Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › The Veil of Night– second book in The Flames of Hope Saga
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November 20, 2024 at 10:54 am #190237
Probably. 🤔
Ehh, fine, you can take the rest of them. Just don’t do anything to Sabina or Joseph or Julian. 🤪
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
November 20, 2024 at 10:59 am #190238You can’t just steal all of them. Otherwise I won’t post anything else. Pic who you want and let the others go.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 20, 2024 at 1:10 pm #190243Yup. Sure did. My dad was stationed in Italy, and there you travel by REAL trains. With several carriages and an engine. We used to spend our vacations in Edelweiss Germany up in the alps. I’ve also been to Austria, Rome, Greece, and Switzerland. I wish I could do it again now that I’m older and can appreciate it. Although, living there is not fun.
Cool!
November 20, 2024 at 1:16 pm #190246Somebody help me!!!!!!! I’m going insane!!!!!!
Okay, not really, but I am stuck and I’m having one of those uninspiring days when words are just black spots on a white screen.
If that makes sense.
Ugh.
Okay, so I am going to do something very monumental in Joseph’s life………… except I’m stuck.
I don’t want him in a situation where he may or may not be a teenage elder in a church. Cause I don’t like that picture. Missionary I’ll let slide with the time period. Elder……… nope.
So, (if) Joseph becomes and elder, i want him in his twenties. Problem is, this event that I’m going to have happen while he’s 17, actually kick starts some things that I would want to happen very soon after, but with Joseph being 20+.
So, my question is, do I scrap the age at the beginning of the last section and kick him up to 19 or so, or do I have some filler stuff. And if I do some filler stuff, what should I do? I feel like I’m dragging this set up for the story and I want to actually get into the real thing.
Does this make any sense?
(I’ll be surprised if it does)
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 20, 2024 at 1:20 pm #190248Why does he have to become an elder? I think (if I’m understanding this right) if the important things are happening while he is seventeen, that’s where you want to be. Maybe he can be a part of the inner core group of the church without being an elder, sort of getting mentored by everyone else.
However, you’re right. If all the stuff happening while he’s seventeen is just more set-up, then maybe you SHOULD skip it. That sort of backstory can be explained in a couple chapters once you get to the main part.
Did that help at all? If you can give more details, that would be easier.
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
November 20, 2024 at 1:25 pm #190249He’s going to try to answer that call for Church leaders that came from the town. The monumental things are how on earth he would even have a chance of getting out of the Capital with the lockdown. The minute he can get out, Joseph and whoever else would be off. So, to have the door open while he’s seventeen would be silly if he doesn’t make a move until he’s in his twenties.
Does that make sense?
I’m leaning toward knocking up the age.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 20, 2024 at 1:39 pm #190250I think so. Are you sure he couldn’t be a church leader at seventeenish, if he’s one of the only believers in that town?
If that’s what you’re leaning towards, then go for it. Maybe pray about it and think a little longer if it’s a hugeee chance, though.
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
November 20, 2024 at 1:40 pm #190251Pic who you want and let the others go.
Joseph. Julian. Sabina.
Adrian… hehe. 🤪
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by hybridlore.
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
November 20, 2024 at 1:43 pm #190253Idk,
what do you think, @linus-smallprint ?
I’m leaning toward making him older.
I mean, if he’s in the position of spiritual leader, he needs to be mature.
Hybridlore, pick three characters and put them in your signature, and give the rest back. Understand me? (Adrian doesn’t count because he’s dead. so there.)
lololol
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 20, 2024 at 2:06 pm #190254Fine. *pouts*
😂😂
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
November 20, 2024 at 4:17 pm #190255A teenage elder does seem wrong. Looking at the qualifications for an Elder in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:6-9, they don’t explicitly state any age, and I can see you’ve been setting up Joseph to meet the requirements listed here, but they do seem to require someone who is mature. I don’t think it would be right to trust a teenager with these responsibilities, even one who is mature for his age. I’m looking specifically at the verses stating that the man being considered for an Elder must have children obedient to him (1 Timothy 3:4) and the children must be faithful (Titus 1:6). The 1 Timothy verse especially seems to be looking for someone who is already a good leader elsewhere.
(I’m trying to decern if the verses are saying that the Elder must be a husband and father, or if they are saying that if he is married, he should be married to only one wife and if he is a father, he must manage his household well. I know Paul was not married and did not have children, but he was an apostle and missionary. I don’t know if he ever was an elder.)
Anyway, would it hurt much to make Joseph older?
November 21, 2024 at 7:40 am #190280See, these are the same lines I’m thinking along. I think I’m going to just make him older. The only thing that would hurt would be giving Y’all whiplash after I said he was sixteen. lol.
As for the children and wife thing, I know that Timothy wasn’t married at the time, and he was an elder. (Timothy is kind of my Joseph stencil.) Anyways.
So yeah, now Joseph is officially nineteen. I’ll have to let everyone know.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 21, 2024 at 10:04 am #190287(I’m trying to decern if the verses are saying that the Elder must be a husband and father, or if they are saying that if he is married, he should be married to only one wife and if he is a father, he must manage his household well. I know Paul was not married and did not have children, but he was an apostle and missionary. I don’t know if he ever was an elder.)
I’m going to assume that it means the second option, since if the first were true, that would logically follow to mean an elder whose wife had died would have to be kicked out of his position if he married another, or what about an elder who is married but he and his wife can’t have children for some reason (and haven’t adopted any yet)?
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
November 21, 2024 at 10:10 am #190288also yeah, we don’t know anything about Timothy’s home life at the time of the letter, so he might’ve been single (especially considering Paul doesn’t say something like “oh say hi to your family for me” in either letter)
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
November 21, 2024 at 11:21 am #190302So yeah, now Joseph is officially nineteen. I’ll have to let everyone know.
Ooph. That sudden rapid aging has to come with a terribly painful growth spurt.
As for the children and wife thing, I know that Timothy wasn’t married at the time, and he was an elder. (Timothy is kind of my Joseph stencil.) Anyways.
Ah yes, of course, good point. It occurs to me that Timothy was also young (1 Timothy 4:12).
I’m going to assume that it means the second option, since if the first were true, that would logically follow to mean an elder whose wife had died would have to be kicked out of his position if he married another, or what about an elder who is married but he and his wife can’t have children for some reason (and haven’t adopted any yet)?
Another good point.
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