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Hmmm okay I can see that, makes more sense
(Btw this is just my opinion, so with a grain of salt pleeze š)
Obviously there’s going to be some people who just want power, and it makes sense for them to make a big deal out of the snake\Ara thing.
I would say tho that yeah, she WAS just a child, it’s easy to understand she shouldn’t be attacked for what happened. And at least a big chunk of the kingdom would understand that. I mean what if it had been their kids? I get people can be dumb, but common sense would say they shouldn’t feel prejudice against her – ESPECIALLY as an eight-year-old. In fact, if anything, I think they’d feel sympathy for her sad situation.
I’m not saying you can’t use the general public’s dumbness to create a prejudice against Ara. That works great! Maybe there needs to be more danger connected to the snake bite, tho. Like maybe Ara is forced by the snake venom (if there’s any left?) to occasionally do bad things – as if she’s in a trance. Then afterwards she’s super sorry for it and doesn’t even remember, but they don’t believe her.
I guess what my point is, don’t underestimate people’s common sense. Unless these people think different in some way – it’s a fantasy story, and common sense can vary!! I’m just biased towards characters being humanly realistic, even in this genre š
…
Btw, what’s up with Grimm? I haven’t heard much about him, and I’d like to learn more! Does he have wolf powers? Where does he come from? How did he meet Jocelyn? š
āEverything is a mountainā
Can you help me with Cal and Thorn’s friends-to-lovers relationship? I don’t know how to shift them from friends to lovers without being stiff or cheesy š¤š
āEverything is a mountainā
@whalekeeper AHHH I AM ALWAYS WILLING TO HELP WITH ROMANCE AND FRIENDS TO LOVERS IS LIKE MY FAVORITE TROPPPPEEE ššš (of course it is cuz thatās what November and Ara are lol)
Can u give me a bit of info on them?
As for Grimm, heās introduced in book 3, and this is also where he meets Lyn (along with Ara, November and obviously Nyx.)
Heās a shifter like Corvina and his whole clan is, wolf shifters. So he can Shift into a wolf, like how Corvina can shift into a Raven.
And yea I get what u mean for the ppl of AāGrend, thx! Iāll have to keep that in mind.
Some of it is due to Riven working behind the scenes, along with Ederās presence creeping in, and the fact that the incident led to the death of Araās Grandmother. (And she was beloved, and a founder of AāGrend)
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebGREAT!! šš
So both the charries need each other in order to reach their goals.
Thorn is a determined archeologist, with a rich, fashionable background and a rare, top secret handicap.
Calvin is a historian and philosopher in the making – who, along with his family, has a dangerous relationship with the church.
Thorn needs Cal, because she’s essentially blind on the job, and he can take her hand and lead her along where she needs it.
Cal needs Thorn, because he’s working on a research project that could determine the future of his family. And Thorn has access in high places, where he can do what he needs to do.
One is extroverted, the other introverted. One depends strongly on her senses, the other on his intuition. Both are extremely physical with each other – punching, shoving, hugging, and just leaning toward each other on instinct.
Cal helps Thorn see the bigger picture, and achieve her goals while still being grounded in what matters most. Thorn helps Cal speak out his beliefs against the Synod itself, while taking care of his mental and bodily health.
Aaaand both are pretty cute, if I do say so myself š
So can Grimm’s entire family shift? How does he meet Lyn and Nyx?
You know your own story better than I do š š Glad I could help, and good luck!
āEverything is a mountainā
AHHHH I LOVE THEM!!
they remind me of my charries so much!!
different ones for different reasons.
Ara and November are also extremely physical with each other.
Lyn and Grimm are kinda that introvert/extravert couple in a way
and a lot of my couples need each other to achieve inner goals and outward goals.
Which is a good place to start.
Along with outward goals, maybe give the two of them an inner goal they help each other with eventually.
Also, a relationship will show both the strengths and flaws of a person, wether itās a romantic or platonic relationship.
From the sounds of things, they sound adorable and I love them.
Id suggest looking up ways to write a healthy relationship, as one of my biggest peeves is Toxic relationships in fiction.
and especially how to write good Christian relationships between young ppl.
One piece of advice is to allow it to grow at a natural pace. Donāt try to rush things. The characters might try to do that, but the actual feelings themself, donāt try to rush that.
Also, remember that ālove doesnāt fix all problemsā this probably isnāt an issue for u to worry about, but it is a thing some ppl do š where love is a magical cure all, and while I yes find myself loving that, itās not realistic and is a toxic mindset if we really think about it.
I myself am still learning how to write romantic subplots (or main plots) correctly myself, but these are some points to remember.
Also when dealing with young people you do have to be careful (and Iām not talking about obvious things lol) but Iām actually talking about not talked about things, like the fact that, a lot of times what is called Love isnāt Love.
Itās infatuation, āpuppy love,ā crushes, etc. itās not real love.
My November, it started with the āLove at first sight thing.ā But thatās not what it was really.
It was a dose of infatuation and puppy love.
It grows into a friendship and a crush, but does November really love her?
Whoās to say?
He sure thinks he does.
Truthfully?
Yes.
NovemberĀ doesĀ love her.
at the beginning of the first book, his crush is just that, a very real, very valid, HEAD OVER HEELS, crush, but by the end of it, itās crept into a bit more then that. And as the series continues? It grows and he loves her more and more.
Ara howeverā¦?
She loves November.
But in that way?
Not yet, no.
That has never even crossed her mind.
Yes, sheād do anything for him. But the passionate love that November has for her, she doesnāt have for him.
Not until later. Eventually, she begins to awaken to her feelings, and Novemberās, and develop a crush, but by this point November is deeply in love with her.
Needless to say, Where we thought Ara was done growing, she has a lot more room to grow when it comes to their relationship, whereas November needs to grow as an individual.
idk if any of that made any sense or if that was all just a convoluted mess but uhhh yea XD
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebOH also, yes Grimmās family could do that.
Sadly he doesnāt have any blood family leftā¦.
His people are still alive! Just not his family. And his people can shift into wolves too.
Theyāre like a clan (or large pack)
As for Lyn and Nyx, the two of them are traveling with November and Ara, and they meet Grimm and his rebellion (or just Grimm? Idk all the details yet XD) while traveling through his land. After finding out they arenāt enemies he takes them to at least get them more suitable winter clothes (cuz uhh they were not prepared XD)
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebTHX!! I love them too, or at least as much as someone can healthily love a pair of imaginary characters XD
I love how you mentioned the fact that sometimes love isn’t real love – and I also love how many times I used the word love in this sentence XDXD And the whole ‘love equals solution’ thing. There are so many messed up views when it comes to this.
And I especially dislike romance where the charries adore each other after only a few days or weeks. Unless the author acknowledges that it’s a shallow crush, it gives me a weird impression.
So I’m planning for the two to know each other for at least a year before feelings become something more <3
Thorn knew Cal’s dad, actually, before she became friends with his son. She studied under him in school, and he was a major father figure. Then, at some point, the Remi (plural of the name Remus, a family joke) take her in during the school year, as a sorta foreign exchange.
Cal’s mum is a great influence on her, too.
So Cal and Thorn spendĀ a lotĀ of time together, at least on missions and on weekends. School… not so much, since they specialize in different subjects.
It’s only when Thorn starts having huge problems with her sight, and Cal is threatened by the Synod, that they actually take refuge in each other.
Aaah November – it’s always the boy who falls head over heels, isn’t it? Poor lad, he needs a hug <3
So November’s like: Umm, I… Umm, I-I LIKE U
Ara be like: š
November: š³
Goooot it š I’ve always wanted to write a wolf-pack kind of thing, although you could say a couple charrie families are like that (I’m looking at you, Farrs XD). What kind of wolf is he? Classic gray?
āEverything is a mountainā
@whalekeeper basically he is! Like the dark grey with lighter gray mixed in? Not black but yea. I have a great pic but not currently on ma phone š
and ya ma poor boi š
Ara is just a sweet oblivious girl. Sheās adorable and she adores November, and itās not that she rejects him or isnāt open or doesnāt love him? Itās just theyāve beenĀ soĀ close that Araās already justā¦that close to him. XD.
like it would be easy for them to jump into that cuz she loves him with that kinda love, but she doesnāt realize it could be romantic? Idk does that make ANY sense??
like theyād both die for each other.
or kill for each other XD
like legit.
but Novemberās had a crush since he met her at age like 5 XD
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebYeah, so he’s had a lot of time to develop deeeeeper feelings…
KILL for each other?? …Idk what I think about that… XD
Y know, that gave me an idea… I feel like, generally, unless your main character is a teen girl in the contemporary school setting, the girls don’t get the uncontrollable crush first. Just not as often – and not with as much enthusiasm from the fandom.
And Thorn and Dogchild have known each other since she was just a toddler. It’s kind of the same situation as with Ara/November, in that they’ve known each other forever, and there was always a small possibility of something more, since Dogchild used to be a human. But they grew distant after Thorn began her career, and now there’s definitely a master/servant divide. And they are now officially not a thing, just brother/sister
āEverything is a mountainā
@freedomwriter76
What??? listen, girl, I donāt read fantasy XD The only fantasy Iāve read is The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe xD I can just never get around to reading itā¦ šš iām also not a huge fan of most portrayals of magic, soā¦yeaā¦
i read an old fantasy 4-book series but have since gotten rid of them, and idk what itās called anymore anyhow, lol
*sighsssssss* I get that. XD
I rolled the log over and underneath was a tiny little stick and I was like, "That log had a child
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@loopylin @esther-c @godlyfantasy12 @otherworldlyhistorian @folith-feolin @euodia-vision @whalekeeper @anyone-else-on-this-forum-lol-sorry-XD
Soooo…I have another question related to character deaths š
i know some character deaths are necessary, and the one I previously mentioned truly really is…
but…uhm…for another WIP there’s a character that I previously planned to kill…but…ahem…i really don’t want to let him go. his death plays into a later book somewhat and ends up leading to the redemption of another character and leads another character to finally forgive…but y’all, his death might be the hardest one yet š
it originally wasn’t so hard, but i’ve written him a lot more recently…and now it’s so much harder. and unlike the others, idk if his death isĀ completelyĀ necessary to the theme/plot of the book. idk…maybe i just don’t want to part with him š
any advice???
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i even see this Boi as one of my babies now…and now it’s so hard to get rid of him, y’all š
@freedomwriter76
Oh no!!! Another charrie death! š
Soā¦ I canāt believe I dare to ask thisā¦
But could you tell me who the charrie is and a little more detail of how this plays into the story? That might help me give you some advice. (And if you donāt want to tell me for spoilers sake, I totally understand. š )
Write what should not be forgotten. ā Isabel Allende
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i know…i know…šš
š¬š¬ welllllll….i’ve already spoiled it before, heh XD sooo…yea…i can spoil a bit
!!!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!
The character is Dietrich, one of The Bois’ stepbrother š
(the younger one; younger than Adolphus)
he dies after he’s saved…but he dies by throwing himself in the way of a pistol, when Hans hires someone to kill The Bois…and ends up sacrificing himself for his stepbrothers.
His death causes Jakob to begin to question his hatred and eventually leads to him deciding to forgive his family even tho they hurt him, bc Dietrich showed him that anyone can change and that hatred does nothing
and eventually, it plays into Adolphus’ story, as Adolphus feels guilty for not saying goodbye or apologizing to his younger brother, and it’s one of the factors in Adolphus later getting redeemed
but idk if the death is really needed…and now i love Dietrich so much that it’s really hard for me to part with himš
@freedomwriter76
Oh, okay.
Wellā¦ there is a way that you could go about this without killing him.
You could still have him take the shot for his stepbrothers, but have him get injured so badly, that heās close to death. So close thatās itās like, we donāt know if heās going to live or not. Obviously, youād keep him alive, but this could open up Jakobās eyes to see why he needs to forgive Dietrich.
But if you did that, it may be more difficult to play it into Adolphusās arc. I donāt know what the rest of your story is like, but maybe make it to where Adolphus doesnāt know that Dietrich survived. So he starts feeling that regret, and when he sees him again, (after Adolphus is redeemed) heāll be able to actually apologize to his younger brother. Iām not sure why or how Adolphus would not know that Dietrich survived, but itās just an idea.
Hope that was helpful!
Write what should not be forgotten. ā Isabel Allende
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