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Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Short Story Critiques › Short Story Critique? *hopeful glance around*
Hello! I was wondering if anyone would like to read over a little short story I wrote for a Christmas contest. (The criteria for the contest are: “anything Christmasy” and “under 800 words.”) This story is about 600 words. This is the link (I’m not sure if it would all fit in this text box): https://docs.google.com/document/d/1B0-tYspZd5NDCmeDdp6C8OwCJNFSXMF7Yap__-swMgY/edit
Thanks to anyone who reads it in advance 🙂
Read to explore worlds, write to create them.
@sleepwalkingmk *grins ear to ear* This is so sweet!! Let’s see… I like how you set the scene, but I also think you should spend more time talking about what the narrator is thinking. It’s a little idle right now, talking mostly about the things going on around her. It’s still awesome though! Also, “a while” is one word: “awhile.” 🙂
Nice job!! 😉
You can pronounce it however you want.
@sleepwalkingmk I like it. I actually enjoy the stillness of it. 👍
A Kapeefer for life!
Compendium of KP Literature: kapeeferliterature.wordpress.com
@sleepwalkingmk Nice! I’ve put in a couple of comments on the actual doc for you. 🙂
Writing Heroes ♦ Writing Hope // janemareeauthor.com.au
@dekreel Thanks so much! I’ll keep that in mind as I edit it.
@supermonkey42 Thank you 🙂
@jane-maree Thank you for your comments! They’ve helped so much! 😀
Read to explore worlds, write to create them.
@sleepwalkingmk *wipes away happy Christmas tears* This is adorable and heartwarming. I literally had one suggestion. (Btw, I am “Anonymous” on the document.) Brilliant work! 🙂
A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)
@ingridrd Aww, thanks! And thank you for your comment! It was much needed 😀
Read to explore worlds, write to create them.
@sleepwalkingmk You’re very welcome! 😀
Writing Heroes ♦ Writing Hope // janemareeauthor.com.au