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  • #182265
    Keilah H.
    @keilah-h
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 5035

      ok fine they’re not “MY” characters per se, they’re both characters I shamelessly stole borrowed for fan fictions, but whatever.

      Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

      #182270
      TheArcaneAxiom
      @thearcaneaxiom
        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
        • Total Posts: 1299

        @kyronthearcanin

        That’s awesome! Any way we could get a link?

        He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

        #182274
        Ava Murbarger (Solfyre)
        @kyronthearcanin
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 715

          @thearcaneaxiom

          Whenever I try to add a link it isn’t working for some reason XD

          Anyway, my site is http://www.avamurbargerauthor.com, so if this goes through the book page links to Amazon lol.

          Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

          #182276
          calyhuge
          @calyhuge
            • Rank: Wise Jester
            • Total Posts: 96

            Congrats! May your gifts glorify the Lord and further His kingdom. May God guide your pen!

            I ❤️ Debating Theology
            I ❤️ Family Heritage
            I ❤️ Medievals

            #182285
            Ellette Giselle
            @ellette-giselle
              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
              • Total Posts: 1792

              @rae

              It was really good! I liked the scene a lot. I would really like to see the previous scene where the fight/killing happened. It would help straighten out the dialogue. You see, Misty thinks Tenz is wrong, Tenz thinks he;’s right. Roan, (who I don’t think saw much) is loyally siding with his sister. However, we don’t have the actual facts. It could be like Misty says, but maybe she was also freaking out and in the moment everything was haze and muddle. maybe Tenz is in the right!

              Also, Tenz’s speak is much younger then a six-year-old’s. It sounds like he has a mental problem or a three year old’s speak, maybe. I mean, all the little kids I know speak pretty fluently by four and five. Just a thought.

               

               


              @kyronthearcanin

              Hey!!! That’s so awesome!!! Where are you selling your book?

               


              @keilah-h

              I’m glad you didn’t scrap him lol. He deserves to fight with Crosshair and Mundy over what remains of my mental state XD

              Haha, we’ll see how well you like him! He’s not a main character. He’s an ally or even a step below. He’s a good guy though.

              Sure, I’d love to see pictures!

               

              What happens to Jack??? Does he become like Freedom’s poor boy Riker???? What happens?? I need to know!!!

              I don’t know much about Riker….. But Jack’s not in a good spot. He’s a firstborn, which means he was taken and trained to become a child death squad soldier. At 13 he, and those like him, were forced into the army. Now, Jack just hasn’t taken well to the corupting of the Government, but he does what they say. However, at 17 years old, when he is given a prisoner, a boy just his age, he is ordered to take him outside the city and shoot him. Jack can’t follow through with it, and in a very daring move he let’s the kid escape. After that, Jack bends his will to doing every single thing he can to get free. He finds a few other children who are trying to get out, and he carefully folds them under his wing into a small fighting force. Jack, a “weapon of death” has now turned against the Government. With Agents crawling all over the place, Jack has to be extremely careful. If caught, he knows they will all die, but it’s a price they are willing to pay for the dream of freedom.

              At last, one evening, everything is set. The escape plan begins. All is going smoothly until……….. well, there is always a chance of Agent infiltration, traitors, and spies.

               

               

              ooh more characters! Can’t wait to meet them!

              Yeah, I posted all their boards, did you not see them?

              Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God

              #182287
              HighScribe
              @highscribeofaetherium
                • Rank: Chosen One
                • Total Posts: 2510

                @kyronthearcanin

                That’s awesome, congrats!

                Any noun can become a verb if you don't care enough.

                #182288
                Ellette Giselle
                @ellette-giselle
                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                  • Total Posts: 1792

                  @keilah-h @kyronthearcanin @rae @thearcaneaxiom @freed_and_redeemed @theshadow @highscribeofaetherium @grcr

                   

                  hello, for anyone who’s been reading the scenes I’ve been posting, here’s another Jonathan/Jim interaction. Jonathan is now 15, making Jim 27.

                   

                  It was late one evening. Jonathan sat on his mattress and watched Jim, who was shaving with an old frying pan pull of water and a newly captured razor. Jonathan was fifteen now, and some of the men made fun of his lack of facial hair. Jonathan just a quickly spat barbed comments back. He had become good at looking out for himself. He flung words and threw punches as fast as any of them. He was now fully a member of Jim’s team. When they went as two men it was just them now, and when they were a triangle team Dan joined them.

                  Jonathan picked up a book and began thumbing through it. “Jim, can I ask you something?”

                  “What?”

                  “Why do you have a gold ring on a strap around your neck?”

                  Jim stiffened. “Who told you I did?”

                  “I’ve seen it a million times when you change your shirt,” replied Jonathan.

                  “I haven’t changed my shirt a million times since I joined this group,” snarled Jim.

                  “That doesn’t change the question,” replied Jonathan.

                  Jim was silent.

                  “You were married once, weren’t you.”

                  Jim hissed as he cut himself with the razor. “Now look what you did!” he cried. “I skin you alive for that!” He flung the razor at Jonathan, followed by a boot.

                  Jonathan easily dodged both. “When I first came, you told me you once had a boy,” he pressed on.

                  Jim glared at him and began wiping the blood from his cheek with the back of his hand.

                  “Jim, you know what happened to me. Tell me what happened to you. I’d never tell a soul,” said Jonathan, quietly.

                  Jim continued to glare and wipe blood. At last, he slowly looked up. “Not a soul?”

                  “I swear.”

                  Jim sat in silence a while longer. Then, he let out a breath. “I had a girl once. Prettiest thing on this earth. We were married while we were just kids. I was barely eighteen at the time. She was a year younger. Nine months to the day our son was born. The nurse snatched him away, and took him to get him marked with a number. They tattooed it into the little thing’s wrist. Made him scream like fury. When they were done documenting and marking, we got him back. They told us not to name him, and we obeyed because we were frightened of losing him. For three years he was ours. Then he was enrolled in Academy.”

                  Jim stopped short and began twisting his shirt. “When he was six years old, they were combat drilling. There was an accident and… well… he never came home.” Jim blinked and shook his head violently, as if to shake away the memory. “My girl died later that week. She had nothing left. He was her whole world. She cried herself into a wicked fever and then slipped away. That’s about the time I came here.”

                  Jim twisted his face into a snarl. “They killed my boy, and they killed my girl. I’ll never forgive them for it.”

                  “That’s why you saved me,” said Jonathan, softly. “Viper said it was because you couldn’t forget.”

                  Jim snatched up his other boot and hurled it. Jonathan was too distracted and the missile crashed into his shoulder. “Who put an idiotic idea like that into your head,” growled Jim. He stood up and stormed downstairs in his socks.

                  Jonathan just sat and stared after him, and for a moment he thought of his father. He died to keep me away from men like the ones who killed Jim’s boy.

                  Jonathan shoved away the memory and got to his feet. He stretched and then stalked downstairs after Jim.

                   

                  Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God

                  #182307
                  freedom
                  @freed_and_redeemed
                    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                    • Total Posts: 721

                    Congrats @kyronthearcanin!!!! So happy for you, girlie!!!! 💖💖💖

                    #BeardedSteveRogersIsSuperior

                    #182309
                    RAE
                    @rae
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 3828

                      @ellette-giselle

                      It was really good! I liked the scene a lot. I would really like to see the previous scene where the fight/killing happened. It would help straighten out the dialogue. You see, Misty thinks Tenz is wrong, Tenz thinks he;’s right. Roan, (who I don’t think saw much) is loyally siding with his sister. However, we don’t have the actual facts. It could be like Misty says, but maybe she was also freaking out and in the moment everything was haze and muddle. maybe Tenz is in the right!

                      I was going to post that scene too, but it’s cringier than this one and it needs a little more world building. This isn’t for a book, so I haven’t figured much out yet.

                      What basically happened is Misty, Roan, and Tenz tried to go to a town disguised, but Misty’s disguise failed and everyone realized that she’s what they called simply a ‘paler’ which considered to be bringers of chaos and bad luck. Roan tried to protect her, but was knocked out. Tenz stood in front of Misty to shield her from the military presence. The commander (noticing Tenz’s child-like ways) said that if Tenz would come with him quietly, he wouldn’t touch Misty. Tenz agreed, but once he was secured, they went after Misty anyways. So he used his power to break free from the soldiers, kill the commander, and take Misty and Roan away. If you don’t know, Tenz was born the son of Alpha, a Lab Child created in the project Assassin Clone. His real name is actually Leith Martin Grath. After the birth of Tenz and his almost identical twin, Reid, Tenz was kidnapped. He was meant to become the Alpha that Alpha refused to become. He has no memory of before he was in the lab, and never really left there, so his knowledge is limited. For instance, the part where Tenz is searching for a word, that word should have been friend but he doesn’t know that word. The point is the way Tenz was raised he has no problem with killing someone because that was encouraged. Misty and Roan are in the right, just Tenz doesn’t understand.

                      Also, Tenz’s speak is much younger then a six-year-old’s. It sounds like he has a mental problem or a three year old’s speak, maybe. I mean, all the little kids I know speak pretty fluently by four and five. Just a thought.

                      Okay. Sorry, I haven’t been around too many little kids until recently, so I’m still figuring stuff out.

                      And yes, Tenz does have a mental problem. It’s the reason after his DNA was no longer needed, he supposed to be exterminated at the lab, but Omi helped him escape. He’s basically a little kid who has powerful magic and was trained as an assassin.

                      "You need French Toast."
                      #AnduthForever (hopefully 💕)

                      #182310
                      Ellette Giselle
                      @ellette-giselle
                        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                        • Total Posts: 1792

                        @rae

                        Wooooooah!!!! That’s a lot. Ok, wow. Poor kid. This sounds like quite and interesting story! I’d love to read it!

                        Looks like you and I both went the child soldier/assassin rout, though you have magic and I don’t. lol.

                        Thanks for the explanation!

                        Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God

                        #182311
                        freedom
                        @freed_and_redeemed
                          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                          • Total Posts: 721

                          @whalekeeper You’re fine. Totally understand <3 Take all the time you need! 💖

                          Okay cool! I’ve known about the internal conflict, since you focus a lot on those two struggles in your posted scenes. What about the physical conflict/action they’re dealing with? Like what are they doing in Germany/USA? Is there some antagonistic force they work against throughout the series, or are they trying to accomplish something?

                          Hmmm….welllll, let’s just say I’m not one for a lot of external conflict😅

                          Ofc, in the first book Leon/Riker are dealing with the situation of WW2/Nazi Germany, which is difficult enough, and there’s also the antagonists, most notably Erich & the most notable, since he’s the main villain, Hans

                          The second book’s external conflicts deal with the situation in post WW2 Germany, which involves a lot of hatred on both sides, violence, destruction, etc. It has antagonists like Franz (Riker’s father), Heinz (a German man who Leon gets into a fight with and later reappears to try to kill Leon & Riker when Riker gets involved), and Aaron&Joash (2 Jewish men who have sworn vengeance on the Nazis; try to attack/kill Riker twice together; Joash one extra time on his own that leads to *SPOILERS*).

                           

                          So yeah, there’s not really an antagonistic force they work against through all 3 books😅

                          In the USA, Leon/Riker are mostly just trying to adjust to life in another country and just trying to live life to the best of their ability.

                          I’d imagine Riker faces some animosity with him being in the SS and all, struggles to find work, and there are things going on at home involving loss (but I can’t say what yet👀).

                          Leon is working, trying to provide, and navigating through his grief and being a single father to 3 kids in a time where single fathers were very uncommon. (he has his mother-in-law for help, but still).

                           

                          In Germany, Leon/Riker’s goals are to spread the Gospel, to reach the unreached, to bring hope to a Germany that even almost 10 years after the end of the war is still often in shambles. They’re in Germany to tell their story, and mainly stay in West Germany but also go to East Germany when they learn the Gospel is virtually not allowed given that it’s controlled by the Soviet Union.

                           

                          idk if that helps any tho😅 It’s hard to describe books sometimes🫠🤷🏻‍♀️

                          #BeardedSteveRogersIsSuperior

                          #182320
                          Keilah H.
                          @keilah-h
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 5035

                            @ellette-giselle that’s fine with me lol

                             

                            let me go find a picture of Crosshair, somehow I don’t have that many on my computer

                             

                            but in the meantime here’s Mundy giving you a smirk that I find annoyingly cute and I hate that

                            don’t be fooled by his attempt at being amiable. This character’s a deadly trained assassin who’ll put a hole through your head faster than you can blink.

                            Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                            #182330
                            Ellette Giselle
                            @ellette-giselle
                              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                              • Total Posts: 1792

                              @keilah-h

                              that’s fine with me lol

                              what’s fine with you? Did I miss something?

                               

                              Hmm, interesting. Not really the sniper type in my opinion. But I guess they come in all shapes and sizes. lol.

                              Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God

                              #182331
                              Keilah H.
                              @keilah-h
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 5035

                                Crosshair’s not as good at the game of attractive smirks but he’s awesome in his own right. He’s also addicted to toothpicks.

                                He’s the kinda guy who won’t just blast a hole directly in your head, he’ll set mirrors on the walls and ricochet the laser around for a while before it finally hits you.

                                Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                                #182339
                                Keilah H.
                                @keilah-h
                                  • Rank: Chosen One
                                  • Total Posts: 5035

                                  @ellette-giselle I meant “That’s fine he’s only a side character” when you were talking about your guy….lol

                                   

                                   

                                  lol, yeah, he was never ACTUALLY in the military that I know of, he’s just a hired gun who happens to be great with long-range weapons. He’s also Australian, not American, so that might have something to do with it too.

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                  why are two complete strangers geeking about what makes a proper sniper character from two respective sides of a server. why am I doing this with my life. lol.

                                  Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

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