- This topic has 9 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 2 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 692
Hey, guys! I’m finally going to share my Christmas short story. This was a gift given to my parents and they both loved it. This is basically a prequel to my WIP Sci-fi series. You can read it before and after though. 😉 It has 4 parts and is 4,548 words long. I hope y’all enjoy it! I don’t know who to tag so… sighs Here we go!
Summary 1st: Changes are in store for Jessica as she realizes that this will be her last Christmas at home with her family before she moves to Paradise City in realm 5. Can she make this her best Christmas yet or will her family spoil it for her?
Part 1. Home Life (2 months before Christmas)
“Jessica!? You’ll be late for school!” My mother’s stern voice called to me. I rubbed my eyes and held back tears. It always stung to hear her upset with me all the time. I felt like a burden and wished my older brother would let me move in with him, but I’m not an adult yet.
If only I was 18. I sighed to myself. I packed my bag for school and got ready for my day. I washed my tears away in the sink and then pasted a smile on my face. My mom didn’t smile back and my own smile faded. I stared at the floor.
Here we go, I thought, Another lecture’s coming! I got an average of 5 a day. More when I wasn’t at school. Surprisingly though, all she said was to sit down and eat my breakfast. I let myself relax a little. Dad smiled as I sat down. I think I might be his favorite child, I joked in my head. I laughed to myself.
“I have some news,” dad said. I flinched and I knew we were in trouble. Whenever dad said that it was usually bad news. In fact, the last time he said that, my older sister, my best friend, moved to another realm to go to college far away that I couldn’t visit.
“Oh!?” I replied trying to sound happy and interested but my voice gave me away when I squeaked.
“Why do you act upset? This is exciting news,”
“Well… you said the same thing the Fall before last.”
“Oh, you mean when Bree left?”
“Yeah,” I answered putting my head down on the table.
“Well, you should hopefully like this news. We’re allowing you to go to Paradise City on your own.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure how to respond to this news. Should I feel happy, sad, indifferent? Dad noticed my short response and tried to help me feel better by telling me all the benefits of going there. I interrupted him, “Dad, I get it. I’m just trying to process this news.”
“Don’t interrupt me, young lady!” He snapped harshly at me.
“I’m sorry, dad.” I grew quiet.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you too.”
We had an awkward moment of silence. Finally, dad looked up and smiled, “You have the Nutcracker Ballet tryouts today, don’t you?”
“Yes! I can’t wait! I’m finally part of the senior class.” The junior class was for 3–10-year-olds, while the senior class was for 11–18-year-olds. I was finally 11 this year!
Part 2. Dancing With the Fairies (2 months before Christmas)
I got to school practically floating. I got to tryouts early enough to practice. I wanted to be the head sugarplum fairy so I pictured the music in my head. First, I had to stretch. I spent the entire time it took for the 1st tryout, which lasted about 10 minutes. The girl was going for the main role. She was 15.
I was 4th in line. I practiced my routine while the second girl went for the lead flower in the Waltz of the Flowers. I got swept into the music and heard some older girls laughing at me. I ignored them and kept on practicing. The 3rd tryout was a teen boy. He was going for the lead Nutcracker role. I was 4th in line. My nerves started coming during his tryout. I was up next! I shifted from foot to foot.
Finally, I heard my name, “Jessica Jameson?” As soon as the music started up, my nerves went away and for 5 minutes I danced and got swept away in the music again! At the end 2 of the judges gave me a standing ovation. The other judge just glared and didn’t clap at all. I hoped she wouldn’t be teaching my class. I had heard that each judge would be teaching a different class, depending on what role you got. The woman who clapped smiled broadly and said, “I must talk to the other judges but you did amazing!” I liked her right away and hoped she would be teaching my class.
I couldn’t even believe it! ‘I’ got a standing ovation!? I must be dreaming. My best friend was next, “That was awesome! You’re definitely a shoe-in for the role!” We exchanged grins and I practically danced off stage! I watched hers and my brother’s tryouts, then we walked out together. My brother was 15 and a sophomore. My best friend and I were 12 and in 6th grade. Her name was Penny.
She pushed her backpack onto her shoulder and we walked to the girls’ locker room to change. My brother headed towards the boys’ locker room. Why my brother enjoys ballet, I have no idea and will probably never know. We talked in the girls’ locker room for a while. We had an hour of time to kill. After we changed and talked for about 45 minutes, we met my brother and walked to the bulletin board where the casting results would be posted. We sat and talked for 10 minutes while we waited.
Finally, the judges came out. The man posted the results, “Attention students! Line up, please! The 1st girl who tried out will be 1st in line and the last boy who tried out will be last in line. Once you see your name, look at what role and the class number/letter room you’ll be in. Thank you!” The students clamored. “Line up calmly!” He shouted above the noise.
Sandy Brown was 1st. She looked excited but I saw her take one look and her countenance change. It looked like she was crying. Her best friend was second in line. She took a quick look and then ran after Sandy. The boy ahead of me looked, gave a half-smile and left.
I stared at where my name should be and saw it said: Sandy Brown. Confused, I looked through the list of ballet dancers in that dance, but my name was nowhere to be seen. I looked up the list and right at the top my name was listed after the main girl’s part. I went into shock and almost forgot to look at the classroom letter/number. I stepped to the side to let Penny look.
She scanned the whole list before squealing at me. I pulled her out of the way so my brother could look. She started jumping around. “My best friend is the lead role in the Nutcracker!” She practically yelled in my ear. I laughed at her enthusiasm but felt bad for Sandy. I didn’t even want the main role. I mean, I thought it was cool that an 11-year-old got the main role in the senior class but I didn’t want the huge responsibility I’d have to make. Maybe I could trade roles with Sandy. Although, I wasn’t sure the judges would go for it. Jason (my brother) came over to us grinning, “Guess who’s going to be in the other main role?” He asked in a sing-songy voice. I slapped my face. I hadn’t even looked to see what roles Penny and Jason would be in. “Someone we all know and love!” He teased us.
“Ooh! John Poole?” Penny teased back referring to the boy who had been ahead of us in line.
Jason pretended to be annoyed, “No! Me.”
“Oh yes! Jason’s going to do great!” One of Jason’s friends came over. He was into ballet too.
“What role is he in then?” I asked.
Jason grinned, “My adversary, the mouse.”
“I’m supposed to play your father, Jess, and a soldier mouse,” My brother’s friend (Jerry) told me.
“Hmmm… well that should be interesting.” I laughed.
Part 3. Practice, Practice, Practice! (October and November)
The next day, we started rehearsals, and just as I feared the unhappy judge was my ballet teacher. “What’s your room number?” She asked while glaring at me. She reminded me of my mom.
“Uh…” I paused trying to remember. “C1.” I was hesitant. Unsure whether I had gotten it right or not.
“You’re with me then.” I followed her, keeping my head down.
“Uh… ma’am?” She turned and raised her eyebrows at me, waiting for my question. “I was hoping to switch roles with someone else.”
She was quick with her response, “No, absolutely not! It would put me in a sticky situation and wouldn’t be fair to the other kids.”
“I didn’t think so, but I thought it was worth asking.” As I suspected, Nancy Worth, or Mrs. Worth as we were told to call her, was strict. It was really hard to please her but if you did, you felt so good!
We were given certain exercises and routines to practice at home. Soon I fell into a routine. Monday-Friday: school, rehearsal, homework, dinner, chores, 1 hour of practice before bed, and reading until I fall asleep. Saturday: Sleep-in, chores once I’m up, 30-minute practice, out with friends until curfew, 30-minute practice before bed, read until I fall asleep. Sunday: Church, 30-minute practice once I got home, out with friends until curfew again, 30-minute practice before bed, read until I fall asleep.
The days went by and soon my least favorite day came: Halloween. That day always gave me the creeps. Penny didn’t celebrate it either so I went to her house to watch a movie. After I got there, a girl I knew at school (her name was Sondra) texted me. ‘Hey, best friend!’ I cringed. She still thought of me as her best friend? ‘Want to hang out? I know you don’t celebrate Halloween and I don’t either. At least not anymore.’
I showed Penny the message. “Invite her over!” She responded.
“Really?!”
“Of course! We’re about to start a movie so you might as well.”
I smiled and winked at her. ‘Hey!’ I texted back. ‘Sure! You can come on over to Penny’s house. We’re about to start the movie ‘The Ring’’
‘Ooh!’ She responded. ‘I haven’t seen that yet! I heard it’s the 1st in a series and that it’s really good. Penny? Penny Carr?’
‘Yes! Why?’ I wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad. I really didn’t need more drama in my life. Especially since she was a drama queen. She didn’t respond. We waited 20 minutes for her. Finally, we decided to start the movie and just 2 minutes later the doorbell rang. It was Sondra. She made it just in time for the movie. We invited her in and gave her a bowl of popcorn. She smiled and took it gratefully. She took a seat on 1 end of the sofa. I sat on the other side and Penny sat on the reclining chair. She shoved a couple of footrests our way so we could recline too.
“I forgot. What genre is this in?” Sondra glanced at us.
“What’s a genre?” I asked.
“You don’t know what a genre is?!?” Penny and Sondra asked in unison.
“Uh, no. How do you guys even know that word?”
“Novel writing,” Penny winked at me.
“Same here!” Sondra exclaimed excitedly.
“Wait. Really? You too!?”
“Yes!” They both got excited and started talking about their WIP’s*. Whatever that means, I thought. I was starting to feel like a 3rd wheel when they finally realized I was there too, and I didn’t enjoy writing. Penny turned to me, “I’m sorry, Jessi, I forgot that you don’t write.” I gave her a twisted mouth look. “We gotta find common ground with each other.” She said.
I thought about that for a minute. Sondra didn’t do ballet and Penny didn’t like drama. It took me a minute but then I thought of something. “You guys like to crochet, don’t you?”
“Yeah!” I could tell that Sondra was excited.
Penny was more hesitant, “Sure…”
“Why are you hesitating, Penny?” I asked her, concerned.
“Well, I’m just not very good at it. I enjoy doing it but the results never turn out right.”
“It doesn’t have to be amazing work you know.” I grinned at her
“I know. I have a perfectionist’s personality though.”
“Well, you know what they say (particularly Mrs. Worth) ‘practice makes perfect!’ I laughed and she chuckled softly.
“Ok,” She finally said. “I’ll go get my supplies out of my room. I usually ‘practice’ in front of a movie,” she winked and ran to go get her stuff. Knowing her, she would be a while since her room was always a mess and she couldn’t find anything in there without cleaning it up a little.
“Me too!” Sondra pulled supplies out of her giant backpack.
“Isn’t that heavy?”
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
“Well, you have a strong back then.” I pulled my own supplies out of my very full but significantly smaller backpack.
“That looks heavy too,” She pointed out.
“Definitely not as much as yours!” I giggled at her.
“Touché.”
“What do you keep in there anyway?”
“My school books and anything else I need.”
“Oh.” Sondra was in a poorer family. Her shoes, clothes and backpack were all hand-me-downs. Her shoes were being held together by duct tape and her clothes and backpack were patched up in the spots where they had gotten ripped. If I hadn’t bought the crotchet set for her, she wouldn’t have been able to afford it. Penny had gotten her the cellphone Now I wished I had bought her new clothes or shoes, or even a new backpack. She was happy and thankful for what she got though. I could tell. And now that she knew how to crochet, perhaps she could make herself new clothes. “What are you working on?”
“A scarf for my mom for Christmas.” Good old Sondra! Always thinking of others. I smiled slightly.
“How come you didn’t respond to my text?”
“Oh, sorry. I packed up my stuff to leave and then my mom gave me a few things to do. I totally forgot to respond.”
I nodded, “It’s fine. I was just worried about you. Why were you surprised that I was with Penny?”
“I wasn’t surprised so much as trying to figure out which Penny you were talking about. There are two Penny’s at our school, you know.” She winked at me and I facepalmed. Of course! I had forgotten about Penny Smith. She was newer. This was her 1st year at our school. I didn’t even know who her yet.
Penny came back. ‘I guess now’s as good a time as any other,’ I thought. “So, guys. Um… I’m moving away.”
“What!?” Sondra’s eyes widened.
“Leaving!? What do you mean?
“My parents are letting me go to Paradise City on January 7th.” I didn’t have to tell them what realm because they knew right away.
“That’s too soon!” Penny cried. I hid my face so I wouldn’t have to see their tears. I knew I would start crying if I saw them.
“You can’t move away!” Sondra held back her tears.
“I understand why you want to move away though.” They both knew how hard my family life was. I got up and hugged both of them, “I’m going to miss you both.” I wiped the tears that were starting to flow. “Let’s spend the time we have now together.” I started the movie and I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening with them.
***
November went by fast too! My older siblings came back early from college. They both worked overtime on their work so they could come from the Saturday before Thanksgiving all the way until the Monday after New Year’s Day (November 20-January 3rd). That was 6 whole weeks! They both arrived at dinnertime.
After we said the prayer, my brother took a bite and looked at me, “So…” He began with his mouth full. He gulped hard to swallow his food. “We heard you’re going to realm 5.” I swallowed hard. I was really going to miss my brother and sister. It was hard enough for them to go back and forth between realm 3 and 4 but realm 5 was much worse. You had to pay $100 on top of how much it cost to travel there every time you went back and forth from that realm.
I finally responded my voice almost breaking, “Yes, I am.”
My sister patted my arm, “We’re going to miss you a lot.” I bit my lip to keep from crying. That was happening a lot lately. I had put myself between my older brother and sister purposefully when I set the table earlier but now, I wished I hadn’t.
I decided to change the subject before I started crying, “You guys will be here for my performance! Will you be able to come?” I looked back and forth between my siblings.
“Of course!” My sister smiled broadly at me. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”
I glanced at my brother, “I will try but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it.” I gave him my saddest puppy dog eyes. “Of course, I’ll be there!” He grinned at me. I smirked back at him. He was a jokester. Always had been.
Part 4. Holiday flops (November 26)
We started our 10th (my 7th) annual family Christmas tradition. The day after Thanksgiving we wrote our names on slips of paper and mixed them up in a hat. Then we drew names for our Christmas gift exchange. Mom always had a theme. It was different every year. This year she picked a random letter of the alphabet: J. We all had to buy or make something that started with the letter J. The name drawing had always gone from youngest-oldest; however, this year mom changed it too oldest-youngest.
Dad went 1st (46 years old), then mom (42), Josh (22), Brianna (20), Jason (15), me (12), the 10-year-old twins Jeremiah and Olivia, Jack (8), Sophia (6 almost 7) and finally Jacob (5). All in all, I have 8 siblings.
I drew Brianna’s name! I could hardly contain my excitement. I promised myself that I would give her the best present ever! She loved jewelry! I remembered hearing her lament to mom about how she wished she had a jewelry box to put it all in. I’d have to personalize it to make it special but I could easily do that.
After everyone finished drawing names, we all went our separate ways. I went to get my piggybank so I could count how much money I had. I was a saver and in the last 9 years I had saved $50. I definitely wouldn’t need that much to get her a really nice jewelry box. I decided to do some window shopping at the local jewelry store and invited Penny to come along with me. Since she’s not in our gift exchange, she’s allowed to help me out and know who I got. As long as she didn’t tell any of my family members, that is.
The very 1st box I saw was beautiful! It had tiny little humming birds, flowers and butterflies all over it. My sister absolutely loves all those things! It even had a small lock and key. I pointed it out to Penny. She suggested we go into the store and take a closer look at it and the pricetag. We walked in and I picked it up, “It can’t cost more than…” I stopped short. “60 bucks!” I exclaimed. Penny gasped. Thankfully, nobody heard or paid attention to us.
“No way! That can’t be right!”
“Well, just look.” I handed her the box.
She took it, glanced at the price tag, and shook her head, “No. There’s no way you can and should pay that much, Jessi.” Only her and my dad called me that. It was a term of endearment for me from both of them. Penny had come up with it and my dad heard her call me that. He liked the nickname so much that he started calling me that too.
“I know, I know. Let me talk to the owner. Maybe I can get him to lower the price for me.” She agreed and we walked over. My bravery started fading away when I saw him. He was working on fixing a broken watch and had his back turned to us. “Looks like he’s busy,” I tugged on Penny’s arm. “Let’s go look at other boxes instead.”
“Oh no you don’t.” She pulled me back over. She cleared her throat at him.
He turned, “Oh, hello girls!” He sounded like he came from realm 2 when he spoke. They all had nasally voices. “How can I help you?” People from realm 2 sounded funny but they were very friendly.
“I’d like to buy this box,” I showed it to him. “But I’m afraid it’s a little outside my price range.”
“Oh, that’s no problem. I can lower the price for you but you’ll have to work for me to make up the difference. How low were you thinking?”
“Um, $10. So, I would pay $50.”
“I can do that but you’ll have to work for me for 10 hours between now and Christmas to make up the cost. Then I’ll give you the box.”
Penny pulled me aside, “You won’t have any money leftover for personalized stuff.”
“That’s okay. I have plenty of materials to do personalized homemade stuff at home.” I turned to the owner, “It’s a deal, sir!”
***
(December 10th)
As the weeks passed by, I soon finished helping the shop owner Mr. Cook and got to take the jewelry box home. One day, 5 days before Christmas, I decided to decorate Brianna’s Christmas present. I pulled it out from under my bed to find that someone had gotten to it and scribbled all over it. I started crying. I decided just to wrap it the way it was. All that money and time wasted! I knew Mr. Cook wouldn’t take it back. You could barely see the painted decorations on it now. I showed Penny, “There goes Brianna’s best and perfect Christmas present.
“I’m sure she won’t care.”
“On the outside maybe but on the inside, she’ll be disappointed, I know it.” I still had my performance which would be perfect! I had practiced for months so I knew I would do great!
***
(December 15)
That night, I nervously got ready. “You’re going to do great!” Penny reassured me. My confidence had deflated a few hours earlier (during dress rehearsal). I tried to stop my whole body from shaking but it was no use. My body shook all the way through but I was able to keep my balance throughout the entire thing. In fact, the ballet went wonderfully until the last scene. It was almost over when, in my shakiness, I fumbled a move and fell off the stage. I hit my head on the cement ground and everything went black.
I was rushed to the hospital and found out, when I awoke, that I had a severe concussion and a broken leg. Not exactly what anyone, but especially an 11-year-old girl wants to hear around Christmas time. The doctor ordered that I stay in a darkroom for 2 weeks. No one would be allowed to be around me unless they brought my meals. I moved into the guestroom where Josh slept. He would move to the living room to sleep.
I wasn’t allowed to do anything except eat and sleep. I got bored quickly but whenever my head started hurting, I was fine not doing anything. It hurt the worst whenever I heard people talking. My dad brought my meals and quickly learned not to talk around me. I had to take painkillers frequently. They helped at mealtimes and at night. I asked my sister to text Penny for me so she wouldn’t be too worried and know what was going on.
***
(December 30th)
My family put their Christmas celebration on hold for me. We had our Christmas Eve celebration on December 30th. I hobbled on my crutches down to the living room. The doctor said he could take my cast off in 3 weeks (January 5th). I still had headaches each day but all I would need is 1 painkiller and I’d be fine for the rest of the day. Dad gave his gift 1st. He drew mom and got her some strawberry jam. She loved that and a 4 pack was on sale! Mom was next. She drew Jacob. He was fascinated by jellyfish and loved stuffed animals, so mom got him a stuffed jellyfish. Josh was 3rd. He had drawn my name and heard that my jump rope broke over the past summer. He got me a new one that was high quality. Bree had drawn Jack’s name and got him a ‘Jack-in-the-box’ to go with his name. He tried it out and giggled every time it popped. Finally, it was my turn. Bree unwrapped the box and smiled, “It’s beautiful, Jess!”
“I’m sorry it’s been scribbled on. I don’t know who did it,” I looked accusatorily at each of my siblings. Jack gave me a guilty smile and I raised my eyebrow at him.
“I’m sorry, Jess, I was the one who did it,” He finally admitted. I put my arm around him and gave him a small, sad smile. He had never admitted to stuff like this especially in front of everyone.
I was surprised and finally responded, “I forgive you.” His bravery inspired others to admit wrong doings to each other.
My mom even apologized to me and promised to do better, “You haven’t lied to me before but your siblings have. I’ll start looking into both sides of the story when your siblings tattle on you before I start accusing you.” I was very shocked and grateful. The rest of the exchanges finished and soon it was time for our candle light Christmas dinner tradition. Halfway through, Jacob accidently knocked over the candle setting our house on fire.
I couldn’t move out of the house fast enough so dad had to pull me out. Soon our smoke alarms started blaring and it faded into my alarm clock. I awoke with a start and shook my head. That was a very vivid and real-feeling dream. ‘Imagine a 12-year-old getting picked out of all the teenagers as the main role in a ballet. Or me getting a standing ovation,’ I laughed to myself. ‘Or my older siblings being able to come for the Holidays. Or even my mom apologizing to me.’ My whole family was pretty stubborn and probably always will be. I knew the rest of my dream could possibly come true and I shuddered as I quickly got dressed for school.
***
That afternoon, I had my tryout. When the results were posted, I looked at the list. Listed after the girl main character was: Jessica Jameson. I fainted!
The End
- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 692
Sorry it’s so long. If anyone has any problem reading it. Let me know. I can divide it into 4 comments (for each of the 4 parts 😉).
@sarafini
I loved it!! Great job :). Oh poor Jessica!! She broke her leg before the play 😢!? Are you going to write another short story continuing it? Or does your book continue it? I like Penny! She seems like a really good friend.
Okay, now for a couple of critiques. When her brother tells her that he was the one that scribbled on her jewelry box, does he have a reason that he did it? Did something happen that made him want to get her back somehow?
I don’t know what her brother’s personality is, but I know my brother wouldn’t say sorry in front of a lot of people. It might be more realistic for him to look down, ashamed, and then maybe later he could come to her room and say sorry. Or not. Whatever you think is best for your story 😊.
Another thing I noticed is when she falls off the stage. It was kind of abrupt. To make it not as abrupt, you could write that part with more detail, like her feelings and how she danced, and then make it happen, if that makes sense.
Okay, that’s all I’ve got for now. I hope it helped! I’m always really nervous on critiquing peoples writing because I’m afraid that I’m going to say something wrong, or not be helpful, or hurt someones feelings. That’s why it took me so long to read it and critique it. I’m sorry that I took so long! I hope I helped at least a little. 🙂
#HugRikerSquad
- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 692
@lightoverdarkness6 I totally get that. You shouldn’t worry too much. 😊❤️ I don’t care. You’re totally fine. Those critiques would make perfect sense except for the fact that it’s all a dream. So I made things a little wacky and abrupt on purpose. And yeah I’ll probably write another one. My mom wants me to so I’ll probably do one for her birthday in October.
@sarafini
Thank you so much 😊❤️😊❤️
Ohhh!! Okay! Yeah, it makes so much more sense now!! I didn’t realize that it was all a dream 😅 😂 🤦
Okay! Yay! I really enjoyed reading it, so I can’t wait for the next one. 🙂
#HugRikerSquad
- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 692
Aw, great! Thanks. My parents are excited too. Lol. I will tag you if you want when I finish the next one. 😁
@sarafini
You’re so welcome!! Yes please! Tag me! 😊😁
#HugRikerSquad
@sarafini
Do you want critiques, or would you like me to tell you only what I enjoyed about it?
(I’m fine either way, just want to know what you’re looking for)
"...I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain..."
(Part of) Isaiah 45:19- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 692
I’d love to know both. 😉😊
@sarafini
One thing I noticed was that it was really hard to tell that it was a dream. If you weren’t looking close enough, you would have missed it. So since it’s a dream, you might want to make it more obvious. But I liked your story! It was good!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.