Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga
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November 8, 2024 at 5:38 pm #189426
@ellette-giselle This is why I said I wasn’t certain whether or not I agreed with you because of those situations. I feel like lying goes against what God wants us to do as Christians, but I’m not sure what I would do in those scenarios. I researched it early this semester for a school project and didn’t really come away with an answer since there are so many conflicting views.
- This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by hybridlore.
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
November 8, 2024 at 5:53 pm #189431The Bible does repeatedly say how much God hates lies, and although there are certain situations where His people lie (and are possibly blessed for it?), nowhere in the Bible does it say “Lying is okay, if you’re doing it to save people.”
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
November 11, 2024 at 11:03 am #189630@hybridlore @linus-smallprint @keilah-h
NEXT SECTION
“And then your brother found you?”
Noah, Alicia, and Darrien were sitting at the table, listening to Sabina and Adrian as they told what had happened. Asher, Eric, and Joseph were with them, watching the conversation in silence. Noah and Darrien were staring at Adrian in disbelief at this new revelation.
“Yes,” Adrian replied.
“And he didn’t give you away?” Darrien asked.
Adrian shook his head. “He just looked at me for a long moment, and then he told them I wasn’t there.”
“Will he give you away?” Noah wondered.
Adrian shook his head again. “No, Julian wouldn’t do that. He can’t do that.”
“Why didn’t he run with you?” Noah asked.
“I didn’t know you had a brother!” Darrien exclaimed at the same moment.
Adrian nodded. “Yes, Julian is three years older than me. He and I are the only ones left of our family. We’ve been in the army since I was twelve, though I never saw combat until I was fifteen. He and I were very close. He noticed the change that came over me after Aaron died, and he used to ask about it. I was confused and overwhelmed at the time, so I dodged his questions. He knew I was going out in the evenings, but he never said anything to anyone. He asked about it once, but I answered evasively, and he didn’t bother me after that. He’s always been very protective of me. When I ran last night, I can imagine how upset he was. I couldn’t leave him a message, and I was too afraid to tell him why I was leaving. He probably would have tried to stop me.”
“If there was a way we could make contact, do you think he would believe you if you told him why you ran?” Noah asked.
Adrian sighed. “I don’t know. It would be very dangerous, and I don’t want to be connected to anyone else in any way when I do try to make contact with him. I can’t put others in danger.”
Joseph felt a cold chill crawl down his back, and he clasped his hands tightly together.
Sabina looked frightened. “Then… you are going to try to tell him?”
“Yes,” Adrian replied. “I can’t forget that look he gave me. He needs to know! I can’t leave him to die in order to save myself. I will find him and speak to him before I leave. The question is how.”
“We need to pray about it,” Noah said.
They all joined hands around the table, even the little boys, and Noah led them in a time of prayer, asking for guidance and wisdom.
When they finished, Alicia rose. “I’ll start making dinner. Then we need to get ready for the Sabbath Day meeting.”
The others nodded.
“Come upstairs with me, Adrian. You need to get out of that uniform, and I may have something you could borrow,” Darrien said.
Adrian eyed the tall Ardantin. “I doubt it.”
“Well, Noah is taller than me, so I’m your best option,” Darrien grinned.
The two left the room and headed up the stairs. Asher and Eric wondered out into the Livingroom, and Joseph slowly got up to follow. He heard Noah get to his feet and glanced back. Noah was about to leave the room, but Sabina caught his arm. “Wait. I need to tell you something.”
“What is it?” Noah asked, turning back to face her.
Sabina put a hand to her cheek, which was already starting to bruise. She hesitated a moment, and then looked up at Noah. “The Lieutenant…” she trailed off and caught her breath.
Noah’s face took on an expression of concern. “What’s wrong, Sabina? What did he do?”
“Nothing. It’s just… it’s just that I know him.”
Noah started slightly and Joseph froze, a hand on the doorframe.
“Who was he?” Noah asked.
Sabina wrapped her arms about herself and screwed up her face, trying to force back her tears. “He… he was the one who arrested Aaron.” A sob tore from her and she sank down on the bench, crying softly. Alicia hurried to her and wrapped her arms about Sabina, whispering comfortingly.
Noah laid a hand on Sabina’s shoulder, his head bowed.
Joseph turned away and crept from the room, unable to watch Sabina cry any longer.
***
It was dark and quiet as Noah opened the back door of a shop. The little group slipped in, and Noah closed the door quietly behind him. They waited a moment to let their eyes adjust, and then Noah placed a hand on Adrian’s arm. “You’ve never been here, so I’ll guide you.”
Joseph reached out and took Sabina’s hand, following the sound of her steps in the darkness. They came to a set of shelves for storage, and Noah wove his way through them. At last, they came to a small door that almost blended into the wall. Noah quietly pushed it open, and light filled the crack. They slipped in, Darrien closing the door behind them.
Inside was a group of Ardentans. They ranged from all ages, some in couples, some in families, and others single. They looked up at the new arrivals, and as soon as the door closed, they exchanged quiet greetings. Several looked questioningly at Adrian, who kept his head low, and face shadowed by the cloak he wore.
There were benches, chairs, boxes, and arranged in a circle, and several people were already seated. Sabina found a place to sit, and Asher and Eric sat down on either side of her. Noah moved to talk with one of the men, and Darrien took a crate beside Asher. Adrian took the seat next to him, and Joseph scrambled up on the soldier’s other side. Ever since that moment where they had hidden in the cellar, Joseph had inwardly claimed Adrian as his own special friend, and forever afterwords, he always thought of him as “My Adrian.”
More people continued to slip in and take their seats, and soon the little room was nearly full. Noah looked about the gathered people and said something to the man with him. The man nodded and too his seat. Noah walked to the center of the circle, a Bible in his hand. When he reached his place, the people who had been whispering softly fell quiet.
“Let’s open with a song,” Noah said.
He took a deep breath and then began to sing in a clear but quiet voice. The others joined in, and Joseph sang with them. He sang quietly, as they all did, afraid someone might overhear them.
Adrian did not sing, but he listened with a look of pleasure and interest. When the singing was over, Noah spoke. “Before we begin, I would like to welcome our newest brother, Adrian.”
Everyone turned to look at Adrian. The young soldier stood uncertainly and, at a nod from Noah, pushed back his hood. Everyone gasped, and a few of the younger men leapt to their feet, poised defensively over their families.
“He’s of the Empire!” someone exclaimed.
“Noah! You’ve betrayed us all!” anther shouted.
“Everyone, listen to me,” Noah said, holding up a hand for silence. The people looked nervously at him, and then at Adrian. “Adrian, please come here,” Noah commanded, gently.
Adrian walked slowly toward him, and Joseph held his breath, eyeing his own people nervously. Adrian came to Noah’s side and stood, his eyes on the ground in front of him.
“Brothers and sisters,” Noah began. “This is Adrian, former soldier of the Empire. He was the last person Aaron spoke to before he died. Because of Aaron’s faith, Adrian sought me out to learn more of God. After several weeks of study and conversations, Adrian has chosen Christ, and at great risk to himself. He is now on the run from the Empire and has been in hiding in our home. Just today, soldiers searched the orphanage while Sabina and the children were there alone. Through the power of God, Adrian was not captured, and no one was badly harmed. Adrian has come to join us this night as we worship God. Please welcome him as the brother he is.” Noah put an arm over Adrian’s shoulders as he spoke, and Adrian looked up at the people for the first time that evening.
The faces that looked back at the young soldier were wary, and for a long moment there was a tense silence.
All at once, Joseph got to his feet. The sound startled several people, and they turned to look at him. Joseph didn’t notice. He ran forward and grabbed Adrian’s hand. Coming to a stop, he turned and looked back at the others, breathing hard. “Adrian’s not one of the soldiers,” he blurted out. “He’s my friend, and he protected me when the soldiers came.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, Joseph stepped back and ducked partially behind Adrian, still holding tightly to his hand.
Darrian stood. “Adrian is a true brother in Christ. Not only has he proven this with his words, but in his actions to leave the Imperial army. He put his life at risk to do this.”
“What if it’s all a trap,” one of the men asked. “What if they sent Adrian to you in order to trick you into taking him here?”
“If that is what happened, then Christ opened Adrian’s heart during that time,” Noah said. “However he came to us, and whatever the reason he had for coming, I can say with full confidence that he is now a believer in Christ.”
“Noah’s right,” another man said. “God has given the gift of eternal life to all who call upon His name. Not just to the Jews, and not just to the Ardentans.”
There was a low murmur of agreement from several people.
“How can we say we were any more righteous than an Imperial soldier before we were saved?” Noah asked. “Just because they attacked us, doesn’t make us better than them. If we had been a far large country then the Empire, we may have done the very same thing. Adrian is just a man, like us, and the country he comes from doesn’t change that. If God has called him, who are we to stand in the way?”
After a moment of silence, those who had gotten to their feet sat down again, but several Ardentans eyed Adrian uneasily as he moved back to his seat.
Joseph sat down next to Adrian again, his heart still racing after what he had done.
Noah cleared his throat, calling their attention back to the meeting at hand. “Tonight, I would like to turn to Jeremiah 29:11 ‘“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, plans to give you a future and a hope.”’ I know this is a very small section, only one verse, but it is powerful and should not be ignored. Right here is the foundation of our trust in God for the future! God knows what He is doing, He has plans for us, and they are for our good, not for evil. They are for a future and hope! He knows what will come, and He is in control of it all.”
As Noah spoke, Joseph listened with rapt attention. Slowly, slowly, pieces were starting to fit into place. God was able to use Aaron’s death for good! Aaron is safe now, and Adrian has been saved because of what happened. What other good can God do because Aaron died? The thought made him shiver with a strange excitement. He looked up at Adrian, who was leaning forward, a hopeful expression in his eyes.
Joseph smiled and turned his gaze back on Noah. What will God do next?
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 11, 2024 at 11:06 am #189631@ellette-giselle Looks good! I don’t really see anything to fix 😊
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
November 11, 2024 at 11:15 am #189632thanks!
it doesn’t always have to be something to fix, btw. i’m also interested in your thoughts as a reader. 😉
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 11, 2024 at 11:15 am #189633Gotcha. I just meant I didn’t have much to say about the segment, but I still enjoyed reading it.
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
November 11, 2024 at 11:21 am #189634Well good. I’m glad.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 11, 2024 at 2:03 pm #189649Okay! I finally got to read through this so far. Here’s my thoughts:
1) Joseph is a dear little boy who might need to be protected from his author.
2) You tend to rely a little heavily on Telling over Showing. For instance, you saying he is struggling with nightmares is unnecessary, since I can see that well enough from his POV (poor boy). Maybe look at writing as puzzle where you give the reader the pieces, but make them put the picture together. The character’s behavior, words, and actions should be enough to understand their current state of mind/struggles/ect. You already do this, but it’s still an area that could use some growth, especially at the beginning of each chapter.
3) You’ve done a good job of keeping to a single writing voice. Your word choice has been consistent but not repetitive. However, you use a lot of words. As you edit, focus on slimming that down. If one sentence can say the same as several, use one. If one word for many…you get the point. Your prose will become more graceful.
4) I like Adrian. I want him to find his brother, to escape. You had better not be preparing him for martyrdom. *Raises eyebrow*
Anyway, I’m enjoying this. =)
(You had better be nice to Adrian)
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkNovember 11, 2024 at 2:51 pm #189655oh my goodness! Thank you! I had no idea you were reading this! It makes me so happy!!!
Okay, I will keep those things in mind. Thank you!
I know, poor Joseph. I had no problem doing things to Aaron and even killing him before he could marry Sabina, but doing this to a little ten-year-old is kinda tough. lol.
(You had better be nice to Adrian)
Is that a threat?
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 11, 2024 at 2:57 pm #189661Well of course I’m reading it. XD
Ooooffffff I knowwwww. Hurting the poor babies hurts us too…
A threat?
…
Hmmm…
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkNovember 11, 2024 at 3:00 pm #189664Well of course I’m reading it. XD
I wasn’t sure. I’m so happy though! I’ll tag you from now on.
You know if it is a threat that’s practically a dare for me to do bad things to him. lol.
(Good thing for you this is the 3rd draft and I’m not changing major plot points.)
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 12, 2024 at 11:26 am #189697Question:
What would you do if you lived in Germany during WWII and you were hiding a Jewish couple and their baby. The Nazi’s came pounding on the door and said, “Are you hiding Jews?”/”where are the Jews?” etc. (which btw they often asked this type of question to scare people into telling the truth)
What would you say?
Would you tell the truth?To answer that, I will tell you about someone who did not handle this situation by lying. Corrie Ten Boom had a sister named Betsy who was convicted that she should not lie. She too hid Jews. One time, the Natzis came into her house and demanded where she was hiding the Jews. She told them the direct truth, that they were under the table. The Natzis looked under the table and saw no one. They didn’t stop to think that there was a trapdoor underneath the table. Instead, they thought they were being made fun of, and left (I may have some details wrong, but I know there was a situation like this). God honoured Betsy’s conviction.
I still stand by what I said earlier. I don’t believe Jesus would have lied in this situation, for it would be impossible for Him to do so. However, Jesus would have not sinned by handling this a different way (or else, He would not have been perfect). I don’t believe I should lie either, so I would trust God and try to avoid lying in such a situation. Even if the result was the Jews being found and both of us being dragged off to a camp, I know I could still trust God in this.
Like I said earlier, this is a tertiary issue, so I’m not going to get mad and storm out of here if you don’t agree with me or your characters persist in lying. (Some of my characters believe lying is okay anyway.) I also don’t know how to answer every objection from your side either, such as Rahab hiding the Israelite spies. And I recognize that I could be in the wrong here. But this is just what I am convicted of in this situation and I will stand by it.
What do you think of him as a character?
Seems like the Lieutenant is going through some changes. He’s gone from a harsh soldier to someone who would rather leave Sabina alone but still serves his duties. Maybe he was impacted by Aaron’s death as well. I sense a redemption arc.
Now, on your most recent section…
I was excited to see this arrvie in my inbox so I could read it during my break at work yesterday.
Joseph had inwardly claimed Adrian as his own special friend, and forever afterwords, he always thought of him as “My Adrian.”
I can’t say why, and a boy could still do this, but for some reason, the “My Adrian” thing seems more like something a girl would do.
Did Adrian and Julian have any other siblings? I am curious to know where things will go with them.
“What if it’s all a trap,” one of the men asked. “What if they sent Adrian to you in order to trick you into taking him here?”
Adrian should be very glad that self-proclaimed protector Stripe is not defending this church. Well done with the suspicion.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
November 12, 2024 at 4:42 pm #189707It was actually not Betsy. It was Corrie and Betsy’s Niece, Peter and Reuben’s brother, and it was Peter and Reuben who were under the table because someone had seen them with the Jews and informed on them. (At least, that’s what it say’s in Corrie’s auto biography.)
It doesn’t really change anything tho, and I can respect that. But then again I do think that God has blessed those who shielded others, even through lies.
I guess I may have to say that it would depend on the situation.
He’s gone from a harsh soldier to someone who would rather leave Sabina alone but still serves his duties
Really? What makes you think he was harsh before? (Out or curiosity.)
I was excited to see this arrvie in my inbox so I could read it during my break at work yesterday.
Yippy!!! It makes me so excited to know that others were excited to see this!!!
I can’t say why, and a boy could still do this, but for some reason, the “My Adrian” thing seems more like something a girl would do.
*sigh.* That may have been my girl instincts kicking in. whoops.
Did Adrian and Julian have any other siblings? I am curious to know where things will go with them.
Nope. There’s just the two of them. They were orphaned at a young age, and Julian has spent his life trying to be father/mother/protector/provider for Adrian. He ended up joining the army with Adrian because he saw it as the only place that would provide safety, food, and shelter for them.
Adrian should be very glad that self-proclaimed protector Stripe is not defending this church. Well done with the suspicion.
lol. Yep.
Thank you.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 13, 2024 at 8:35 am #189727Gak! Peter and Ruben’s sister. Not brother.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 13, 2024 at 10:34 am #189735@hybridlore @linus-smallprint @koshka @keilah-h
NEXT SECTION!!!!!!
The days passed one by one. Adrian remained in hiding, and Joseph spent more and more time with him, listening as he told stories of his early childhood with his brother– the days before the army.
Adrain spent hours in study, and Joseph was often at his side, reading silently beside him. When Adrian wasn’t studying, he was helping around the house in any way he could. Everyone’s favorite time of day was when Sabina mended the boys’ clothes and told stories– stories from the Bible, stories from the days of free Ardenta, and stories about Aaron.
Adrian had discovered a liking for woodcarving, and while they listened to Sabina, he would carve. He made a wooden boat with a lid that came on and off, and slowly, day by day, he made little animals to go inside; two of each kind.
The boys watched him in fascination as he worked. Joseph’s favorite were the two little horses. He was sure they were the best of all, and he always wanted to hold them. Adrian gave the boat to the boys, and each day they watched the small animals come to life under his deft fingers and the sharp blade of the knife.
One evening, after a time of play and fellowship, Adrian ran a hand over his eyes. “I had better turn in for the night. I’m exhausted.”
“Me too,” Joseph agreed.
Adrian got up, and Joseph hurried to follow him. As he left the room, he heard Alicia’s laugh and Sabina remarked, “I’ll never need to tell him to go to bed again.”
Adrian smiled down at Joseph and mussed his hair with a friendly hand. Joseph looked up at him and grinned.
Adrian leaned close, putting up a conspiratorial hand beside his mouth. “I’ll beat you upstairs.”
The next moment he was off.
Joseph bolted after him and scrambled up the steps. The two of them arrived at the top, laughing and breathless. “I won!” Joseph cheered.
“You did not!” Adrian shot back.
“Yes, I did! Yes, I did!” Joseph exclaimed.
Adrian laughed and pushed Joseph’s head toward the floor. Joseph grinned and rammed his head against Adrian’s chest. The next moment the two of the were in a full out tussle across the hall floor.
After about ten minutes, Sabina came to the bottom of the stairs. “Boys.”
Joseph and Adrian both sat bolt upright, breathing hard. They looked at Sabina, and then at one another.
“Didn’t you say something about going to bed?” Sabina asked.
“Ah, yes, so we did,” Adrian replied. He got to his feet and dusted himself off before giving Joseph a hand up.
Sabina gave them a smile and walked away.
Adrian glanced down the stairs and then leaned toward Joseph. “I still won.”
“No, you didn’t!” Joseph exclaimed.
“Yes, I did,” Adrian whispered.
Joseph rammed his shoulder into Adrian. “Didn’t!”
Adrian put Joseph in a headlock. “Did!”
Joseph wiggled free. “I’ll beat you to my room!” He spun and took off running.
“Oh no you don’t,” Adrian muttered as he took off after the boy.
Joseph pounded down the hall and grabbed hold of the doorframe, skidding into his room. He dashed across the floor and dove onto his bed. “I won! I won!” He cried, bouncing up and down on his knees.
Adrian was standing in the doorway and there was an odd look on his face. Then his eyes narrowed, and a slow grin started at the corners of his mouth. “You just woke up the big bad wolf.”
Joseph paused. “What?”
Adrian nodded gleefully. “He’s going to eat you up for dinner.”
Adrian lunged into the room and Joseph shrieked, diving under his blankets. Adrian dove onto the bed and grabbed Joseph, tickling the boy and making growling noises. Joseph howled with laughter and struggled to get lose. “Let me go!” laughed, trying to wiggle free.
“Tasty little boy,” Adrian snarled, but his laughter ruined the fierce affect. He’s fingers found the back of Joseph’s knee, and the boy began kicking wildly, shrieking with laughter. Adrian rolled to the side to avoid one of the flying feet, and the next moment he was slipping. He grabbed the sheet, but it came lose and both he and Joseph tumbled to the floor. The two lay there, gasping for breath and still laughing.
“Boys?” came Sabina’s voice.
Adrian put a hand over Joseph’s mouth and made a shushing motion.
“Are you two alright?”
“Yes ma’am,” Adrian replied.
“It’s Joseph’s bedtime,” Sabina called back.
“Yes ma’am,” Adrian repeated.
Sabina’s steps turned to leave, and then came back. “For real this time.”
“Yes ma’am.”
Sabina left, and Adrian let Joseph go, laughing under his breath. “Now you got me in trouble.”
“You tried to eat me,” Joseph reminded, his eyes still dancing with fun.
“Well, no more of that,” Adrian said. He got up and fixed the sheet. Then he grabbed Joseph swung him into the air before landing him on the bed. Joseph bounced up and down, but Adrian pushed him flat. “Lay down you little wild cat.”
Joseph obeyed, and Adrian tucked him up. “Now go to sleep.”
Joseph shut his eyes obediently, a grin clinging to the corner of his mouth.
“Wipe the smirk off your face,” Adrian said.
Joseph did so.
“Now, snore,” Adrian ordered.
Joseph obeyed, and a moment later the two had dissolved into laughter. “Okay, go to sleep for real this time,” Adrian said when he caught his breath.
Joseph nodded and rolled onto his side.
Adrian stepped out into the hall and began to close the door.
“Adrian, please don’t,” Joseph said.
Adrian paused. “Is something wrong?”
“Can you please leave the door open until I’m asleep?” Joseph asked, softly.
A gentle look came to Adrian’s face. “Afraid of the dark, eh?”
Joseph nodded slowly.
Adrian leaned forward. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I am too,” he whispered.
Joseph sat up. “Really?”
Adrian nodded.
“Why?” Joseph asked.
Adrian came back into the room and sat down on the side of Joseph’s bed. “Well, it’s mostly tight dark spaces.”
“Like when we were hiding from the soldiers?” Joseph asked.
Adrian grinned wryly. “Yeah, I didn’t like that very much.”
“I wasn’t scared that time,” Joseph said. “Well, at least not of the dark. I was scared of the soldiers though.”
Adrian nodded. “So was I.” He was silent for a moment. Then, he looked up. “What makes you afraid of the dark?”
Joseph thought a moment. “Well, because the dark is all alone, and you can’t see anyone, and I don’t like to be by myself.” He shrugged several times and looked down.
“Do you think your more afraid of the dark, or being alone?” Adrian asked, gently.
Joseph shrugged again. “Maybe being alone. I wasn’t scared of the dark when you were with me.”
Adrian nodded. “I never really minded being alone. I like to get away to think.”
“I don’t mean that,” Joseph said. “I mean being alone. All alone. All by yourself with no one to go to if you need help.”
Adrian looked up at him. “I guess that is different.” He smiled slightly and rested a hand on Joseph’s shoulder. “You know, we aren’t all alone anymore. God will always be with us, no matter where we are or how dark it is. Right?”
Joseph nodded.
They were silent again, but after a moment Adrian smiled. “You had better get some sleep.”
Joseph nodded and lay back down. A yawn escaped him as Adrian tucked the blankets over him once more. “Good night,” he said, squeezing Joseph’ shoulder.
“Night Adrian,” Joseph replied.
***
In the days that followed, it was rumored that house searches continued for the rouge soldier, and Noah and Darrien often heard their fellow worker speculating on what sort of reward would be offered for his capture. However, no one ever came back to the orphanage, and as the days stretched into weeks they began to relax. The searches became less frequent, and soldiers stopped patrolling the streets so thoroughly.
Two months after Adrian had first sought refuge in the orphanage, he, Joseph, and Noah were walking quietly along the alleyways on their way home from the Sabbath meeting. It was very early in the morning, and the world was lit with the grey light before dawn. Sabina, Darrien, Asher, and Eric had gone on ahead, for Noah deemed it was better that less of them be seen together.
Joseph listened as Noah and Adrian spoke softly together. “Now that the searches have died down, I’m ready to move,” Adrian said in a low voice.
“Then you’ll make contact with your brother?” Noah asked.
Adrian shook his head. “No, I want to get away from the orphanage first. I need to go somewhere that you won’t know. Then, if you’re asked, you won’t have to try to lie.”
Joseph’s eyes were blurring with tears, but he forced himself to keep walking. All at once he tripped. Noah turned. “Joseph, are you alright.” He moved to help the boy back up.
Tears slipped down Joseph’s face, and he bit his lip hard to keep from crying.
“Oh Joseph, it wasn’t that hard of a fall,” Noah comforted. “You aren’t even bleeding.”
“I don’t want Adrian to go,” Joseph whispered.
Adrian turned to see what had happened. He froze, his eyes wide with fright. “Noah, soldiers,” he said in a low voice.
Without looking, Noah swept up Joseph and came to Adrian’s side. The two continued walking but quickened their pace. “First turn,” Noah said.
Joseph caught a glimpse of the men in uniform and a shudder ran through him. They took a turn, and Adrian glanced at the road they had just been on. “Six,” he said, pulling his hood lower.
Noah broke into a half run and then skidded to a stop. Crouching down, he pushed a bewildered Joseph behind several of the barrels stacked behind a building. “Get farther in,” He whispered.
Joseph nodded and crawled along the cold cobblestones until he could go no farther. It was dark and cold in there, and Joseph shivered. He turned and looked back. Joseph was crouched beside the first barrel, looking back toward the street. Joseph heard him suck in a breath and saw him duck down behind the barrel.
A sliver of light caught Joseph’s eye, and he crouched down to peer between the barrels. Adrian was still out there, walking slowly down the street. Turning his head, Joseph though he caught the flicker of a uniform. Adrian hadn’t moved fast enough to get into hiding.
Joseph heard the soldiers talking. “Take the street the rest of the way down, we’ll go this way.”
Steps hurried off one direction, and then several sets of steps drew closer. Then a voice called out; “You, there. Stop!”
Adrian froze, his back still to the soldiers. Joseph watched through the crack, his face pale with horror. The guards came into view and Joseph stiffened, a sickening feeling twisting inside of him. There were three of them. The other two must have gone down another street.
“Turn around,” one of the soldiers snapped.
Adrian did so, keeping his head low.
“Where are you going at so early an hour?” the guard asked.
“Work,” Adrian replied.
“Look at me when I’m talking to you,” the guard snapped.
Joseph watched as Adrian slowly looked up. The soldier opened his mouth to say something, and then stopped short. The next moment he lashed out, yanking back Adrian’s hood. It fell back, revealing his light blond hair. “It’s the traitor!” the soldier yelled in surprise.
Adrian twisted but the soldier gripped his hood tightly and drove a fist into his side. Adrian doubled over, choking for breath.
Joseph pressed his fists against his teeth, forcing back a scream. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the horrible sight. He dragged in a broken as tears flooded his eyes.
Adrian had been struck again and was now crumpled in the street as the guards continued to kick him and rain down blows from above. Adrian covered his head with his arms and Joseph heard him cry out in pain as another savage blow fell.
Joseph closed his eyes tightly, sobbing silently. He tasted blood and vaguely realized he was biting his knuckles. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter. God do something! Stop them! Stop them! The desperate pleas tore from Joseph’s heart as he continued to shake with silent tears.
“Stop! Stop right now!”
Joseph looked up, blinking tears from his eyes. He saw Adrian lying on his side, his arms raised to shield himself from a blow. The soldiers standing over him were looking back down the street.
Joseph held his breath.
Steps pounded down the street, and another soldier appeared. He stopped short, and there was silence, save Adrian’s coughing and ragged breathing.
The new soldier shoved one of the others out of the way and dropped to his knees beside Adrian. Beyond their blond hair, Joseph could see that he looked exactly like Adrian. In fact, they could have passed for twins. Hope flickered in Joseph’s heart. Julian! He had only seen him once, but he would remember that face anywhere.
Julian wiped the blood from his little brother’s face and then placed a hand on his shoulder, gripping it tightly.
“It’s the one we’ve been looking for,” one of the soldiers explained.
“I know that you fool,” Julian snapped back. “But he’s no traitor. My brother has served in the imperial army far longer than any of you. He is more loyal than you know. It’s all a misunderstanding.”
“He deserted,” another said.
“No!” Julian shot back. “No, Adrian would never do that.” He looked down at his brother, who was struggling for breath. “Tell them Adrian! Tell them it’s a mistake.”
For a moment there was silence, and Joseph watched, unable to breathe. He didn’t fully understand, but something in him knew that for Adrian to say it was a mistake would be wrong. He tried to swallow but couldn’t.
At last, Adrian spoke. “It’s no mistake.”
Julian drew back sharply. “What? Are you out of you mind!”
Adrian struggled to support himself on his elbow. “I can’t go back. I can no longer serve the Empire. I have found truth, and I now see the gods we once served are nothing but lies. I can’t continue to worship them or enforce that on others. I cannot go back to the sin I once lived in.”
One of the soldiers stepped forward, but Julian rounded on him furiously. “Get back!” he screamed, furiously, and all three of the soldiers took a step back.
Julian spun back to Adrian. “Don’t be a fool! Come back Adrian. As your older brother, I demand that you come back.”
Adaain shook his head. “I can’t.”
Julian smacked him across the face. “Have you gone mad! They’ll kill you Adrian, just like they did that Vendailian, and it will be far worse. Snap out of it and stop acting like a fool!”
Adrian looked up at his older brother. “I can’t Julian.”
“Lieutenant Fischer will set things right, Adrian,” Julian pleaded. “He’ll make them understand, and you can come back to us.”
Adrian looked up at him, blood trickling from a cut across his cheekbone. “You don’t understand, Julian. I can’t go back. I don’t believe in your gods.”
Julian let out a cry of anger and fear. “Adrian, stop it! Stop it now!” He grabbed his brother’s shoulders. “Don’t you understand! They’ll kill you! They’ll drag you out to the temple and they’ll kill you, just like they did to the Vendailian!”
Joseph could see Adrian was breathing unevenly, but his expression was steady. “God has the power to save my from their hands, but if it is His will that I die, then I’ll die.”
Julian recoiled from Adrian as if he were something dangerous.
Two of the soldiers stepped forward and yanked Adrian to his feet. His face twisted in pain, and he staggered in their grasp.
Julian slowly stood; his eyes still locked on his brother.
One of the soldiers shook Adrian savagely. “And die you shall, traitor,” he spat.
Adrian looked up at Julian. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, Julian. I wish I could help you see–”
Julian held out a hand to silence Adrian. He turned away, and Joseph saw the hurt and pain on his face. His shoulder’s stiffened, and he walked swiftly away, leaving Adrian in the grip of his captors.
One of the soldiers spun and backhanded Adrian across the mouth. Adrian’s head snapped back, and he gasped in pain.
Joseph was frantic. Everything in him wanted to run out there and make them stop hurting Adrian. Tears once more streaked his face and a whimper escaped him.
Several more blows fallowed, and Adrian gritted his teeth. All at once a cry tore from him and he fell to his knees, gasping for breath and coughing as tears streaked his face.
Joseph let out a scream that tore through his whole body and was smothered in his clenched hands. He closed his eyes and doubled over, shaking with sobs.
“That’s enough,” one of the soldiers said. “They’ll want him conscious for interrogation.”
Joseph looked up again. Adrian was still on his knees, his arms held by two of the soldiers. The third shoved Adrian’s head back, forcing him to look up at them. “You had better pray to all the gods you know, boy, because you’ll be dead in a few hours.”
The soldier let Adrian go, and the others hauled him to his feet. Then they dragged him away.
Joseph curled up, crying brokenly, the sound muffled against his knees. After a few moments, he heard movement. Noah’s hands found him, and Joseph felt himself pulled into the young man’s strong arms. He clung to Noah and wept on his shoulder.
Why God? Why!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
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