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Heeeey…
So, I kinda wrote a synopsis for my outlined novel. (Yes, I haven’t even started writing the dumb thing yet, but I need a synopsis for… REASONS. *solemn nod* Plus, they’re handy things to have lying around. I’ll change what I have to when the book is finished. So.)
Having never written a synopsis (or anything even remotely resembling a synopsis) before, I was wondering if you could give it a quick critique (and possible bashing) to tell me in extensive detail exactly how horrible it is.
Much obliged.
It is a well-accepted fact in the province of Reed that Fairy Godmothers do exist. You might even have one, if you meet all the requirements to be a Distressed Personage, or your father pays enough money. And if you’re lucky — really, truly lucky — you might be one of those rare few who are chosen at random to receive the benefits of Official Fairy Interference. That’s how it was with Biddle Frankenmore. Of course, she didn’t know that’s how it was; she wasn’t exactly what you would call Heroine Material. She wasn’t beautiful. She couldn’t sing. She wasn’t in any particular sort of distress, besides the occasional tumble down the stairs, or quarrel with her step-sister — a person she wasn’t particularly interested in being related to. But as a Dreamer’s Soul goes, Biddle had perhaps the biggest, brightest, most starry-eyed heart the Fairy Godmothers had ever seen. And as any proper Heroine should, her dreams were mostly centered on a prince, a most attainable prize.
And so, she was chosen.A royal ball was organized. Magic ensued. A glass slipper was produced. And for 3.7 minutes, Biddle really thought her dreams would come true. Until her right shoe grew three sizes larger, and she was forced to hand it over to the only person it would fit — a person who also happened to be her step-sister.
With Fairy Interference gone wrong and an ensuing series of mishaps that threaten her future fortunes, Biddle must find a way to shrink her shoe and salvage what’s left of her dreams. But dreams are expensive entities, and she must eventually face the answer to a horrible question:
What cost is she willing to make her loved ones pay in order to achieve a happily ever after?
I have a sneaking suspicion it’s too long. *chokes*
@Daeus @Kate-Flournoy @That_writer_Girl_99 @Emma-Flournoy @dragon-Snapper @Winter-rose @Jane-Maree @Shannon @All the people and newbies I can never remember the tags for. (Gosh, there’s starting to be a lot of you!)INTJ ➸Your friendly neighborhood mastermind. ➸https://thesarcasticelf.wordpress.com/
@Ethryndal your sneaking suspicion is absolutely correct, but otherwise this is absolutely brilliant.
Seriously, and I almost forgave it for being too long because all of it was awesome. So yeah. It’s good. *vigorous nodding*
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@ethryndal Wow, that sounds like an epic and hilarious story! The synopsis seems slightly long, but, depending on what you are going to use it for, I think it’s great.
It’s really gripping 😀 It makes me want to read the book
And it seems like the story its summarizing would be really unique despite the fact Fairies are used kind of a lot in fantasy, so it’s Awesome
I think actually like @shannon and @kate-flournoy and you said, its too long.
And also, it seems to me the second paragraph gets into details that should be saved for the story, although that was my favorite paragraph.
The last two paragraphs seem to me to be the ones that are most like a synopsis
*Giarstanornarak tries to melt chair*
Also, Daeus has 22 turtles in his signature.@ethryndal *wiggles eyebrows* I wanna read it…although, I feel like I’ve just read the whole book. 😉 It is a tad too long, but that’s nothing a little editing can’t fix. 🙂
A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)
@ethryndal THIS. LOOKS. AWESOME. I totally want to read the book now. I didn’t notice it being too long, though once the others pointed it out, I could see it. The first paragraph was my favorite.
Hmm… general consensus being it’s too long… *tugs nose* How do I go about this…
Okay, so I sheered the top bit off. Better? Worse? Still too long?
Biddle Frankenmore wasn’t exactly what you would call Heroine Material. She wasn’t beautiful. She couldn’t sing. She wasn’t in any particular sort of distress, besides the occasional tumble down the stairs, or quarrel with her step-sister — a person she wasn’t particularly interested in being related to. But as a Dreamer’s Soul goes, Biddle had perhaps the biggest, brightest, most starry-eyed heart the Guild of Fairy Godparents had ever seen. And as any proper Heroine should, her dreams were mostly centered on a prince, a most attainable prize.
And so, she was chosen. A royal ball was organized. Magic ensued. A glass slipper was produced. And for 3.7 minutes, Biddle really thought her dreams would come true. Until her right shoe grew three sizes larger, and she was forced to hand it over to the only person it would fit — a person who also happened to be her step-sister.
With Fairy Interference gone wrong and an ensuing series of mishaps that threaten her future fortunes, Biddle must find a way to shrink her shoe and salvage what’s left of her dreams. But dreams are expensive entities, and she must eventually face the answer to a horrible question:
What cost is she willing to make her loved ones pay in order to achieve a happily ever after?I really have no clue what I’m doing here.
@Kate-Flournoy @Shannon @Princessfoo@Sam-Kawol @Ingridrd Wait, are you two saying I gave too much information? Erg.
INTJ ➸Your friendly neighborhood mastermind. ➸https://thesarcasticelf.wordpress.com/
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@ethryndal, it’s better! However, I might agree with Sam that you could cut out the second paragraph, which is the one that might give a little too much info. The first part of the first paragraph that you just cut out, I personally think was really interesting. It got my attention and made me want to read more. That’s just my personal preference.
@ethryndal Like normal, I love the voice you use.
You might keep a long version like this for use on your blog, but if you’re going to use this on a sales page or book cover, yeah, it needs to be short.
You can probably make the point about her being heroine material shorter and cut out the part about her step-sister
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@Ethryndal definitely better. I love it just how it is, but as Daeus mentioned, you might cut out the first bit about her step-sister without any damage and probably with benefits.
@ethryndal I think pretty much everyone else has said it, but I’ll confirm. It’s too long and it gives too much of the story away. I think you should condense the first paragraph, but don’t cut all of it out, and then completely get rid of the second paragraph, and then I believe it would be short enough to, say, fit on the back cover of a paperback novel, and also won’t be giving away all the important elements (for example, you tell us that her shoe grows in size and only fits her stepsister, [good twist on Cinderella, may I add] but instead of saying that and giving away what could be a good twist, you could just say that the Fairy Godmother does something stupid or that her spell backfires or whatever it is that causes that, without mentioning the actual point). Hopefully that makes sense! otherwise, it’s hilarious and I want to read the book so badly!
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
Okay, peeps, how’s this?
It is a well-accepted fact in the province of Reed that Fairy Godmothers do exist. You might even have one, if you meet all the requirements to be a Distressed Personage, or your father pays enough money. And if you’re lucky — really, truly lucky — you might be one of those rare few who are chosen at random to receive the benefits of Official Fairy Interference. That’s how it was with Biddle Frankenmore. She didn’t know that’s how it was; she wasn’t exactly what you would call Heroine Material. But as a Dreamer’s Soul goes, she had perhaps the biggest, brightest, most starry-eyed heart the Association of Magical Godparents had ever seen. And as any proper Heroine should, her dreams were mostly centered on a prince, a most attainable prize. But when Official Fairy Interference goes wrong and an ensuing series of mishaps threaten her future fortunes, Biddle must find a way to salvage what’s left of her dreams and achieve a desirably magical end. Dreams, however, are expensive entities, and she is forced to untangle a horrible conundrum:
What cost is she willing to make her loved ones pay in order to achieve a happily ever after?
I feel like the transition from paragraph #1 to paragraph #3 is a little choppy, and I’m still not sure if it’s too long. I reeeaaaally kind of want to keep the beginning part, because I think it shows the spirit of the story quite well, but as Daeus said, I may just keep that for blog posts and such. How’s this for a shorter version?
Biddle Frankenmore wasn’t exactly what you would call Heroine Material — the trait of dazzling beauty passed her by, and she wasn’t in any particular sort of distress. But as a Dreamer’s Soul goes, she had perhaps the biggest, brightest, most starry-eyed heart the Association of Fairy Godparents had ever seen. And as any proper Heroine should, her dreams were mostly centered on a prince, a most attainable prize. But when Official Fairy Interference goes wrong and an ensuing series of mishaps threaten her future fortunes, Biddle must find a way to salvage what’s left of her dreams and achieve a desirably magical end. Dreams, however, are expensive entities, and she is forced to untangle a horrible conundrum:
What cost is she willing to make her loved ones pay in order to achieve a happily ever after?
*cringes at the choppiness*
@Shannon @Seekjustice @daeus @kate-Flournoy
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@ethryndal, I like both of them! But especially the first one.
@Ethryndal I LOVE IT. O.o Now I have to pick which version is the best. Yay. I like the first one best, with the phrasing of all the stuff, but as you’ve already been told and are fixing, it’s too long and gives away too much information. Sooo…
I think I like the first one in your latest post best, but with these differences: keep this version of this part— That’s how it was with Biddle Frankenmore. Of course, she didn’t know that’s how it was; she wasn’t exactly what you would call Heroine Material. She wasn’t beautiful. She couldn’t sing. She wasn’t in any particular sort of distress, besides the occasional tumble down the stairs, or quarrel with her step-sister — a person she wasn’t particularly interested in being related to.
Because, it’s so great. And that part about the step-sister gives you the right introduction without giving away the events having to do with her. (Unfortunately, I was just looking back and saw again that that’s exactly what Daeus and Kate said to cut. *headdesk* But I think it’s perfect! There’s other info that’s better cut, I thought…)
Also, this part: Dreams, however, are expensive entities, and she is forced to untangle a horrible conundrum—I like better as Dreams, however, are expensive entities, and she must eventually face the answer to a horrible question: yada yada yada.
AND, this part in every one—And as any proper Heroine should, her dreams were mostly centered on a prince,—is grammatically incorrect. *glares* It should be something like ‘And as any proper Heroine’s should be, her dreams…’ and yada yada yada again.
The problem with your stuff is, basically every sentence has some witty gem in it, and therefore the task of cutting is nigh on impossible.
Anyway. For conveniences’ sake, this is how the paragraph would turn out with all that I just said.
It is a well-accepted fact in the province of Reed that Fairy Godmothers do exist. You might even have one, if you meet all the requirements to be a Distressed Personage, or your father pays enough money. And if you’re lucky — really, truly lucky — you might be one of those rare few who are chosen at random to receive the benefits of Official Fairy Interference. That’s how it was with Biddle Frankenmore. Of course, she didn’t know that’s how it was; she wasn’t exactly what you would call Heroine Material. She wasn’t beautiful. She couldn’t sing. She wasn’t in any particular sort of distress, besides the occasional tumble down the stairs, or quarrel with her step-sister — a person she wasn’t particularly interested in being related to. But as a Dreamer’s Soul goes, she had perhaps the biggest, brightest, most starry-eyed heart the Association of Magical Godparents had ever seen. And as any proper Heroine’s should be, her dreams were mostly centered on a prince, a most attainable prize. But when Official Fairy Interference goes wrong and an ensuing series of mishaps threaten her future fortunes, Biddle must find a way to salvage what’s left of her dreams and achieve a desirably magical end. Dreams, however, are expensive entities, and she must eventually face the answer to a horrible question:
What cost is she willing to make her loved ones pay in order to achieve a happily ever after?
Which still might be too long for a synopsis…I don’t know. I’ve seen really short ones and really long ones, so it’s probably just up to the author. Since this is a particularly catching one (everything in your style just makes people want to keep reading), I don’t think it would matter as much that it was longer.
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I like the idea! It might be a bit long, but if it’s just for you, it doesn’t matter. I wrote a synopsis for a idea that died, but the intended purpose to keep me on track and remind me of what I was writing.
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