Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › Need Alpha Readers!
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June 7, 2018 at 12:56 pm #74037
Heyo everybody! I’m going to tag those I know are still wandering around the empty halls of KP– @rochellaine @seekjustice @ariel-ashira @skredder @catwing @jenwriter17
Tag anyone else who might possibly be around. 😉
So, here’s the deal. I already posted this over at ST, but I’m not getting a lot of people on board(BECAUSE EVERYONE IS BUSY WITH OTHER NOVELS THAT ARE NO WHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS MINE) *cough* so I decided to post it over here as well and see if I can find a few peeps to chat with.
It’s a new serial story/future novel that I’m writing, called This Curse To Bear. The name might change in the future. Anyhow, here’s the blurb and a link. If you feel like Alpha Reading for me, that would be awesome. If not–you can still read it and get a sneak peak of the awesomeness to come.
Blurb:
Second Prince Kija Kaien Ereston of Iskra is cursed. All his life, he has stood in the shadows while his elder brother and heir to the throne, Kaorin, takes the spotlight and bears the glory. All his life, he’s been told by his father that one day, one day his mother would not be around to protect him and on that day the king would rid his palace of an abomination to the gods. Him.
In a land where magic and the fey are things of nightmares and the king has outlawed all use of the Gifts, being cursed was asking for a death sentence. And when Kija’s curse brings about his mother’s–the Queen’s–untimely death, King Kazuko Kaien seizes the chance to rid his kingdom once and for all of “sorcery”.
Kija is banished, scarred, and marked to forever wander the wastes of their brother country–harsh, outlaw-ridden Afiel. But when a chance at revenge and throne is presented to him, will he use his “curse” and take it?
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So, there’s the blurb. Sloppy blurb. But we hates writing blurbs so that’s the best you’re going to get. (Because seriously, how are you supposed to fit your entire book into three or four paragraphs? It doesn’t work.) Anyways, if you think that sounds interesting and you’ve got time to read stuff, comment, and offer advice, here’s the link to the first two chapters.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/16DWrPhWJcwlrG3d780DKufeZ8tAzh4qc3gO8w_4bKFg/edit?usp=sharing
*vader vibes*
June 7, 2018 at 1:24 pm #74041@sarah-anson ugh I hate refusing to alpha read cuz y’all’s books are always so good… But I’m finishing reading for Skredder at the moment. I have a long way to go and it’s taking me a while because I’ve been so busy. So I won’t be able to alpha read for you, I’m sorry 🙁 But I will read those two chapters if you want.
and who knows? maybe if I read Skredder’s in time I can get to yours too??? we’ll see 😉
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comJune 7, 2018 at 2:13 pm #74042June 7, 2018 at 3:05 pm #74043@sarah-anson Awesome! So, do you want us to leave comments in the doc?
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comJune 7, 2018 at 3:29 pm #74044June 7, 2018 at 8:24 pm #74050That blurb though…Its pretty amazing I think. And riveting. And I really want to read it, but I can’t.
Okay, so maybe I’ll just read the first two chapters…
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
June 7, 2018 at 9:49 pm #74051I don’t think I’ll be of much help but I’ve added a few comments! 🙂
June 8, 2018 at 12:48 am #74054No problem! Even if you don’t want to alpha read, feel free to read it for fun. I’d love to hear whether you liked it or not though… 😉
Oh, believe me, any help is help at this point! 😉
*vader vibes*
June 21, 2018 at 11:08 pm #74396Hey there everyone, I’m just stopping by to say chapter 3 is up! So if y’all lovely peeps would head over to my WIP and check it out(because I’m not afraid to say it, it’s awesome), I would love you and you can have some virtual chocolate.
*hands chocolate*
Have fun. 😉
*vader vibes*
June 22, 2018 at 2:08 am #74401OK I’ve put in some comments for chapter 3… though it seems to cut off abruptly.
June 22, 2018 at 10:49 am #74417@sarah-anson I might be able to read it later today. I’m hoping to be an editor when I graduate so this will be good practice. Is there anything in particular you want me look for?
June 22, 2018 at 11:45 am #74418Yes, that’s because my sibling *glares and breathes fire at said sibling* took my computer and DELETED PART OF THE CHAPTER. So I had to re-upload it after I already posted everything. Sorry about that. 🙁 And if you see part of chapter four on there as well, know that it is not all the way finished. I uploaded it and then saw a huge plot hole I had to fix. But the rest of that will be up shortly also. 😉
Oh, cool! I don’t think I could edit for a living(I mean, I can barely edit my own books without dying from the shear horribleness of them) but I would love to see all the unpublished books and know spoilers and the plot before they even come out…
Anyhow, what I’m looking for right now is feedback on the plot, the pacing, my lovely huggable charrie Kija, and all the red ink in the world on the grammar section. (I am a grammar Nazi, but even I miss things. So if you see some terrible woe to the art of grammar, tell me so I can fix it. XD)
So basically, any feedback is good feedback at this point. Go wild. 😉
*vader vibes*
June 22, 2018 at 4:59 pm #74428@sarah-anson I made some comments (I am Amy, btw). I really liked it. I thought the world building was really good, and I liked some of the tradition and culture you mentioned.
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