- This topic has 14 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 6 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
@freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12 @euodia-vision @kyronthearcanin @thearcaneaxiom @princesachronicle22 @lightoverdarkness6 (for when you come back. 😊) @keilah-h @mineralizedwritings @gwyndalf-the-wise @whalekeeper @felicity @anyone-else!
Alrighty, fellow Keepers… I’m really excited to introduce this new charrie to y’all. But I will warn you: There are some huge spoilers involved with this charrie. Read at your own risk!
Now that you have been warned, without further ado, I present to you:
Adrian!!
Now here’s the first big spoiler…
His last name is…
Len.
Yep, you heard me right. (Er, read it right) Adrian is related to Derek Len, the villain of the story. As a matter of fact, he’s Derek’s son. 😮
So let’s get into what Adrian’s like and who he really is. 😏
Adrian is like any typical seventeen year-old. He’s easygoing, confident, normally friendly, a daredevil, and often cocky. Except there’s two things he’s hiding… 1) He’s Derek Len’s son… 2) He’s the Ziton Soldier.
Ever since he was little, Adrian was trained by his father and the best soldiers in the military. Now, he’s more skilled than any of his father’s most experienced soldiers. But why all this training?
His father was preparing his son to become the Ziton Soldier.
The Ziton Soldier is a secret mercenary whose real identity is only known by Derek Len and his close circle of advisors and highly ranked generals. The Ziton Soldier is especially trained to carry out top secret government missions.
Adrian has done many missions before… after all, he is only trying to please his father. Because his father does love him… right?
But one mission is the hardest of all. He is assigned to join a group of insiders who are causing trouble across the country. Who claim they are trying to “change the world.” Adrian assumes it’s going to be an easy mission: gain their trust, learn their secrets, turn them in. Simple.
Yet it turns out to be not so simple when he meets them. At first, it’s all a show, his joining them and pretending he’s loyal. Then, it starts to become real. These people show him love and they show each other love. Maybe their goal is legit and maybe what their doing his worth it.
And one person makes it even harder to complete his mission…
Amidala Nadir.
Besides being beautiful on the outside, her heart is one of gold and he can’t help falling for her, to the great annoyance of her friend Everton.
He starts to think that maybe he should stay with them… help them, even. After all, he’s gained their trust.
But driven by the want of love and acceptance from his father, he finally completes his mission and turns them in. They are all hurt and crushed, but Ami the most. She trusted him! Maybe even… loved him…
Throughout the events of the trilogy and afterwards, he rethinks he decision. Maybe there is a chance that their trust can be reconciled…
Will he ever be able to earn their forgiveness and their trust back? Is there any hope for him? Who could truly love someone like him?
So there he is! I’m really excited to write him. He’s going to show up in the second book and hang with the group the whole time, until he betrays them at the climax.
Both his arc and his father’s arc carry over into the sequel, where they learn the power of forgiveness.
So what do y’all think?
I also am looking for tips to successfully pull off the plot twist of his betrayal. I really want the characters and the readers to get to know Adrian so well and to trust him so much, that they’re surprised when he turns out to be the Ziton Soldier. At first, it seems obvious that he is, but I’m hoping that I can write it in such a way that they believe he isn’t. (For example, he assists them when they’re running from the government. I might even have him get injured in trying to save someone else)
(Oh, and btw, the quotes in the forest and wolf pics are from a song called “Fragile Heart” by Leanna Crawford.)
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
@esther-c Adrian’s story arc sounds ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! I seriously love this idea and girl if you ever post the betrayal scene for us to see, I can promise you right now I will cry 😭. This sounds so good, you’ve mapped out how the character’s feelings and motivations are swayed first in one direction then the other. It feels very realistic.
Adrian has done many missions before… after all, he is only trying to please his father. Because his father does love him… right?
Ok this right here, THIS is what I want to see you flesh out and develop. Adrian’s inner conflict must be so strong, warring between his desire for a father’s approval and love (ooOOoOoO 😏) for Amidala and the rest. That may be the hardest part of the story to write, capturing that conflict and why one wins out over the other, but girl you have totally got this and I can’t wait to hear more!!
(Ahhh yes I recognized those lyrics right away! I actually just went to one of her concerts last night 😍)
I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
Oooh I love Adrian and his moodboard! 🤣 (I could totally be biased cause I love wolves but still XD)
Unfortunately, I’m not sure with the whole plot thing. I’m working on plotting stuff in my own books, and am more of a pantser, so… sry. 😅
Good luck with it, though! The whole Ziton Soldier idea is really cool, and I love what you’ve done so far. 🙂
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
Adrian’s story arc sounds ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! I seriously love this idea and girl if you ever post the betrayal scene for us to see, I can promise you right now I will cry 😭. This sounds so good, you’ve mapped out how the character’s feelings and motivations are swayed first in one direction then the other. It feels very realistic.
Thank you so much!!! 😄😊
I will probably cry too. 😭😂
Ok this right here, THIS is what I want to see you flesh out and develop. Adrian’s inner conflict must be so strong, warring between his desire for a father’s approval and love (ooOOoOoO 😏) for Amidala and the rest. That may be the hardest part of the story to write, capturing that conflict and why one wins out over the other, but girl you have totally got this and I can’t wait to hear more!!
Yesss, I’m so excited to write it!! 😁
(Ahhh yes I recognized those lyrics right away! I actually just went to one of her concerts last night 😍)
Oh my word, for real?! That’s AWESOME!!! 😆 How was it??
(Needless to say, Leanna Crawford is one of my favorite Christian singer/songwriters. 😜)
Oooh I love Adrian and his moodboard! 🤣 (I could totally be biased cause I love wolves but still XD)
Thanks!!! 😁 (Lol XD)
Unfortunately, I’m not sure with the whole plot thing. I’m working on plotting stuff in my own books, and am more of a pantser, so… sry. 😅
Yeah, you’re good. I’m a used-to-be pantser, so I get that. XD
Good luck with it, though! The whole Ziton Soldier idea is really cool, and I love what you’ve done so far. 🙂
Thank ya!
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
We’ll all cry together, let’s be real here 😭😂
Yes!! She’s one of my favorite artists too! It was AMAZING, her songs were so beautiful and she’s such a sweet person, we even got to meet her afterward since it was a smaller concert, not one of those big huge ones.
I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
Wow, Adrian is going to add a whole new level of tension and excitement to your trilogy! I feel really bad for Ami though!! She’s going to go through the wringer. How much are you going to develop interaction between Adrian and Everton?
He’s gonna be mad. 😉 And that could make for a really interesting mix of emotions for him at the end, because he’ll be sort of glad that Adrian betrayed them, because then Ami won’t like him anymore…maybe?Anyway, great character!
He must increase, but I must decrease.
AHHH I think Adrian is my newest favorite character
sorry Lukas! XDI second @starshineness ‘s suggestion, that’s the most conflicty part of the story (for him) and the most interesting part to focus on.
And the collage is great!
"...I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain..."
(Part of) Isaiah 45:19OH MY GOODNESS! I just love his character! And the story too! I’m so excited to read the rest of your WIP!!!! The Ziton Soldier is such a cool part for him, and crushing on Ami… I just love it all!!!
"does anyone have any good ideas?"
"Oh yeah, but none for this"We’ll all cry together, let’s be real here 😭😂
Lol, for real. XD
Yes!! She’s one of my favorite artists too! It was AMAZING, her songs were so beautiful and she’s such a sweet person, we even got to meet her afterward since it was a smaller concert, not one of those big huge ones.
Aw, that’s awesome!! 😊
Wow, Adrian is going to add a whole new level of tension and excitement to your trilogy! I feel really bad for Ami though!! She’s going to go through the wringer.
For sure!
I know! 😭
How much are you going to develop interaction between Adrian and Everton? He’s gonna be mad. 😉 And that could make for a really interesting mix of emotions for him at the end, because he’ll be sort of glad that Adrian betrayed them, because then Ami won’t like him anymore…maybe?
At first, Ev’s going to not want anything to do with him, because he keeps flirting/showing interest in Ami. After a while, he sort of accepts it (not entirely) and tolerates him. (Though he has to admit that Adrian has been a big help to the group.)
Yeah, that’s a good point. It’ll definitely be really interesting, that’s for sure. 😉 XD
(In the end though, Ami will notice that the one she really truly loves is Ev. In all honesty, I think Ami wanted to have a guy to pay attention to her in the way Adrian did, if you know what I mean, which is one reason she falls for him. Ev doesn’t understand that, and he’s too afraid to tell her his feelings straight out, because he doesn’t think it’s mutual. It’s clear though that both Ev and Ami need to mature more before they start a serious relationship beyond claiming to be “just friends.” When she eventually meets Adrian again in the sequel, [cuz I can’t just leave him unreedemed. XD], and everything is forgiven, they decide to stay friends. Also at that point, Ami and Ev will be either engaged or married. 🥰)
Anywho…
Sorry for the rant. 😂
Anyway, great character!
Thanks!! 😄
AHHH I think Adrian is my newest favorite character sorry Lukas! XD
Lol. He’s quickly moving up in rank on my list of fave charries… 😏😂
I second @starshineness ‘s suggestion, that’s the most conflicty part of the story (for him) and the most interesting part to focus on.
Ok, I’ll keep that in mind! 😄
And the collage is great!
Thanks!! 😊
OH MY GOODNESS! I just love his character! And the story too! I’m so excited to read the rest of your WIP!!!! The Ziton Soldier is such a cool part for him, and crushing on Ami… I just love it all!!!
Thank so much!!! 😊
If you want to read the first draft of the first book, Ember of Hope, then it’s on a forum called “My WIP!!!”. (At the time I made it, it didn’t have a name. XD) I’ll say, though, that as of now, the second draft is looking a lot better, lol, I just probably won’t post it all on here because that’s when I’ll have a few beta readers. (Ok… beta-readers as in my brother and my bestie. Nothing fancy. 😂)
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
@esther-c I’m liking this idea!! I’d love to hear more!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
At first, Ev’s going to not want anything to do with him, because he keeps flirting/showing interest in Ami. After a while, he sort of accepts it (not entirely) and tolerates him. (Though he has to admit that Adrian has been a big help to the group.)
I see, that’s gonna be fun to read!
(In the end though, Ami will notice that the one she really truly loves is Ev. In all honesty, I think Ami wanted to have a guy to pay attention to her in the way Adrian did, if you know what I mean, which is one reason she falls for him. Ev doesn’t understand that, and he’s too afraid to tell her his feelings straight out, because he doesn’t think it’s mutual. It’s clear though that both Ev and Ami need to mature more before they start a serious relationship beyond claiming to be “just friends.” When she eventually meets Adrian again in the sequel, [cuz I can’t just leave him unreedemed. XD], and everything is forgiven, they decide to stay friends. Also at that point, Ami and Ev will be either engaged or married. 🥰)
Oooo!! I’m glad Adrian gets a redemption arc. And I totally get the reason Ami falls for him. Yeah. 😉 Do Everton and Ami have a ship name?
Sorry for the rant. 😂
No problem! Keep going if you want, I like hearing about your story.
He must increase, but I must decrease.
Thanks, Keilah!! 😊
I see, that’s gonna be fun to read!
For sure! XD
Oooo!! I’m glad Adrian gets a redemption arc. And I totally get the reason Ami falls for him. Yeah. 😉 Do Everton and Ami have a ship name?
Me too. ☺️
Yep. 😉
Yes they dooo!! I call them Everdala. 🥰
No problem! Keep going if you want, I like hearing about your story.
Aw, thanks! 😄
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Awwwwww Esther I love this!!!!!! I agree with what everyone else was saying! I’d definitely make sure you flesh out Adrian’s inner conflict with his dad loving him and wanting to do things to please his dad. Make sure that’s very fleshed out.
I love, love, love the love triangle going on. XD A lot of these can be very cheesy but with the direction you’re taking it I think it’s going to be very good, and heartbreaking, but GOOD!😂
I rolled the log over and underneath was a tiny little stick and I was like, "That log had a child
Everdala! I love it. 🙂 <3
Thx! Me too. ☺️ XD
Awwwwww Esther I love this!!!!!! I agree with what everyone else was saying! I’d definitely make sure you flesh out Adrian’s inner conflict with his dad loving him and wanting to do things to please his dad. Make sure that’s very fleshed out.
Thanks so much!!! 😊
I’ll definitely do that. 🙂 👍
I love, love, love the love triangle going on. XD A lot of these can be very cheesy but with the direction you’re taking it I think it’s going to be very good, and heartbreaking, but GOOD!😂
Ikr?! Me too!! 😂
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.