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So I’m laying out the foundation for another novel- novella and ran into some plot forks. I was hoping I could get some input… Here’s the basics.
In the future, five kids grew up in the same neighborhood together. They had unusual powers. Cass can turn invisible, Jax has telepathy, Kai has telekinesis, Raylee can manipulate water, and Ryder can electrify things. Each one has one parent missing. Jax is missing two. They were forbidden to show their powers, unless they went into the wild country, even though the peacekeepers forbade leaving the cities. They eventually lost contact with each other. Years later, Clo is worse. The peacekeepers are concerned only about power, and threaten to destroy anyone who might be able to challenge them. The teens bump into each other again and unfortunately for the teens, someone tips the peacekeepers off about their abilities. The head peacekeeper has been searching for the teens, pursuing them relentlessly, and they are forced to flee. The funny thing is that their powers seem to be going haywire. They were more or less under control when they were younger, but now Cass could randomly turn invisible, and Ryder could accidentally make lights flicker when he went under them. So now, all they have to do is find out why they are different, hide from the peacekeepers, and reverse the dystopian government. It’s harder than it sounds. *cue suspenseful music*
So that’s my basic premise. I don’t exactly want to make it magic-y, more like the powers are gifts. The dystopian government is set up so that it is not like normal dystopian novels. The people are allowed to pick their jobs, houses, husbands/wives, etc. There is just a whole bunch more rules. Only certain people are allowed outside the city confines. They must have approval from the government. The missing parents have a big part to do with it; I’m just not sure what yet. I don’t want to kill all of them. ( One will convert to the “dark side.”)
So please help me, What happened to the parents? Why are the powers looked down upon? What causes the teens to know that they might be able to change the government? (If they can at all…) And perhaps most importantly, would you read this book? (does it sound somewhat interesting?) Thanks a million! 🙂Maybe the fact that their parents are missing has something to with their powers being looked down upon? Maybe the parents were once part of some government experiment to create enhanced peacekeepers that shut down due to complications. Maybe the effects of that experiment affected the kids … or maybe the kids were the experiment and none of them have parents in the usual sense but foster parents in charge of keeping the politically incorrect experiment quiet.
Maybe the kids will soon be sought after as part of a secret rebellion’s special initiative to overthrow those in power.
I don’t know. There are lots of possibilities …
@overcomer, thanks, more to mull over. *sighs* I like the secret rebellion one… But then I still have to figure out the parents thing. Maybe they attempted something similar, but were imprisoned… But why would they have superpowers? *growls* I can’t sleep well when I’m thinking about plot ideas. (anyone else like that?) What do you think @bluejay, @dragon-snapper, @claire-c, @emma-flournoy (cause you seem to have good ideas, even if you aren’t a writer :P) and whoever else has an opinion…
First I have a question.
Why are both of Jaxes parents missing? Is he the main character? Is he more important than the others? Is he the key to unraveling a mystery, possibly the mystery of the missing parents?
Hmmm… maybe… what if the parents were working on something– a rebellion, secret lab project, whatever, and somehow something goes wrong. Maybe and accident, or the secret got out, but whatever the case the parents decide the best thing to do for the safety of their families is to leave.
Or maybe the missing parents have the exact same gifts as their children but maybe not as strong, or noticeable, and they were taken from their homes and put into a holding tank (for lack of better words). There the government is trying to figure out a few things: Are they a threat? Has this gift been passed on? Can we use them?
Going with that idea… Jax has two missing parents. What if only one was in the holding tank?? What if one of his parents, say his mother, escaped and is now a fugitive in the wild country? She could have done and/or found all sorts of things out there. Other people, more questions, more answers, or even nothing at all.
Ok, I’m not even sure that is helpful in anyway, but you may get a BING (and idea) from something I rambled on about 😉
Hey @jess, Here’s the deal. The #1 thing when brainstorming a story is to accept all ideas and then reject 80% of them. The reason why you have to reject 80% of them is because half are cliches and the other half won’t work. We live in a cliche-ridden world and we’re bound to copy them. But always remember that no idea is too crazy (even if it is cliche or if it completely destroys your original premise). Just a tip to help you not lose so much sleep.
Now here’re my random thoughts while reading your premise.
First, why do you need to add some stuff? Like is it important to the plot. Here are some things to think about. Is it important that the kids have no parents? Why can’t they go outside? Why are there even peacekeepers? Is it needed? Why do the teens need to have those specific powers? Is it just because they are cool powers or is it because they are essential to the plot. Do the powers have to go haywire? Do they have to meet each other outside the walls? You don’t need to answer these questions on the forum. Just think about them yourself.
I also want you to think like morally. ‘Cause even though having harsh rules is pretty bad, things would have to be super twisted in order to convince the reader that the teens have to overthrow the government. If the teens overthrow the government because they won’t allow them outside the walls among other things then the readers will think “Wow! These kids are spoiled brats.”
Now I’ll address your four questions.
The Parents:
My first thought was to not have the kids grow up together but instead grow up within the government walls. They would have been genetically modified since before birth. Their parents would be random people with super good genetics. That would erase the need to explain the parents’ disappearance and also explain their superpowers. (use the word gifts or abilities. It doesn’t sound so superheroey). I admit this idea is cliche (most of my ideas will be cliche), but hopefully you’ll use this as a springboard to come up with something better.The Powers:
If you want to go with your original idea for the kids (growing up together on the street) then I have an idea for the kids’ powers that I don’t want to tell you. I want to use it in my story so bye-bye!
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Just kidding. I’ll tell it to you. My idea is for there to be a history where almost everyone had superpowers. But because of everyone’s superpowers a world war broke out between just about everybody. Superpowered people vs other superpowered people. Normal people v superpowered people. And normal people vs normal people. And this is all because of superpowers. So the government had to kill the superpowered people because they were so bad. Now anyone with superpowers is killed. Also, a side-effect of the world war could be an epidemic that exists outside the city walls. Again this is slightly cliched. It’s slightly more original but still . . .The Government:
They kill superpowered people. It’s not ethical. Therefore, the teens must overthrow it. I don’t need to tell you what level of cliche this is. You already know.The Book:
Would I read this book? I don’t know. If I saw this book in the kindle store I’d probably give enough time to read the description and the reviews. But I’d approach it being a little apprehensive ’cause it seems a bit cliche. But you’re going to change it up right?Also, I gotta say that when I read the description of Divergent I thought it was super cliched. I ended up liking it a decent amount. I thought the description of Maze Runner was a little more original (but still cliched). I hated the book. So I guess that means that it’s not necessarily the concept, but also how you deliver. The writing. The plot. The characters. That’s where you succeed. Now, I do believe that premise is prime. But I’ve read many books and seen a lot of movies where the premise is great but the story didn’t deliver.
Remember that when people decide to read a book it’s based on premise. Whether or not they like the book when they finish depends on the story.
Here’s some things to remember at the end of this “epistle”
Premise is what makes the readers pick up the book. Plot is what keeps them reading. Character is what makes them pick up the book a second time.
Please tell me if this helps!
I blog on story and spiritual things at mkami.weebly.com
Sorry for the long post.
I blog on story and spiritual things at mkami.weebly.com
Shucks, @Jess. 😉
Maybe the parents got taken by the government because they went outside the city boundaries for some (important to them, but illegal nonetheless) reason?
And then perhaps the kids want to change the government because if it’s oppressive enough to imprison people simply for leaving a city (though the fact that those people are their parents could make them more impulsive, and maybe their ideas to change the government might be a LITTLE biased, so that could add some conflict), then it needs a bit of reform.
And maybe the government looks down on the powers because, that makes the people who have them SPECIAL!!!!!! And oh horrors, NO ONE should be more special than anyone else!!!!!!!!!
Or is that socialist, not dystopian…I think I might read this; it does look very interesting, though I’d have to be pretty sure that the book had promise of well done characters before I read it. 😀 Intricate characters are one of my top ‘requirements’ ( 😉 ) for reading a book.
I hope some of this helps you.
The book sounds interesting, though everyone has pretty much beat me to what I’d say… Experiments of some kind which are why the kids have the abilities they have. If you connect the abilities to one thing, that might be easier…have you read Michael Vey? The writing in some of the last books is awful, but the story itself is pretty good, especially in the first two books. There was some machine being tried out in the hospital while the kids were born and most of the kids born that week died. Those that survived have mental or physical powers which can be loosely (in a scifi way) connected with electricity.
Anyway, moving on. The missing parents are probably tied to whatever happened to the kids. Maybe they are helping with experiments, or they know too much and so are arrested.
As far as rebellion goes, since you already have a twist on the government, it would be cool if you twisted the overthrow as well. Make it a fairly peaceful overthrow, with peaceful assemblies that won’t back down and who force fair elections. This isn’t to say there might not be some fighting here and there, but even the army might come over to the people’s side and those in power just go home. 😉
INTJ - Inhumane. No-feelings. Terrible. Judgment and doom on everyone.
@jess
Perhaps the parents had powers as well and the children inherited those. When the government found out the parents had the power, they hunted them down just as they are doing with the kids.The powers could be looked down on simply because they are different from other people. They can destroy the government with them, and the government sees that as a threat they need to get rid of.
The teens may read some incriminating files on how the government has a weak spot, or they witness the government doing some things that should be illegal. No one stops the government, so they know they have to.
Would I read this book: I will definitely read this book!! I can’t wait!
The Dragon wishes you good luck!
☀ ☀ ☀ ENFP ☀ ☀ ☀
Wow, everyone. Thanks for all the ideas. I think I can come up with something…
Why are both of Jaxes parents missing? Is he the main character? Is he more important than the others? Is he the key to unraveling a mystery, possibly the mystery of the missing parents?
@anne-swiftblade, So I was thinking that one parent was switched over to the “dark side” and perhaps Jax would be later swayed by them later… But it was just a thought. He is not the main character. I haven’t decided, but probably Cass, the invisible girl will be.Thanks, @mark-kamibaya, those were some good questions, and I won’t answer all, but yes, their abilities are essential to the plot. I love your “Powers” idea! I thought of a good way to twist that up, so we’ll see… And I don’t mind long posts. Thanks for putting the time into responding! 🙂
@emma-flournoy, I was thinking that some of the kids didn’t like their gifts, and tried to never use them. At the end of the novel, they might start to realize they can do a lot of good with them. Or they start thinking that they are superior to the powerless people…
@hope, the peaceful thing might work for one scene… *gears start to turn*
@dragon-snapper, My sincere thanks for being wished luck by a dragon. Most dragons I know of want to kidnap me and eat me. You might have to wait awhile until it comes out 😛If anyone really hates the names, please let me know!
@jess Yes, most people say that leprechauns are good luck, but that’s a myth. Dragons are much luckier than leprechauns! And don’t worry, I only eat my enemies. 🙂
☀ ☀ ☀ ENFP ☀ ☀ ☀
@dragon-snapper Dragons are so much more cooler than leprechauns too!
@Jess, I don’t really HATE the names, though I don’t really like any of them. You asked. 😉
My favorite of the names is Jax, though; his name sounds like he’d be a nice character.
Also it’s kinda hard to tell which are male and which are female, if you don’t know.
@emma-flournoy, I liked Jax, so I’ll keep that. Do you by chance like Dalton (boy) or Hazel (girl)?
@jess: I think Hazel was used in the Percy Jackson books, but I might be wrong. I like the name Dalton a lot. Your book sounds amazing! Although, you don’t want the government in your book to end up like Syndrome (a.k.a. Buddy) from the Incredibles: killing off people with powers because they are jealous of their gifts. I like the idea of the kids being genetic experiments that went bad, and perhaps their parents abandoned them because they didn’t want to live with a kid who can electrifiy stuff/read their minds/turn invisible etc. and doesn’t know how to use their powers for the right stuff. Their powers getting out of control reminds me of Frozen, but since none of your characters can create ice palaces while singing an impromptu power ballad, I think you’re good. If you are willing to share your book for critiquing or enjoyment, I would love to read it! If you’re not, that’s okay. I understand. 🙂
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