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Awesome job, @kate-flournoy! Love it! 😀
I loved the rhythm throughout the whole thing. Really cool. 🙂Thanks @writefury. 😛
Bards sing depressing stuff sometimes… but yeah, funeral dirge would also fit really well.
"When enemies attack your kingdom you don't flee you show them why it's your kingdom. With your lightsaber."
@kate-flournoy , I was flattered that you tagged me in this poem-problem-thingy. I didn’t reply sooner because I was (still am) working on some ideas/suggestions for your last poem, and because when I saw the length of this one I panicked . . . but I will read it soon, and let you know what I think:)
Oh wow @overcomer, totally no rush— I’d no idea you were actually going to do an in depth evaluation of either poem. 😛 Not that it won’t be welcome— but you really didn’t have to if it was too much trouble. I was thinking you would just skim over it once and tell me your general opinion.
So… no pressure. 🙂Wow, though, I really appreciate you taking all this time thinking about how I can make my stuff better. That’s… wow. I really appreciate that.
Aw, you’re welcome, @kate-flournoy ! Thank you, I’m really enjoying it. It’s good practice for editing or evaluating my own poetry. 🙂
I hadn’t intended to do an “in-depth evaluation” originally, but I liked your poem so much, and I found that trying to collect my thoughts about it in a simple reply, especially with all the different versions, was too confusing.
Congratulations to you on writing a long poem! Not easy to do. 😀
Wow, @kate-flournoy !
The first version you showed us of this poem was a little confusing, but I could see the potential. However, each version you’ve posted since is even better than the last!
In this last one, at first read, I didn’t notice anything that stuck out to me, but If you’d like me to probe it if further and see if I can’t come up with some suggestions I will. I don’t know that I’ll find much, (if anything!) though. This last one is pretty good!
The message of your poem grows steadily clearer the more you work on it. I really like it now! 🙂 😀
It’s special, I can tell. 🙂
It’s special to me. 😉 Most of my works are, in some way.
And I’m perfectly satisfied with your word for it— after seeing how deeply you scrutinized my ‘Dawn’ poem, I know if nothing stuck out to you that needed fixing in this one it’s probably pretty close to how it needs to be. Thanks so much!- Rank: Loyal Sidekick
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*jaw drops* Wow, just wow. Amazing job. Did you say this was your first poem? I don’t really have anything to say about it other than that, sorry 🙂
Yep, pretty much my first. I’ve done a comic ditty here and there, but nothing I would call ‘real poetry’. 🙂 Glad you liked it @jadamae!
You’re welcome, @kate-flournoy 🙂 Thanks for sharing this! Seeing your poem change and grow better through your editing process has inspired me. Maybe some of my earlier poems could do with a facelift. 😉
Oh, @kate-flournoy , your “Dawn” poem is really, really good too. The only reason I scrutinized it so much is because you had awesome conflicting edits. I want to write poetry like you do. 🙂
@overcomer awwwww… all you guys’s overwhelmingly positive reaction has been so encouraging. Thanks so much. 😀
@kate-flournoy I just read your poem. Let me just say, you have an absolute masterpiece. I love the rhythm of the poem and the rhyming really adds to it, and the story told in the poem is so moving. Keep writing poetry, Kate; you have a gift. 🙂
*sniffle-sniffle* aw, thanks @gretald. *wipes eyes, blows nose* You guys are all so encouraging and supportive.
*takes deep breath, winks gently* So glad you liked it.
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