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Hi friends,
You may or may not know that show don’t tell is one of my favorite writing topics. The practical application of this is that I’m currently putting together an in-depth course to help people master the subject. Part 1 of this course is just about finished and ready for me to launch!
In preparation, I was wondering if you could take a look at my sales page and give me your thoughts. Does it look nice? Would it sell you?
Note, the countdown timer is set to a random date and the buttons don’t lead anywhere. Also, I’ll have real reviews on here when this goes live. 😉
@kate-flournoy @that_writer_girl_99 @lifeofkatie @josiahdeboer @catwing @daughteroftheking @dragon-snapper @jane-maree @graciegirl @emily🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1486
@daeus I clicked on the link and it says the page can’t be found. 🙁
@daeus I’m having the same problem as @winter-rose…😕
A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)
@daeus I got that the page couldn’t be found either.
@winter-rose @ingridrd @princessfoo Ah! My bad. Here, try again.
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@daeus – I like it a lot…my only suggestion is the color of the “Get Your Free Training Now” button. To me, it really contrasts and doesn’t really flow with the rest of the colors. In my personal opinion, it doesn’t look as professional as everything else. But, that’s just me. I’m not sure if it’s something you can change or not. Besides that, I love everything else! 😀
@daeus Oooooh, me likey! Though I would consider what @lifeofkatie said about the “Geat Your Free Training Now” button. It’s kinda…ugly. 😜 Other than that though, brilliant job! 🙂
A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)
Aaaaannnd it’s a good thing that you didn’t spell “Get” like “Geat” as I just did… *facedesk*
A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1486
@daeus My initial impression was like Katie’s. I liked the design, but the scribble arrows and the “get your free training” don’t seem as professional as the rest of the page, which I think is designed well. 🙂 I also feel like the video would be more personal if the first part of it, where you introduce yourself, was footage you talking to the camera. I know you probably can’t change it, which is fine. The voice over is well done. 🙂
(Also, when I open this form topic the voiceover starts playing on this page and I don’t know why XD)
Congratulations on getting ready to launch!
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1330
@daeus I love it! I agree about the yellow button. Also, the emojis at the very end aren’t very professional.
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1330
@daeus Oh, and the scribble arrows. I don’t think that that’s as bad as the other things though.
- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 859
@daeus That is so awesome! I agree with Katie about the button, but otherwise, it’s all spot on!
@Daeus personally the site strikes me as good but not eye-catching, this could be because I’m a little of a website snob, with having a web design and developer as a sister. 😛 My thoughts are:
– seconding what everyone’s said about the ‘get your free training now’ button being jarring and not professional or fitting with the rest of the design.
– on the ‘are you serious about your writing?’ you have a photo background and that instantly looks 1000% more interesting to me than just a plain, grey-ish blue banner. If you had an image on all the other headers it would be more eye-catching.
– Your colour scheme is a bit off. You have the grey-blue. The bright yellow of the button. And four other shades of blue on the one page. If you want more than one colour, it’s usually best to pick three base colours and have the page modelling off of them. for example, you might want a blue, green, and aqua page. Or a red, tan, and brown. There needs to be a theme in the colours though, otherwise (though they won’t know exactly what’s wrong) people will see the colours as jarring or unprofessional.
– I would suggest having the video not automatically start playing, because that is generally a big off-putter on websites (I’m speaking from a web designer’s sister’s view here. :P). It would also be better if the length of the video could be seen and the viewer could have the bar down the bottom of the video (like on a normal youtube video) so if they miss a section or wanted to listen to it again, they can just drag it back and do so without having to either just not hear it again or hear the entire thing again.
– Be careful of some of the phrasing in the video, because it struck me at first like you were modeling that you knew it all. Obviously, that’s not what you meant (and you specifically stated in the page text itself that you don’t know it all–I like that) it could come off to some people in that way and that could put them off doing the course because they might think you were a sort of ‘know it all’ person. (Which, again, I know you’re not. This is just a danger that might happen for someone else.)
Sorry about that extremely long comment. XD I hope it helped. Congrats on getting your course started!
Writing Heroes ♦ Writing Hope // janemareeauthor.com.au
@jane-maree @shannon @emily @winter-rose @ingridrd @lifeofkatie Thanks. I’m working on a revision. I’ll get back to you sooner or later. 😀
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@jane-maree @shannon @emily @winter-rose @ingridrd @lifeofkatie
Okay! How about this?
http://www.thescratchingquill.com/the-show-dont-tell-course/
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