Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga
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December 18, 2024 at 12:42 pm #192308
This is getting very interesting! I wonder what shenanigans will follow now they’re all together, yet I’m worried about who is getting struck next.
I’m so glad it’s interesting!
I think by now I’m in the safe zone of not having a dark-haired Aaron instead of a Joseph. With the differences in ploit between the two books, I think I’ll be okay. Agree?
Amelia is a sweetheart with a spine of steel. I love when she’s on set.
Oh goodness! I love that girl!!! She has to be one of my favorite female characters. She and Joseph are perfect!
I thought they were walking?
yep. They are.
I don’t know why that’s in there or why I didn’t catch it this morning.
Anyway, lovely bit as usual. Thought I’d actually acknowledge I was reading it. XD
Knowing that you’re reading means so much to me! I’m so glad you’re enjoying it!!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
December 18, 2024 at 12:51 pm #192310He has become his own character with his own separate struggles and personality. Plot wise? Yeah, it’s different.
If you mean you’re safe to start knocking them off…😎 Beware of repercussions. 😎
Just kidding. Do what is best for the story.
Oh goodness! I love that girl!!!
You know, she would be fun in a RP with my charrie Winifrith. (Maybe around the time Wini is serving with her husband in the Vales. Or maybe when she’s a young girl struggling with the voices in her life. Either way, lots of fun. XD)
Happens to the best of us. 🙂
Of course! It’s better to write something when you get feedback/it’s enjoyed.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
December 18, 2024 at 1:00 pm #192312Covid 19 was not the plague.
more people died falling out of their BEDS or being bit by SNAKES then from Covid.
Oh, right.
Well then. If you will, allow me to rephrase that:
Watch out, Joseph, Plauge restrictions are headed your way!
December 18, 2024 at 1:02 pm #192313Is that a threat?
I love threats!!!!
Yes, she is a lot of fun.
Much better
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
December 18, 2024 at 1:21 pm #192314@hybridlore @linus-smallprint @koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @grcr
DAVID
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
December 18, 2024 at 1:21 pm #192315@hybridlore @linus-smallprint @koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @grcr
STEPHEN
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
December 19, 2024 at 10:41 am #192366Good section! And I like the boards. I’m interested to see what will happen now that they’re in the city again.
Two things:
The first thing that I noticed was… I forgot who William was. I thought he might be one of Amelia’s brothers 🫣, but I wasn’t sure. I think, with the amount of characters we have, especially the ones we’ve barely seen any of, (like in Joseph and Amelia’s church group) you haven’t really given us enough scenes with them. Yes, I know this is something you’re planning to go back in and do. But, as it is, maybe just adding a little more description when each character is reintroduced would help a lot.
Second thing: the border thing with William confused me a little. What border are we even talking about? This could just be me, but… I thought the border had been reopened a while ago—so people could come in and out of the Capital. And then Joseph and Amelia are able to leave, just like that? I’m assuming that there are two different borders… but I didn’t really understand it. Again, maybe a little more context or description would help with that.
Otherwise, good job!
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
December 19, 2024 at 12:50 pm #192378The first one you used on the David one looks like a good image if someone was to create a board for my character Alan. It’s a somewhat troubled, somewhat determined look. (Steals for future drawing reference).
From those boards, David brings Frodo Baggins to mind whereas Stephen’s makes me think of Pippen Took.
December 19, 2024 at 3:49 pm #192400Um, not at all their characters, but that’s funny itr makes you think of them.
Lol, That’s funny the David one makes you think of Alan. (Isn’t the hair wrong?)
I wonder if that’s really going to be a problem when you are reading the book straight through, because William is introduced literally only two scenes ago. It just seems like a long time on here.
The boarder. The gates have been open, but Ardenta is still closed off from the rest of the world.
I was hoping to post a new section today but I’m swamped. So, I’m afraid it will have to wait until tomorrow.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
December 20, 2024 at 10:05 am #192443True.
Okay, that makes more sense. But why would William want to do that? What’s out there beside Ardenta? I get he’s coming from an emotionally unstable place, but it seems sort of random.
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
December 20, 2024 at 10:11 am #192444Vendailia is beyond.It’s not a bad idea to run the boarder, but it’s a bad idea to do it emotionally unstable and with part of a death wish, if you know what i mean.
Several soldiers already escaped by doing this.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
December 20, 2024 at 10:24 am #192445@hybridlore @linus-smallprint @koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @grcr
NEXT SECTION
The next morning, the adults were up bright and early, surprisingly before the children. “Amelia, why don’t you join us girls in the kitchen,” Sabina said when Amelia and Joseph appeared. “We can work on the big breakfast for the children.”
“Oh, I’d love to,” replied Amelia.
“Joseph, come join us,” Asher called.
Joseph looked over at the table. “Eating already?”
“Eric and I have got to leave soon. There’s a shipment to be unloaded today,” Asher replied. “Darrien and Noah decided to join us.”
Joseph glanced at Amelia. “I’ll probably wait to eat.”
“Oh, go ahead,” Amelia laughed. “Just have a nibble of something and then we’ll eat breakfast together later.”
Joseph hesitated, but Amelia slipped her arm out of his and gave him a playful push. “Go on.”
Joseph smiled and kissed her.
Eric whooped.
Joseph spun about and Eric ducked under the table. “Yeah, you better hide!” Joseph threatened playfully. He moved over and sat down next to Asher.
“Here Joseph,” Noah said, passing him a bowl of thick porridge. “Darrien didn’t make it, so don’t worry.”
Darrien kicked him under the table.
Joseph laughed and accepted the bowl. “So, Eric, I gather you’re working with Asher now?” Joseph asked.
Eric swallowed a bite of bread and nodded.
“You still working for the smith?” Joseph inquired.
Asher shook his head. “No, he left a little while after the gates were opened. We work in a weaver’s shop.”
Joseph choked on a mouthful. “Weaver?”
Asher grinned. “We do all the deliveries, carting, hauling, moving, lifting… all that sort of thing. We don’t weave.”
Eric nodded emphatically.
“Noah got a position as a scribe’s assistant,” Asher put in.
Joseph looked over at Noah. “How’s that been?”
Noah shrugged. “I don’t love it. It’s a lot of strain on my eyes, and I honestly prefer working with my hands. However, it’s the job the Lord has provided, and for that I’m thankful.”
“So, what has it been like now that Sabina has all these new orphans running about?” Joseph asked.
Noah groaned. “Like you, Asher, and Eric were. Times thirty.”
“Oh no,” Joseph laughed. “That bad?”
Darrien grinned. “That bad.”
“Truthfully, I’ve loved it,” Noah admitted. “Having children everywhere always brings life to a place.”
“Having them here makes me appreciate all that Sabina did for us when we were that age,” Eric added.
Asher nodded. “She’s certainly the kind of woman a man would want as a wife.”
“A woman like Mr. Cuthborn’s daughter?” Eric asked with a sly grin.
Asher kicked him savagely.
“It’s not like we haven’t noticed,” Darrien chuckled.
“Wait, what are you talking about?” Joseph asked, leaning forward with a wide grin.
“Asher might have found his girl,” Eric chortled.
Asher groaned. “Not this again.”
“He walked into the Sabbath meeting one morning and suddenly saw her for the first time,” Noah added.
“It’s not like that,” Asher said. “I just admire her, that’s all.”
“Admire? Is that all?” Darrien laughed.
“You must not admire anyone else in the world if you call that admire,” Noah added with a wicked grin.
Asher crossed his arms. “You lot are impossible.”
Eric was thoroughly enjoying himself. “Just wait until he sees her. He’ll be a stuttering mess.”
Darrien leaning back. “Or he’ll trip over his own feet.”
“Like when you tried to talk to her after the meeting two weeks ago, remember?” Noah evilly reminded.
“Stop!” Asher groaned, but the corner of his mouth was twitching.
Darrien snickered. “It’s too good! You froze up, then just walked away.”
Noah nodded, trying to hold back his laughter. “And the poor girl was standing there so confused.”
Asher forced a glare at them all. “I’m never taking any of you into my confidence again.”
At that Noah and Darrien dissolved into laughter. “But you didn’t! We just saw the obvious!”
Joseph was grinning, looking from one to the other and trying to figure out if they were serious. Before he could ask, Asher started to his feet. “Eric, we’re late! We have to go.”
“Oh, that’s convenient,” Darrien teased.
Asher turned in the doorway and pointed a threatening finger. “You’re in for it later.”
Then he and Eric were hurrying out into the hall.
Joseph turned to Noah and Darrien. “Is it true that he’s interested in her?”
“More than interested,” Darrien chuckled.
“But it’s for him to tell,” Noah added.
“Well, we had better gather our things,” Darrien said. “We need to leave soon if we want to be one time.”
***
Later that morning, after all the children were awake and had eaten breakfast, Joseph wandered into the kitchen and found Sabina packing up a large basket. “What are you doing?”
“Going to the alley children,” she replied with a smile.
“Let me come with you,” Joseph said.
Sabina hesitated. “I don’t know if he would like it.”
“Who?”
“Their leader.”
Joseph laughed. “Sabina, this is a child we are talking about.”
“I know, but you ought to show him some respect. After all, he is the reason those children are alive, and he sacrifices so much for them. I can see it. I don’t want him to be frightened or challenged by your presence.”
“I’ll respect his territory,” Joseph said, soberly, but a grin lingered at the corner of his mouth. “You must let me come and help you carry this stuff. Besides, I have been longing to meet them.”
Sabina smiled. “Alright. I wish you could meet the little boy I have been telling you about.”
“The one who held your hand?”
“Yes.”
“Well, why can’t I? Where is he?”
“I don’t know, but I haven’t seen him for a week,” Sabina replied. “I hope he’s alright.”
Joseph smiled reassuringly. “He’s probably staying nice and warm in some little hidie-hole, wrapped up in the blankets you gave them.”
Sabina snapped her fingers. “Oh, that reminds me, I have some more. Let me go get them.”
Joseph found Amelia playing on the floor with several children in the main room of the orphanage. “I’m going out with Sabina to the alley children,” he said.
“Do you want me to come, or can I stay and play with the children?” Amelia asked, turning adoring eyes on the little ones.”
“Go ahead and stay, we shouldn’t be long,” Joseph smiled.
Soon Sabina and Joseph were walking through the silent streets. “It’s so strange and quiet,” Joseph remarked.
“Everyone is hiding,” Sabina replied.
At last, they came to narrower streets and dirtier houses. As they continued, the streets grew narrower and the buildings more dilapidated. “What happened here?”
Joseph asked, skirting a wide hole in the road.“We’re close to the western wall. This place received a lot of damage during the segue,” Sabina replied.
“Almost ten years ago!” Joseph exclaimed, stepping over a broken pillar.
“The governor didn’t deem this place important enough to repair,” Sabina replied, lifting her skirt so she could climb a pile of rubble. “You remember how the temple and palace was prioritized, and after that the repair work sort of dwindled.”
Joseph nodded.
“Well, this has always been a bad part of the city, and it just wasn’t worth the effort I suppose.”
“Does anyone live here anymore?” Joseph asked, ducking under a sloping beam as he entered a side street.
“No, only the children,” Sabina replied.
Joseph slowly shook his head. “This is no place for anyone to live, but especially not children.”
“I know,” Sabina sighed. “But there’s not much I can do.”
Joseph stooped under a crumbling archway and followed Sabina through a narrow ally. At last, they stepped out into the light, and Joseph looked about. Piles of rubble surrounded them, and several buildings had caved in on themselves. The light seemed dim, and the air was clouded with dust. Sabina walked up to a house that had lost most of its roof. She sat down on the porch step, the pile of blankets on her lap. Joseph cautiously sat down beside her; the basket of food balanced on one leg. The step creaked loudly, and he started slightly. Sabina held her hand out, cautioning him to stay still.
Joseph tried to relax. He let his eyes wander over the place, looking for any sign of life. There was none. Joseph turned to Sabina, a question on the tip of his tongue. She put her finger to her lips, and Joseph turned away.
At long last, Sabina looked up and smiled.
Joseph saw nothing, but he felt someone was watching them.
“It’s alright,” Sabina said. “This is my son, Joseph. He came to help me carry all the food and blankets. He won’t hurt you.”
There was no movement for about ten minutes, and Joseph tried not to move. It was an uncanny feeling, knowing someone was watching him like that. At last, Joseph saw a tall lanky figure in the shadows. He came closer, and Joseph saw it was a boy. He walked with a limp, but his shoulders were squared and his head thrown back. When he stepped into the light, Joseph took one look at his face and knew he was the leader Sabina had told him of. The boy stood, challenging Joseph with a stare. Joseph met the challenge, and the two looked at each other, measuring one another and gaging intent. Then the boy’s eyes narrowed. “Touch one of them, and you die,’ he said.
Joseph nodded slightly. The boy continued to watch him for a moment. Then, he looked to Sabina. At a slight movement of his hand, several children edged out of the shadows and crept toward the pair. Their faces were so dirty, Joseph couldn’t even see the skin beneath. Their clothes were torn, and a few were barefoot while others had cloth tied over their feet.
They edged up on Joseph, their eyes darting over him, some approaching in a crouch that brought them close to all fours. Joseph felt an instinct to recoil, but he fought it off and watched the children come nearer. Soon, the initial shock was replaced by pity and sorrow, and his eyes stung. He reached into the basket and brought out a loaf of bread. The children jumped back at his movement, and one of the boys hissed at him like a frightened cat.
Joseph very slowly held out the bread. For a long time, the children wouldn’t move. Finally, one boy came closer. He turned sideways and crouched, one hand on the ground ready to push himself into a run, the other slowly reaching toward Joseph. Joseph held his breath, not moving an inch. He felt the boy’s cold little fingers against his, and then the bread was snatched away and the boy bolted.
For over an hour Joseph and Sabina sat there, and as the time stretched on, the children came up to Joseph more easily.
At last, the basket was empty, and the blankets were gone. Joseph made to get up, but Sabina put a hand on his arm. They sat and waited until the last child was long gone. Then they slowly stood and walked away.
Joseph couldn’t bring himself to speak for a long time, and he followed Sabina silently as they wound their way back through the dark and dying part of the city.
It was only when they were nearing the orphanage that Joseph found his voice. “How do you do it? How can you bear seeing them every day! It tears me up to think of it. Oh, I wish they would come!”
“That is exactly how I felt, and still do,” Sabina replied.
After a long moment, Joseph spoke. “Are you going tomorrow?”
She nodded.
“Let me come with you.”
Again, she nodded.
***
That evening, after supper, Joseph slipped outside. It was cold, and he wrapped his cloak tighter. Walking to the stairs, he took them two at a time and stepped out onto the roof.
Someone started, and Joseph jumped. “Who’s there?”
“Asher. You cared me.”
“Sorry,” Joseph replied. He took a few more steps and tipped his head back, turning in a slow circle. “I’ve missed seeing the stars like this.”
“Don’t they have stars in your town,” Asher joked.
“Yes, but there’s something about this roof that makes them look different.”
“Where’s Amelia?” Asher wondered.
“Inside. She’s helping Alicia dress and wash several of the little girls for bed,” Joseph replied. He sat down next to Asher, dangling his legs over the edge of the roof. “So, tell me about Mr. Cuthborn’s daughter.”
Asher grinned, and Joseph could almost see the red flush on his face. “I ought to have strangled Eric for letting it out like that.”
“Eric should have been strangled for a lot of things in his young life,” Joseph agreed. “I honestly don’t know how he’s still alive.”
Asher laughed.
“You still haven’t answered the question,” Joseph pointed out.
Asher sighed, but Joseph could tell he wasn’t annoyed. “They’re all making a big deal out of nothing.”
Joseph waited patiently.
Asher shook his head and laughed again.
“What’s her name?” Joseph prompted.
“Evelyn,” Asher replied. “Evelyn Cuthborn.”
“And what’s she like?”
“Like Sabina,” Asher grinned. “But different too. She’s funny and sweet, and she loves God with all her heart. And you should hear her sing!” Asher laughed again. “Well, I think you get the picture.”
“Have you talked to her father yet?” Joseph asked.
Asher shook his head. “No, not yet. I want to pray and wait a little longer. I want to make sure it’s not just her charm and looks that have attracted me. But I don’t think it is,” he added, confidently.
Joseph sat quietly for a moment. Then, he looked up. “Wait a moment, wasn’t she the little thing with the missing front teeth who used to play with us after sabbath?”
“Yes,” Asher grinned. “That’s her.”
“Asher, she’s just a baby,” Joseph said.
“That’s what I thought,” Asher replied. “Then, one morning I walked in, and she was suddenly a woman.”
“How old is she?” Joseph asked, skeptically.
“Seventeen, but she’ll be eighteen in a couple months,” Asher replied.
“Really?” Joseph laughed. “I had no idea she was only four years younger than me.”
“Four years is a lot when you’re young,” Asher reminded.
Joseph smiled and slowly shook his head. “Well, well, what do you know.”
***
The next morning, Joseph and Sabina set out again for the alleys. Amelia didn’t mind being left behind, for she was busy making friends with the children and was in high demand for stories.
When the two finally arrived, Sabina led Joseph to the porch step once more. They waited for a long time, and Joseph saw Sabina’s eyes were closed and her head was tilted slightly. She must be listening for their steps!
While Joseph waited, he found himself praying. Praying for the children, asking that God would protect them, and would bring them out. Asking that they would come to trust Sabina before it was too late.
At last, the young leader appeared. He did not approach cautiously like yesterday. Instead, he walked straight toward the two, his eyes on Sabina.
Joseph stiffened; his eyes locked on the approaching figure. Like Sabina, he no longer doubted this boy had killed a soldier to protect his own, and Sabina was just a girl. There wouldn’t be much she could do against him.
The boy was almost on them now, and Joseph moved to rise and step in front of him.
Sabina’s hand came down on Joseph’s arm, and she gripped him with such force that Joseph was shocked enough to remain still.
The boy stopped just in front of Sabina and held out a hand. “Come.”
Sabina drew in a slow breath and let go of Joseph, placing her hand in the boy’s. Joseph scrambled to his feet, and the boy whipped toward him.
“Joseph, stay back,” Sabina said quietly.
Sick with dread, Joseph watched Sabina turn her back on him. The boy still had his cold eyes fixed on Joseph. Those are the eyes of a killer, Joseph thought, and he closed his own eyes. “Oh, Father protect her,” he breathed.
The boy finally looked away from Joseph and turned, walking toward the alley.
Joseph slowly followed. He knew the boy knew he was there, but so far, he had not told Joseph to stay.
The three wound deeper and deeper into the alleys along twists and turns, ducking under fallen beams and sloping roofs. They slid into tiny passages between wreckage or climbed over piles of rubble.
At last, they crouched and passed along something that resembled a tunnel, ducking under ruined buildings. They straightened in a place sheltered from the wind by several buildings whose walls still stood.
Here, Joseph saw children all around. They were crouched in corners, huddled together, or wrapped in blankets. They all looked at Joseph with eyes that were dull and lifeless.
These children lived, but they were a living dead. It made him shudder.
The boy led them to a place where several boulders and beams had been stacked up with blankets forming the roof. Here, three children lay.
One was a girl of about fifteen, lying very still, her eyes closed and tears slipping through her lashes. Another was a teenage boy, his face white and lips stained with blood. Joseph saw in one glance that he was dead. The other was a little boy who lay coughing violently, his face pale and blood staining the blanket he held over his mouth. With a cry of grief and alarm, Sabina lunged toward him.
Joseph’s hand shot out, catching her by the arm. “Sabina no! Don’t touch him!” he cried desperately.
She paused and looked at him. Her eyes were not angry, or accusing, but Joseph couldn’t meet them with his own. His hand loosened on her arm, and Sabina stepped away. She dropped to her knees and gathered the boy up, cradling him in her arms and speaking in soothing tones.
Joseph was completely at war with himself. He knew how much these children needed help, but they had the plague! If Sabina were to catch it… The thought made him sick.
The boy who had brought them stood watching; his eyes slightly narrowed. At last, he spoke. “He needs help, and so does she. Take them home. I know you will help them.”
Sabina nodded, gathering the little boy into her arms and letting his head rest on her chest. Joseph took off his cloak and spread it over the child. The boy’s eyes opened slightly, and for a moment he looked at Sabina. Then he relaxed in her arms, closing his eyes again.
Joseph bent and swept up the girl up. Her head fell against his shoulder, and she managed to get a thin arm around him.
Sabina turned to the young leader. “Come, all of you.”
He looked down and shook his head.
“We have room, good food, warm clothes, and we will love and protect the children.”
“I can’t trust again,” he said in a low voice.
“They will die out here. More will get sick, the cold and hunger will make them week, and they will die.”
The boy still shook his head.
Sabina stepped forward until the two were mere inches apart. “You love them. I know you do. Please don’t let them die like this.”
“I can’t… I can’t trust you,” he whispered.
“You already have,” Sabina said, softly.
“I brought you because he wept for you,” the young leader replied, nodding to the child in her arms.
“But you trusted me not to harm him, or tell anyone where you hide,” Sabina reminded, gently. “Come home.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “I love them, and I will protect them. I love you.”
He started, going ridged. Then, he slowly looked up at Sabina. “Can we leave?”
“The moment you wish.”
Again, there was a long silence. Then, the boy nodded.
***
“Upstairs, hurry,” Sabina ordered.
Amelia came into the room. “Oh, my goodness, Joseph what’s happening?”
“Stay back,” Joseph warned, stepping away from her. He shifted the girl in his arms and nodded to the children who were cautiously looking about them. “They need help.”
Amelia nodded and turned toward them. Smiling brightly, she began to give out instructions as if she had known them all their lives.
After a slightly startled look passed over his face, the young leader nodded to his little band, and they did as she said.
Joseph turned and hurried to follow Sabina upstairs. He found her in the farthest back bedroom that had belonged to Jenny and Adeline. Now that the girls were moved out, the back room was empty once more. She was sitting on one of the beds made ready for the next children who came, still cradling the boy in her arms, rocking him gently and whispering to him. She looked up as Joseph entered.
“Take her to the bedroom next to this one. She might not have the plague, please God, and we don’t want her to get infected.”
“He does?” Joseph asked, though he already knew the answer.
Sabina nodded, tears filling her eyes. Joseph backed out of the room and was nearly scared out of his wits by the appearance of a teenage girl right behind him. He bit back a cry of surprise and smiled. She looked at him out of ratted hair and a filthy face. “That’s my sister,” she said, nodding to the girl he was holding. “I’ll help care for her.”
“Not if she’s sick,” Joseph replied. “I don’t want you to fall ill as well.”
“If she dies, I have nothing to live for,” the girl replied. She took a threatening step forward. “Don’t try to stop me.”
Joseph let out a deep breath. He really did need someone to do things like bathing and changing the girl, and it would also free him up to move between the two rooms.
“Alright. You may help,” he said. He carried the girl to the room and laid her on the bed. He went to the stairs and asked Amelia to toss him up a clean nightgown. She threw him several of different sizes. Joseph dragged a large wooden tub into the room and he and the girl took turns going to the stairs to receive hot water in buckets from Amelia. On the last bucket, Joseph grabbed the handle, but Amelia wouldn’t let go. “It’s the plague?” she asked.
“With one of them, maybe the other,” he replied.
Amelia took a deep breath and then looked up at him. “I love you, Joseph Conway.”
He smiled back, his eyes starting to grow hot with tears. “I love you too, Amelia.”
She released the bucket, and he carried it upstairs. After pouring it into the tub, he looked at the girl. “Can you bathe her, or should I send help?”
“I…” her voice trailed off and she looked down. “Could you send help, please.”
Joseph nodded and walked from the room, wondering who on earth he could send. He looked into the other room, but Sabina was busy with the little boy. Joseph came to the top of the stairs and called down. Amelia came in answer.
“I don’t know what to do,” Joseph said. “The girl needs help and––”
“I’m coming,” Amelia replied.
He had known she would, but still it terrified him to think of what might happen. He stood unmoving at the top of the stairs, and she paused and looked up into his eyes. “May I please help her, Joseph?” she asked quietly.
Joseph drew in a shuddering breath. “I’m so afraid for you,” he whispered.
“I’m scared too; for both of us. But Joseph, this is what Christ would do, isn’t it?”
Joseph nodded and stepped back. Amelia paused and stood on tiptoe, gently kissing him on the cheek. Then she hurried down the hall and went into the bedroom.
Joseph crept into the room where Sabina sat with the little boy.
Sabina looked up. “Joseph, help me fill him a bath.”
Joseph nodded and left. He ran downstairs and into the kitchen, careful to touch nothing. There were two of the older girls from the orphanage heating buckets of water and he hurried to them. “I need water.” They nodded and handed off the buckets. He hurried back upstairs and began to fill the tub in the boy’s room. Joseph looked at the child and guessed he must be about nine. His heart broke to see him like this.
Sabina was already stripping the torn, bloodstained, and very dirty clothes off him, speaking softly and comfortingly. Joseph hurried to bring a bucket downstairs, and when he came back, Sabina was already cleaning the boy with the warm soap and water.
Joseph dropped to one knee and helped support the child as Sabina gently wiped the dirt and blood from his face and poured water through his tangled hair. The boy was only barely conscious, and he did not seem to care what was done to him, so long as he could keep a hand on Sabina’s sleeve.
At last, Joseph lifted him out of the tub and Sabina wrapped him up in a warm blanket. Joseph grabbed a bucket and began to empty the tub, dumping the filthy water out the window and into the streets below. When he was finished, Sabina had the boy dry and dressed, lying in the clean bed. Joseph came to her side and looked down at the little boy.
His face was finally clean, and they could now see the paleness and fever flush. His hair, which lay damp upon the pillow, was a raven black. His little hand, now clean, was wrapped in the folds of Sabina’s skirt as she sat on the bed beside him, gently smoothing his hair back from his forehead with her cool hand.
Joseph slipped out of the room and knocked on the girl’s door. Amelia opened it and slipped out into the hall with him.
“How is she?” Joseph asked.
“She’s sick, but she seems to be suffering from a cold rather than the plague. She has a low fever, and her nose is running, but there is no sign of blood, and her sisters says she never threw up.”
Joseph nodded. “Then, please God, she may be alright,” he said with quiet relief.
“I’m going to stay with her. I sent her sister for a bath and something to eat,” Amelia said.
Joseph nodded. “I’m going to go clean my hands and then see if anyone needs help downstairs. Are you alright up here?”
Amelia nodded. “I’ll sit with her for a few minutes. See if Alicia can get some warm broth or something like that.”
Joseph nodded and hurried toward the stairs. He washed up in the basin set out in the main room and came into the kitchen, wiping his clean hands on his shirt.
Joseph looked up and was met by ten pairs of eyes. He paused and blinked, staring at the children in front of him.
They were all clean and were sitting around the table near the big open fire, eating soup from bowls. He could see their faces, the color of their skin, hair and eyes, and the distinctive traits that marked them apart from each other.
How different someone looked when you could see their face!
To his wonder and joy, some of the children were smiling, and the others spoke in low whispers. He could hear laughter in the other room as the orphanage children played games.
Joseph’s eyes swept over the kitchen and came to rest on the young leader. He sat on a bench by the fire, a bowl in one hand and a piece of bread in the other. His back was against the wall, and he watched the room with the eyes of a hawk.
Joseph came to where Alicia worked over the fire and asked if some brother could be sent upstairs. She nodded and hurried to take it herself. Joseph stood watching the leader for a moment. Taking in a slow breath, he came to the boy and sat down on the bench beside him. “How are you doing?”
“Fine,” he replied sharply. Then, just the smallest flicker of a smile touched the corner of his mouth. “It is strange to be clean. A good strange.”
Joseph smiled. “Ask us for anything, and we will do what we can.”
The boy made no response.
Joseph continued. “We are doing our best for the two upstairs. The girl might only have a cold. But the boy—”
“Liam.”
“What?” Joseph asked.
“His name is Liam,” the boy said
Joseph nodded. “Liam then. Well, he’s very sick.”
“I know. I saw the other one die. Liam is acting just like he did before he died. Can… can you save him?”
“I… I don’t think so,” Joseph replied, quietly. “I’m so sorry. I promise we will do all we possibly can for him. This plague has been sweeping over the country. The doctors can’t do anything for it. All we can do is comfort him.”
The boy nodded. “Thank you,” he said softly. “For everything,” he added, nodding to the table.
“Of course,” Joseph replied. He hesitated a moment, and then spoke. “May I… may I ask your name? Mine is Joseph Conway.”
“Beric Darman,” the boy replied. He rose and limped to the table to put his bowl down. He came back and sat beside Joseph again, but his shoulders were stiff/
“Beric, can I…” Joseph paused, unsure of the reaction he was about to get. “May I see your leg?”
“There’s nothing wrong with it,” Beric flashed back.
God help me get through to him. “Beric, there is something wrong with your leg. Your limping— we all know it. All I want to do is help you. Maybe we can make it better, or at least ease the pain,” Joseph replied.
“There is no pain, and nothing wrong with it,” Beric retorted as he swiftly rose. The reflexive tears of pain that flooded his eyes at the sharp movement showed he was clearly lying. He didn’t look at Joseph. Instead, he turned and limped from the room.
“Oh Father, soften his heart. Help him to trust us, help us to know how to help him, and above all, bring him to You,” Joseph whispered under his breath.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
December 20, 2024 at 11:00 am #192452Gotcha.
Love the section! Mainly just a few typos. The orphans are so sweet, and Asher found a girl! 🥰 Poor Beric and Liam, though. 🙁
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
December 20, 2024 at 11:03 am #192454Asher found a girl! 🥰
I know!! I’m so happy!
Eric is kinda wicked, and Noah and Darrien enjoy it way to much. lolololol
Poor Beric and Liam, though. 🙁
Yeah, I know.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
December 20, 2024 at 11:13 am #192456That scene was so funny, lol.
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
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