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@ingridrd It sounds like a good story! The one thing I’d recommend is cutting. 😉
It doesn’t need to sound like this, but this is to get your gears turning and point out what I think isn’t necessary. Remember, the point of a synopsis is not to explain a story, it is to sell the story. Information is only important when it is necessary. The only other factor of a good synopsis is that it gets the reader emotionally attached to your character and worried that she might fail.
Jaclyn’s world has a history of turning upside down.
Like when she acquired the ability to create a small blue flame in her palm on her eighth birthday. Or when she started having the same dream every night after her sister vanished two years ago.
But now, at fifteen, Jaclyn is in for the biggest change of her life. A mysterious stranger who lives outside of the universe offers her a new home. He speaks of a hidden city where she might find her sister. Jaclyn is full of hope until she learns of a horrifying legend centered around her and the consequences everyone will face if she chooses not to accept her fate.
Will she risk leaving behind the life she has always known and accept her destiny—or condemn our world to destruction?
🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1330
@ingridrd Awesome! I like the 2nd version much better. Like Daeus said, you could consider cutting a little.
@daeus Thank you, thank you, thank you. Wow, that flows so much better…I’m gonna rewrite it, using your tips. 🙂
A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)
Jaclyn Fallows’ world has a history of turning upside down.
Like when she was suddenly able to create a small blue flame in the palm of her hand on her eighth birthday. Or when she started having the same dream about the sister who vanished without a trace two years ago.
But now, at fifteen, Jaclyn is in for the biggest change of her life. A mysterious stranger from a different universe offers her a place to call home. His kindness is too tempting to resist, especially when Jaclyn learns of the hidden city where she might find her sister. Jaclyn is full of hope until she learns of a horrifying legend and the consequences everyone will face if she chooses not to accept her fate.
Will she risk leaving behind the life she has always known and accept her destiny—or condemn our world to destruction?
A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)
@ingridrd I’m a bit late, but that looked cool! I want to read the story! 😀 I don’t have any sage advice for you. Just what @emily said.
You can pronounce it however you want.
@dekreel Thanks!
A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)
@Ingridrd That last version is great. I’m too late to help, but you got a bunch of good help. 😉
@Ingridrd Oo! Have I mentioned I need to read this?
Blog: https://weridasusual.home.blog/
@emma-flournoy Thanks, girl! 😉
@daughteroftheking Of course! When it’s finished, of course. I’m actually pretty close to done! 🙂 🙂 🙂A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)
@ingridrd *gasp* That’s exciting! *reaches out greedy little hands to grab at book* 😉
Blog: https://weridasusual.home.blog/
@daughteroftheking *shakes finger* Not yet. Don’t be naughty.
I like your new profile picture! 😉
A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)
@ingridrd *withdraws greedy little hands* Aw.
And thank you! I like that picture.
Blog: https://weridasusual.home.blog/
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