words that I speak to him be from You. Use me to bring him to the truth. Please Lord!

                                For seven days, Marcus had waited, praying and spending every moment he could with Flavia and Thaddeus. He didn’t know what was going to happen at the end of the waiting, but whatever it was, He knew God would be with him.

                                When the time of prayer had ended, Caius looked about the room. “Marcus, would you read tonight’s Psalm?”

                                Marcus rose and took the scroll from Caius. Standing before the gathering, Marcus read in a clear voice. To his surprise, it seemed as though the words had been written directly to him.

                                I will praise You, Lord, with all my heart;
                                before the “gods” I will sing Your praise.
                                I will bow down toward your holy temple
                                and will praise Your name
                                for Your unfailing love and Your faithfulness,
                                for You have so exalted Your solemn decree
                                that it surpasses Your fame.
                                When I called, You answered me;
                                You greatly emboldened me.

                                May all the kings of the earth praise You, Lord,
                                when they hear what You have decreed.
                                May they sing of the ways of the Lord,
                                for the glory of the Lord is great.

                                Though the Lord is exalted, He looks kindly on the lowly;
                                though lofty, He sees them from afar.
                                Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
                                You preserve my life.
                                You stretch out Your hand against the anger of my foes;
                                with your right hand You save me.
                                The Lord will vindicate me;
                                Your love, Lord, endures forever—
                                do not abandon the works of Your hands.

                                Marcus closed the scroll and looked from one to the other of those gathered there. “Friends, I don’t know what the future holds for any of us, but I do know this; the words of God are true, and His promises are true. Whatever happens, He will not abandon us, the works of His hands.”

                                Caius nodded and Marcus gave the scroll back to him. At that moment, there was the soun of running steps. They all started. Marcus was motioning for Flavia and Thaddeus to slip out one of the side passages, and several women and children had already disappeared. The men and boys waited, tense and ready to flee after their women and children.

                                A boy dashed into the room and fell to hands and knees, gasping for breath. Marcus started forward and helped him up, while the others pressed around.

                                “What is it?”

                                “What happened?”

                                “Titus! What is it?”

                                “What’s going on?”

                                The questions poured from ever side.

                                “Give him a moment,” commanded Caius, and they backed away, letting the boy regain his breath.

                                “Caius, Felix–– Felix was t-taken,” panted Titus.

                                Marcus turned away, covering his face with his hands. Several low murmurs traveled around the room.

                                “What happened?” asked Caius.

                                “Felix and I had gone to collect supplies from his friend, and to gather news. We ran into a Prætorian and several of his men. They seemed to be waiting for us, and they asked no questions. One of them grabbed Felix, but he knocked him down and we ran. They were too fast. Felix pushed me into hiding and then ran to draw them off. They caught him a little ways down the street.” Titus broke off with a sob.

                                Marcus put an arm about the boy’s shoulder. “It’s alright,” he said soothingly.

                                “Did you see what happened to him?” asked one of the other men, quietly.

                                “I couldn’t see, but there was shouting and–– and I heard Felix cry out. I saw them dragging him away in the darkness, but I don’t know if he was alive.” Titus’ tears spilled over and he began sobbing wildly.

                                Marcus put his arms around the boy, letting him cry against his chest as he spoke softly.

                                The others slowly moved away to take counsel amongst themselves. Marcus could hear snatches of their quiet conversation over the sound of Titus’ muffled weeping.

                                “… think he could.”

                                “No, it’s to dangerous.”

                                “What if… and got him…”

                                “No, no good.”

                                “He would try.”

                                “It’s not right to put him at risk with the baby.”

                                “What of…”

                                Marcus shook his head slowly, absently rubbing a hand across Titus’ back. They would try everything, he knew. They had contacts who were sympathetic to them, but to free a prisoner from the Prætorian?

                                “Marcus, they won’t save him,” choked out Titus.

                                Marcus was pulled from his thoughts, and he looked down at the boy. “They may yet.”

                                “But Marcus, Felix’s friend told us–– told us the g-games begin tomorrow,” sobbed Titus.

                                Marcus’ hold tightened on the boy, and despair grabbed him in a cold grip. There’s no way. There’s no saving him now. No time! “God can do anything, Titus, if it’s His will, Felix will get free. If not… well, if not, then he will go home.”

                                Titus’ sobs had died away some and Marcus tipped the boy’s face up so as to wipe away the tears. “Come to bed, Titus. God is with Felix, whatever happens.”

                                Titus nodded and wiped his arm over his nose. Marcus hugged him and then took him by the hand and slipped into one of the passages.

                                ***

                                When Marcus came to his and Flavia’s sleeping place, he found her sitting on their bed mat crying. Marcus sat down and put his arms around her. Flavia held onto him, crying against his already tear-stained tunic. “When will it ever end, Marcus,” she choked.

                                “I don’t know,” replied Marcus, his voice hoarse.

                                “Felix a-and Lucius w-were best friends,” she sobbed. “We’ve known each other f-forever.”

                                “I know,” whispered Marcus. “I know.” He rested his chin against her head and stroked her back, letting his own tears fall onto her silky hair.

                                ***

                                The sun shown down hot against the glittering sand. Already blood stained the arena floor. Already, many men had fought and died here. Already the crowd was drunk with their lust for blood.

                                Amung the stands near the entrance, one young man sat cloaked and hooded. He had not come to see the fights, he had not come for the sports. He was here to witness a brother in his last fight.

                                The gates were opening now, and he could see the prisoner. Felix stumbled and fell to hands and knees. He guards dragghed him up to the jeers of the people. Felix was limping, and his tunic was torn and stained with blood. One arm was limp at his side, blood dripping from his fingers to the sand below. Yet he held his head high, as bthough he were the son of a king. He is. Thought Marcus. He is a child of the King above all kings.

                                The guards dragged Felix across the sand to the place before the Emperor. Nero leaned forward and smiled in contempt. One of the men rose and spoke to Felix. “Who are you?”

                                “My name is Felix,” replied the young man.

                                “Do you serve the one God of the Christians?” demanded the man.

                                “I do,” replied Felix, with no hint of shame.

                                “Give glory to Jupiter, and your life shall be spared,” commanded the man.

                                Marcus shook his head, whispering a silent “no”.

                                “I will not,” was the firm reply.

                                “Poor out a liberation to Diana.”

                                “Don’t do it,” Marcus pleaded silently.

                                “No,” replied Felix.

                                “Then your life is forfeit.”

                                “So be it.”

                                Marcus closed his eyes a moment and let out a breath. “Well done,” he whispered.

                                Felix was dragged to the center of the arena and left there. He was hardly able to stand on his own, and he wavered, falling to one knee. Marcus bit his lip until it bled. God give him strength. Be with him in this last moment.

                                The gates behind Felix’s opened and he glanced over his shoulder. Two tigers raced into the arena with roars of rage and hunger. The crowd was cheering wildly, and the two beast made a lap around the arena, leaping against the side and growling. Marcus had lost his breath at their fist entrance. He was frozen, his eyes on his friend. Felix had watched the beasts, and now he dropped down to both knees and lifted his hands skyward. Throwing back his head, he began to speak.

                                The crowd slowly quieted, and the tigers turned to the sound of Felix’s voice. As the noise died down, Marcus was able to hear his words clearly.

                                “… Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

                                The tigers were creeping toward him now, and Marcus’ hand tightened into a fist and he watched.

                                “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.”

                                The tigers were quickening their pace. They were almost upon him now. All around, the crowd had gone still as stone, holding their breath and watching the young man who knelt on the sand.

                                “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

                                As Felix’s words died away, something happened which all those present would never forget. Less then three paces away from him, their tails swinging and ever muscle taught, the tigers crouched. Then, they slowly laid down, curling their tails about themselves and resting their heads on the sand.

                                Marcus was half way to his feet, his mouth dry with the shock. All around him, whispers passed from mouth to mouth. Glancing over toward the Emperor’s box, Marcus could see Nero and his officers talking. One of the Prætorian was on his feet, a hand on the hilt of his sword.

                                Marcus looked back at Felix. The young man had lowered his gaze to face the wild beasts. From a moment he watched them. Then, with a calm surety that silenced the crowd, Felix reached out a blood stained hand and rested on the nearest tiger’s head. The creature laid it’s ears flat and flicked it’s tail. Then, it slowly relaxed. Felix smiled and stroked it’s head.

                                Marcus couldn’t breathe, but at that moment he could feel God’s power like never before. It was He alone who held back the beasts, and Marcus knew that whatever happened, this moment would never be forgotten.

                                A shout broke the stillness. Marcus was jolted from his thoughts, and he looked to see the Prætorian guard was yelling something. Nero had risen to his feet and made a motion with his hand.

                                Several guards raced out into the arena with torches and spears. The tigers sprang to their feet and raced away, back through the gate to their cage. The guards followed and locked the gate behind them. Then one handed off his torch to another and drew his sword. Moving swiftly across the arena he came to stand before Felix. The young man stared back at the guard with a calm that seemed to shake all those watching.

                                The next moment the guard had cut him down without mercy.

                                Marcus closed his eyes against tears. Already several gladiators had been released, quickly diverting the crowd’s attention and minds from what had happened.

                                Marcus stood and leaned against the wall beside him, looking down into the arena below. “Oh death, where is your sting?” he breathed.

                                Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God

                                #181883
                                TheShadow
                                @theshadow
                                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                                  • Total Posts: 330

                                  @ellette-giselle

                                  Note: There is no description in this one of the courtyard because the description would be in the chapter before.

                                  Okay, that makes sense!

                                  Chapter 9 was good, I like the contrast of Julius’ superstition and Marcus’ faith.

                                  He looked at Ignatius closely. There was something in his tone…

                                  Okay, but this makes me think Ignatius is trying to arrest Marcus…

                                  Chapter 10 was great, the colosseum scene was the best part imo. Great job with it!! I can’t think of any critiques rn, so I’ll probably put them in later.

                                  "No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"

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