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It sounds like it would be leaving the farm.
Ok…..
But why is she afraid? What does she think will happen if she does?
HC
Oh life is so simple in your eyes! *facepalm*
HC
To the rescue! *Glares* Order in the Court!
Ahem. Now.
Our independent farm girl is afraid of leaving the farm because her older sister did the same thing a long time ago, and our independent farm girl (Karen) doesn’t know what happened to her. She’s afraid it was something awful, because it is only ever discussed in whispers. So she clings to the farm. The farm is her life, though she is independent. She will not allow herself to even dream of leaving it. But she does not acknowledge this fear to herself. Not many people are frank with even themselves about their fears. So she uses the excuse that she loves farming. She wants to grow up on the farm and help her dad run it until the day she dies— that’s what she tells herself she dreams. That’s what she tells everyone else she dreams. But in reality she hates farming.
Karen is torn between her fear of leaving the farm because of whatever happened to her sister and her hatred for the farm. Her fear is stronger. Her fear of what will happen to her, and her fear of what others will think. She does not wish to spend the rest of her life being talked about in whispers. Who would?
So that is her fear. But she’s a great farmer girl. Everyone says she chose well when she chose to stay with her dad instead of expanding her knowledge of the world as she always secretly dreamed to do. So she’s caught by their approval and her fear.
But then… what if she discovered something truly awful about her sister’s story? What if she accidentally overheard that her sister is not dead of a certainty, as she had always thought? What if she discovered that her sister had just disappeared off the face of the earth on a journey to Europe? It was verified and confirmed that the sister boarded the ship before it left harbor, and was not on the ship when it docked.
Now Karen had always had a very strong bond with her sister, and though it has been so long, she still loves her greatly. So she swallows her fear and decides to risk it all in a desperate search. She leaves the farm. She leaves everything she had built up for herself in her false dreams, and strikes out into the unknown. And then…… I don’t know. And then what? You tell me.
Oooh how thrilling!
So she leaves, but she has very little money or knowledge of the world around her. All she knows is where she’s going: to the harbor her sister had left from and never returned. She’s vowed to herself that she’ll find her sister alive or…dead. There are so many dangers for this girl who knows nothing of this world that’s new to her. She knows only that it took her sister and she’s going to get her back. So she asks around the dock and harbor but it’s been so long that nobody remembers her sister, not even by her photograph. Then, with the last of her money she buys a ticket aboard the same cruiser that her sister had boarded.
And then……
HC
…then she becomes a witch and lives happily ever after?
Witches are cold and bitter, there is no hope for them to live happily ever after. Besides, she’s searching for her sister so she’s hardly likely to turn into a witch just yet.
Try again….maybe.
HC
A witch? I promised myself I’d never write about a witch. Don’t be ridiculous.
Oooh… shivers, Hannah!
At this point our reader is very locked up in the plot and the suspense, but not necessarily connected to Karen emotionally. Besides, in leaving the farm, Karen surmounted and did away with what she was afraid of. So we need emotional struggles as well as suspense in the plot. Let’s say maybe Karen is beginning to realize that she had it pretty good before she left the farm. Her life was simple and wholesome and happy, and now that it’s gone, she’s wondering why she hungered so much after travel when happiness was standing right beside her for her to embrace. But she has to find her sister. She has to.
So… she discovers that the captain of the cruiser she’s on has been the captain of that cruiser for thirty years. It was ten years ago that her sister disappeared. But when she asked the captain if he remembered anything, the captain clammed up on her and evaded her questions. On top of that, she slipped down into the hold one night alone and overheard a conversation between the captain and the first mate. They said something about a woman— something about ten years ago. And something about a vault.
Now Karen has a lead. She also has another great fear. How will she ever come through this unscarred? How will the marks of this fade from her, and allow her to lead the normal life on the farm she has begun to long for again?
But Then Karen finds a picture of her sister hidden away in the captain’s cabin… along with a knife, an old rusty key, and a ledger full of names and numbers. Each name has been crossed out with red ink. And Karen begins to wonder if there will even be a return journey. What if she has stumbled upon something so large and monstrous that she cannot uncover it without risking death? What if there will be no going back?And now I have to ruin that nice dramatic end to my post and tell you guys that my computer did indeed croak. I was able to log in using the family laptop, but my posting schedule might be kind of messed up until I can get my own laptop back into commission.
You tell him, Kate! I shall never write about a witch either.
Oh my goats, I was think along this same line of her missing her old life! Its a sign….
Oooh love it so far. Maybe the list of names have descriptions beside them telling how everyone was offed. So, she reads this list and finds her sisters name but it is crossed out with a different colored pen than the rest and beside her name is written, “LOST. MONTE CARLO.” Another lead! Maybe her sister isn’t deaf after all. But then she scans the list again and finds her own name. Beside it says “ACCIDENTAL.” Now she knows she has to leave the ship, but how?
Sorry about your computer. 🙁 Hope you’re able to come back soon.
HC
I mean maybe her sister isn’t dead, not deaf. *rolls eyes*
HC
That’s what I figured you meant. 😉
And… I have absolutely no idea where this going. I’m clueless. Absolutely clueless. I think I went into way too much detail on my last post, and therefore added some very vexing and unneeded little things that need resolving. So… ummm… the cruiser wrecks in the middle of the night just as Karen was about to confront the captain about her findings, and the captain dies. Karen finds herself struggling to keep from drowning, clinging to a dining table that floated out of the first class salon. She’s picked up by a mysterious man (who has a little pointy black mustache and dark, hawklike eyes… ugh…) and taken ashore on a little island in the dark. The man pulls her all the way across the island, which seems to be deserted of any civilization whatsoever, and just as the morning is breaking brings her to the mouth of a cave. There are great iron doors set a little way back in the cave, chained and double locked, and the path to the door has been worn and worn again with the passing of many feet. And branded into the iron of the second leaf of the door are the words ‘Monte Carlo’.- Rank: Loyal Sidekick
- Total Posts: 199
If I can jump in here, I might be able to help. Slightly.? I would say she says exactly what she thinks, and needs to learn to speak the truth in love. Her biggest fear would be losing her freedom. Living in a city away from the wide open spaces is her biggest nightmare. She has to decide whether anybody or anything is worth losing her freedom for. Does that help at all?
- Rank: Loyal Sidekick
- Total Posts: 199
Sorry I didn’t see the new posts until I had already posted.
We must have been posting at the same time. Nd yes, feel free to jump in, anyone! The more the merrier. I’m starting to get the impression that I’m going to end up making a mess of this. ;P
I think I see what you’re saying, though. She has to decided whether she’s willing to risk everything she ever wanted for her life for someone she loves. Is that the gist of it?
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