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@ellette-giselle Sarcasm does not really work over messaging like this. Especially when people don’t know each other in real life. But probably better to check just in case we end up with another misunderstanding like the other day. 😜
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
Hey I have NO IDEA what happened with that. I feel like he kinda flipped.
idk. I’ll not go into it again on here.I guessed it was sarcasm, I was just making sure. lol. Emojis tend to help. lol.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Probably best not to, yeah. 😅 I’ll be sure to add some emojis next time. 🤪😂
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
lol.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
I had no idea what that picture was from. i just saw the meme the other day and thought of it. It was perfect.
Ah, okay. It’s from a show that people had been recommending to me for a while, and I have finally had a chance to start watching it. The meme fits with the personality of the older character in it well.
Let’s just say, a long time ago, the last fight I had with my brother ended when mom duct taped our wrists together.
Duck tape? That must have been somewhat painful.
Are you organizing all the character scenes? I don’t know how you can weed through the LTBL forum and find them!
When I reread your story, I weeded through the form and threw it into a word document so I would have access to it offline and could read it when I was taking the train to school or on a break at work. I still had the document, so I searched it for the word ‘Lieutenant’. That really speeds up things.
Regrets. Pain. Rejection. Yeah……. you’ve just about got it. He wants to be an honorable soldier. But……. well I’ll stop going on unless you want me to. He’s just someone who hold honor and valor very highly.
Okay.
Secotion feedback:
At sixteen, Joseph had been diving deeper into the Word of God then he ever had before. Many things had happened in the past six years, and they were things that shook the world as he knew it almost every day.
“I call it time travel!” – Rex Dangervest
Was not expecting this time skip.
Joseph stared at the words for a long time. At last, he closed the Bible and slowly sat on the chair at his desk “Father, what would you have me do? Are You telling me to go to these people? How? You know very well that there is no way I could get out of the city alive, let alone into their town. I don’t understand! This seems impossible.” Joseph sighed and absently tapped his finger against the Bible. “I know You can do all things, so if You want me to go, then I know You will make a way. Only show me what to do.”
Was the epilogue of book one at some point during book 2, or am I going to have to wait to find out? I thought books 2-4 were all going to take place before that epilogue.
Also, I’m wondering if Leon and/or Julian are POV characters for later books.
Listened to the song. I hadn’t heard of this before. The song does fit well.
Yes, it is a time jump!!!! If it’s too jolting, I may split the sections into parts. I’ll see what Linus says.
You could do different parts. Right now, the first part kind of feels like a separate story to what you are getting into now, but you may end up tying it together later on more with your overarching theme for this book and Joseph’s arc.
Going back to your first book, if you wanted to have this part one/part two thing, that could easily be inserted in after the war and the immediate aftermath of it.
I would say this is up to you. We will have to see what all happens in this next section of your book.
Uh, no, he’s not. Aaron was a missionary. Joseph is looking to become an elder. It’s two different things. He wants to be Aaron, but he can’t. That’s not what he’s been called to do.
This is one thing in Josephs’s character that will separate him from Aaron. Aaron’s problem was that he was putting too much trust in himself. Joseph’s problem is that he is putting too much trust in Aaron. I think if you make this clear to the reader (after some time, of course, Joseph won’t realize this is his problem), the two characters will not feel the same. You mentioned in the last section that Joseph always checks what he learned in the Bible. Is it possible he has not been doing this too much from what he remembers of Aaron?
Duck tape? That must have been somewhat painful.
My kids have no idea what’s coming to them. lololololol.
When I reread your story, I weeded through the form and threw it into a word document so I would have access to it offline and could read it when I was taking the train to school or on a break at work. I still had the document, so I searched it for the word ‘Lieutenant’. That really speeds up things.
*gasp*!!!! You stole my book!!!!!!!! How dare you!!!
Just joking. I’ve emailed the PDF to several people I trust for feedback.
You’re good.
Oh my goodness! Did you just say “taking the train to school”!!!! THAT IS AWESOME!!! I used to take trains a lot when I lived in Europe, but I guess it still feels super romantic to me. lol. To you it’s probably super mundane. lol.
Was the epilogue of book one at some point during book 2, or am I going to have to wait to find out? I thought books 2-4 were all going to take place before that epilogue.
Oh no, books 2-4 do not take place before then. I mean, Joseph doesn’t last THAT long. (whoops. cat’s out of the bag and running wild. hehehehe)
No, the epilogue from LTBL hits about midway through TVON. (aw! the acronym is almost TRON. That would have been something. lol)
Also, I’m wondering if Leon and/or Julian are POV characters for later books.
Hmmm………………..
Listened to the song. I hadn’t heard of this before. The song does fit well.
Yeah, I love their musicals. If you’re interested, David and Daniel are the best, though Esther is pretty good too!
You could do different parts. Right now, the first part kind of feels like a separate story to what you are getting into now, but you may end up tying it together later on more with your overarching theme for this book and Joseph’s arc.
So, I planned to pick up directly with older Joseph to match the epilogue, but people kept sending me feedback saying if I ever did a second, they wanted to see the affect of Aaron’s death directly after, and also wanted to see Joseph as a child in that time. So yeah, I thought I’d just gloss over that time in a few pages, but it took a lot longer then I thought when I realized just how much of his story needed to be told so that his arc would be complete. I knew the whole story since he was born (I know his parents story. lol. I do too much background. lol) But yeah, I just realized a lot of that would be necessary. Plus, something very…… life changing happens when Joseph is seventeen, and this event really sets a lot of the stage, which is why we stopped off here.
So Joseph’s childhood is almost like a prologue to the real story. Soo yeah, I might do part one and part two.
Going back to your first book, if you wanted to have this part one/part two thing, that could easily be inserted in after the war and the immediate aftermath of it.
Ooo! I like that! the second part could be something like “The Fall of Ardenta” or something like that. I think I’ll do that.
But yeah, lets wait for the end of this book, and then we can circle back and you can let me know what you think about splitting this book into part one and part two. (Like still within this book, not making more books.)
This is one thing in Josephs’s character that will separate him from Aaron. Aaron’s problem was that he was putting too much trust in himself. Joseph’s problem is that he is putting too much trust in Aaron.
*gasps in relief*
hehe, I knew that. Told you @hybridlore
lololol.
Phew.
Okay. good. That was what I was aiming for, I was just worried it wasn’t clear enough.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Lol, I stand corrected. 🤣
But, umm…
then. I mean, Joseph doesn’t last THAT long. (whoops. cat’s out of the bag and running wild. hehehehe)
What does this mean exactly?? 🤨
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
No, the epilogue from LTBL hits about midway through TVON. (aw! the acronym is almost TRON. That would have been something. lol)
That would have been the strangest acronym for a missionary story ever lol
I mean, Joseph doesn’t last THAT long. (whoops. cat’s out of the bag and running wild. hehehehe)
I would be fine with this, except you keep murdering your main characters before they reach 25 and it’s starting to get old now. Lol.
i’m kidding, you can do what you want with your story. But yeah, prepare to get a lot of “I liked the story, but couldn’t read past such-and-such book because every time I got interested in a character he got killed at the end” reviews. I personally would keep reading it (your story is amazing, 5 main deaths in a book and a half or not), but I can’t speak for everyone.
all I’m saying is, if you’re gonna kill Joseph, make it completely different from Aaron’s and Adrian’s deaths. Have the Empire chuck him off a cliff or something, I don’t know. (Lol don’t do that, that’s horrible.) And make him last a few years more at least.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
*gasp*!!!! You stole my book!!!!!!!! How dare you!!!
I dare. And I’ll do it to this one too! Ha ha!!! (Also, you are at 8 exclamation marks now. I think I have good grounds to be concerned.)
Oh my goodness! Did you just say “taking the train to school”!!!! THAT IS AWESOME!!! I used to take trains a lot when I lived in Europe, but I guess it still feels super romantic to me. lol. To you it’s probably super mundane. lol.
Awesome? Romantic? Nope, not at all. This is more of a city bus on tracks. These are LRTs. It’s dirty and can be overcrowded in the mornings. (I had no room to move on one train today and had to exit at the wrong station so others could get off.) We also have a homeless problem in our city, so it’s not safe either. I did have a nice conversation with some lady I had not met before today about her bird feeder, but that has never happened before. Usually, I’m on alert and just want to get to my destination ASAP.
You lived in Europe?
Oh no, books 2-4 do not take place before then. I mean, Joseph doesn’t last THAT long. (whoops. cat’s out of the bag and running wild. hehehehe)
Ah okay. Poor anyone who has Ellette writing his/her story.
So Joseph’s childhood is almost like a prologue to the real story. Soo yeah, I might do part one and part two.
Okay. Something tells me part two will be a lot longer, but that is fine.
Plus, something very…… life changing happens when Joseph is seventeen, and this event really sets a lot of the stage, which is why we stopped off here.
Ooooo… Guess we will find that out soon then.
What does this mean exactly?? 🤨
Wouldn’t you like to know.
That would have been the strangest acronym for a missionary story ever lol
I know, right!
all I’m saying is, if you’re gonna kill Joseph, make it completely different from Aaron’s and Adrian’s deaths. Have the Empire chuck him off a cliff or something, I don’t know.
Oh that is a GREAT idea!!!! Ooo, I love that idea so much!! I am adding that to the list of ways to kill characters. Thank you!! I may do that! I mean, how he dies can totally be changed, right? I like this so much. Thank you!
I dare. And I’ll do it to this one too! Ha ha!!! (Also, you are at 8 exclamation marks now. I think I have good grounds to be concerned.)
but you STOLE the precious!!!!!
I mean seriously, you did steal my book and are threatening to steal the second one too. And I’m not supposed to be worried?
Awesome? Romantic? Nope, not at all. This is more of a city bus on tracks. These are LRTs. It’s dirty and can be overcrowded in the mornings. (I had no room to move on one train today and had to exit at the wrong station so others could get off.) We also have a homeless problem in our city, so it’s not safe either. I did have a nice conversation with some lady I had not met before today about her bird feeder, but that has never happened before. Usually, I’m on alert and just want to get to my destination ASAP.
Oh. So like the trolleys in San Francisco. Those aren’t nearly as cool as trains. lol.
You lived in Europe?
Yup. Sure did. My dad was stationed in Italy, and there you travel by REAL trains. With several carriages and an engine. We used to spend our vacations in Edelweiss Germany up in the alps. I’ve also been to Austria, Rome, Greece, and Switzerland. I wish I could do it again now that I’m older and can appreciate it. Although, living there is not fun.
Ah okay. Poor anyone who has Ellette writing his/her story.
Lololol.
You are actually the first person to ever say that.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
What does this mean exactly?? 🤨
Wouldn’t you like to know.
That would have been the strangest acronym for a missionary story ever lol
I know, right!
all I’m saying is, if you’re gonna kill Joseph, make it completely different from Aaron’s and Adrian’s deaths. Have the Empire chuck him off a cliff or something, I don’t know.
Oh that is a GREAT idea!!!! Ooo, I love that idea so much!! I am adding that to the list of ways to kill characters. Thank you!! I may do that! I mean, how he dies can totally be changed, right? I like this so much. Thank you!
I dare. And I’ll do it to this one too! Ha ha!!! (Also, you are at 8 exclamation marks now. I think I have good grounds to be concerned.)
but you STOLE the precious!!!!!
I mean seriously, you did steal my book and are threatening to steal the second one too. And I’m not supposed to be worried?
Awesome? Romantic? Nope, not at all. This is more of a city bus on tracks. These are LRTs. It’s dirty and can be overcrowded in the mornings. (I had no room to move on one train today and had to exit at the wrong station so others could get off.) We also have a homeless problem in our city, so it’s not safe either. I did have a nice conversation with some lady I had not met before today about her bird feeder, but that has never happened before. Usually, I’m on alert and just want to get to my destination ASAP.
Oh. So like the trolleys in San Francisco. Those aren’t nearly as cool as trains. lol.
You lived in Europe?
Yup. Sure did. My dad was stationed in Italy, and there you travel by REAL trains. With several carriages and an engine. We used to spend our vacations in Edelweiss Germany up in the alps. I’ve also been to Austria, Rome, Greece, and Switzerland. I wish I could do it again now that I’m older and can appreciate it. Although, living there is not fun.
Ah okay. Poor anyone who has Ellette writing his/her story.
Lololol.
You are actually the first person to ever say that.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Remember?!? I STOLE Joseph. So you can’t kill him!!!!!
I will let you borrow him to finish writing/editing your book if you say you will be NICE to him. Otherwise, he’s my character now.
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
That might be why I haven’t posted anything recently……..
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
On second thought, maybe I’ll leave Joseph alone and do bad things to Asher, Eric, Noah, Darrien, and OH! And SABINA!!!!!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
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