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@kate-flournoy Yes, I did ask. Thank you for that answer. 🙂 I guess that life’s just a little confusing is all. Why can’t emotions agree? 😛
"Courage is action in spite of fear."
@Corissa-Maiden-of-Praise I know whatcha mean. 😛 The upside to both of those personalities, though, is that they’re incredibly good at getting things done. (With the possible exception of the ENTP, who is just incredibly good at making the argument that things should be gotten done. 😀 ) They care deeply, it’s just they don’t always notice or think about it.
So Kate, is it due to being an empath that I cringe and feel like disabling all my sensors when seeing and hearing all the chopping and slicing in too-graphic battle scenes? (Or even some other, not graphic, things. Like Mike Wasowski slamming himself into a sitting position on a metal bar to make Boo laugh—that part makes me seriously want to scream. And he’s not even human!)
Or does empathy only apply to emotions? In that case, I know I’ve got some of that too, because of how uncomfortable I feel when others are in uncomfortable/tense situations; and how wonderfully happy I feel when something wonderfully happy happens to someone else. Is that empathy?And you said:
ENFJs are determined to see that the world goes round and that people grow and mature and better themselves and everything around them. INFPs are determined to eliminate the stress and frustration that comes with discord…
I would say that I definitely feel what you said INFPs are determined to do. I hate discord and disagreements. Maybe that’s my ISFJ side coming into play. But I don’t (except when I’m in a bossy mood, *gulp* 🙁 ) like dragging everyone else along with my progress unless I’m pretty sure I’m not inconveniencing them. 😉If I could say one thing to all the ENFJs out there (listen up @Emma-Flournoy) it’s that you need to realize that the maintenance of harmony (inner and outer) is essential to the continuance of progress. Getting upset and depressed at yourself serves no purpose other than to muddy the waters and impede the progress that is your driving force.
*goes and hides under quilt*
If I may, @Daeus; from what I’ve observed you don’t get depressed about the progress of your work. What’s your secret?
(Or perhaps you do, but are very good at not showing it.)And by the way, your villain sounds wonderful. Not just a typical dark lord type, but with more personality. And problems. Excellent.
@Emma-Flournoy well… sort of. Not really. You are predominantly ISFJ, therefore you are not predominantly an empath. You have a smidgen of empathy, (and enough ENFJness to be harsh with yourself when you don’t progress) but for the most part you have sympathy and are ISFJ all through.
The difference between empathy and sympathy is one letter— NF versus SF. Let me explain how those two work. For an N, they seek for the idea/concept behind the fact. For an S, they seek for the ramifications of the fact and the resonance those ramifications have in the physical world. Therefore the NF is naturally going to connect to the emotion behind the action, while the SF is naturally going to connect to the action itself. The difference between iNtuition and Sensing. This is what makes Ss so practical and observant and diligent— they connect directly to the physical world and therefore can minister to physical wants and fulfill physical needs. (Why do you think the ISFJ stereotype is Nurse? That’s better than Disney Princess, anyway, which is what the INFP stereotype is… *cringe*).
So say a kid trips on the sidewalk and skins his knee. An SFs first thought is ‘Oh poor guy! That must hurt so bad— lemme go get some peroxide and a band aid, and then maybe we’ll eat cookies to help him feel better.’
The NFs first thought is ‘Oh, poor guy! Look at him crying— he doesn’t know how to handle pain; such a little guy can’t have experienced much pain before and its confusing him. If I can calm his emotional state, he’ll not be so confused and we can see about attending to the hurt in a calm, objective fashion.’
To take your example of graphic fight-scenes, the violence bothers you because you live on the surface, where the physical things of the surface are real and painful and extremely near. Violence doesn’t bother me because I live detached from the surface, if you will— the things of the surface are of secondary significance. I feel much more deeply for what goes on beneath the surface— the underlying questions and concepts and results of surface actions.
This is why Ss are logesticians and Ns are philosophers. 😛This also applies to our mutual dislike of discord— the ISFJ hates it because its hurtful and messes up the happy atmosphere they thrive in and strive to create for others. The INFP hates it because it causes confusion, which obstructs understanding, without which there cannot be harmony; and if there is no harmony there can be no vision. The S hates it for its own sake. The N hates it for what it does to the emotional structure of the universe, for lack of a better explanation. 😛
Comprendo?Anyone else? 😀
@Kate-Flournoy I think I get you…
So then when I feel terribly sorry or happy for someone, it’s sympathy? Even though the emotion I am experiencing for them is the the same one they are experiencing?
With your example of the kid on the sidewalk (poor little guy!), it looks like you’re saying empathy is primarily for emotions… is that right? So I feel sympathy for his pain, and you feel empathy for his poor young little brain?And then, the part of me that loves philosophy, and tracing things to their roots even if it doesn’t apply to the physical and practical here and now, is N?
the ISFJ hates it because its hurtful and messes up the happy atmosphere they thrive in and strive to create for others. The INFP hates it because it causes confusion, which obstructs understanding, without which there cannot be harmony; and if there is no harmony there can be no vision.
True true true. And where there is no vision…the people perish. So listen up, world! Discord is not good!!
It’s okay, Kylo Ren. Your existence is helping people understand people better, even if they’re not talking about you.
*arrives late in the conversation and has a ton of reading to do*
Alright, alright. I have questions and…and…and…yeah.
First of, @kate-flournoy you described to a T when you tagged me. (Get it? To a T, Tessa Haha) Yes, and ENFJ is me. What I don’t agree with is that the feeling of people. I am a very feeling extrovert. I cannot walk passed someone who needs help. I cry over very little. Am I NORMAL??????
Um…what else did I want to say. Ah yes. @corissa-maiden-of-praise What is your MBTI type? Because I think my sister follows you very closely.
She can’t talk one on one with a stranger, but likes to be with people. What type would that be.
*wants to write a post as long as Kate*
I am so glad to finally find out why I get frustrated and annoyed. 🙂 I am always wanting to be doing something, but it needs to be something useful. Something that will change the world.
@daeus You are the same as me right? ENFJ?
*weeps for the poor guy who fell over just for Kate to talk about* boo hoo boo hoo boo hoo.
*decides that I can’t write a long post* SUBMITS. 🙂@BlueJay I think I’m either ENTJ or ENTP (or a mix like @kate-flournoy said). Actually, I sometimes find it easier to talk to strangers, because I have a whole arsenal of questions I can use to keep the conversation going if I don’t know them very well. It’s the people that are not strangers, but at the same time that I don’t know extremely well that are the hardest, because I know enough about them that it erases most of my “conversation questions” but not enough to simply talk about anything. So, basically, I prefer to keep the other person talking and if I can’t do that I feel extremely awkward. Like I said, I’m extremely complex; I don’t even feel like I know myself very well. It’s rather annoying. 😛 😉
"Courage is action in spite of fear."
@Emma-Flournoy as I said, you do have a smidgen of empathy. But for the most part when you feel for someone, you’re happy because they’re happy, or sad because they’re sad. That’s sympathy. Empathy is when you actually feel their sorrow. It’s not your emotions responding to theirs— it’s your feeling intuition picking up on their emotions and resonating in that same key. In a nut shell, to be an empath is to be stuck with the default tendency to step outside yourself and stand in others’ shoes. It can be a beautiful thing. It can also be extremely difficult to cope with. I guess I never thought about it until now; I’ve had this all my life, so I’m used to it, but imagine picking up millions of tiny emotional signals wherever you go and no matter what you do you can’t turn them off or shut yourself down. You can’t ever ‘not feel’. It just doesn’t work.
@Corissa-Maiden-of-Praise it’s not surprising at all you aren’t comfortable talking about yourself, especially if you don’t understand yourself. Being an ENTP/J and focused on accomplishment and leadership, you like being where you know what you’re talking about and can bring something constructive out of every interaction. Because you don’t know yourself that well (a lot of that has to do with your being an E and outward focused instead of inward) you’d rather talk with others and steer the conversation away from unfamiliar ground. And it’s by no means strange that ENTJs/Ps don’t understand themselves as well as some types— commanders/debaters have very little practical application for such knowledge, therefore they don’t really think to acquire it. Just remember this: if you don’t factor yourself into your plans (your strengths and weaknesses and limitations and skills) you’re leaving out a major piece of the puzzle.… Am I helping at all? Or do you just want me to be quiet? 😛
What I don’t agree with is that the feeling of people. I am a very feeling extrovert. I cannot walk passed someone who needs help. I cry over very little. Am I NORMAL??????
What exactly don’t you agree with, @Bluejay? That extroverts aren’t as intense as introverts? I didn’t say they didn’t feel as keenly— they do. Extroversion vs introversion has nothing to do with strength of emotion. It’s just extroverts are outgoing, and introverts bottle themselves up inside themselves and never let anyone in. (And I’ll be the first to admit that’s dangerous. 😛 ) Therefore, a lot of bottled up emotion makes them more intense. (Also more prone to explosions when they reach their limit. XD )
And is it ‘normal’ to have a soft heart? Tessa… YES. OF COURSE IT’S NORMAL. Or if it isn’t it should be. First of all, you’re a human being made with emotions and a heart. Secondly, you’re a girl, and those are universally acknowledged to be slightly sympathetic in nature. 😀 Thirdly, you’re an empath. And fourthly, you’re a Christian.
Have an inspirational quote:
@Kate-Flournoy
Gotcha.
Probably. 😛
But if empaths can’t ever ‘not feel’ anything, how can they ever get impatient with anyone, since they’ll feel how the other person feels, and won’t have the heart to be impatient?When I start drawing on your convenience too much, let me know and I’ll stop. 😛
@Corissa-Maiden-of-Praise
It’s the people that are not strangers, but at the same time that I don’t know extremely well that are the hardest, because I know enough about them that it erases most of my “conversation questions” but not enough to simply talk about anything.
Um, this. 😉I am a very feeling extrovert. I cannot walk passed someone who needs help. I cry over very little. Am I NORMAL??????
@Bluejay did you mean, are you normal because you cry over very little even though you are very feeling?Okay, quick question on the topic of Star Wars.
Which do you all prefer: Star Wars or Lord of the Rings?
@daeus @emma-flournoy @kate-flournoy @bluejay @corissa-maiden-of-praise @anyone else on this topic☀ ☀ ☀ ENFP ☀ ☀ ☀
@Dragon-Snapper Lord of the Rings. It’s not even close. Star Wars may have Han Solo and the greatest villain ever, but LotR has Faramir and Samwise Gamgee.
@Bluejay oh dear, I may have read your post wrong— I thought you said you cried over ‘every little thing‘, not over very little. I’m sorry. Which did you mean?
@Emma-Flournoy just because they feel everyone elses’ feelings doesn’t mean they haven’t got feelings of their own, and most of the time those are stronger than the ‘second-hand’ feelings, if you will. A perfect empath would never get impatient and would always be completely compassionate, but none of us are perfect, now are we? 😛In fact, I think it’s only the INFP, maybe the INFJ, who can feel everything.
I question this!!! Of course I wouldn’t know, seeing as I’m not one of them, but I think I’d die if I was any more feeling than I am.
@kate-flournoy; @emma-flournoy; Let me fix up my statement. It takes very little to make me cry. If you’ve ever heard that people cry over the drop of a hat, that’s me.Therefore, as ENFJs are constantly seeking progress, when progress is impeded they tend to get confused and frustrated because they can’t work as functionally as they usually can. They usually pour themselves into growth. When growth isn’t happening for one reason or another, they have no immediate goal and can lose focus and get depressed. Then they get depressed at their own depression because depression impedes progress, and become even more depressed that they’re depressed at their own depression that’s impeding progress. ? It’s a vicious circle. They may not realize that it’s progress they crave— simply that they’re depressed and don’t really know why, which is depressing because if you don’t know why something’s happening there’s no way to progress out of it.
Oh this is so my life. 🙁 Dooooommmmm….. I agree with you @corissa-maiden-of-praise Why can’t emotions agree???
*I love the quote, @kate-flournoy*
@kate-flournoy I’ve changed. I can’t remember how old I was when I first took the test, but I redid it today and I am an ENFP-T 😮
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