Say and think

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  • #104177
    Bethany
    @sparrowhawke
      • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
      • Total Posts: 30

      “Say and think”

      by Bethany

       

      I cannot say what I think

      And I cannot think of what to say.

      When my better judgment restricts

      What my heart begs to convey–

      I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you.

       

      But I wish that I could tell you

      And hear what you would say,

      Yet I doubt I’d like your answer,

      So I think I’ll go away.

      This corner seems nice.

       

      Maybe in a few years

      I’ll crawl out of this den,

      And I’ll be able to tell you

      And we’ll be the greatest friends.

      Or maybe you’ll be gone.

       

      So maybe I will tell you now

      What I really think

      How I love the books you read

      And why I couldn’t sleep.

      Maybe, perhaps, today

      I’ll say what I think.

      ———

      any critiques welcome (be honest)!

      title ideas welcome too

      • This topic was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Bethany.
      #104183
      Anatra
      @anatra23
        • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
        • Total Posts: 211

        @sparrowhawke

        *reads*

        *brain hurts*

        *reads again*

        Oooh, I like it. It makes me think and struggle to say what I think about my thoughts. Confusion is common in my mind.

        I don’t have much critique on this subject. But, this makes me think you’d enjoy one of my favorite quotes tho.

        “Oh, it’s a case of, they’ll think I’ll think that they’ll do ‘A’ so I’ll do ‘B’ because I wouldn’t think that they’d think of that. But then because I might think I know what they’re thinking, they’ll do ‘A’ after all because I wouldn’t think they’d think that way.” –Will Treaty, Kings of Clonmel, Ranger’s Apprentice

        I hope I got that quote correctly XD

         

         

        #104277
        Kathleen
        @kathleenramm
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 635

          @sparrowhawke

          This poem makes me think of a particular person in my life. Our relationship has been really complicated and recently some terrible things have happened causing me to only be able to have shallow conversations with them despite me knowing them my entire life. I have so many things I desperately want to ask them and tell them, but I’m scared that it will only add fuel to the flame.

          I really loved this poem. I related so much with it. Thank you so much for sharing it!

           

          #104617
          Elfwing
          @elfwing
            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
            • Total Posts: 486

            @sparrowhawke hello, I know I’m late, but may I say good job and that is incredible expression of a pain that is familiar to me.

            the first title ideas that come to mind is “To say what I think” “How to say…” “Maybe I’ll say” maybe those are terrible but i wanted to put them there 🙂

            I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

            #104625
            Bethany
            @sparrowhawke
              • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
              • Total Posts: 30

              @anatra23

              I like that quote–and that the poem made you think!


              @kathleenramm

              I’m glad you relate to this poem! While I didn’t write it about a situation like you’re describing, I think it’s cool that it has a few different interpretations. In fact, everyone I have shown it to has thought it meant what you’re describing. So maybe I’m good at masking my meaning, or my poems are just vague XD


              @elfwing

              I’m glad you relate as well! And thanks for some title ideas. I either get a title and that’s it, or a poem and no title. I can never have both it seems.

               

               

              #104626
              Elfwing
              @elfwing
                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                • Total Posts: 486

                @sparrowhawke yeah its a gem! youre welcome

                yeah i think that is a common thing though. XD i get that haha it took me months to finally think of a title for one of my poems lol

                I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

                #128230
                Charityanne
                @charityanne
                  • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                  • Total Posts: 36

                  Well done!

                  I love to read heartfelt poems and this was definitely vulnerably written.

                  again we’ll done!

                  #128792
                  Elanor
                  @elanor
                    • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                    • Total Posts: 186

                    @sparrowhawke

                    *Sobs*
                    Oh my goodness. I sooo relate to this poem.  I struggle ridiculously to start conversations with people. ESPecially the people I want to talk to the most.

                    "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf

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