Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Short Story Critiques › Just a Story Idea
- This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 4 months ago by Anatra.
-
AuthorPosts
-
August 20, 2021 at 12:58 am #103668
An idea popped into my head a while ago, so I decided to write the climax of the story.
“I am unstoppable!” The crazed man gestured to the army of robots behind him then let out an insane cackle. “The world will bow to James Alexander Herring. I’ll kill those who oppose me, and keep the rest as pets and slaves.”
Addison looked over at Kirk. How could he stay so calm? She was terrified and trying not to have a hysterical fit.
Apparently she wasn’t the only one to notice Kirk’s calm because at that moment James stomped over to him and poked him in the chest. “What are you so smug about? I could have you destroyed right now and all you do is grin!”
Kirk actually rolled his eyes and clapped three times. “Bravo, bravo. You think you figure out a way to conquer the world. Just that you thought something is pretty amazing.”
“Aahrrr!” James yelled and punched Kirk, knocking him to the ground. “You will beg, BEG! for your life! But I won’t listen to your pleads.
Kirk rubbed his head “Unless I decide to stop you.”
James froze, then let out a roar of laughter. Tears streamed from his eyes and he almost fell over. “You! You stop me! What are you going to do? Spit on my army!” James wiped his eyes. “Perhaps I’ll just keep you as a pet. Miss Addison do you also have a brilliant plan to stop my “attempt” to take over the world?
Addison didn’t know what to say. Luckily she didn’t have to stand there gaping long because Kirk cleared his throat.
“Actually I had a better idea than to just spit on them.” He reached into pocket, and pulled out what appeared to be a phone. Then he winked at James and pressed a button on the screen.
The evil mastermind jumped at Kirk to try and wrestle the device from him, but stopped when he noticed that nothing had happened.
“Ha, I know you couldn’t do anything.”
“Clang!”
Addison jerked her head around to stare at the army of robots. The first one on the right had fallen face first onto the concrete. Then like dominoes the other crashed onto the ground until there wasn’t a single one standing.
“EMPs,” said Kirk. “Got to love em.”
You will love what you spend time with.
August 20, 2021 at 9:42 pm #103698This was so fun to read! I laughed so many times. And I love how over the top the villain is haha.
What’s the premise of the novel?
August 21, 2021 at 1:09 pm #103710You have a group of agents (not sure which branch, possibly FIGs) they are looking into a company (Hurricane, Tornado, or something like that.) that’s is working for Vortex. They infiltrate the business, but get caught. In the end they eradicate the threat.
I also had some thoughts about put a little kid in the story. He was given the device that emitted the electromagnetic pulse because he wouldn’t likely be search for it. Originally he was the one who actually used the EMP, but I decided not to put him in.
You will love what you spend time with.
August 21, 2021 at 7:33 pm #103716August 23, 2021 at 11:25 am #103746wow I can totally see this as a Dwayne Johnson thriller from the early 2000’s XD
It was fun to read! I like the idea of putting a kid in there. And I can totally see the sarcastic comic relief coming from Kirk at times.
Also, took me a minute, but Morse code, 10/10
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.