- This topic has 6 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 7 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
@gracie-j @rmarcher @issawriter7 @scripter-of-kingdoms @e-k-seaver @joy-caroline @devastate-lasting @anyone-I-missed
Sooo…..I finished the rewrite of my prologue in draft 2! Would y’all like to read it? I know some of you read the draft 1 version or whatever, but I do like this one better. It really gives off more of Corvina’s personality. So if u want to read it, here it is! If not, just skip this XD
Corvina
Death has always been a part of me.
I didn’t ask for it; quite the opposite actually. Despite my fervent pleading, it seems as though death will always remain. Wherever I go, no matter how far, it always catches up with me. Its presence is a constant cloud on my mind and body, affecting me in ways I’ll never be able to explain. The only comfort I can find is in my surroundings, and it is a small one.
At least I’m not alone in my battle with death, for it seems even the heavens weary. My heart leaps within my chest with every roll of thunder and the cold touch of raindrops on my skin feel like needles. I stare at the gray sky, ignoring the dampness on my cheeks. Lightning pounds against the earth but I refuse to flinch.
I won’t allow myself to be swayed by a mere storm. Far worse things await.
Sucking in a breath, I walk on. The cracked earth beneath makes walking difficult, but I manage. That is, until the ground beneath me shifts and my spirit plummets, as if my body is falling. The knots in my stomach tighten only to realize the ground hasn’t given way. Relief floods me, only to be followed by bitter disappointment.
A sigh escapes my lips as I regain my balance. Once again my wish to be rid of this worthless existence is refused. I should’ve known better. He would never allow that to happen. Not until he’s finished with me. It’s dreadfully ironic really; to be surrounded by death yet never able to die.
The wind wails through gnarled, withered trees, bringing the horrid smell of rotting flesh to my nostrils. My throat constricts with a choke and I wrinkle my nose. The question of where the smell is coming from surfaces but I quickly bury it deep into my subconscious. I don’t want to know.
Instead, I focus all attention on the task at hand. Standing straight with fists clenched, I ready myself for the decision I’m about to make.
Ha.
Decision.
As if I have a choice.
No, I was taught long ago that I have no control over any of this. I’m merely a puppet in a show of my Master’s making. A doll to be played with and then quickly disposed of afterwards. I swallow and the edges of my lips tug into a sly smile. To say the thought of being thrown out isn’t appealing would be a lie. To be rid of this torture called life is the only thing I have to look forward to. That wondrous day when I drift to sleep, never to awake. To be enveloped in complete silence of soul and spirit.
My smile grows at the thought but that delightful dream is quickly dashed when I remember where I stand. I exhale, knowing that, while that day will be grand, I have not reached it. I’m still of use to my Master and until I finish this quest I will never be granted my freedom.
I shake off the pit of anxiety forming in my stomach and extend a hand, as if waiting to receive a gift. Or give one.
“Master?” I inwardly scold myself for the timid tone of my voice and adjust my posture, hoping that might help. Clearing my throat, I speak louder. “Master?”
A sound floats on the wind. The hissing of a snake, that is the only way to describe it. It’s obnoxiously loud yet soft at the same time. I glance at my surroundings, already knowing that I’ll see no one. Not yet, anyway.
I tense, waiting for what follows that terrible sound. My palms begin to sweat but the rest of me is cold, to the point I’m shaking. At least, I want to say the cold is why I’m shaking, but I know too well that isn’t the full reason.
An image from years past comes to mind, and I wish could rid myself of it. Despite my trying, it’s forever inside of me. The day I first met my Master.
So small. So innocent. I chuckle at my own ignorance. How I’d ever been so foolish as a child I’ll never know. To think, I once wished for abundant life, and now I want nothing more then to end it.
The shadows that crept past me, laughing and mocking my childlike faith. My mother’s wicked grin and eyes that shone like gemstones. Blood, a crimson red and the earth-shattering shrieks that came from it’s owner.
I flush at the memory, shaking harder now then before. Why? Why does that memory still torment me? I’ve been able to move past everything else in my past, so why can’t I free myself from this one lingering memory.
“Because, my child, that isss the day you met me.”
I gasp, surprised by the delicate but sickening whisper enters my head. Looking around, I still see no one, but now my surroundings are covered in a thick black fog. In a second it engulfs me, leaving me wishing for any source of light. I claw at my throat as it begins to close off, suffocating me.
“My child….” My Master’s breath blows past my ear, and I dare not turn. It’s not as if I could see him anyway, nor would I want to. “At lassst you have come.”
“Y-Yes Master.” I swallow, wishing I hadn’t sounded so frightened. “I am here. I am ready.” Forcing my head up, I suck in a deep breath. Am I though?
“Good. Good,” he hisses. His voice is smooth. Calming. Tempting. But I know what hides behind his tone, and I won’t let myself be tricked. “The time hasss come. The Handmaiden will begin her journey sssoon.”
His words send a tremor through me and I drop my head, my ebony black hair veiling my face. I knew the time was drawing near, but I still wish it wasn’t so.
“You will go.” It’s an order, not a suggestion. He knows I can’t refuse. I’m merely being moved around and toyed with like a chess piece. He places wherever he wishes to do whatever he wishes, and I can say nothing about it.
I narrow my eyes and furrow my brows. How did I allow myself in this position? Why should I be punished like this, hmm? What have I really done? I purse my lips, tempted to open my mouth and argue.
“Ah!” I cry, feeling a sharp pain against my cheek, forcing my head away. An icy wind blows and I can feel anger resonating from the darkness around me. I grab at my face, wincing for fear of being hit again, that small spark of rebellion gone.
“You hesitate?” He growls. “I will not allow you to fail! Do you underssstand me?” I feel my chin pulled up and find myself face to face with a pair of glowing red eyes.
“Y-Yes Master! I-I’m sorry.” His eyes seem to stare through me and, for a moment, I feel like curling into a ball and crying like a child. Which makes me even angrier.
“YOU WILL KILL HER!” Master’s scream makes my ears ring and I know that, were I able to see myself, I’d be white as a sheet.
“Yes Master! I will! Please!” I pinch my eyes shut, unable to stand the glaring gaze. “Please….” I whimper. Any fight I had is trampled, leaving me no choice but to submit. The grip on my chin loosens, allowing me to look away.
“Tsk, tsk. My dear….” All anger has left his voice, leaving only that irritatingly gentle tone. Like nails on a chalkboard or the blaring of music, it drives me insane.
What feels like a hand brushes past the same cheek that was recently slapped, making me grimace. The contact chills me to the bone and I can only hope he doesn’t notice.
“Forgive me…..Master.” I force the last word through my teeth and bow my head in mock submission. I twitch, ready to either flee or fight. If I don’t do something soon I’m liable to pull my own hair out. The thick shadows around me are enough to drive anyone batty, much less someone forced to work for this….this tyrant.
I suck in a quick breath with pursed lips, knowing that Master has probably just heard every one of my thoughts. But as the darkness around me lifts and moves, I’m left to wonder if I’m mistaken. Did he really miss my rebellion?
Or is he just letting it slide?
Whatever the case, I should be grateful but I’m not. No, in fact I wish he had confronted me about it. Maybe then I could’ve worked up the courage to speak it aloud.
“Go.” Master’s voice booms through the earth as the swirling shadows disappear. All at once the thunder stops, as does the rain and all is silent. I swallow down the sick feeling in my stomach as his final instruction sinks in.
It’s time to go.
I lift my brows, waiting only a second to make sure there are no more instructions. Hearing none, I turn on my heels and depart. It takes everything in me not to run but I will not give Master the satisfaction of seeing me scurry away, tail tucked between my legs.
My hair stands on edge. I know he’s watching me, but I act as if I don’t have a care in the world. In fact, I turn my head and offer a smirk before continuing on my way.
That’ll show him! He’ll see how strong I am, one day.
Now, if only I could convince the tears streaming down my face of how strong I am. Not to worry though, they’ll all know soon enough. Once my mission is complete, everyone will know my name. Even in my death I will be renowned!
After all, don’t I deserve it? Don’t I deserve to have my name burned into the earth? It’s the least Master could do. Yet, I know, in my heart, that even if that were to happen he’d make it miserable for me. Ah, yes, he’d make sure that even in death I feel shame.
But would I care?
No!
Ha! Never!
Well….yes. But….dear….what am I supposed to do about it?
I suppose, for now, I just have to stick with my given title.
Corvina, servant to Eder, The Serpent.
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebOH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! Girl that was just mind blowing. 😱 Like I don’t even know what to say awesome!!!! <3 I was seriously on the edge of my seat the ENTIRE TIME!!!!!!!!!! The way you worded it is SO beautiful 😍 and I just felt like I was there. AMAZING!!!!!!!!! You have some serious talent, girl, and I can’t wait to see where this story goes!!!! <333 Plus those names are just GENIUS!!! LOOOVE IT SOOO MUCH!!! THANK YOUU FOR SHARING THIS WITH US!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333 😄
God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
TeenWritersNook.com@godlyfantasy12 I think it’s awesome! I am actually really interested in seeing where this story goes. I’m already wanting to learn about Corvina! Tell me more! Is she the puppeted villain? This is very well worded, I could see it clearly from her perspective. Keep it up! 😀
staring at the fields
if nothing's really real
i'll make the winter now my home- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@godlyfantasy12 BEAUTIFUL! I do like this better than the first version. I think it’s spectacular! Amazing job!!!
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1379
Wow, that was honestly so good I’m not sure what to say. You are so descriptive. I feel really bad for Corvina. You’re right, we do see her character a lot better and sympathize. (Even though it sounds like she’s the villain, right?)
The only thing I would recommend is to check the prologue for punctuation and grammar errors. That way you get it as clean as possible. Otherwise, it was amazing!
AHHH Thank you all SO VERY MUCH! And yes she is the Antagonist. I’m calling her that because the villain kinda behind the villain is her master so I just call her the antagonist. But I love how her character comes off as almost sarcastic but in a tiny bit of an eccentric way, to kinda hint at where her mind is.
and yes I’ll be editing it later but for now imma finish draft 2 I believe then go thru it and edit it grammar wise and then let my mom read it!
but thank y’all that makes me feel wonderful!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@writerlexi1216 @abigail-m I didn’t tag y’all!! Geez
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.