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yeah, I can close off the week gap. I might say “a day or two” or something like that. Would this be better.
I think you meant to say someone else’s voice.
Ah, yes, I do. thanks.
Poor Joseph. I would be a little curious to know what it was like for him when he lost his own father. Does he ever see his face in the nightmares as well?
Oh I’m sure he does….. and we’ll get to that if he ever starts talking.
However, the difference is, Joseph didn’t watch his father die, and the way Aaron died was absolutely awful. It was this horrible example thing that was very public and very brutal, and was completely in cold blood.
killing someone in battle and slitting the throat of a guy who’s hands are tied is a very different thing.
So, yeah. The Aaron thing is going to be very foremost in his mind. And, if you remember from the last book, Joseph was having nightmares about his dad, but Aaron was dealing with his own problems and didn’t know about it until much later on when Sabina told him.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
@ellette-giselle 😭😭😭
WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*
Oh dear.
I’ve never gotten that response! Not even when I killed Aaron!
I think i like it…… *evil grin* lol.
No, but it is good to know that you feel for my boy.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
@ellette-giselle Lol. It was just such a sad chapter 😅
WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*
@ellette-giselle wow that was so sad!!
How old is this poor kid anyway???
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
10?
I think?
Maybe 12.
Come to think of it, he might be twelve for the age gap between him and Asher.
Never mind.
I might make them only a year apart because I actually like that better for his arch.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
@ellette-giselle oof poor guy.
That’s an age where it’s gotten much harder to just kinda brush it off, but at the same time you still don’t have the capability of fully understanding it yet.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
100%
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
@hybridlore @keilah-h @linus-smallprint
Alrighty people! Have fun with this very long section! I hope you enjoy it.
Also, Linus, I am starting to have some high hopes for this book, despite what I said about it not being my favorite. I think i might enjoy it a lot. Just let me know if it’s starting to feel like a LTBL repeat. (If you would be so kind)
The next morning, Joseph woke late. For a little while he just lay staring at the roof, wondering why he was so tired, and why his pillow was wet. Slowly, memory came back to him. He sat up, pushing his sweaty hair back from his forehead. Climbing out of bed, he moved unsteadily toward the door. Joseph leaned against it for a few moments, letting the smooth wood of the door cool his flushed face. At last, he opened the door and crept downstairs.
When he reached the kitchen, Joseph found Sabina sitting at the table with a leather satchel in her lap. She was staring down at it, her finger’s tracing the buckle that held the strap closed. There were tears in her eyes, and her face was slightly pale. Joseph stepped into the room, and Sabina must have felt someone there for she looked up quickly. “Joseph, good morning!” she exclaimed cheerfully. She quickly brushed away the tears and stood up, slipping the satchel onto one of the high shelves. “Come sit down and have some breakfast. You must be hungry.”
Joseph quietly slipped into his seat and watched Sabina with large dark eyes. Sabina dished him up a bowl of porridge and set it on the table. “Eat up,” she said, ruffling his hair.
Joseph obeyed silently.
Sabina sat down at the table and leaned her chin against her hand, watching him. At last, she spoke. “Asher and Eric are outside playing. Do you want to go with them?”
Joseph shook his head.
Sabina was silent for a moment. “Darrien already left for work. Noah is almost strong enough to start looking for another job. He’s upstairs right now, working on making some new copies of the Bible.”
Joseph took another bite, watching her from the corner of his eye.
Sabina let out a slow breath and stood up. Joseph heard her leave the room and stared down at his bowl, pushing his food around slowly. He was hungry, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to eat. Every time he swallowed, he thought he was going to choke.
A few minutes later, Noah came into the room. He gave Joseph a bright smile. “Good morning, my little man.”
Joseph let go of his spoon, and it clattered against the bowl.
Aaron had been the first to call him that.
Aaron was gone.
Noah came around and rested a hand on Joseph’s shoulder. “Will you come take a walk with me?”
Joseph shook his head.
Noah seemed to consider something. Then, he gave a nod. “Joseph, I’m going out, and I would like you to come with me.” His tone left no room for argument.
Joseph looked down, tucking his feet under the chair.
“Do you want to finish your breakfast?” Noah asked.
Joseph shook his head.
“Alright then, up you get.” Noah took his hand and pulled him to his feet. “Let’s go get your boots on.”
A few minutes later, the two of them were walking through the narrow streets. Water still trickled past or collected in pools, and the smell was rank. With no way to drain, the streets would soon turn into a cobble stoned swamp. Joseph held Noah’s hand as they walked, but he kept his head down. He felt miserable and all he wanted to do was go home and hide somewhere by himself.
Something down a side street caught Joseph’s eye, and he glanced over. Two soldiers were walking in the opposite direction, talking to one another in a friendly tone. Joseph froze, pulling Noah up short. The boy’s eyes locked on the soldiers’ backs, and his hand tightened around Noah’s. Joseph tried to swallow but couldn’t. he started shaking, and his breath quickened. The soldiers turned onto another street and were lost from sight, but still Joseph didn’t move. Noah’s hand rested on his shoulder, and Joseph started in fright. “Joseph, it’s alright,” Noah said, quietly.
Joseph looked at him with a terror-stricken expression on his face. Noah squeezed his shoulder. “Joseph, you’re alright. No one is going to hurt you.” He put his arms around Joseph’s shoulders and carefully pulled the boy forward. Joseph stumbled, and reluctantly let his feet take him along with Noah.
For a time they walked, and Joseph became lost in a whirlwind of thoughts. He was starting to feel confused and trapped. He wanted to get away, to breath, to run. The buildings on either side of the streets seemed to be closing in on him. They were going to crush him!
“Here we are.”
Noah’s voice jerked Joseph back into reality, and he looked about him. They were in a section of the city that had taken some of the worst damage during the last stand for Ardenta. Several buildings had crumbled and fallen, and it seemed that the Empire had other things to worry about besides fixing this place. Noah was standing under a tall building with a flight of stairs winding up to the roof. Taking Joseph’s hand, he began to climb up.
At last, they reached the top. Noah stepped out onto the roof and guided Joseph after him. Joseph looked up and sucked in a sharp breath. They were near the wall, and if he stood on tiptoe, he could just see a glimpse of green fields. “It’s spring!” he gasped.
Noah nodded. “Yes, it is spring.”
Joseph strained higher, and Noah caught him about the waist, lifting the boy onto his shoulder. Joseph held onto Noah and leaned forward, drinking in every inch of the outside world that he could see.
They stood like that for thirty minutes or more. At last, Noah lowered Joseph down. “I’m sorry, I can’t hold you like that any longer.”
Joseph looked up, and Noah saw there was a slight smile touching the corner of the boy’s mouth. “Thank you, Noah.”
Noah nodded. “You’re welcome.” He sat down on the roof and rubbed his shoulder. Joseph sat down next to him, and for a time the two were silent. At last, Joseph looked up. “Noah, can we come here again sometime?”
“Of course,” Noah replied.
Joseph wrapped his arms about his updrawn knees. “Do you think…” he trailed off.
“Do I think what?” Noah asked, gently.
“Do you think Aaron can see the fields?”
Noah was quiet for a moment. Then, he nodded. “Yes. Yes, I do. And if he can’t see them, it’s because he’s seeing something so much better.”
Joseph sniffed, and a tear trickled down his cheek. Another rolled to the end of his nose, and he swiped it away with the back of his sleeve. “I miss him.”
“So do I,” Noah whispered, huskily.
Joseph sucked in a breath. “It won’t go away. I keep seeing it over and over.”
Noah swallowed hard. “I should have covered your eyes, Joseph. In the moment I didn’t even think of it. I’m so sorry for letting you see that. I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you.”
Joseph sucked in another breath, and a wail tore from him. He leaned forward and began sobbing brokenly. Noah reached out and pulled Joseph into his arms. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered again. “I’m so, so sorry.”
Joseph pressed his face against Noah’s shoulder and wept. “I didn’t get to see him one last time,” he forced out through his tears. “I wanted to see him again!”
“I know Joseph, I know,” Noah whispered. ‘
“Aaron never hurt anyone!” Joseph yelled. “He was so kind! Why did they kill him?”
“Because they hate God,” Noah replied. “They hate God enough that they will kill anyone who claims to follow Him, no matter who they are. They told Aaron that if he would obey their gods, they would let him go. They even promised to give him a position of honor among them. But Aaron wouldn’t. he was willing to give his life rather than turn his back on God. He would die before he ever served another.”
“But how c-can they be s-so c-cruel?” Joseph gasped between sobs.
“Because of sin, Joseph. They are lost in this fallen world, and they follow the ways of the devil. Satan seeks to hurt, kill, and destroy. He wants to tear down anything God has built up, and they are his servants. They obey his commands, and their cruelty is only a reflection of his.”
Joseph cried for several minutes, and Noah held him, gently rubbing his back. At last, Joseph’s tears slowed, though his body still shook from the force of his sobs. “Did he win?” Joseph choked out.
“Did who win?” Noah asked.
“Satan.”
“No, Joseph. No, he didn’t.”
Joseph pulled back and looked at Noah. “But he killed Aaron!”
Noah cupped Joseph’s face in his hands. “Listen, Joseph. Aaron’s death was one of Christ’s greatest victories in his life. If Aaron had obeyed the men of the Empire and turned away from God, then Satan would have won. Even though Aaron still lived, he would be a tool for the devil to wield. But Aaron wouldn’t turn, and so the only thing Satan could do was kill him. He was too great a threat to let live. And God, who has the power to stop Satan’s every move, let him do it.”
“But why?” Joseph asked.
“Because, Joseph, Aaron had fought his battle. His journey was over, and God was ready for him to come home. In that moment out there, Satan probably thought he had won. But he didn’t. he lost, Joseph. He lost completely. Aaron is alive in Christ, and he is safe. Death was a victory, and in that moment, Christ triumphed over all. As He always will. Aaron isn’t dead. Death was only a shadow, a type of doorway, that he had to walk through, and now his on the other side. He is home and he is with Christ. The death of one of God’s soldiers is a beautiful thing. It’s sad for those left behind, but it is beautiful. We know that on the other side of that shadow, there is life.” Noah paused and looked beyond Joseph. “Do you see the sky?”
Joseph nodded.
“When night comes, everything is dark, isn’t it?”
Joseph nodded again.
“But what comes after the night?”
“Day,” Joseph answered.
“It’s kind of like that,” Noah explained. In the evening, the sun goes down, and when it ‘dies’ its death is beautiful. Then comes the night, but at the end of that, there is a new dawn— a sunrise with more glorious light and colors then there were in the sunset.”
Joseph sat quietly; his eyes fixed on the sky. At last, he turned and looked at Noah. “I think I understand.”
Noah smiled sadly. “I’m afraid I’m not very good at explaining this sometimes. And it’s even harder when I don’t fully understand them.”
Joseph nodded slowly. “Noah?”
“What?”
“Why does God let there be such evil people?”
Noah sighed. “That is a hard question, Joseph, and I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to explain this to you.” He was silent for a time, carefully going over possible ways of explanation. Joseph watched his face intently, waiting for an answer. At last, Noah looked up. “Joseph, in the beginning, when God created the first man and woman, he gave them the gift of free will— the ability to make decisions on their own. You see, God doesn’t want a bunch of puppets to move about on a stage. He wanted people who loved and obey Him of their own free will. So, when the serpent came to Eve in the garden, she had the free will to listen to him and disobey God. God didn’t want her to disobey, but He also wanted to give us free will. With that gift came the power to disobey, and Eve did.”
“Did God know she was going to disobey?” Joseph asked.
“Yes, He did,” Noah replied.
“Then why did he let her have free will?”
Noah opened his mouth, and then paused. He let out a slow breath and shook his head. “Joseph, I’m afraid I don’t have answers for all your questions. However, one thing I do know, God is good, He is all powerful, and He knows all. When he gave Adam and Eve free will, He knew they would sin, but He still gave it to them. He loved them, and He did what was best for them, even though it’s sometimes hard to understand that.”
Joseph thought about that for a moment. “So, free will is why evil people can be in the world?”
Noah nodded. “Yes. It is because of free will that we can chose to sin and obey Satan rather than God. I don’t think people often think of it like that, but it’s true. When you disobey God, you obey the Devil. There is no in between.”
“So, if people choose to obey Satan and be evil, then can they choose to be good?” Joseph asked.
“Well, kind of,” Noah began, slowly. “Even if we do good things, it is all sinful if we have not given our lives to God. You can’t do good things and not be one of God’s followers. Those two must go together. The Bible says, ‘We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like filthy rags. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.’ And it also says, ‘For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin.’ We can’t do anything good if we are not following Christ.”
“So, we have to decide to follow God?” Joseph asked.
“Not entirely,” Noah replied. “God must call us first before we can ever be saved. He must raise our dead hearts to life before we can repent. Ephesians says, ‘And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—’ So, if we were dead, we can’t choose to follow God, because dead people can’t choose anything. But the Bible says, ‘“Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”’ Because God loved us, He woke us and raised us from death to life. It was only then that we could see our sin and understand our need for salvation.”
“But then why doesn’t God do that to everyone?” Joseph asked. “Why only some people? It doesn’t seem right of Him to only wake up some of us.”
“Joseph, when Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, sin entered the world. All of us turned from God and we rebelled against our king. People who turn against their king and fight against him normally end up dead. They either die fighting against him, or when the king wins, they are all killed because they committed treason. You can’t commit treason and expect to get away with it. We were all supposed to die for our treason, but because God is rich in love and mercy, he chose to come provide a way of escape for us. When Jesus died, He paid for all the sins, but not all the rebels want to come back to God. Many of them would much rather be rebels. For God to choose to wake up even one of us is something that we never deserved. Salvation is a gift, and we should never, ever find ourselves judging God because He decided to give that gift to one person over another.”
Joseph nodded slowly, looking at the sky once more.
Noah leaned forward and laid a hand on Joseph’s shoulder. “From the very beginning of time, God chose you, Joseph. He knew everything that would happen to everyone and everything. He put Aaron in the place he needed to be so that God could use his words to wake you up. He chose you, and He made sure that when the time was right, you heard His voice.”
Joseph looked up at Noah, his brown eyes filled with a solemn look that seemed older than he was.
Noah squeezed his shoulder. “No matter what happens, you are God’s child, and He will be with you.” He opened his arms and Joseph hugged him. Noah cupped his hand over the back of Joseph’s head, and the boy snuggled closer. Joseph closed his eyes, drawing comfort from Noah’s embrace. However, one thing still plagued him. Joseph’s fingers touched the deep scars on Noah’s bear arms, and a chill ran through him. “Noah,” he whispered, his voice shaking slightly.
“Hmm?”
“I’m scared.”
“Why are you scared?” Noah asked, gently.
“I… I’m afraid that the Empire might capture me too,” Joseph managed, his voice hardly above a whisper.
“Oh Joseph, you’re just a child. The Empire wouldn’t—” He broke off sharply and his arms tightened about Joseph, nearly crushing the breath from the boy’s lungs. After a long moment, Noah found his voice. “Why are you afraid of being captured?”
“Because I’m scared of the Empire,” Joseph replied.
“Are…” Noah swallowed hard. “Are you afraid die?”
Joseph hesitated a moment before he slowly shook his head.
“Are you afraid they’ll hurt you?”
Joseph nodded.“Joseph, I… I want to tell you that you would never be captured… but I can’t. to say that would be a lie, because I don’t know what might happen. But if it does, I know for a fact that God will be with you.”
“But Noah, what if they do what they did to you? Or… or something worse? I’d be too scared, Noah. And I don’t want to be alone like Aaron was, all by myself with them,” Joseph’s voice caught, and he choked down a sob.
“Joseph, Aaron was not alone. God was with Him, and he gave Him strength.”
“But Aaron wasn’t scared,” Joseph whispered.
“Yes, he was,” Noah replied. “He was terrified, Joseph.”
Joseph pulled back and looked at Noah. “He looked at me, Noah, and he wasn’t afraid.”
“The strength you saw in Aaron’s eyes was God’s strength,” Noah said. “The only possible way Aaron was able to stay true to the end was because God gave him the strength to do so. He will do the same for you. He did it for me. I was scared when they told me to help them build the temple, but God gave me the strength I needed. It didn’t make the pain any less, and it didn’t mean that I wasn’t scared, but I did trust Him. He gave me the faith to believe that whatever happened, He would be with me, and he was. He will be with you, Joseph. He’s with you right now.”
Joseph stared at Noah for a long moment. Then he put his head back on the young man’s shoulders and wrapped his arms around his neck.
Noah’s hand began to rub comforting circles against Joseph’s back, and the boy closed his eyes, warn out from his crying and the many sleepless nights he had endured. But, as Joseph’s eyes drifted closed, one thought continued to whisper in his mind. I’m not as strong as Noah, and I’m not brave like Aaron.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Awww! Really sweet scene. So… could I get some more backstory here? 😅 Aaron died because he was a Christian and didn’t give into the government, but the reason everyone else is still alive is because the gov doesn’t know they’re believers? And if Noah was tortured once for his faith, how did he escape?
I know this kind of thing can come across as “preaching” and sometimes turn people off if it’s really long and interferes with the story. You might want to consider trimming it down, but if you can’t, that’s fine. Just try to think about what will move the character growth forward and work for this story/target audience specifically.
WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*
Lol, I was wondering when you would start wanting the backstory.
First I’ll reply to yoyr note on the scene.
You might want to consider trimming it down, but if you can’t, that’s fine. Just try to think about what will move the character growth forward and work for this story/target audience specifically.
So, it wasn’t supposed to be this long, But Joseph just kept chattering and he just kinda needed to get these questions answered. Once he let go and started talking, he wasn’t in a place to stop. Noah, of course, needed to answer the questions, which led to more questions. Plus, my belief in God’s divine election of those who believe in Him needed to be established, (through my characters) early on. Otherwise some of the later scenes might be hard to understand.
So, yeah. I’ll keep this in mind though, and if I need to I may cut it a little. Thank you for pointing it out.
So, what did you as the reader think?
Did you find the section boring, or were you also interested in the answers Noah would give to Joseph’s questions?
(i promise this is one of the only long conversations in this book.)
Okay, now for the backstory.
Here is a map of the country in the last book.
So, Aaron was the MC of the last book, and he was Vendailian. He came from Vendailia as a missionary to Ardenta. Now, the Ardentan people have always been closed off to strangers, and it doesn’t help that they share three of their borders with the Empire, (the superpower of the known world) So, Aaron kinda has a rough time of it, but he goes in around the time the Empire decides to take over Ardenta and make it part of their country so that they share a border with Vendailia, (one of the gateway countries into the rest of the known world) So, of course the Ardentans fight back, and Aaron gets all swept up in the war. Then the Empire wins and now Aaron is trapped in Ardenta. He has started small church, and for a little while they don’t face opposition because the Empire is busy building a wall to secure the border and running down any soldiers who might have escaped from the last battle. However, once everything gets settled, the Empire starts causing trouble, because they are a country that has a Roman type culture, (including all the gods) and they don’t like what Aaron is doing. Aaron, Noah, Sabina, and Alicia start an orphanage for war orphans, and Joseph is the first. They have about thirty of them at one pointy, but most of them get adopted, and now all that are left are Joseph, Eric, and Asher. Noah ends up on a forced labor crew who are going to build a temple, and of course Noah says, “Nope, not doing it” (in much more eloquent language) and so the overseers beat him within an inch of his life as a lesson to anyone else who might rebel against him. They left him for dead, but Aaron and Darrien found him and they, along with Sabina, were able nurse him back to health. That same day a proclamation goes out that no religious meetings can be held without the presence of one of the priests. Well the church keeps meeting. Then Aaron and Sabina fall in love and get engaged. (hate that term “fall in love” but it happens to be a good one for recaps) They plan to adopt Joseph as their own son, since they have both become a sort of mother and father figure to him. Then, two days before the wedding, Aaron his holding a church meeting and he gets arrested because they figure out he’s not Ardentan but Vendailian. (All Ardentans are very tall and slender with dark hair and eyes, and they tan pretty dark. Aaron has blue eyes and blond hair and he’s shorter then most of them. About the height of an average Ardentan Woman. So, yeah. Oh, and the guys from the Empire look like Aryan Germans, so Aaron actually looks a lot like them)Anyways, they try to convince Aaron to join them, because obviously he’s a leader among the people. Aaron says no. They go back and forth for two days, and then Aaron is killed. Aaron’s guard tracks down Sabina and Noah, asked what on earth Aaron believed that made him willing to give up is life. and that’s where book one ends.
So, feeling caught up?
Feel free to ask more questions.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
@hybridlore @keilah-h @linus-smallprint
For anyone interested, here is the current map.This is what everything looks like in this book.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Totally gotcha. Sometimes it’s just good to get all your thoughts on a scene down, even if they don’t all end up in the final draft.
Sure. Hopefully you got what I meant, since this is kind of a controversial topic in Christian writing circles. In the end, it’s really up to the author who knows what’s best for their story how subtle/obvious they want to be with Christian messages.
As for me personally, I felt that it was a little long for my taste. Some questions in particular kind of felt that you were just covering the entire message of salvation instead of what just applied to the story in that moment (examples, some of the questions about free will and choosing to follow God.) I understand that they stemmed from Joseph asking why God allows evil people in the world, which feels very on-topic with the events in the story, at least in my opinion.
I know you said you needed to establish some of your beliefs early on in order for the readers to understand later events. Wouldn’t they be able to assume what you believe in at that point without you stating it outright, or is it too confusing?
Okay, all that backstory makes sense. Thanks! Are you still posting bits of the first book, or have you taken a break from writing it? Is it finished?
WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*
@ellette-giselle whoa I love that map!!
also, I agree with @hybridlore about how the section’s a little long. I realize that the answers to Joseph’s questions have to be properly explained–after all, I would say corrupting God’s message is far worse then never including it in the first place–but I, like her (hybridlore you are a girl right?? LOL), also wonder if you could condense it down a little.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
Yeah. I’ll see what @linus-smallprint and @keilah-h say, and from there I’ll make a decision once I have everyone’s opinion.
I think I could end up trimming things up a little if I need to.
Well, I know the belief in Divine Election is not held by everyone. Some people believe that anyone who chooses to be saved can be saved, rather then God calling them first. (I even have a few friends who believe this way) So, that is really going to change how Evangelical work would go. If you believe that you have the power to convince people to decide to be saved, then you will go about thinks differently then if you believe you are a tool that God will use to bring awaken people, but you yourself can’t convince anyone unless it’s God’s will, and then it’s less of a convincing and more of a call.
Does that make any sense…..?
I’m also pretty blatant with gospel message in my stories, so, yeah, that’s something you may have to get used to. Especially since this is a missionary story. lol.
Let There Be Light is finished on here. It’s now in the hands of my editor and I am looking at a spring release date. Looking forward to that, since this will be the first series I’ve gotten published. It’ll be interesting to do that instead of just stand alones. I can put the link for LTBL WIP on here if you want to read through the whole thing.
So, the whole saga has gone through several drafts, but this is the first time it’s faced critique from other authors.
Btw, (and you don’t have to answer this) I was wondering how old you are? I’m interested in the age range I have reading this right now.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
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