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@daisy-torres and hey, plz don’t think we’re ripping apart ur synopsis! If u like it, u do you! You’ve done INCREDIBLE so far and girl….just…WOW for working on this for FOUR YEARS!! That is some amazing dedication!! You’ve got a wonderful wonderful start, and just wanted to give u this little bit of encouragement in case you’re sitting there thinking, “Man this is really bad” because its really not. I went through a few different synopsis before landing on this one I’m on currently, (and one didn’t even feature November or Jocelyn’s names lol) So you got this! (:
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@writerlexi1216 Aww, thank you so much!! And no, you don’t sound critical at all! This is what I’m needing XD Thank you so so much for your input!! And yes, I also look for pieces about the characters in book blurbs, so thank you for pointing that out as well!
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
@nova21 Aww thankss!!
@madelyn Oh no you’re fine! I sometimes don’t respond to a topic until the next week loll. Thanks for joining! Aw, thank you <3 Ooo okay, I definitely see what you’re pointing out about the wording there. Thank you so much! Oh!! I knew that last line had a flow issue, but I couldn’t pinpoint where it was XD I’ll definitely be removing the ‘but’. Again, thank you so much, you’ve helped a lot!!
@Godlyfantasy12 YESSS I loved that series!! A friend of mine recommended it to me after hearing about my novel, so I read it and loved it! (The series definitely has some rough spots that should be read by older readers, for anyone seeing this lol. There are elements of blood that get rather graphic for my taste). Ohh I see what you mean!! Thank you SO much, you’ve been a humongous help!!!"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
@godlyfantasy12 Oh no, not at all!! I’m looking for some constructive ripping-up XD Thank you soo much for all of your help, advice, and encouragement!! Y’all have all been wonderful!!
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
Glad to help!! =)
Thanks for letting us in on the synopsis of your epic story!!
~In Christ Alone My Hope Is Found~
@madelyn Oh absolutely!! You guys are amazingg <3
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
For anyone interested, this is my “updated” synopsis! Which sounds best?
“Blood is thicker than water.”
“But blood won’t quench your thirst.”
——
The war began before they were born, and now it’s time to end it.Worlds of Cyber and Human clash too closely in this thrilling novel full of action and adventure.
Three siblings must combat villains with roots in Valdaria’s monarchy that go back to the land’s foundations, which the siblings will fight to keep.
Shattered lives and broken loves intertwine in this epic story of cyborgs, bitter heroes, and deception.
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
Ooh, it sounds amazing!! I’m getting even more interested in the story… XD
The updated version definitely sounds better, it has a lot more of a defined pace!
Would it be alright if I asked a few clarifying grammatical questions? 🙂
~In Christ Alone My Hope Is Found~
@madelyn Aww, thanks!! That was all because of y’all XD
Absolutely! Fire away!
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
@daisy-torres I think the updated on is much better! I love the first line and then how you introduce the cyber aspect, very well done!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebGotcha!
In the sentence “Three siblings must combat villains with roots in Valdaria’s monarchy that go back to the land’s foundations, which the siblings will fight to keep.”, it occurs to me, are the siblings fighting to keep the land, the foundations of the land, or the monarchy?
If they’re fighting to keep the land, then perhaps it could be phrased as…
“Three siblings must fight to keep their land (or country?) from villains with roots in its ancient monarchy”
Or
“Three siblings must combat villains with roots in Valdaria’s monarchy that go back to the foundations of a land the siblings will fight to keep.”
Also, with the phrase “shattered lives and broken loves”, I believe that “love” should be the plural of “love” instead of “loves”. Sort of like “deer” is the plural of “deer” XD
*yeahhh, the English language makes no sense*
(Heyyy, my forum rank moved up to a Charismatic Rebel! *extremely relieved to have retired the Bumbling Henchman title*)
~In Christ Alone My Hope Is Found~
@daisy-torres And remember, things will still have to be edited in the future, but for now if you’re happy with it that’s what matters, though I would offer one more suggestion if that’s fine?
The short and to the point synopsis can be nice, but I personally would prefer if it were a tad longer. Usually a synopsis consists of three short paragraphs.
the first paragraph introduces your character/characters and world and kinda what they’re going through.
Second one expands more on the danger and stakes and explains a bit more about what your story consists of, more on the world, etc.
The third brings it all together by stating the stakes, and telling more of how the story works. So, for example with yours, the second and last sentence would be in the third paragraph? Make sense?
It’s almost like Beginning middle and end except the end is more of bringing the first two parts together and stating more who your shooting for reader wise and such. Example (Fans of such and such will love this sci-fi adventure) etc
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@godlyfantasy12 Oh yayy! Thank youu <3
Oh yes, I see what you mean. See, it’s hard to get really wordy though, because the site I’m publishing on (Kindle Villa) won’t allow more than—*checks* 500 characters in total ;-; I may have to keep playing with it until I can get the best of both worlds lolll. Thank you so, so much for all of your help! I have honestly appreciate it sooo much!
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
@madelyn Hmmm yeah, I hadn’t thought about it from that perspective. I meant it more as the land/country. Thanks so much for pointing that out!!
Oh! You know, I think you’re right XD (And yes, the English language is veryyy annoying XD)
Aww, congratsss!! I remember being SO happy to finally get “promoted” XD It felt like it took foreverr
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
I like it!
I am actually writing my first sci fi, too, although I only started mine a month or so ago.
I like your blurb; it’s cool and leaves enough mystery for me to want to read it and find out what’s going on OoO
I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
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