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Oh yes! That’s perfect. Now Karen is even more desperate to escape at once. How about this- Kim sneaks Karen into the servants quarters. While she hides there, Kim continues cleaning, etc. Suddenly, close to midnight, a guard from the cave bursts into the castle, shouting that the newest prisoner has escaped. (Her escape was discovered when the guard brought the prisoners their evening meal, but it took him that long to cross the island.) The castle’s owners prepare to search the entire island. Kim helps Karen escape out the servants’ entrance just in time. The castle is built on a steep, rocky cliff overlooking the sea; Karen clambers part-way down the cliff and hides in a small crevice. For over an hour, she listens to the shouting of the searchers. Sometimes the voices come too close for comfort, but no one finds her. Then, something long and silver rises from the water below her. After her initial shock, she realizes it is the submarine. She watches as several shadowy men appear on the conning tower and somehow disembark onto the narrow shore below. They walk along the base of the cliff until Karen loses sight of them. Karen knows that Kim will never consent to escape until they discover what the “bad guys” are up to, and she realizes that now is her chance to find that out. Silently she climbs down the rest of the cliff, and then she sees a platform almost even with the water that spans the distance between the sub and the shore. She crosses the platform, then looks nervously over her shoulder. The men are nowhere in sight. Hoping no one else is inside, she climbs the metal rungs up the conning tower, lifts the metal hatch, and climbs down the ladder inside, lowering the hatch as quietly as possible. At the base of the ladder, she looks around. (My knowledge on submarines is very limited; I’m sure this will be a highly inaccurate description. I am loosely basing it on a Nazi U-boat.) It appears that she is in the control room; it is completely deserted. Hallways extend from each end of the room. She chooses the left one, which leads through the galley to a closed door marked Crew Quarters (in whatever language these people speak. Obviously, Karen can’t read it.) She tries the door; it’s locked. Someone moves behind the door, and Karen gasps. She turns and hurries back through the galley and control room into the other passageway. This one leads past the tiny bathroom, sound booth, and radio room to another door, which is slightly open. Karen pushes it gingerly; the hinges are well-oiled, and the door silently swings wide open at her touch. A fancy electric chandelier lights what appears to be a conference room, with chairs and sofas bolted in a circle around the room. It’s empty, to her great relief. She crosses the room and opens the door at the other end of the chamber, and, to her shock, she discovers an iron cage that appears to extend the rest of the sub. She suspects it is a jail cell, and wonders why it is there. Suddenly, the hatch on the conning tower clangs open, and voices drift down into the sub. Terrified, Karen slips into the cell and closes the door. It clicks strangely, and Karen realizes she is locked inside! …
Um, here comes the part you will probably want to edit out unless you liked the Austria idea…
The men enter the conference room. At first Karen cannot decipher what they are saying, but when she crouches down by the air vent by the door she can hear perfectly. She is terrified as she realizes who they are. (This is shortly after World War One. Again, feel free to ignore this idea if you don’t like it. Nazism was hatched in Austria, and it was becoming quite popular around this time.) The men discuss how the Nazi movement is growing, and they decide who to take out next. Karen has naturally never heard of said movement, but it doesn’t sound good. She realizes she has become involved in something much bigger and scarier than she had dreamed. How can she and Kim possibly stop them? Right now, her immediate concern is, of course, to get out of the cell without being discovered… I’m out of time. Maybe Kim joins her on the sub and hides, and they try to escape when the submarine reaches it’s next destination. I’m not sure.
Oh my, this is a very long post. This is your story, not mine, so please ignore me if I am taking it in a direction you do not want it to go.Ooooh Sarah I’m really getting into this story and the Austria idea doesn’t sound too bad either. We don’t have any other ideas And this one seems to fit pretty good.
Poor Karen is locked in. Perhaps the guards enlisted the help of the servants to search the island and Kim had been peering over the cliff ledge to check on Karen when she saw her go into to submarine and then watched in horror a few minutes later as six elmen boarded the sub as well. Now she knew she had to help her sister but how? There is only one way on and off a submarine. She might get caught. Had her sister been caught?
Slowly she started down the edge of the cliff. She would see this through even if it meant they both died. At least they would die together.
HC
Of course! That’s an awesome idea. Thank you, Hannah.
So Kim manages to climb down the cliff without being noticed. Pushing her fear aside, she crosses the platform and climbs into the submarine. She finds herself in the control room, like Karen did. No one is in sight, but she hears voices down the right hallway. Instinctively she enters the left passage. There’s no sign of Karen in the galley or in the adjoining dining room, and the door marked Crew Quarters is locked. With all her heart Kim dreads investigating the right hallway, but she knows she has no choice. As she stands in the middle of the control room, debating, a door down the right passage clangs open, and the voices grow louder. Panicked, Kim searches for a place to hide. Next to the conning tower stairway is a square hole in the floor that goes down about 10 feet, with iron rungs on the side as steps. Kim scrambles down into the hole and discovers another door. She hesitates to open it. What if some of the crew are in there? The men enter the control room above her, and Kim desperately tries the door. It opens with a creak, but the men do not seem to notice. Kim slips through it and finds herself in the engine room. She searches it for a more permanent hiding place, and discovers a small closet filled with extra parts, oily rags, etc. It’s not ideal, but at least it’s better than crouching behind a bulky piece of machinery. The conning tower hatch clangs open, and footsteps ring across the deck above as some of the men disembark. To Kim’s dismay, some of the men remain in the control room. Kim listens to their conversation, hoping to learn if they have captured Karen. (She has become quite fluent in their strange language during her captivity.) No mention is made of Karen; instead, they discuss their next destination- a Mediterranean port with a French-sounding name. Footsteps sound on the iron rungs that lead to the engine room, and Kim freezes as several crew members enter the hot, dark chamber and begin their work. Someone in the control room above her shouts the command to dive, and the gentle rocking of the waves stops as the sub sinks. Kim fights tears as the roar of the engines and the throbbing of the screw drown out all other noise. She and Karen are hopelessly trapped. Hours pass. Then the sub begins rocking again, and Kim realizes they have surfaced. The engine noise dies down, and the crew leave the engine room. Soon complete silence pervades the submarine. Determined to find Karen, Kim sneaks out of the engine room. The control room is deserted. The quiet, even breathing of sleeping crewmen echoes from the left passage. Kim searches the right hall thoroughly, finally stopping at the locked door of the cell…
Oh no, I did it again. Writing long posts must be contagious. Anyway, they find each other and either get captured or remain in hiding and help the prisoners who are picked up at the sub’s destination to escape, overpower the captain, and take over the sub. What do you think?I think you guys have this very well under control, so I will assume it is safe for me to bow out. I have been succeeded by one my superior in all matters of outlining, it would appear. I seriously had no clue where this was going. Thank you, Sarah, for saving my face.
I will simply say that I have realized that a perfect protagonist is an entity impossible to summarize in one topic, however long. Every perfection is a different shade of perfection when it comes to personalities, because there is no one shade of personality. The world would be a very dull place if that were so.
But some of the basic rules for enhancing any personality are as follows :#1. Do not be afraid to hurt the character. Do not be afraid to give them fears and force them to fight those fears. #2 Do not be afraid to have them stumble down the wrong path and learn bitter lessons. Sometimes it can be as drastic as not being afraid to kill them. #3. Give the character foil-characters for company— characters whose own personalities bring out either the best or the worst in the MC. And… there. As quickly as such a vast topic may be summarized, I have done so for you. Tell me if I missed something. I probably did.And now I shall leave this whole outlining mess to those with the brain for it. Honestly, I never outlined a day in my life. I never had need, even though my novels are complicated and atrociously long. Don’t ask me why. I have no idea why. It must be a disease… like writing long posts. 🙂
Wow, Sarah you have amazed once again. I think they should get captured, it gives the reader that “Oh no will nothing ever go right for them?” perspective. The cell was attached to the conference room was it not? Well maybe one of the crew returns to get some important papers when he discovers Kim trying to free Karen. Long story short they both end up in the cell with a guard keeping watch 24/7. There’s even talk of “disposing” of them in the ocean.
Oh dear, so long then Kate. Never outlined you say? Ah I see you share bad habits with me. 😀
HC
A perfect protagonist and a perfect person are different.
Perfect characters are rather unlikable. What I consider a good protagonist is one that is far from perfect. Flaws can be relatable. Flaws can show human nature.Flaws can be endearing. Flaws can show God’s hand at work. Flaws can show a character arc towards improvement. Flaws can provide hope.
Literal perfection in a character is unrealistic, discouraging, mechanical and unrelatable.
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