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@jadamae I saw in the comments to my story, Princess Tess and the Perfect Story, that you’d love to read the rest. Well, here you go. Enjoy!
Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess. Which is how all good princess stories should start. She was as gentle as a lamb, as graceful as a dove and as rich as, well, as rich as could be. She had hundreds of suitors and was madly in love with only one of them.
“No I’m not.”
“Excuse me, who are you?”
“I am the royal princess.”
“Well, I am the writer so I choose how the story goes.”
“Your story is sooo silly. Next you’ll be writing that the princess, that’s me, told her royal mama and her royal papa that she, that’s me, was going to marry that dashing fellow and then we, that’s the royal we, get married and live happily ever after.”
“Well, I was going to write something like that.”
“Exactly. Boring! I’m not in love with that silly fellow any more than he is in love with me. He just wants my wealth. I do not want to marry him and I will NOT marry him.”
“But you need to marry someone, Princess Quintessa.”
“Quintessa, ugh! Do not call me that ever again. Call me Tess. Now let me tell the story.
“But I…”
“Be quiet. I’m about to begin.”In a land far away, there lived a girl named Tess. She was a princess and wore grand clothes and lots of jewels. She had servants that hastened to obey her every command. But deep down she hated this life. Tess wanted to do something worthwhile. Something brave. She wanted to be… a knight.
“Hang on a minute! A knight! Do you really want to be a knight?”
“Yes I do. It would be much more fun than being a princess. But stop interrupting.”Tess had one very good friend. He was a commoner with a common name – Tom – a common job – blacksmith – and lots of common sense.
“A blacksmith! You’ve got to be joking! I like my story much better. Tom indeed.”
“Your story is for the silly people in this world. Mine is for the brave and great and sensible. Now, where was I…?”Now Tom could make anything in the world, well, anything as long as it was out of metal. So when Tess asked him to make a suit of armour, Tom did it gladly. And when Tess wanted a sword and shield, Tom made them too.
He melted down metal, molded it and then with the utmost care he plated them with the thinnest gold covering. It was the grandest suit of armour Tess had ever seen in the whole kingdom.“And where did the gold come from?”
“From all the gold coins I had.” replied Tess.
“Oh, you are destroying this story. It was going to have a competition for your hand. Those coins were going to be part of the prize for the knight who won your hand by completing the challenge set by the King.
“And what challenge is that?’
“All suitors must ride up the highest mountain in the land (which is conveniently near the castle), find a golden cup and ride back down to the King. First one back wins.
“What a stupid competition. All knights can ride so anyone could win that and then I’d have to marry him, whether I loved him or not!”
“I don’t care. Whether you write it or I do, you are going to be married by the end of this story. Stupid competition indeed! I’d like to see you do better.”
“Very well. I will,” said Tessa determinedly.The princess’s royal papa and royal mama wanted their daughter to marry a brave young man, so they sent out a royal decree which read:
On this Sunday coming up,
The one who gets the royal cup
Will have our daughter’s hand in marriage
And also have our royal carriage.They added the carriage on account of the mysterious shortage of gold coins.
Naturally hundreds of knights arrived at the castle the following Sunday. But oh, horror of horror, the princess said that she didn’t feel well and retired in a regal manner to her room.
Nevertheless the king came out onto the balcony and announced that the tournament was about to begin. To win, the knight had to…Climb the royal old oak tree
And grab the golden cup you see
Then come back down to the ground
With the royal cup you’ve found.“Hang on a minute! That is no better than my effort. The first knight will still win and it will be all over in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. And it’s too easy. Where’s the fun in that? No challenge at all.”
Tess raised her nose in the air.
“Papa must have changed his mind. Now stop interrupting.”The old oak tree, which the knights were to climb, stood beside the castle tower. One of the branches just happened to grow right to the bedroom window of a certain young princess. The princess had often climbed onto this limb, down the trunk and into the village to visit Tom.
Just then the trumpet sounded and the first knight began to climb the tree. Ordinarily it was not a hard tree to climb, but in heavy armour, climbing was a tedious business. At the top the knight looked about. There was no gold cup. He was frantic. He lifted the leaves around him, but to no avail. Discouraged, the first knight clambered down.
Knight after knight climbed that tree. Knight after knight searched everywhere. Knight after knight climbed down empty-handed. One knight climbed so high he got stuck and had to be rescued by the king’s royal gardeners. And another knight wore such heavy armour that he couldn’t even get off the ground.
Eventually, only one knight remained. Dressed in brilliant gold armour, the knight walked to the tree. He started to climb. But this knight did not go straight up. Instead, he climbed along a branch and… turned upside down.
Everyone on the ground watched in puzzlement. Was this going to be a competition without a winner? Was the princess to become an old maid?
With every eye on the crazy knight, nobody noticed the curtain in the room beside the tree moving.
After five minutes of fooling around, the knight began to climb up the tree again. Up and up and up he climbed, then down, down, down just like all the other knights had done before him. But this time it was different, for in his hand was the golden cup.
The knight reached the ground and bowed before the king.
The king was astounded. He wondered why this knight had succeeded in finding the cup when all the others had failed.
“Remove your helmet,” ordered the king.
The knight obeyed. A face emerged from under the helmet. It was a common face, with common coloured eyes, common coloured hair, and a very common, but familiar, grin.
It was Tom.“Tom! You can’t marry Tom! He’s a blacksmith.”
“He’s as brave as a knight. And besides he got the golden cup so I have to marry him. You said so yourself.”And so Tom and Tess were married. They gave back the carriage so that Tess’s parents could come and visit anytime, and thankfully the queen had another baby. A boy who loved being a prince, so Tess never had to rule over the land.
Tess and Tom lived a common life, in a common house, with common children, but they lived happily ever after. And every weekend, Tess would dress up in the golden suit of armour and go and do some knightly deeds. For that is how all good princess stories should end.Oh gracious that made me laugh. Very uncommon. Love it, Tessa!
This is a great story, @bluejay. Such a creative idea. The arguing between the author and Princess Tess is hilarious! Great job! 😀
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Thanks so much for posting it, Tessa! It’s a great example of turning a cliche on its head. Since the princess’s name is Tessa as well, is it an autobiography? 🙂
Love it! XD Great job!
I think I remember the beginning of this… did you send it in to KP critiques?@jadamae No, unfortunately I’m not a princess. I think she based on my feelings but really she’s not very much like me.
@writefury. Thank you. Yes, it was a KP critique awhile ago.
And thank you to @kate-flournoy and @gretald for your encouragement. 😀So…was there anything that people didn’t like about this story? (And I’m ready for whatever people have to say!!! 😛 )
@anna-brie have a read of this story and tell me what you think. I wrote it awhile ago (so I think I’ve improved, but…) I still love it though. 😛
I like it.
The only problem I had was that for a moment I thought some of the dialogue belonged inside the second story. I’ve since realized there isn’t any in that part, but it was slightly confusing. When Tess is telling the story, I think it ought to go inside quotation marks since she is speaking.
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