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I was way back when Hannah restarted this topic.
Woooowwwww. That got crazy fast. But it’s got thrill to it, I found myself wanting to read more.
So she’s thrown into a giant cell with lots of other people. The others are all filthy and smelly but Karen pushes her way through the throng asking for her sister. (I’m not really sure where to go from here.)
HC
Oh by all means jump in, Jade! We could use your help.
Yes, I think that is a really good fear for her to have. Perhaps she’s happy on the farm but a drought comes and they can’t make their bills so she has to go to the city to work. That gives a good tug at the heart strings.
HC
If “Lost” was written next to Karen’s sister’s name on the list, does that mean she escaped from/disappeared from the prison? Or did she never actually reach the prison before disappearing? Please, somebody write this, because I want to read it!
You know, Sarah… I have no idea. I guess I probably should have ascertained the genre of this tangled novel before I started adding all sorts of weird, freaky things to it, but it was pretty late when I did my last post and I don’t think I was thinking straight. I’ve backed myself into a corner. If one of y’all can’t get me out, I’m stuck for good. The only thing I can think of right now is that she sees her sister in the crowd , chained against a wall, and almost reached her, but suddenly woke up and found that she had been dreaming, and that it had all been a nightmare… which I hate. No good book should end like that. But help me out or that’s how this one is going to end. At least, I certainly don’t know where it’s going.
HELP!Hold up! Restrain the horses!
@Kate: I’m lost. I wonder if this situation is explained fully in this topic somewhere…but page three isn’t being very informative, and I think I’d just get more lost reading through the whole thing…
Can you start at the beginning and give me the whole situation with this poor girl who’s having a nightmare? (Excellent Black Moment btw.)
This is the independent girl who lived on a farm… you know, the one you said turned into a witch and lived happily ever after? She’s looking for her sister, who went missing ten years back, and she finally had to resort to taking the same cruiser that her sister took just before her sister disappeared. She found a ledger in the captain’s cabin with a bunch of names in it, all crossed out in red ink, and her sister’s name was there, along with the words ‘Lost: Monte Carlo’. So was her own name— Karen, with the word ‘Accidental’ beside it.
But the ship wrecked before she could confront the captain, and she was picked up by some weird guy with a pointy black mustache and led to this cave with the words ‘Monte Carlo’ branded into the iron doors standing at the entrance of it.
And then comes the post about the nightmare… and then comes where I’m stuck.Allow me to state my own take on this multi-genre mess— the plot isn’t that important to me, considering we are trying to develop the character and ascertain what it takes to attach a reader emotionally to the MC. So… I’m more liable to mess it up than I would be if we were trying to discover how to make a plot realistic. Just for your own information… 😛
Ooooohhhh, I thought we were talking about a story you were in the middle of writing. OK. That makes more sense.
I shall study on this.
*Diverts mental capacities to the problem*
What if, in the furthest recesses of the cave, Katen finds a message carved in the rock. It’s too dark to read, so she traces the letters with her fingers. The message describes the entrance to a secret tunnel somewhere in the cave, and below it are the letters S. A., or whatever her sister’s initials are. Karen finds the secret entrance, and enters the tunnel. Strangely enough, the tunnel doesn’t look like the sort of thing an escaping prisoner would make; it’s too well made. She follows it for nearly a mile, when it abruptly ends. Karen feels around and discovers an iron ring in the wall. She pulls on it, and a door opens into a dark chamber that is barely lit by light shining through a crack beneath a door on the opposite side of the chamber. If the room has a ceiling, it’s so high Karen cannot see it, and by the wall are sleeping two large creatures that look awfully like lions. Karen is terrified, but her determination to find her sister forces her to continue. She tiptoes past the lions and slips through the other door, which is not locked. (Wait-this island has a castle on it, doesn’t it?) Now she finds herself in a huge treasure room, which is lit by torches along the wall. Along one wall is a stone staircase that goes up about twenty feet. Karen hurries up the staircase and through the trapdoor above it, and finds herself at the end of a passageway in the castle. She hears voices coming from a room nearby, and peeks in the doorway. Several men are sitting around a table eating dinner; one of them is the man who put her in the cave. Among the maids who are serving dinner, Karen recognizes her sister. Excited, she hides behind a tapestry along the wall and waits for her sister to come out. When she does, she is shocked and strangely upset to see Karen. She explains how she escaped through the tunnel and disguised herself as a kitchen maid, hoping for a chance to escape. However, no ships ever came near the island. Sometimes a submarine came by at night, (always the same submarine), but never a ship. She has long given up hope of escaping, and she scolds Karen for trying to rescue her… So they think of a way to escape. Maybe they sneak onto the submarine and get into even more trouble, I’m not sure. What do you think?
I hope this is helpful. Please ignore it if it isn’t.Oh Sarah that is brilliant! Just what we needed a fresh perspective.
So she finds her sister and somehow they keep Karen hidden. Maybe she sneaks Karen down to her room. But here is a question, what is this place? What is its purpose?
HC
Do you mean the castle? It’s where the evil people who have been kidnapping and imprisoning all these people live (like in the Most Dangerous Game story). And now I have a question for you and Kate: why are they imprisoning all these people? Is it because they need hostages?
Oh, and what about this? Karen is anxious to escape at once, but her sister has made many friends among the prisoners and servants. Years ago, when she first escaped from the cave, she promised herself that she would figure out what the castle’s owners were up to, try to stop them, and free her friends. However, in all her time at the castle, neither she nor the other servants have been able to discover what their scheme is. The castle’s owners never discuss it, but sometimes they board the submarine and are gone for days. The secret of their plan must be hidden on the submarine, and Karen’s sister is determined to find it out before they escape.
How’s that?
By the way, Karen’s sister really needs a name.
Oh, and maybe the castle also has “Monte Carlo” engraved over its door. Or should it have a different name?BRILLIANT! Thank you Sarah, you saved our imaginary story from the doom of a nightmare ending… literally. Karen’s sister can be named… Kimberly. Or Kim.
This is a little corny, but what if Karen sneaks aboard the submarine and discovers that all the people are imprisoned here as a giant government project. (No, I am not a conspiracy theorist). Maybe it’s the government of Ecuador or something. Maybe they’re being studied. You know you hear all those weird statistics that say things like ‘ninety percent out of a hundred percent of people would rather be chained in the sunlight than free in the dark.’ Okay, I made that one up, but seriously, how do they get those figures?
At this point Karen is battling despair. Her heart is torn between escaping with her sister and going back to their farm and their simple life, and staying behind to try and give all the other prisoners a chance to escape. For herself, there’s no reason to stay— except human decency, and she begins to tell herself that even that doesn’t matter where it’s not practicable. But that’s the question. Is it practicable?Karen overheard the now-dead captain mention a vault that’s somehow connected to her sister. Is it an undersea vault? What’s it for? Did Kim get captured because she somehow discovered the existence of this vault? Maybe she also was eavesdropping on the captain and first mate, and got caught.
Kate, your idea about this being a government experiment got me thinking. Maybe these people are part of a political scheme. Maybe the names crossed out in red ink belonged to members of the aristocracy of (some European country) that this group wanted eliminated. Maybe those sent to Monte Carlo were also important political figures who they would a: be able to coerce into signing certain laws, documents, etc., and b: be able to hold as hostages in negotiations with the government of said country. Of course, Karen and Kim are just American farm girls, and only got mixed up in this because they stumbled upon information they shouldn’t have.
Maybe the vault holds things that have been stolen from the government of (this country. Maybe Austria. Or Hungary. Some country like that.).
What do you think about that?
P. S. If the country is Austria, and it’s the early 1900s, then this story has some serious historical potential. If you like historical fiction. If it isn’t Austria, and it isn’t the early 1900s, then never mind.Oooh I’m loving this.
Ok so what if some of the names were crossed out in say blue and those were the names of rising political stars that would be most likely to be outspoken against this program whatever it is. And what if the guards find out there’s been a “security leak” and they know about Karen but they just don’t know where she is.
HC
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