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Hi! Thank you so so so much if you clicked on this.
Four years ago, I started a sci-fi novel. My first sci-fi, actually. Fast-forward a few thousand words and here I am, scrambling for a book description.
Yippee…
This is what I have so far, but I’m stuck. I want it to sound original and unique, and I don’t know that I’m getting that. Any feedback would be GREATLY appreciated!
Title: The Art of Deception
“Blood is thicker than water.”
“But blood won’t quench your thirst.”
—The fight began before any of them were born–and now it’s time for them to end it.
Three siblings must combat villains with roots in the monarchy that go back to the very foundations of the land they will fight to keep. But lives are shattered and love can be turned to hate in this epic series of cyborgs, bitter heroes, and deception.
@molly @abigail-m @e-k-seaver @issawriter7 @nova21 @mkfairygirl @writerlexi1216 @lewillams @madelyn @jodi-maile @joelle-stone @gracie-j @anyone-else!(Also, if you were tagged but don’t want to join that’s fine! Don’t worry about it! I don’t want to bug/pressure anyone!)
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
@daisy-torres Ooh, awesome! I like it a lot! My only thing would be that the second sentence seems a little long-winded. Maybe break it down?
Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into days@daisy-torres Oh my word I LOVE that! š I like that you kept it short and those quotes at the start are *chefs kiss*
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.com@devastate-lasting Oh really? Thanks! Yes, I see what you mean! I think I see a better way to reword it now. Thank you so muchh!!
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
@jenwriter17 Aww thankss a bunch!!
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
I like the short-but-sweet aspect, but it would also be cool to see a short, one-sentence description of each MC’s struggle…Ā an example is:
Three siblings must combat villains/cyborgs whose roots run deep in the foundations of the land, each while battling their own demons.
Character 1 is trying to escape the wicked truth of her past.
Character 2 wants to keep his promise to his dead parents and protect his family.
Character 3’s strange nightmares might hold answers to the villains’ destruction…
Those examples aren’t very good, but hopefully you get the gist. š
Another way to clear the synopsis up is telling us a little about the villain/s.Ā Are they the cyborgs you mentioned?Ā Supernatural beings?
This book is exactly the kind of book I want to read, Daisy!!!!!Ā I hope my input helped.Ā Thanks for sharing, and I hope to see it in print sometime soon… šā¤
what we do in life echoes in eternity
-gladiator, 2000Wow that’s really good!
If I had to give one suggestion, it would be to put an adjective before “three siblings” so the readers get a better idea of who they are.
Something like three ambidextrous siblings must combat villains with roots in the monarchy that go back to the very foundations of the land they will fight to keep.
(or something like that)
Flawless and handsome (as ruled by my grandmother.)
@daisy-torres It’s really really good! Short is nice, but at the same time I would enjoy more breakdown, specifically about characters maybe and what the stakes are personally? Having multiple MCs can be a bit tough when coming up with a synopsis.
I have 4 MCs (but 1 isn’t in there much) so three are in my synopsis. Here’s mine and, while not perfect by any means, maybe it can help give you some ideas? (The way I did it was just a personal preference, there are multiple ways to do it, and those quotes are INCREDIBLE)
All ArabellaĀ
wants is to stay with her family, but destiny has other plansā¦..
NovemberĀ
just wants to protect her, though he questions if he can.
Jocelynās
only wish is to follow in her uncleās footsteps, however, something sinister lurks in the darkness.
When destiny forces Arabella and November to embark on a dangerous journey with no idea when they can return home, the two end up in Cirque, a dastardly circus with a monstrous past.
A girl named Jocelyn becomes the twoās only true friend in this upside down land, but when tragedy strikes she finds herself in as much trouble as they. Framed for a crime she didnāt commit, she has no choice but to seek the help of her these two strangers.
Together, the three must work together to pull back the veil of secrets and unearth Cirqueās sinister past. The stakes are high, as any failure would result in them becoming the next victims.
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebAlso suggest perhaps tying more of the sci-fi element into the beginning of the synopsis. I say this because, while you will obviously have the cover and such, I would have read that thinking fantasy, and wouldn’t have thought it was sci-fi until the end of the synopsis when it says cyborgs. So perhaps give a small description or something?
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@nova21 Ooh that’s suuch a good idea! I’ll have to think about what I can use for that bit! Thank you so much for helping me!! And thank youu, that makes me really happy to hear! It’s about to be on Amazon’s Kindle Vella when they open up shop in July!
@not-so-secret-secret-assassin Thanks!! Oo that’s a good idea. I really like when descriptions let a bit of the characters’ personalities through. Thank you so much for your input!
@Godlyfantasy12 Aw, thankss! I like your idea about adding the “personal” descriptions for my charries. (Also, it’s cool that we almost have the same amount of POV’s XD and I looove circus stories like that! I would totally read that!). Oo yeah I see what you’re talking about with it needing a scifi element at the beginning. Any ideas that would still “flow” smoothly?Thank you guys so muchhh! Y’all are such a blessing <3
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
GIRL. Those quotes are astounding and very tense!! I’m liking the idea of this sci-fi novel already. First of all, I think your synopsis is worded wonderfully. *chef’s kiss* However, I do agree with @godlyfantasy12 about including more in-depth descriptions for the characters, which is what I tend to look for when I flip a book over. And with @devastate-lasting as well. But I’m no master at writing book synopses, and I hope I don’t sound critical with these remarks. I do like the choppy style because it gives more tension!Ā This sounds like a novel I would pick up for sure! Great job!:)
Yay!!!Ā I’ll definitely check it out! <3
what we do in life echoes in eternity
-gladiator, 2000Thanks for tagging me! š
Sorry that I’m a little late to the topic, I seem to not be receiving forum notifications… š¤
I love your synopsis! It sounds like a super unique and interesting story.
A few thoughts:
I’m wondering, are the first two lines supposed to be a quote of dialogue between two people? If they are, and if it is important that it is quite clear to the readers, I’d suggest adding a dialogue tag or two, or something to imply that it’s being said by characters. It can honestly go either way, but I thought I’d just throw that out there š
In the line “Three siblings must combat villains with roots in the monarchy that go back to the very foundations of the land they will fight to keep”, I’m wondering if the “they” in “they will fight to keep” is referring to the siblings or the villains. Like someone else mentioned, that sentence gets a little long which makes it a tad harder to follow.
One last thing, the sentence “But lives are shattered and love can be turned to hate in this epic series of cyborgs, bitter heroes, and deception.”, I’d recommend you consider removing the “But” (for both grammatical and flow reasons).
Once again, your book sounds amazing! Best of luck! š š š
~In Christ Alone My Hope Is Found~
This Synopsis is from Cinder by Melissa Meyer, (awesome book btw, recommend tho it is YA so for older readers) Anyway, it’s a sci-fi retelling of Cinderella, and it may help give u some inspiration.
(THIS IS NOT MY STORY!)
Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless Lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earthās fate hinges on one girl. . . . Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg.
Sheās a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsisterās illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kaiās, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her worldās future
-Melissa Meyer’s Cinder
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@daisy-torres So I definitely recommend perhaps giving a bit of a paragraph of world description kind of like above, and what this also does it lets them know the overarching plot (Example, the Lunar aliens waiting to make their move and earth hanging in the balance) which leaves plenty of room for her to focus on her MC, Cinder in the last two paragraphs.
Or, you can even explain some of the world in the aspect of how it relates to your characters personally.
Example (idk much about ur story lol so bear with me)
Living in a galactic monarchy ruled by ruthless individuals, (MC’s) life hasn’t been…..
See what I mean? Hope this helps!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb
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