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Home Page › Forums › Other Art Forms › Poetry › Poetry Critiques › When once I was sidetracked…
Tagged: @leon-fleming
@shannoncv @selah-chelyah @michelle @millennium @devastate-lasting @jenwriter17 @others-seeking-libraries
I just wrote this one; not super long at all, but interesting nonetheless. Don’t really care much for it. Critique or leave it all.
Falling, endless, from the clouds
Cool and wet, the raining swept
Unto the land where in a daze
The soil sang of waterways.
A longing sprouted deep within
And roots were buried far below;
The surface, broken, cracked by heat
And summer’s arid, heated, gaze.
Down, down, down grew fertile growth
With byways filled by deeper roots
Where none would travel, deep was dark
And naught there knew the piercing fall
Of water’s anger felt by dawn
When rays from morning sun then fell
Upon the water’s falling strength
Where sun did glint upon the sight
And shine through waters, glowing bright.
The ground was brought in desperate worth
A coolness, through an Autumn rain
No heat durst bleed unto the land
That tortured, cracked in mighty bays.
The water stayed for endless days
Forever sent to dwell therein
And quench the thirst once felt by land
When clouds were kept in other lands.
I have absolutely no idea whether or not this will post.
Well, it might’ve!
@leon-fleming *puts on reading glasses* Your poem is quite good!
@michelle Thanks!
*poem gets inspected by the rabbit*
The bunny thinks you wrote a good poem.
I think you wrote a good poem too.
A wolf is a wolf,
even in a cage,
even dressed in silk.
@millennium *thinks about petting the rabbit, but refrains; looks at chocolate covered hands with disgust*
Gee, thanks, er…bunny!
XD Thank you, too!