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  • #184584
    Evelyn collins
    @evelyn-collins
      • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
      • Total Posts: 118

      Heyyyy!!! soooo I just recently got back to my Star Wars fanfic after taking a good bit of the summer off, and I have added a bit. I need some fresh eyes on it because I’m kinda in that place where you feel like you’re taking too far of a stretch just to get forward in the story, but idk.

      I am open to all critiques (aside from the fact that I threw any and all timelines out the window, but I digress)


      @artistodysseyfan
      @keilah-h @theloonyone and anyone else who likes star wars!!

      "Fives, no!" "Fives, YeS!"

      #184589
      Keilah H.
      @keilah-h
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 4915

        @eveln-collins yay you’re back!!

        and haha, forget timelines this is fanfic we’re talking about! I saw you were rewriting it.

        The next part’s pretty good so far. Maybe have her lead the droid into one of the actual cells and just lock it in there so it can’t sound the alarm? she could say something like “wait a minute I think it was the door to one of the actual cells instead of the main door” to get it in there, then just close it on the droid before it can get out or something

        then go looking for Crosshair

        Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

        #184593
        Keilah H.
        @keilah-h
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 4915

          @evelyn-collins blahhh messed up your tag

          Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

          #184611
          Evelyn collins
          @evelyn-collins
            • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
            • Total Posts: 118

            @keilah-h Hellooo!!!

            That’s a good idea!! thanks! I get writer’s block WAY too easy.

            also, believe it or not, I have been called Eveln in real life face to face with someone, along with just about a hundred other much less acurate names, including Nora… for half a year.

            "Fives, no!" "Fives, YeS!"

            #184619
            Keilah H.
            @keilah-h
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 4915

              @evelyn-collins yeah I get that, it’s just how it is sometimes…

               

              also, believe it or not, I have been called Eveln in real life face to face with someone, along with just about a hundred other much less accurate names, including Nora… for half a year.

              How does someone make that mistake?? LOL

               

               

              if you have any other questions about your story, I’m totally open!!

              Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

              #184621
              Evelyn collins
              @evelyn-collins
                • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                • Total Posts: 118

                @keilah-h So, I was in a theater program with about 64 other kids, and one time I stole my friend’s name tag, ironically the day before she quit. What I didn’t know was that the choreographer had taken a picture of me in the background. for the next six months, she called me Nora, and I didn’t respond the entire time, not even knowing she was talking to me. on Valentine’s Day, she came up to me and said “Why do you keep ignoring me, Nora?!”

                I was just like “Who?”

                "Fives, no!" "Fives, YeS!"

                #184622
                Keilah H.
                @keilah-h
                  • Rank: Chosen One
                  • Total Posts: 4915

                  @evelyn-collins lollll you just can’t make that kinda stuff up can ya?

                   

                  People mispronounce my name all the time, or they hear it before they read it and then spell it as “Kayla.” I got used to it a long time ago XD

                  Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                  #184623
                  Evelyn collins
                  @evelyn-collins
                    • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                    • Total Posts: 118

                    @keilah-h Also, my biggest issue right now (and kind of always) Is moving forward.

                    I have this fear when I write about a character that isn’t my own that I am going to be super inaccurate. like, in all the scenes with Crosshair, I have procrastinated SOOOO much.

                    "Fives, no!" "Fives, YeS!"

                    #184624
                    Evelyn collins
                    @evelyn-collins
                      • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                      • Total Posts: 118

                      @keilah-h

                      [quote quote=184622] ] People mispronounce my name all the time, or they hear it before they read it and then spell it as “Kayla.” I got used to it a long time ago XD[/quote]

                      Relatable!

                      "Fives, no!" "Fives, YeS!"

                      #184626
                      Keilah H.
                      @keilah-h
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 4915

                        @evelyn-collins ikr?

                        also here’s a fanfic tip: Wanna learn how to write Crosshair correctly? Learn his mannerisms. Get inside his gray-haired, burn-scarred head. Re-watch Bad Batch, every scene with Crosshair. If you’re allowed to do so, I’m pretty sure you can find YouTube videos that’s like “Bad Batch but only when Crosshair is on screen” or something if you don’t want to watch almost every episode over again. Maybe write a short story from his perspective to get the hang of him. You don’t have to share it.

                        For me, writing a character who’s not mine honestly comes kinda easily if I’ve seen enough of the works he’s in.

                        Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                        #184628
                        Evelyn collins
                        @evelyn-collins
                          • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                          • Total Posts: 118

                          @keilah-h

                          You told me that before, and I have been doing that since Tuesday!! I got a terrible virus and couldn’t sleep, so I was like “It is time” so I watched all the episodes that focused on him, and have been watching the YouTube thingies!

                          "Fives, no!" "Fives, YeS!"

                          #184629
                          Keilah H.
                          @keilah-h
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 4915

                            @evelyn-collins Oh I did? LOL I don’t remember that, but ok!

                             

                            shame you got sick but hey, at least you have free time to learn to write Crosshair’s personality!

                            also, it’s ok if he’s a little off character, considering we have no idea how he’d react to having a daughter that’s been separated from him for pretty much about her entire existence.

                            Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                            #184630
                            Evelyn collins
                            @evelyn-collins
                              • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                              • Total Posts: 118

                              @keilah-h

                              yeah! thank you for the advice!

                              how have you been lately?

                              "Fives, no!" "Fives, YeS!"

                              #184683
                              Keilah H.
                              @keilah-h
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 4915

                                @evelyn-collins I’ve been doing good!! Been writing a fanfic (It’s not Star Wars but it’s a sci-fi, I have it up in the fan fiction chat if you’d like to see it), and also playing some Minecraft and this game series called World Of Goo. There are two games and I’ve beaten both of them.

                                Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                                #184700
                                Evelyn collins
                                @evelyn-collins
                                  • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                                  • Total Posts: 118

                                  @keilah-h I will definitely check it out!

                                  "Fives, no!" "Fives, YeS!"

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