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My dialogue… has much to be desired. The more dialogue I write, the more I loathe what I’m writing, and I have no clue how to fix it!
So what is your best advice for writing dialogue? Any and all advice, insights, tips and what-not are greatly appreciated!
@jenwriter17 @rochellaine @notawriter @ingridrd @that_writer_girl_99 @any-one…..The Kingdom has been torn asunder...
http://www.encircledbygrace.com/@kaya-young It depends on what your dialogue looks like. If you post a piece here or something, I’d be more than happy to give you some pointers 🙂
Overall, my best piece of advice is to make sure that your characters’ vocab isn’t far-fetched. Especially if your story is contemporary or futuristic. For example, this sentence, “Can we progress to the park and frolick in the playground, my dear Uncle Bob?” Obviously, the person speaking is a child, and unless he’s Charles Wallace or something, one wouldn’t expect to hear that coming from a child. “Can we drive to the park and play in the playground, Uncle Bob?” isn’t as flowery, but it’s easier to catch and understand.
Makes sense?
You can pronounce it however you want.
@kaya-young Dekreel has good advice (and yes we’d love to see some of your dialogue! i love snippets…). I think my advice would be to observe how people talk. Observation is a great thing for writers. Just write the dialogue how people talk. Also, it might be helpful (yet I know how much some writers hate doing this) to take a piece of the dialogue you wrote and show it to a friend or fellow writer and ask them what they think, if it’s realistic.
Here’s a link to several of K. M. Weiland’s articles on writing dialogue:
http://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/?s=dialogue
lemme know if this link doesn’t work.
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.com@kaya-young
It’s difficult to give advice without knowing what in particular you are struggling with.. But here’s a couple thoughts.Firstly- Make sure all your dialogue serves a purpose! Everything your characters say is communicating something to the reader. Like, giving a deeper understanding of the characters! 🙂 If they are just talking for the sake of talking your dialogue might end up being rambley and uninteresting. Maybe try to cut out dialogue that doesn’t serve to move the story forward/isn’t relevant to the characters.
Nextly- Keep in mind that different characters might talk differently. Such as certain phrases they tend to say.. Or the way they say stuff etc
Nextly..ly- Just make then talk the way a normal person would! If you can’t imagine it rolling off someones tongue then you either have an.. interesting character.. or a problem.
(But.. uh all of this is just my opinion! ) 🙂and I was so confused
@kaya-young A piece from your writing would be helpful. Also, I’ve found that when character’s aren’t coming across well, it’s because I don’t have a consistent mental image of them. The different mental images make them act like ten people mixed into one which ends up as chaos.
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@dekreel @jenwriter17 @notawriter @daeus Ok, so here goes… I honestly am not sure what exactly is wrong with my dialogue, it just seems off. Without further hesitation, I present to you some of my conversations:
“You did a really good job with your prayer! Who wrote it again? Daisy paused, her hand hovering over a box of tea boasting a chocolate and vanilla flavor.
“Thanks. It was Teresa of Avalanna” Anna shuffled her feet. It would probably be best to walk away now. Before she could, Daisy asked her the question she dreaded.
“So you’re going to the Springville church now” She knew. It was more of a statement than a question, and Anna wasn’t sure what would follow next in this conversation.
“Yeah.” That’s all Anna said, and then Daisy asked her another question she dreaded.
“Do you enjoy it?” Yes! she wanted to shout, more than I’ve enjoyed church for years! But Daisy was not the right person to express her love of the Springville church to.
“Yes, we enjoy it”
“So… Umm do you go in the evenings?
“Yeah, sometimes”
“The said that they went in the evening. I thought maybe I could sometime?”
“Oh, definitely! It starts at 6, and it’s across from the gas station.”
“Ok. I’ll have to try and come sometime.”
Also:
“And you have the testing supplies I sent you?”
“yes;” Aspera nodded.
“And I’m giving it to one of them every so often so it isn’t as noticeable, along with the usual protocol.”
Deitui’s perpetual frown deepened on the video screen fixed to the dark gray wall. “No!” he almost shouted, the muscles in his jaw tightening. calming himself down, he seemed to pick his next words carefully.
“Aspera, I’m depending on you. Who cares about protocol at this point? The Capitis must find a Reacher soon, and you are running out of time…” he trailed off, waiting for her response.
“Sir-” Aspera struggled for the right words. “I just didn’t want it to be like what happend at Olintight. They went too fast, and the test-“
Deitui interrupted her. “We all know what went down at Olintight! work around it Mrs. Vox. Do what you have to, and get the results to the Capitis by next week. There are others that can be an Administrator. You are replaced all to easily.” His words hung in the air, making Aspera gasp for breath. Deitui wasn’t one to make empty threats. “y-yes sir”.
“Good. I’m glad to see that you understand, and I hope it all goes smoothly. Good day, Aspera.” With those parting words the video call ended with a click, leaving Aspera seething at the cold Mr. Deitui Legis.
The Kingdom has been torn asunder...
http://www.encircledbygrace.com/Also @notawriter I really love the word “Nextly” 😉
The Kingdom has been torn asunder...
http://www.encircledbygrace.com/@kaya-young I thought this was good; I actually really liked the second bit 🙂
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.com@jenwriter17 Oh, Thanks! The second one was from my WIP, but I’m not sure I’ll keep it because it has kinda taken a new direction.
There wasn’t anything you see I could improve on? Maybe it’s decent, I could have just looked at it waaay to much.
The Kingdom has been torn asunder...
http://www.encircledbygrace.com/@kaya-young I’m by no means an expert on dialogue, buy yeah it looked good to me 🙂
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.com@kaya-young The first part would flow much better if you separated the topics like this:
“You did a really good job with your prayer!”
“Thanks.”
Who wrote it again?”
“It was Teresa of Avalanna.”And obviously you can put the non-dialogue parts where you find the most fitting.
At the end of the second part, maybe occasionally tell what the characters are doing or what their facial expressions look like so your readers get a more colorful and clear picture of the scene.
On the second part, delete “Deitui interrupted her.” Do a little show don’t tell 🙂
Great dialogues! 😀
You can pronounce it however you want.
Thanks @dekreel ! I will have to remember to show, not tell.
The Kingdom has been torn asunder...
http://www.encircledbygrace.com/@kaya-young I didn’t really see anything you did badly in the passages you have there, but I do like what @daeus said about defining your characters.
Each character should have a slightly different voice. So, whereas one person says “I don’t know,” maybe the second person doesn’t like contractions, and says “I do not know.” (I have a sister who used to do that.)
In real life there are a few words that only one person in the group uses, but then they are used as jokes by others, like if one person always says “I almost died!” whenever something embarrassing happens, the others would say things like “It was really embarrassing,” or “I can’t believe I did that!” But then, when they’re joking, one of them will say “I almost died” with reference to the person who usually says that.
…I hope this makes sense. I think what I’m trying to say is listen to the differences in real life people and the types of conversation they use. 🙂 It’s actually both easier and harder than it sounds. (What?) 😀
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