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“I don’t know. He finally got to a point where he stopped threatening to kill us every other minute. But from then on, he just listened silently. When he left, he made no indication that he was ever coming back. all I know is something changed his mind in respect to killing us. Beyond that…” Noah shrugged again.
It occurs to me that Sabina and Julian are similar. Both have a brother who became a Christian, and they both thought he had gone crazy, which made them resistant to hearing the gospel and angry at whoever shared it with their brother. So I’m wondering if Sabina is going to recall how she acted and how this may impact her interaction with Julian.
“Oh Sabina!” Sher wailed.
Asher?
“I’m sorry, Sabina,” Joseph said, trying a wiser tack. “I won’t fight again.”
I don’t know why, but in this section, I was hit a little more by your telling instead of showing. For example, the ‘traying a wiser tack’ feels unnecessary in the sentence above since we can already see from Joseph’s words that he isn’t happy about being in trouble and is tying to find a way out. Try to keep an eye out for things like this.
“And to make sure there is no fighting, I’ll make sure you really have to do it together.” Sabina reached for her hair and untied the leather cord that held it in place. “Give me your hands.”
Asher and Joseph nervously held out their hands.
Sabina took Asher’s left hand and tide it securely to Joseph’s right. “There now. You two had better find a way to get along, or else the job will never be done.” With that, she turned and walked back toward the house.
Interesting and amusing form of punishment. I’ve seen this before, but usually, the two who disagree just happen to end up tied together instead of someone tying them together to teach them to get along.
“Does God help you not to be scared?” Asher asked.
Joseph nodded. “When I ask Him.”
“I wish He would help me.”
Joseph looked at his friend. “He will, Asher.”
This isn’t bad, but again, something you asked me to keep an eye out for. This is another area where Joseph is starting to feel like Aaron. Being strong in his faith in others, but in reality, struggling quite a lot with his own fears and doubts.
Forgot your tag on the previous post
There was a little box holding the ring that had been his mother’s. Her favorite shawl was folded beside his father’s hunting knife. His very own Bible lay with the treasures, and beside it were several shiny stone from the creek that flowed through his father’s farm. Joseph leaned forward and set the papers gently back into the box.
Did you steal this from Martha Humler? (Before you flip the question on me, no I did not steal this from Joseph. I unfortunately don’t have access to a time machine.)
Nice to see Joseph reflecting on his own father now.
Leon continued. “There was a peace about Aaron that I could not understand. He had such confidence, and I felt he knew something I didn’t. Something that changed everything. Then Adrian ran. I looked everywhere for him, hoping to reach him first and talk reason into him. I was sure it was a mistake. I did not make it in time to save him, but now I don’t believe anything I could have said would have swayed him. Adrian was not the same boy I have known for so many years. Years ago, I gave up believing in my gods. I went through the rites customary to a soldier, and I offered the prayers and libations that were necessary, but my heart was not in it. Not after what they did to me. However, that night I begged the gods to spare Adrian. I prayed as I have only ever prayed one other time. But Adrian still died.”
Five soldiers, willing to listen? Nice.
I was going to say, if the soliders learned that the Christians had been praying that Adrian would not die, that would complicate things a bit. But then I went back and discovered that in the prayers you shared, they only prayed that Adrian would not be afraid and that he would remain strong, so I guess you don’t have to deal with that then.
It occurs to me that Sabina and Julian are similar. Both have a brother who became a Christian, and they both thought he had gone crazy, which made them resistant to hearing the gospel and angry at whoever shared it with their brother. So I’m wondering if Sabina is going to recall how she acted and how this may impact her interaction with Julian.
Very good observation, peasant. The crown highly approves of the fact that you were able to see our literary mastery and skills as a writer.
(*hurriedly takes notes on what you just said.*)
I don’t know why, but in this section, I was hit a little more by your telling instead of showing. For example, the ‘traying a wiser tack’ feels unnecessary
got it. thx
Interesting and amusing form of punishment. I’ve seen this before, but usually, the two who disagree just happen to end up tied together instead of someone tying them together to teach them to get along.
Lol. It’s very affective. Trust me…………..
This isn’t bad, but again, something you asked me to keep an eye out for. This is another area where Joseph is starting to feel like Aaron. Being strong in his faith in others, but in reality, struggling quite a lot with his own fears and doubts.
well I want Joseph to have SOME faith. Plus, its easy to say something and not so easy to actually do it. Plus, he still has his whole flaw with thinking Noah and people like him know everything. Idk. I want this scene, but are you suggesting I write it differently?
Did you steal this from Martha Humler? (Before you flip the question on me, no I did not steal this from Joseph. I unfortunately don’t have access to a time machine.)
Huh?
Goes back and reads through you WIP.
Oh, that. No. I didn’t. first off, we have established that I started this saga years before you started yours, so technically I wrote this scene first.
Secondly, I forgot about that scene with Martha.
And thirdly; No. i didn’t.
Nice to see Joseph reflecting on his own father now.
🙂
Five soldiers, willing to listen? Nice.
I was going to say, if the soliders learned that the Christians had been praying that Adrian would not die, that would complicate things a bit. But then I went back and discovered that in the prayers you shared, they only prayed that Adrian would not be afraid and that he would remain strong, so I guess you don’t have to deal with that then.
Yes, that could have been a problem.
Now we have finally met LEON!!!!! What do you think of him? (I’m interested because you have so far been the only one to recognize him appearing consistently through both these books.)
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Just watching Avatar the Last Airbender for the first time with my sibling in. 12 Chapters into Book 1 right now. Prince Zuko and his uncle have been my favourite characters so far.
Lol. It’s very affective. Trust me…………..
Sounds like you are speaking form experience here.
well I want Joseph to have SOME faith. Plus, its easy to say something and not so easy to actually do it. Plus, he still has his whole flaw with thinking Noah and people like him know everything. Idk. I want this scene, but are you suggesting I write it differently?
I think it’s alright. Just pointing it out like you asked me to.
Now we have finally met LEON!!!!! What do you think of him? (I’m interested because you have so far been the only one to recognize him appearing consistently through both these books.)
I take it this is one of your favourite characters?
Well kind of suspected that he would eventually become a Christian, so I’m not surprised to see him here. (as I am suspecting that Zuko has a redemption arc)
*goes back to look at Leon scenes again*
Oh hey, he was the guy who gave them permission to look among the dead for their loved ones after the war, wasn’t he?
He seemed to be someone who lives with regret. Earlier he told Sabina that Adrian was dangerous. Did he truly believe that?
I feel like I need to see some more of him before I can give you my full thoughts. Right now he is just a solider who is not as cruel as the empire he serves (though not perfect), and is seeking to know more.
I had no idea what that picture was from. i just saw the meme the other day and thought of it. It was perfect.
Sounds like you are speaking form experience here
Let’s just say, a long time ago, the last fight I had with my brother ended when mom duct taped our wrists together.
For the whole day.
We had to do school together, eat together, play together, do chores together. It was traumatic. lololololol. At least I had my right hand free, but i had to keep my left limp so that he could use his right. You really do learn to get along very fast during that time. lolololol.
Oh hey, he was the guy who gave them permission to look among the dead for their loved ones after the war, wasn’t he?
Yup! That’s also him!
Are you organizing all the character scenes? I don’t know how you can weed through the LTBL forum and find them!
He seemed to be someone who lives with regret. Earlier he told Sabina that Adrian was dangerous. Did he truly believe that?
it was the lie they were forced to tell all Ardentans in order to try and get them to comply.
Right now he is just a solider who is not as cruel as the empire he serves (though not perfect), and is seeking to know more.
Regrets. Pain. Rejection. Yeah……. you’ve just about got it. He wants to be an honorable soldier. But……. well I’ll stop going on unless you want me to. He’s just someone who hold honor and valor very highly.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
@hybridlore @linus-smallprint @koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon
NEXT SECTION
The wind blew gently on the roof of the little house in the middle of the great capital city of Ardenta. On the roof, his legs crossed and a Bible on his knees, was a young man. He was reading intently, and every now and then he leant over to write down notes in a leather-bound book beside him.
At sixteen, Joseph had been diving deeper into the Word of God then he ever had before. Many things had happened in the past six years, and they were things that shook the world as he knew it almost every day.
To begin with, there had been the salvation of several imperial soldiers. Two of them had fled the country, and Joseph prayed every day that they had made it safely into Vendailia. The third was dead, having been caught and arrested before he could get out. And two had chosen to remain in Ardenta. Julian and Lieutenant Leon had been running along one end of the country to the other, dodging patrols and keeping just one step ahead of the imperial soldiers. They spread the Word of God everywhere they went, and the two former soldiers had some of the most amazing stories to tell. Stories of God’s power, salvation, and protection as they traveled the length and breadth of the country. The two young men visited when they could, and often took satchels of Bibles to spread throughout the country when they left.
Noah and Darrien continued to train up strong leaders to fill the church, and Joseph loved listening to these times of teaching and fellowship. These young men had some of the most dangerous positions, for as leaders they were shown no mercy. Their strength and faith were something that Joseph deeply admired and often longed for. Two of them had already been killed. One, a young man who had been caught holding a worship meeting in his home, and another, named Jethro.
Joseph still could hardly fathom the courage Jethro displayed in the face of death. Jethro had never been someone Joseph thought of as strong, physically or spiritually. He was quiet, and often had many doubts and questions that he wrestled with. Joseph could understand this, but Noah and Jethro had come to an agreement that until Jethro was standing firm in his faith, he should not be a leader among the Christians.
Jethro had dedicated himself to becoming a servant among them. He wasn’t outspoken like the men Joseph admired, and he was often sick. He seemed frail in just about every possible way. Now, Joseph regretted the fact that he had never understood the things Jethro had so quietly and secretly done for them.
No one knew the whole of the story, but one Sunday Jethro was missing, and the next day he had been found dead in an ally. He had clearly been killed by soldiers. The Believers were stunned, for it was secretly whispered that Jethro would be the one to give in if anyone did.
However, the last two years had taken a surprising change. The persecution had died down in the Capital, but Julian and Leon believed the deaths had heightened in the surrounding towns and cities. Many wondered at this, and Darrien mentioned that perhaps they hoped to crush the faith in the smaller towns and then focus completely on the capital.
No one knew what was happening, but there were plenty of guesses.
Joseph paused his study and looked out over the city, deep in thought. He hadn’t seen Leon and Julian for almost a year now, and he prayed they were safe.Steps sounded on the stairs, and Joseph turned to see Darrien. “May I join you?”
“Of course,” Joseph replied, motioning Darrien to come up.
Darrien sat at his side and the two looked over the city. “The breeze is beautiful tonight,” Darrien commented.
Joseph nodded in agreement. He was silent a moment, and then looked at Darrien. “You and Noah have been training young men as leaders for some time now.”
Darrien nodded.
“Why do you continue to do so, even though we already have you, Noah, and a few others to help lead the church?”
“Well, with the way things have gone over the past few years, there’s no guarantee any of us will live very long,” Darrien replied.
Joseph reluctantly agreed.
“But there is more,” Darrien continued. “These young men come ready to lead God’s people, and there may come a day when strong young men such as these will have a chance to go out into the country and begin building up churches all over Ardenta.”
Joseph looked up hopefully. “Do you think there’s even a slight chance?”
“Perhaps,” Darrien replied.
They fell silent, Joseph turning this over in his mind. At last, he looked up. “Darrien, I know I am not ready to become a leader, but may I sit and listen to you and Noah teach the others? I long to learn more of Christ and I want to lead others to Him and help them as they walk through life. Perhaps I will never lead a church, but still, I would love to learn what you and Noah have learned and are teaching.”
Darrien nodded slowly, looking at the sky as it gradually darkened. “I am very glad to hear you say that. You show a maturity beyond your youth, and I believe God will use your thirst for Him. I am absolutely willing that you should learn, and I am sure Noah will agree with me. Of course, we cannot teach you everything, for we ourselves are still learning, and I believe we will never stop learning. But we will gladly teach you what we know, and you will learn much from the other young men as well. Always remember, test everything you hear against the Word of God, and you will not stumble in your path.”
Joseph nodded solemnly. “I will, Darrien.”
***
So, the days turned to weeks, and the weeks to months. Joseph thrived under the teaching of Darrien, Noah, and several others. He loved to learn, test, listen, argue, and study. And of course, everything he was told he measured against God’s Word.
Aside from his study, Joseph and his boyhood friends, Asher and Eric, had an active part in the copying of the scriptures, and he spent hour after hour working away at it. The finished Bibles were hidden in the secret chamber built in the cellar that Noah had finally been able to build.
And still, no one had been allowed to leave the cities and towns they had been transferred to in the aftermath of the war. Only the soldiers could move freely from place to place. Joseph was often lost in dreams of how much more he could do if he could travel through the country.
Of course, Joseph was still a boy, and he loved to spend time messing around outside with Asher and Eric. Joseph’s knees and elbows were heavily scared, and his hands and feet calloused from playing games on the hard stone of the streets. Sabina was surprised if they did not return with knees, hands and elbows scraped and bleeding, and clothing torn. The three became extremely tough, and developed the high pain-tolerance boys must have if they are going to tumble and tackle in the streets with bare feet and sleeveless leather vests.
Sabina sewed, bandaged, and laughed. She was as adventurous as they, and sometimes she would join the more civilized games played in the house. She was always full of stories to tell and songs to sing, and she became a refuge to the three boys. Especially to Joseph, who loved her like a mother.
However, despite the play, Joseph had grown up before his years. The evil had had witnessed changed him, and he was older than he should have been. He was also a quiet young man, and sometimes rather shy. Joseph was frustrated with this, for Aaron had been one of the most friendly and outspoken men Joseph had ever known, and he longed to be like Aaron.
As time passed, Joseph began to feel a sense— a call— as though someone was speaking from within him. Joseph had always been attuned to God’s voice— perhaps even more so after his childhood— and now he began to pray in earnest that the Lord’s will would be revealed.
Then, one dark night, two visitors arrived.
Joseph was sitting at the table with Noah, discussing a passage in Isaiah, when there was a knock on the door.
Darrien hurried to open it, and Sabina came downstairs. Asher looked up from where he had been patching his boots, with Eric at his side, and Alicia put down her dish cloth.
In the hall, they heard Darrien open the door, and his low voice floated back to them. “Good evening.”
“Greetings brother,” came the reply
Joseph’s heart leapt, for he knew that voice. He scrambled up and hurried into the hall. Darrien was stepping aside, and two cloaked men entered. As soon as the door closed, they pushed back their hoods.
“Julian! Leon!” Joseph cried, leaping toward them.
Darrien had stepped forward to embrace Leon, when Joseph nearly tackled Julian, wrapping him in a fierce hug. “Oh, it’s so good to see you! Thank God you’re both safe!”
Julian slapped Joseph on the back. “You as well, my friend.”
Joseph stepped back, laughing and breathless. He had begun to fear he would never see the two former soldiers again. Julian was now twenty-five, but the look in his eyes was older. Joseph knew he had seen and gone through much. Still, his smile was as quick and bright, and his laugh equally so. Julian had to look up at Joseph, for the young Ardantin was now nearly six inches taller than him. “My, my, someone took advantage of the last year,” the soldier whistled.
Sabina ran in now and stole Julian for a hug. Then she began herding them all into the kitchen for food and drink.
Sabina still treated the two former soldiers like her boys, and Joseph often laughed at the way she mothered them. She was taller than Julian, and the same height as Leon, making such actions a little easier. Her boys were not so, for Joseph and Asher were now several inches taller than her, and Eric was exactly her height at only thirteen.
The two guests ate hungrily, and Sabina saw to it that they had been given all they wanted before the boys were allowed to pester them with questions.
At last, after what seemed like eternity to Joseph, the two told Sabina they couldn’t eat a single bite more, and she allowed questions.
Joseph perched on the corner of the table next to Julian, and the others gathered around, some sitting on the benches and some standing. “So, where have you been?” Joseph asked.
Julian looked to Leon.
“All over,” the former Lieutenant replied. “We’ve been in and out of several towns and cities, spent a little time in the villages, and mostly just tried to keep one step ahead of the soldiers. We gave away all the Bibles to Christian families spread out over the country. Then we holed up in some caves and copied down more using mine and Julian’s as reference. We stayed there for the winter, which lasted about four months. It never ceases to amaze me that you get a dusting of snow at most! Back home, whole towns are completely snowed in, and some villages get buried. Anyways, after that, we continued until we had given away all the new ones. By then, we figured you would have some more ready for us, so we decided to come back.”
“It was rough going at times,” Julian put in. “We always had to be on the alert, and I can’t believe how many times we just barely outran soldiers.”
“They’re still looking for you then?” Noah asked.
“It’s been six years!” Eric exclaimed.
Julian laughed. “Grudges die hard in our culture. Depending on what crime was committed, the punishment could transfer from the father to the son if the father was never found.”
“That’s barbaric,” Alicia said.
Leon nodded. “Most things in our country are. Though we pride ourselves in having the most advanced of civilizations. But back to your question, perhaps they are not directly looking for us, but once they find out two young men from the Empire are speaking out against the gods, they get extremely riled up.”
“All it takes is a gust of wind that loosens one of our hoods, one glimpse at the color of our eyes, and the game is up,” Julian added. “Someone sees the wrong thing, and the next moment the soldiers are flying down on us with the people yelling for our blood. It’s pretty chilling at times,” he added with a slight shudder.
“I cannot begin to tell you how many times I thought we were going to die,” Leon agreed. “But there was always a small alley, a perfect hiding place, a Christian brother or sister who helps us escape the mob, and then we were safe and free once more,” He glanced over at Julian. “We were talking one night, and both of us feel like a second Paul and Silas.”
Julian grinned. “I have to admit, the stories in Acts are very encouraging to both of us as we continue to spread God’s word and avoid the soldiers.”
Darrien laid a hand on Leon’s shoulder. “Well tonight, Paul and Silas may rest soundly without fear of soldiers. We’ll keep watch, and if the house is searched, we have completed the secret hiding place down in the cellar.”
“Oh yes, I would like to take a look at that,” Leon said. “I can give you some experienced advice for shielding it from soldiers,” he added with a wink.
All the boys trooped down to the cellar, and Leon and Julian examined the false wall. They both agreed that it would be very unlikely that any soldiers would discover it. After talking a few minutes longer, they came back upstairs.
“Oh, I almost forgot one of the most important reasons we came!” Julian exclaimed. He turned to Leon. Though the two no longer served in the army, Julian tended to defer to his friend.
“Oh, I remember,” Leon said. “There is a town some days travel from here. It is a very dangerous place, and almost the whole inhabitance follows the false gods of the Empire. The soldiers were ruthless this past year, killing on the slightest suspicion. Neighbor turns on neighbor, brother on brother— all in hopes of gaining favor and reward for turning in the ‘destroyers of Ardenta’. However, there is one family at least who still follow the ways of God.”
“How do you know?” Asher wondered.
“We were camped out near the town, and had been praying that God would show us if we should attempt to enter. Then, we noticed something strange. Someone was climbing down the wall with the help of a rope. After a few minutes, he reached the ground and hurried to our camp. He told us God had told him to come to us for help. He said he was a Christian and asked if we also fallowed God. When we told him we did, he went on to say that his family worshiped God, and they had earnestly prayed for teachers and leaders. He asked us to tell the other churches that they are in desperate need of spiritual leadership. He said if any will come, they must go to the Flying Swan and ask for a man by the name of John Caddick.”
“We know you train young men to lead in the church,” Julian put in. “Might one of them come and help these people.”
“Gladly they would, but how?” Noah asked. “We Ardentans cannot travel from place to place. We are trapped here. You have a hard time, but at least you can normally get passed the guards. One look at us, and it’s over.”
“Isn’t there some way?” Darrien asked.
“I wish there was, but so far the door is closed,” Noah replied.
Joseph looked from one to the other. Noah was normally the one who ran into danger, but now it was he who said this was impossible. It must be very dangerous.”
At last, Julian spoke. “Let us pray that God opens that door.”
Noah agreed, and the young men gathered in prayer. A little while later, Sabina and Alicia came down and told them Leon and Julian’s rooms were ready.
As Joseph went to his room that night, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Julian and Leon had said. His heart went out to the little town so lost in sin, and that one remaining family who struggled on despite the danger around them.
Joseph set his candle on the table and began to clear the papers away and organize them in neat stacks. Nearly finished all of Isaiah today, and he was eager to complete the book the next day. Joseph picked up his Bible and glanced down as he began to close it. Something caught his eye, and he tipped it open again
‘How beautiful upon the mountains
are the feet of him who brings good news,
who speaks peace,
who brings good news of happiness,
who proclaims salvation,
who says, “Your God reigns.”’Joseph stared at the words for a long time. At last, he closed the Bible and slowly sat on the chair at his desk “Father, what would you have me do? Are You telling me to go to these people? How? You know very well that there is no way I could get out of the city alive, let alone into their town. I don’t understand! This seems impossible.” Joseph sighed and absently tapped his finger against the Bible. “I know You can do all things, so if You want me to go, then I know You will make a way. Only show me what to do.”
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
@hybridlore @linus-smallprint @koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon
If this book had a theme song, this would have to be it. I have listened to it several times while editing, and this just about embodies the whole story.
What do y’all think?
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Sorry to suddenly intrude, but……….
AH AH AH!! Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! I love that song so much!!
Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Had to say something…INTP.
I KNOW!!!! It is such a good song!! Have you heard it before?
Hey, have you been stalking this forum? (curiosity.)
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Yes!! My family even saw the whole play at Sight & Sound!!
I sure have, lol. Not a lot, though.
INTP.
SO COOL!!! My friend got to see it live too! I watched it online when they streamed for free one night. I LOVE Sight &Sound, and I’m DYING to see Daniel!!!!!! I loved David so much! I feel like Esther onward took a huge turn in their music style and quality.
Ooo! What do you think from what you’ve read?
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Yess!! Oh, awesome!! Yes! Daniel too!! We really want to see Noah, so we’re hoping they’ll do it in Branson, lol. We haven’t seen David yet, but we’re thinking about it. Oh yes, I agree about the music! So far, Esther has been my fav, but I really love the Samson soundtrack too. 😁
Well… I haven’t really read much at all, to give any real opinion… mostly just the back and forth replies from Linus and you and everyone else and all… so yeah. Not much at all. I may go and read the actual chapters but idk. 😅😁
INTP.
Have you listened to the soundtracks? They have them online and I’vfe listened to all of them. Daniel is going to be AMAZING!!
Haha! So all you’re doing is reading the critiques? lol. That’s funny! I hope they’re interesting. haha,
Do you want me to tag you when I post chapters?
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
All of them? Oh my, I did not know this!! I’ll have listen to them—I’ve only heard a few.
They are lol!
Sure! 😄
INTP.
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