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Hi guys,
For some reason, I just took it into my head to share with you all my weirdest piece of writing ever. Let’s hope I’m not crazy. Shakespear lovers, please forgive me. The fact is, even though I’m not a huge fan of Shakespear, I still think he’s pretty good, despite what this piece may suggest. Basically, I just took his ‘to be or not to be’ and… made it attack itself. Here it goes:
To read, or not to read: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous literature,
Or to take arms against a sea of follies,
And by abstaining pass them by? To not read: to sleep;
No more Shakespeare; and by sleep to say we sleep soundly
No more the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That Shakespeare is heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To not read, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to wake: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of peace what ignorance may come
When we have shuffled off the fragrant rest,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of such blissful sleep;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of teachers,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of ramen noodles, employment’s delay,
The insolence of know-it-alls and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quiet make
With a puffy pillow? who would assignments bear,
To grunt and sweat under a student’s life,
But that the dread of something after sleep,
The unrelenting scorn from whose assailment
No student survives, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills everlasting
Than drift to others we know too well of?
And thus do school grades make cowards of us all.🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢
I like Shakespeare for the most part, and I do like this. It’s interesting. Nice work, it’s always fun to experiment.
Theater kid. Currently depressed because I can't stop listening to sad musicals.
@DAEUS! *groans* You ruined it! *sobs* And Hamlet isn’t even my favorite either. *oceans of tears*
*goes to console herself by reading Henry V for the eighteenth time*(Hilarious, by the way. 😀 )
@Daeus I’m going to have to read that a few more times to make sure I caught it all, but that was awesome!
About halfway through I realized it didn’t rhyme, and it shocked me because it was flowing so perfectly I hadn’t even noticed. And you got the Shakespearean language down pat.
The part about ramen noodles so made me want to laugh, right in the middle of that ancient poem. 😉I have to ask—how long did it take you to write this?!
@Emma-Flournoy it’s a passage from Hamlet with the key words replaced. 😉
@Kate-Flournoy 😮
Of course I wouldn’t have known that since I haven’t read any of the actual plays…how much of this is Shakespearean original with replaced words?
@Daeus spoofs like that are hilarious.@emma-flournoy Here’s the original.
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover’d country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢
@Daeus XD I didn’t realize the whole thing was a direct spoof. That’s hilarious.
I love this sort of thing! I like Shakespeare myself, but not so much I can’t appreciate it when someone makes fun of him.
@kate-flournoy, if it’s any consolation, I like Henry the Fifth too.You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation. (Isaiah 12:3)
@Northerner *is consoled* His histories are definitely my favorites. Most of his other work I really don’t care for. A few exceptions— The Taming of the Shrew, Much Ado About Nothing, Hamlet, and Macbeth if only for the villain 😛 but the histories are most certainly wonderful. Probably doesn’t help that it’s my favorite period of history too. 😀
I thought Romeo and Juliet was disgusting.@kate-flournoy, I like making fun of Romeo and Juliet, though I make fun of pretty much any romance anyway. I had a class on his Comedies two semesters ago, which left me not liking him as much as I had before — I missed a lot of the crude jokes when I was just reading on my own, as a kid. It’s kind of like Chaucer that way, safer for younger readers than it is for older ones on that account (which is weird).
On the topic of parodies of Shakespeare, has anyone here read Ogden Nash’s “Very Like a Whale”?
You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation. (Isaiah 12:3)
@northerner No. What’s it about?
🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢
@northerner hm, yes. :/ Unfortunately the comedies have a lot of that. Quite honestly I stopped reading the comedies once I got a quarter of the way through The Merry Wives of Windsor. Not worth it. The Taming of the Shrew and Much Ado About Nothing were good. Otherwise, pretty much senseless.
@Daeus, have a link. https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/very-like-a-whale/
You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation. (Isaiah 12:3)
@northerner Hmm. What’s that a parody of?
The subject matter is really horrendous (I’m a metaphor fanatic), but I’m interested to know if there was anything particularly witty about it.
🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢
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