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But November is my loving baby. He holds so much love in his heart and he just wants the same love. (in fact when my babies receive their “crystals” representing their God-given gifting, November’s actually IS love.)
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb*Sniff*
That’s beautiful. I love how realistic his theme is. I wish more books addressed the need to love God first. Knowing God is the deepest, innate need of us humans. But it’s too easy to see that on paper and not draw it out in real life.
What really crushes me about the situation he’s in right now, is that when he sees through it he will believe the truths that he has a special purpose etc. to be lies like everything else. Which will make him believe the actual lies more than ever. It would have to be a long journey to come out of that.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
@godlyfantasy12 that’s a great message!!
what are the crystals for btw? Are they just like “badges” of some kind, or do they have a deeper meaning?
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
@elishavet-pidyon yea it’s a long journey…for all of them, but his and Corvina’s is definitely the longest.
@keilah-h so basically, they’re all “destined” by God for this journey they’re going on. When they get to Luna’s story, Luna has been raised by an entire different race, because her ppl was wiped out leaving only her. But she was raised guarding these “crystals” for the Destined ones to come (which is Ara and them) so when they get their she’s like super excited (that plus lack of all other contact besides this race that has raised her XD) but they have to go through this cave all separately and “overcome” demons to get their crystals.And they each represent a key trait for each person. They’re more symbolic than anything? But they also tie in and connect to the person’s like…life? I haven’t figured it all out. but for instance when one dies the crystal goes dull/grey.
But here’s each one, their color and what it represents!
November-Love-Orange
Arabella-Life (bringing life to others)-Green
Jocelyn-Joy-Red
Nyx-Loyalty-Yellow
Grimm-I CAN’T REMEMBER SOOOB XD-Blue, but like the dark royal blue
Paxton-Hope-Snow White
Luna-Faith-Purple
Corvina (Haven’t figured it out totally)-Black
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@godlyfantasy12 oh, cool! Those are really pretty colors you’ve picked, too.
so one of them dies canonically? Or you’re just saying if one dies the crystal goes dull? Will someone else get it, or will it just never be usable again cause its owner is gone forever? (Unless he or she has a way of coming back.)
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
@elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h @whalekeeper @loopylin @freed_and_redeemed @anyone else lol
SOOO I just finished writing most of a scene (it’s not finished yet) but I wanted to share it cuz…ya
SOME TRIGGER WARNINGS!
There is some unwanted flirting, nothing too intense, but the guy is not nice and makes Ara very uncomfortable.
And…more November bullying (I’M SORRY GUYS PLZ DON’T COME AT ME XD)
BUT yall are gonna love Ara’s Uncle (; (Ara’s family is awesome)
“Well, what do we have here?”
November flinched, moving away from Ara’s hands which were gently wiping at the bruises on his face. He gripped the knees of his pants, staring at the dirt floor as Callan rounded the corner of the street they were huddled in. Ara pursed her lips, eyes narrowing.
She knew the brown-haired boy was trouble. Knew he liked to pick on the elderly and trip the kids who ran past in the marketplace. Heard her uncle talk about the issues that he and his friends caused that they never seemed to have proof for.
More importantly, she knew just how afraid of him her friend was. How he enjoyed tormenting November whenever he got the chance, though November wouldn’t go into detail. Looking at the cuts and bruises the ginger was covered in though, Ara began to put two and two together.
She stood up, slightly blocking her friend with her body, forcing herself to stand straighter, though the older boy was at least two feet taller than her.
“Hey Princess,” Callan’s voice sounded like something that crawled out of a swamp. He leaned against a wall, blocking the only way of escape. Ara put her hands together, putting on her “Listen to me or be punished” face.
“Get out of here Callan.”
The boy tilted his head, brow raising. “Why should I? You two trying to sneak around or something?”
November choked behind her and Ara blushed with anger at the implication. How dare he…November and she would never…
“I mean, can’t say I’d blame him. But really, Princess? This one?” Callan nodded his head at November, the younger boy’s hands now shaking. He stood up, peeking through his curls with a glare. Ara let her shoulders fall, feeling a bit better to know he was standing behind her.
The comfort fled as Callan took a step forward and touched Ara on the cheek, leaning too close for comfort. “I mean, you could have any boy you wanted in A’Grend, and you choose this little wimp? Come on, let me show you what a real man’s like.”
Ara froze, heart stuttering in her chest at the close proximity. Her knees wobbled. She felt sick.
Callan’s grunted as November collided into him, knocking him to the ground.
“Y-You! Don’t you touch her! Y-You sick-” The ginger brought fist after fist down on the older boy. The two startled tumbling around on the ground, Callan getting the upper hand after a few seconds.
“You little brat!” He spat, shoving November’s face into the dirt. He shoved his knee into the younger boy’s back making him cry out in pain.
Ara was still reeling, hand gripping at her blouse, cheek still burning from where Callan had touched her. She was shaking. No, shivering. When had it gotten so cold?
November’s sudden cry of pain broke her stupor. She looked up with a gasp, crying out for her friend as she watched Callan overwhelm him.
“November! N-No! Stop it!” She screamed, but her body refused to move, too afraid of the older male. Tears freely flowed from her eyes.
Do something! DO SOMETHING!
“What is going on over here?!”
A voice called out making Ara spin around, eyes brightening. She’d never in her life been so happy to see an adult.
“U-Uncle, p-p-lease! Stop him!”
“Callan Ackley!”
The use of the slick-haired boy’s full name made him pause his ministrations. He slowly turned, eyes full of fire. It extinguished immediately at the sight of the man in front of him. He gulped, releasing November’s curls. The smaller boy’s head fell into the dirt, exhausted.
“What. Do you think. You’re doing.”
“P-Prophet…I-I…”
The prophet’s eyes twitched with a fiery rage for a moment before regaining his composure and turning to Ara. His eyes softened, hand reaching out to wipe away a few tears. “Shh child, it’s alright.”
“U-Uncle..” She cried, shaking her head. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him what Callan had done…or implied…
What would her uncle do to the boy if she did?
She turned to November instead, lifting her skirts and making her way to her friend, kneeling beside him. She lifted him into her lap gently, rubbing his cheek soothingly. “Oh, November…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”
November sat up a bit, breathing heavy. He looked up at Ara, skin flushed. He smiled, that big, endearing smile that he always gave her.
How could he possibly be smiling at her…?
“Not-not your fault.”
“B-But-”
“Never your fault…” He murmured, eyes drooping.
Ara’s tears fell freely again. How did she ever come to deserve a best friend like November?
She looked up at Callan, bringing November closer as if to shield him should the boy decide to retaliate again. But…Callan seemed as harmless as a wet kitten now, faced with the stern face of Ara’s uncle.
“Callan Ackley. You and your friends have caused me many problems, but I have yet to prove it, but this is the last straw young man. I will be telling the king about this. And no, not just because it’s his daughter and her best friend, although that in itself was a foolish thing to do, I mean honestly. But because you’re a very violent young man. You always have been. You best learn to curve that violence. Do you think that pleases the Light One? No. It doesn’t. We will decide on what to do about this at a later date, but trust me, this will not go unpunished.” The prophet sighed, rubbing his temples, still glaring at the boy. Callan’s fists clenched, eyes on his shoes.
“ For now, I expect a PUBLIC apology to Young November, and Princess Arabella.”
Callan jerked eyes meeting the prophet as he growled. “Never.”
Ara’s Uncle stepped back slightly in surprise. “I’m sorry?”
“Psh…I’m never going to apologize to that…that…Jinx. The princess? Yea, sure whatever. But that thing? No way.”
Ara gripped November closer, hoping the half-asleep boy wasn’t hearing him. She watched as her uncle’s face morphed from his calm, usually well-mannered expression to one of power, authority and…
Anger.
He leaned into Callan’s face until he was only inches away from the boy. He reached out and gripped the boy’s shirt. “Now you listen here. You’re lucky that when I came across you I didn’t take matters into my OWN hands. Just because I’m the Light One’s ordained does NOT mean I am soft or lack the ability to doll out punishment. Especially to ungrateful, little bullies like yourself. You will apologize to Young Mr Elrond or I will personally choose your punishment. And it will not be pleasant.”
Callan’s eyes widened and he swallowed hard, making his adam’s apple bob.
“Understood?” The boy nodded. “Good.” The prophet released the boy. “Now get out of here and go figure out your apology.” The boy ran off like the dog with his tail between his legs.
Ara stared with wide eyes.
She was definitely not going to tell her uncle what else Callan had said and done…While she didn’t like the boy…she didn’t necessarily want him killed.
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeband yea, I know its rough….no critiques plz XD
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@godlyfantasy12 wow!
so Ara’s family is all in high positions? Her parents are the rulers, her uncle is called a “prophet” so I’m guessing that means he’s their advisor?
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
and if it feels like im just bullying November I am SORRY its just cuz im writing the first scenes/first book and basically this book has a lot of rough scenes for November…this was his life…sad to say…It gets better gang! He has some good scenes with Ara!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebOoooo!!! I love this section!!!
Ok. Callan is a knave, and that was creepy, but well done. This description of him made me laugh:
Callan’s voice sounded like something that crawled out of a swamp.
And November facing someone he fears to protect Ara was AMAZING. And her Uncle is fantastic. Being a PK myself, I loved his character, role, and personality. The term “prophet” fits him like a glove.
Or maybe a gauntlet.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
Well done! I appreciate how you wrote that in a way that a younger audience wouldn’t understand his implications, yet you didn’t shy away from the point. And oh, Ara.
She should have told him. But that’s not an easy thing to say.
And November. Dear, loving November.
I hope this Uncle beats the snot from that kid in one way or another (although maybe that isn’t a very merciful response. Still. It might help him). Love how you wrote him.
Aaggggggh. I want to read these books so bad…
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork@koshka Thank you! Yes, while I’m probably going to aim a bit in the middle of YA and Middle grade, I’m just not sure how comfortable I am at least in this drafting stage with certain issues and of course this is a CLEAN work/series, so while I will deal with heavy issues, making it more YA, and writing style as well (I hope lol!) I don’t want to delve into the nastiness or anything like that. But I did add triggers just in case for that reason (: and yes her uncle is amazing!!
@elishavet-pidyon yes Callan is awful ): and thank you! I am also a PK and Ara’s family is based on my own (and Ara is based on me, which every character has an aspect of me, but Ara was born mostly from ME entirely)
@keilah-h yup! So A’Grend isn’t really ‘ruled’ by humans, but by God, or the Light One. Ara’s family are just appointed by God to watch over. Think like the Lord’s appointed Judges in the Bible or Moses.The reason it’s Ara’s family is because Ara’s grandfather and grandmother actually ‘founded’ A’Grend as young teens. The Lord chose them and the children they’d led through the torn world to save and cherish and built A’Grend around them.
Daryen, the Prophet is actually the eldest. He was going to lead all of A’Grend, like his father, who was basically their leader, God’s anointed king.
However, when his younger brother Emyr was born, the Light One had a special place for him as well, thus the roles were split for them both to lead A’Grend in their own special places.
Emyr became the people’s “king” or the one who helped maintain the people’s spirits or politics or duties that fell upon him.
Daryen, more introverted but just as fiery in heart, became their Prophet. He fell more to prayer and intercession for the people, helping Judge with troubles that Emyr couldn’t on his own, keep the peace, and (as above) help Emyr with any bad apples (which have risen in recent years)
yea that’s kinda a quick summary
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@godlyfantasy12 so the brothers are a little like Moses and Aaron, kinda! Cool! Emyr would be the Moses equivalent, the younger brother that leads the people according to God’s plan, and then Daryen would be the Aaron-like, the older brother fulfilling the more explicitly priestly role.
(was just reading Numbers in my morning Bible study, so they’re fresh in my mind)
that could also be completely off the mark, but idk
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
@godlyfantasy12 Poor November and Ara😭
BUT I LOVE THE SCENES
Callan is…💀 and I ADORE Ara’s uncle already🤭
and I think you portrayed that scene very well without going into explaining it completely and rather leaving it vague.
Job very well done👏👏👏
@keilah-h yea basically! @freed_and_redeemed thank you! ALSO HIII!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb
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