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@Rolena-Hatfield
Oh. My. Word. I LOVE THIS! Like everyone else has been saying, I want MORE! This is amazing. And…everyone else has already given all the feedback I would have given. 😉 Seriously, though, I love this. Keep writing for the Kingdom! 🙂@daeus Awesomesauce! Thanks for the great critique. What you mentioned about “the round about way” is a downfall in my writing and life. Mom says I flower everything up when it can just be stated plain and simple.
All the other suggestions were very helpful thank you. I’ll be using those when I go back through and make edits.
@ingridrd Thank you! I saw some of those spelling mistakes after I posted it! Good eye!
@kate-flournoy Thanks for pointing the repetitive sentence structure out. I’ve actually never thought of that before. That is totally become my writing habit and will be difficult to break. That ones going take some research.
@emma-flournoy Ah you totally sounded like my younger sister after she reads through my story! (you don’t have any practice in that department at all do you :p ) Thanks for your comments! I’ll keep them in mind when I go back through and edit it.
@sarah-h Oh okay! Yes I’ll be splitting that into two separate sentences. Thanks!
@gretald Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! I definitely have some good ideas what to edit in the next section of the story before it goes public, but I was tickled by all ya’ll’s support. 🙂https://rolenahatfield.com/
@Rolena-Hatfield Oh no, not much practice in that department at all. 😛
Good luck on all of your story. 🙂
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