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AHH! Godly is here!
*Hugs*
What do we have here? A November scene?!
*Excited reading*
*Meets this Callan and his cuckoos.*
Who is this creep?
*plots to cause him destruction*
*finishes reading*
Aw, November, it’s not your fault, dearie.
Great section! Grammatically, the writing is rough, but the scenes flows well. Vivid and heartfelt.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
@godlyfantasy12 heyyyy welcome back!!! Glad youāre back to writing your story. I donāt exactly have the time to give feedback yet, but I will TOTALLY be back tomorrow.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
@keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @koshka HIIIII!!!
Yessss Callan is…not good XD yall want me to post another scene?
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebSHE’S WRITING AGAIN. EEEEEEEš¤©š¤©š¤©
November!!!šš I love the scene! šš I’ve missed Novemberš„ŗ
āØš¶ penelope, why? you know I'm too shy and terrified āØš¶
@godlyfantasy12 Go for it!!
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Yay, Godly! So glad youāre back! š
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C. S.
@hybridlore @keilah-h @freed_and_redeemed @koshka @elishavet-pidyon @loopylin
Here’s another scene! This is one I started in a previous draft and finished just recently. Again no critiques please! Not ready for that lol
Novemberās foot tapped against the marble flooring. His lips quirked to the side and he cleared his throat, glancing from left to right.
Boy, did he hate just standing around.
It was always soā¦awkward.
Thoughā¦most things he did were awkward, he supposed.
He let out a breath, sending one of his curls flying. A few people passed by, giving him a wave or a nod. He smiled back, feeling like a complete dolt. He was sure they were all wondering why he was just standing there, all creepy like, but what else was he supposed to do?
Ara had gone into her fatherās study to see Ganesh, andā¦wellā¦November didnāt want to intrude. It had been years since Ganeshās last visit, and he knew how close he and Ara were. They were like family to each other. So, November had opted to stay outside for their reunion, though he was now regretting it.
He slipped his hands into his pockets and began awkwardly swinging his shoulders from side to side. He silently hoped that Ara would hurry, but knew that was a bit selfish. Perhaps he should just goā¦Ahā¦but that would be rude too, wouldnāt it.
He frowned, eyes ticking back and forth. He really shouldāve gone insideā¦
āAye, November!ā
November yelped, startled. His head raised to meet the eyes of the blonde-haired young lady whoād called him. He swallowed, cheeks burning with embarrassment. āA-Anie! Youā¦ahā¦scared me.ā
āJa, I noticed,ā she rolled her eyes, placing a hand on her hip. November rubbed the back of his neck.
āD-Did you need something?ā
Anieās eyes narrowed and then she huffed, pointing over her shoulder. āThereās a man in the hall. Ya Daā, I think. Says he needs to see ya.ā Novemberās heart plummeted.
āP-Papa? W-Whatās he doing here?ā
Anie shrugged, āBeats me.ā
November paled, his stomach twisting. Was his father still upset with him? Had he done something else to disappoint him? Why else would he come all the way to the castle? To see him? He swallowed, nodding.
Anie raised a brow. āAye, you okay there?ā November jerked his head up, blinking furiously.
āOh! Uh, yea! Yea, fine! I, should, uh, get going,ā he gave a half-hearted smile, waving as he slipped past. His hand instinctively rose to his curls, readying themselves for a fierce pull when Anieās voice called once more.
āOy! By the way, whereās Arabella?ā
November paused, back still to the handmaid. āSheās, um, in the study.ā
āAh, figured she wouldnāt be too far. You two stick pretty close, after all. Surprised she hasnāt figured it out by now.ā November caught her wink out of the corner of his eye.
Heat creeped up his neck and face. Anieās laughter echoed down the hall, followed by her footsteps. November coughed, trying to get rid of the blush he knew was on his face.
He rounded a corner, passing a few maids and servants. His eyes studied the hall, searching for any sign of the tall, dark-haired man he knew so well. His heart beat quickly, amplifying in his ears like a drum. His fingers ran through his curls, catching in a few and giving them a good tug.
Glancing down, he found his reflection staring back from the marble tiles. He frowned at the curly-headed boy he met eyes with. His appearance was a daily reminded of his disappointment. His shortcomings.
A daily reminder that heād never be like his father.
With Rivenās strong jaw, and dark hair. His perfect posture. Flawless manners and ability to handle any situation.
Noā¦
November would always just beā¦November.
The lanky kid with curly hair and dimples. The boy who couldnāt do anything right. The clumsy kid with no filter. A disappointment.
November scrunched his nose at the reflection. He sighed, continuing his way down the hallway. He rounded another corner, pausing when he realized he hadnāt passed anyone recently. He frowned.
Had he gotten lost?
Anie had said his father was waiting here, right? In the hall?
Surely he hadnāt gotten that wrongā¦
āWha-Hey!ā November cried as something gripped his forearm. He winced at the pressure against his skin as the fingers held tight. He writhed and squirmed, eyes squeezed shut. āLet go! What are you-ā
āNovember.ā
His eyes shot open. He stopped moving, head turning to face his would be attacker. He blinked. āPapa?ā
Riven stood tall, his dark blue eyes searching November calmly. His expression was void of emotion; his lips drawn thin and his brows lowered into a straight line. The man glanced at the hall, as if making sure no one were around, and then back at his son.
āPapa-whatā¦what are you-ā
āHush, I havenāt the time for questions.ā
November grimaced. He glanced at his arm, still upheld in his fatherās vice-like grip. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat as his palms began to sweat. He wriggled slightly. āP-Papaā¦youāre hurting me.ā
Riven gave him a cold glance before releasing his arm. November immediately rubbed it, already feeling a bruise starting to form. The man placed a firm hand on Novemberās shoulder, leading him further down the hall.
āCome, we need to talk.ā
Novemberās brows furrowed in question. āTalk? A-About what?ā Had something happened? Had he done something wrong again? He wiped his sweaty palms against his pants.
His father gave no answer, instead keeping his eyes on the course ahead. November frowned. What could be so important, or terrible, that his father would come all the way to the castle to see him?
And where were they going?
November glanced backward, wondering if he shouldāve peeked in and told Ara where heād gone. Hopefully she wouldnāt think heād left herā¦
The pair continued down the hall, rounding the corners. November scanned the decor, eyeing it all with interest. Pictures of generations long past; Araās ancestors, dressed in royal garb and looking the picture of perfection. A few landscape paintings littered the halls as well, showing AāGrend in all of its glory. The sun setting in the Garden, and the pristine farmlands.
November smiled as he passed by a portrait of the castle, right after it had been built, itās stone walls still sparkling with newness.
He didnāt notice when his father stopped. He grunted as his body collided into Rivenās. His ears turned pink at the tips and he grimaced, shuffling backwards.
āS-Sorry.ā
Riven furrowed his brows with a sigh, giving November nothing but a passing glance. The boy looked away, face flushing with embarrassment. His eyes peeked around his fatherās frame, eyeing the large oak doors they stood at. He blinked.
The Athenaeum.
Novemberās eyes crinkled, āW-What are we doing here?ā
āIāll tell you once weāre inside.ā Riven opened one of the doors, enveloping the hallway in natural light. November watched as specks of dust wafted through the air.
A jerk at his shoulder made him jump. Riven tugged him into the room, releasing his shoulder and shutting the door behind them. November frowned, following his father close behind.
āDo you know who the princess is meeting with?ā
November looks up at his father. āW-what?ā
āThe princess,ā his father asks again, agitated, āDo you know who sheās meeting with.ā
āW-Wellā¦her uncle said Ganesh had returned and-ā
āYes, he has.ā
āIsā¦is that a problem?ā November was growing more confused by the second. And nervous as his father led him deeper into the darkened Atheneaum. The only light in the library were a few candles burning.
Riven sighed, shaking his head. November frowned, feeling as though heād asked the wrong thing. āDo you understand nothing?ā The look his father gave him made him shrink, pausing his steps only for a moment. āGanesh only comes when there is a message to deliver. Something important.ā
āO-Ohā¦ā
November had just thought he was here to visit with the familyā¦They were close after all.
He frowned. Ara would be disappointedā¦
āFocus, November.ā The boy jerked upright, blushing as though he were caught in his thoughts; which, he kinda had been. āThat means something urgent is being brought to the king and queenās attention at this very moment.ā
āO-Okayā¦?ā November was still confused. What did this have to do with him?
āAnd it also means Iām going to need your help.ā
November startles, steps screeching to a halt.
Hisā¦help?
His father was asking for his help?Ā
Riven turned to November, brows furrowed slightly and eyesā¦not as cold as they usually were. He placed his arms on the boyās shoulders, gripping tightly but not enough to hurt him. It was actuallyā¦comforting. Grounding. Almost like a hug; okay maybe not that far.
āIf something is happening that involves the royal family or AāGrend, then it is our duty to step in, November.ā
November stared into his fatherās ice blue eyes, feeling a depth and seriousness in them heād never felt before. He nodded slowly, taking in every word.
āThe royal family may not understand it yet, but you and I? We have a very special purpose here, November. We must protect AāGrend. With everything. Even when others donāt understand it.ā
November swallowed, his fatherās words washing over him in a wave.
A special purposeā¦
To protectā¦
It felt as though a weight was both lifted and placed at the same time. November hadā¦a purpose. A purpose that wasnāt making a mess of everything he touched. A purpose that didnāt involved hurting those around him. No, he was here to protect.
āNovember, do you hear what Iām saying? Do you understand me?ā
November nodded, a small smile playing at his lips.
āY-Yes, papa.ā He was breathless, filled with the words his father was speaking.
āGood. Because Iām going to need you to listen to everything I say very carefully, and Iām going to need you to do everything I ask. No mistakes.ā
November swallowed, fists clenching with determination.
He wouldnāt mess this up. Not this time.
Noā¦heād make his father proud this time.
Heād protect AāGrend.
Protect Ara.
āYes sir.ā
Riven smiled. Actuallyā¦smiled. And if that didnāt do something for Novemberā¦
November wished his father would smile at him all the time. Heād do anything for his father to smile at him again.
āGood, because everything I ask of you is going to be secret, do you understand? No one can know what we are doing. Itās the upmost important. Not Ganesh, not the king or queen, no one.ā
November smiled hard, nodding, his mind fuzzy with the warm feelings of his fatherās approval.
And then his thoughts came to a halt.
No one?
āNo…one?ā
Rivenās face grew serious once more, the grip on his sonās shoulders increasing. The father and son met eyes. āNo one.ā
āNot evenā¦?ā
āNo, November. Especially not the princess.ā
The warm feelings were replaced with a dreadful cold and his heart dropped.
Heā¦He couldnāt do that. He couldnāt. He coul-
His fatherās eyes softened. āI need you November. Can you do it?ā
November swallowed the knot in his throat.
āIā¦ā
He couldnāt! He couldnāt!
The grip on his shoulders became soft, soothing, and then, they pulled him in until Novemberās face was fully enveloped by his fatherās chest. The boy shook at the sudden onslaught of emotion. He opened his mouth to speak but now words came out as he slowly returned his fatherās hug.
It was soā¦strange. Foreign.
Rightā¦
When was the last time?
He wanted to cry.
He wanted more.
He couldnāt! Heā¦
He could.
āYes sir. I can do it.ā
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebI love it! Anie’s accent is so much fun to read. And Riven is such an interesting but evil character
šµMovinā right alongš¶
@whalekeeper wants to read this too probably
šµMovinā right alongš¶
@loopylin now how did I forget to tag Whaley *virtual facepalm*
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@godlyfantasy12 ooh that’s a good scene!
Riven seems to be different than in your previous drafts. He’s a bit more conniving and less “I’m evil cause I can be!”
I’m a bit worried that what he calls “protecting” A’grend doesn’t mean truly protecting it. But maybe he’s telling the truth. I don’t know.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Ok. You about made me cry.
That is so sad. I can see November’s motives so clearly that it’s painful, because it’s just… So true, and yet so, so wrong. Riven is using the truth to tell a lie. And poor, sweet November is caught in the middle. Riven using affection to manipulate November breaks my reader-heart.
I could pound that man into the floor.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
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