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@lucy Hello and welcome to the Kingdom of Pen! I’m Elizabeth, and it’s so very nice to meet you. Would you care for a virtual cup of tea? I’m particularly partial to Wild Berry Zinger at the moment.
The War of the Two Worlds sounds so interesting!! How long have you been working on it? I’m also a fantasy fiction lover, so I can tell we’re going to get along splendidly.
*gasp* Gluten free Oreos? This is life-changing information. (My husband ((and thus me by extension)) is gluten-free, so I feel your pain.)
I love Wayne Thomas Batson too!! I have yet to read The Door Within trilogy, however. What makes it your favorite?
Looking forward to seeing you around!!
“Seven seconds till the end. Time enough for you. Perhaps. But what will you do with it?”
@lucy Hi, Lucy!!! 🙂 Welcome to the Kingdom!!!!! I love fantasy fiction too!!! Have you read anything by Jennifer A. Nielsen? I saw that you like Chuck Black. My sister, @issawriter7 , likes Chuck Black’s books. What books have you read by him? It’s nice to meet you!!!!! 🙂
"It looks like a fairy world"~Meg from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Fall in love with Jesus@abigal-m
Hey!
thank you!
what’s the name of your pony! How many hands is she?
my pony I have now, her name is Tinker Bell, she is only 12 hands tall! I am getting to big to ride her, but she is pregnant! And her baby is going to be so small that you can hold it! I can’t wait!
eeshh! Yeah, that’s a problem 🤣🤣 my pony has a issue where she throws people of. Then one time she just SAT down when I was riding her! A guess she thought she earned a break😂😂😂😁😆 haha!,
my very first horse though, was a gelding named Sargent. He was about 15 hands tall, but was a amazing horse. He got very old though. And my sister Hannah sold him to do beach rides at Hilton Head island. They kept all the horses they had until the horses retired, then they still kept them but in a field where they could play and not do rides. I miss him dearly. But I absolutely LOVED a horse named Addell. She was a Appaloosa mare. She was blind and only six. I loved her SO much, I would take care of her, and brush her and ride her, and she would trust me. That I wouldn’t lead her straight into a fence or something like that. She got a thing on her eye. So Hannah called the vet and they came out and looked at her. She had cancer. She was in pain. She gritted her teeth all the time. And I helped her through it, I would get her some soaked warm oats. But I had gone down to the barn, and she was lying flat down, I tried to make her get up, because it’s not good for them to be down like that. But she wouldn’t, I called Hannah and she got her up. But then she was gritting her teeth, that awful sound. Then I broke my leg and had to have surgery so I couldn’t be down at the barn. I was on my bed one morning, and I heard mama and Hannah having a conversation. Hannah said that she was calling the vet to put Addell down. I cried and begged her not to. But she said that is wasn’t fair for her to live in pain all the time. I miss her so much. Oh bother! I’m crying! (I Normally don’t talk about this, so you get a pass) I look out over the field and sometime I think I see her, running, kicking up her heels! Watching the dirt fly out in all directions! Sometimes, I talk to her, and I like to think that she can hear me. No one really knew how much she meant to me. But I will tell you this. Addell, meant the WORLD to me. I loved her! So much. I miss her terribly.
but… enough about my issues!
What animals do you have?
we have, pigs, goats, horses, a donkey, turkeys, ducks, cats and dogs.
Addell.Never Alone,
Lucy.
hey!
thank you!
fantasy fic is the best!
no, I haven’t! I will have to look her up sometime!
I have read The Starlore legacy, and the kingdom series. They are both brilliant!
Never Alone!
Lucy.
hey!
thank you!
sure, as long as there are cookies! *cough* biscuits,i mean.🤣 Yum! That sounds really good!
thank you! I have been writing it for a little over about 7 months maybe.
haha! Alas. It looks like we have more in common then I thought! I am also gf! Have you ever heard of gluten free on a shoe string? If you cook gf things then you HAVE to look this up https://glutenfreeonashoestring.com/
it’s AMAZING gf recipes! It has pop tarts, cakes, cupcakes, etc! We LOVE the pop tarts! Tip: I would NOT advise you too put the pop tarts in the toaster! It made a mess! But we got a new toaster oven, so our problems are solved! We also made strawberry pop tarts by putting jelly inside of them instead of the cinnamon mix. But the cinnamon ones are very good! I am in a family of 8 Daddy, mama, Hannah, Aleigha, Claire, Aidan Owen and me! And me, mama, Aleigha and Claire are gf!I love the door within trilogy because, well, I first found out about the door within trilogy at the library. And then I looked at the other books by him and found the isle series. Have you ever read them? But I love the door within trilogy because it’s a Christian book, and there are hardly enough of those! And I love the way he writes, it’s like you in the characters world! It’s like you know the characters personally! I inspire to write like that!
it’s good to meet you!
Never Alone,
Lucy.
Ok. Here is my book so far if y’all want to read it! (Always open to critics)
THE WAR OF THE FALLEN WORLDS.
Ravial
I shivered as a gust of wind blew over me. I tugged my shawl closer around my shoulders and bent my head low, continuing my march forward. Heat surged through my body as the cold slowly slipped away from my body.
I could tell something was near. I hopped toward the shadows of a old brick building, and pressed my back against the cold concrete.
Everything was quiet, I slowly stood but soon realized my mistake as I crouched back down.
Three creatures walked out of the shadows.
They were humans, if you could call them that. Their arms were made for climbing. Their boots were made of solid metal. This helped them to scale ropes, solid walls, anything. It also helped them to crush whatever they wished. Even me.
They were truly terrifying and cruel.
They paused, then walked past me.
I sighed in relief as they seemed to not notice me.As soon as they were gone, I scampered down the alley.
I had to hurry. Mum would be wondering where I was if I was late for dinner…again.Staying in the shadows, I used them for cover as I walked down the street and turned right, then left.
As I turned right again, a welcoming sight caused me to pick up my pace.
But my house wasn’t the only one on this street, so I crept along quietly.
As I slowed to a walk, I could smell the food, it smelled like fried rice.
I better hurry or all of it will be gone!
Pain encircled me as I glanced down at my leg. Blood streamed down from a cut I didn’t realize I had. When did that happen? I shrugged off the pain. It definitely wasn’t my first cut.I burst in the door, ran to the dinner table and started to gobble up my food.
“Someone’s hungry!” Announced Mum, laughing. She sobered as she saw my leg. “What happened?”
“Oh, don’t worry,” I said with my mouth full, “I must have scraped it on the way here.” I tried to sound convincing, but even I heard the tremble in my voice.I quickly finished then pushed my bowl forward for more.
Mum looked at me sadly. “That is all we have, darling. The Keepers took all of our food again. This is the last of the rice I had stashed in the cellar.”
“Yes, mama.” I replied.
“How did your day go?”
I could tell she was trying to lighten the mood.
“Well, I had a close run-in with three ugly Keepers. But they didn’t see me!” I added quickly as Mum gasped.
“You have got to stay away from them!”
“Sorry. I don’t like them either. But Daddy always used to say we would have to fight them. I just don’t see how we can.”
“I know.” That was all mum said.
After supper, I stretched out on my bed staring up at the ceiling. Daddy’s words came back to me. About how one day we’d have to fight the Keepers to get back our freedom. But the Keepers were cruel and merciless. How could Mum and I ever go up against them? We couldn’t go alone. We’d need help. Daddy would never expect us to fight them alone. Right? Maybe that’s why he always said “we.” As if he was referencing an entire army. Not just Mum and I and him.
But Dad was no longer here. And the Keepers grew more wicked and greedy by the day.
I clenched my fists, my fingernails cutting my skin. I glanced out my window at the moon shining brightly against the dark sky and I made myself a promise. I would put an end to the Keepers once and for all. They would be finished taking our freedom. We would take it back. We would fight for what was ours.
But I couldn’t do it alone.
I had to build an army of my own.CHAPTER ONE
I guess I should introduce myself. My real self. The part of me I’ve had to keep hidden since the day I turned four,. Except that I can’t use my left leg, that would be a little more hard to hide then powers! I am about eighteen, or so my notched bedpost says.
I come from a long line of royals. In every other generation of a royal family, someone has a special ability.
Sometimes it’s simply an amplified version of a common talent. Hearing, strength, sight, smell, drawing. Other times, it’s something more…exotic. Flying, claws, webbing, mind reading, telekinesis.
My family ended up being the second royal generation.
That made me the bearer of the special ability. For some people it’s a amazing thing they couldn’t live without, for other people (like me) it feels more like a curse then a power. I have the special abilities.
I can fly, and I can draw. And I have another special ability that no one, even my own mother, doesn’t know I have. I can read minds. Which is kinda helpful sometimes!
But that is where the Keepers come in.
The Keepers once owned a certain piece of land across the sea. No one believed the Keepers were real. They were known simply as a mythical child’s story. Nothing, but a fairytale.
But one night, on my fourth birthday. I looked out the window and saw a form of a person, I could barely make out the shape among the darkness of the shadows. I assumed it was Daddy. I ran out into the kitchen exclaiming, “Daddy’s home!” in my young childish voice.
Mum looked confused, though I didn’t know why. She walked over to the window and pulled the curtain aside. I watched as her face became deathly pale.
“They are finally here.” Her voice sounded nothing like her own.“Who, Mummy? Who is here?”
I screamed as a gunshot rang out into the stillness of the night, bouncing off the mountains and echoing through the woods. It sounded so very close. As if the shot had happened right outside our house.
Mum hadn’t answered.
Her hand was on the door leading outside, and she twisted it as if she planned to rush out. But it seemed as though she had remembered something, for she slowly took her hand off the doorknob and sank to the floor, her shoulders shaking in sobs.
Though I was too young to fully understand at the time, my father had died that night. Shot by a Keeper trying to invade our home.
I pressed my face against the cold window pane, the silhouette of my father on the ground. I caught a glimpse of the Keeper before he stalked off.That night was the beginning of the end. The end of our lives and the freedom we once knew. The Keepers control the land now.
We can no longer even step foot out our door without seeing a Keeper or
two.
That was seven years ago.
Though I remember the night as if it were yesterday. The gunshot occasionally haunting my dreams.
And the Keeper. That murderer. His face will forever be etched into my memory. Until one day I get my revenge.
And then he will be no more.•••••••••••••••••••••••
The air was cold and it crept down my spine like a cold shard of ice as I stalked toward the library. My bag, slung over my shoulder casually.
The gate was guarded by two Keepers. Was I surprised? Hardly.I drew closer to the gate and they waved me through, nodding in my direction.
I raised an eyebrow. Hmm, They normally didn’t even bother to look at me. I almost preferred that version of the Keepers. I bravely snuck a glance before I slipped past them. These Keepers were new, Obviously.I slipped through the door and into the Library. I spotted another Keeper sitting on a rickety chair. He looked my way, his beady eyes staring into my soul.
I looked straight ahead, ignoring him, quickening my pace.
I made my way to the end of the library. It was home to my favorite place. A comfy chair and writing desk.
Though that comfy chair was currently occupied, By a older boy I had never seen before. He looked to be about one year younger then me.“Can I help you?” I asked.
“Huh?” He startled, dropping his pencil. It fell to the ground with an audible clunk.
“Can I help you?” I repeated just a bit louder.
“I heard you the first time!” he growled. He turned around and coughed, his cheeks turning red. “Sorry. Um, no, I don’t think so.”
“What is your name?” I stooped down to grab his pencil.
“Lochner.”
I froze. The name sounded so very familiar. Lochner, Lochner.
All of a sudden I was in a different place, I looked around, I was in my house! In the living room, I heard a voice, i looked toward the couch, and saw my father, “ There is a boy named Lochner, you have never met him. But if you are in need of a friend, he is a faithful alley.” Daddy’s words came back to me and once again I was in reality.Was he a friend or a foe?
Daddy had said I could trust him.
I waited for him to say something else. He didn’t. I jumped at the chance to break the awkward silence.“My name is Ravial.”
Wow, I thought to myself, so profound. I was supposed to be relieving this awkward silence. Not making it more awkward.Lochner stared at me. This boy had a way of making even chatty me feel tongue tied.
When the stretching silence began to feel like an eternity, he finally broke the quiet.
“Do you need something?”
It was then I realized I was still standing here holding his pencil and looking like a huge dork.
“Yeah, you’re in my chair!”
He rolled his eyes dramatically, “You can sit down if you want to.” He sounded unsure of himself, like he was trying to convince himself while convincing me.
Lochner looked wary like a mouse trapped in a corner by a cat.
As I reached for the second chair,I hesitated. Mum always said not to talk to strangers, that anyone could turn on us if they found out our real identity.
I thought about just saying goodbye, and making a quick exit, but then I hesitated. He looked awfully lonely. He looked like he could use a friend. I know I could.
I pulled up a chair and slung my bag off my shoulder leaning it against the wood desk, deciding to take my chances.
I glanced at the desk. A stack of paper and a couple of pencils sat upon it.
I picked up a pencil and a spare sheet of paper.
I started to sketch a picture of a ship. It was storming and the crew was frightened. It was a dream I had been having lately.
On it’s mast I drew the symbol for our tribe.I didn’t realize Lockner was staring at the piece of paper until I glanced up. His face was slack and his mouth forming a large ‘O.’
“How did you do that?” Amazement was etched into his voice.
“Uh,” I hesitated, glancing at the paper, oh know, please don’t tell me I just used my power in a house full of keepers and in front of a boy who I don’t even know! I tried to come up with a reasonable excuse, but my mind was blank., “I just did.”
“What do you mean, you just did?’” No one is just born drawing that good. Did you have a teacher?”
I gulped. Boy was I in trouble now. “I just…did.” I whispered, my pulse rising.
I couldn’t tell him. I’ve never told anyone before. It wasn’t safe.
But an ache started at the base of my stomach, wrapping itself around my heart. I wanted to tell him. This boy I didn’t even know, this person I just met. Something told me he was safe. But Mum’s words came back to me. “No one is ever truly safe, my dear. No one.”
I looked at the door, and made a quick decision. I grabbed another sheet of paper from the desk and sketched a picture of a treehouse and I drew a x on the street next to it. handing it to him. It was in the middle of the town.“Meet me there tonight.”
He looked up confused as I grabbed my bag and headed to the door.
The guards Had already switched posts so now the older and harsher looking ones where back to gate duty. I walked along trying not to bring attention to my self like normal, and stopped dead. There was the Guard That had killed my father. I tried to look normal as I slipped by them, but I was sure that I looked like a ghost, seeing that all the blood had drained out of my face. I managed to get by them, and my walk turned into a sprint as I neared my street. And once again, I was safe. Or so I thought.that’s all I have written so far! I hope y’all liked it!
Never Alone.
Lucy.
@lucy Hiya, Lucy!!!!!!🙂 I’ve just read your story that you posted. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!😃 I love how the opening pulls the reader right in!!!!! I am INTRIGUED on your story now!!!!!! 😀 Lochner and Ravial are AWESOME names!!!!!! The only critique I have is that the opening for Chapter One seemed to be “telling” more instead of “showing” more. So, my suggestion is instead of telling the readers all about Ravial, you could show them about her (er, I’m assuming Ravial is a girl?). An example could be to have Ravial trace her fingers over the eighteen notches on her bedpost instead of telling the readers the notches were there. Other than that, I thought your story was FANTABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😀 I LOVE stories with royalty so I was SUPER excited when I read that Ravial was royalty!!!!!!! Also, this line was so funny: “This boy had a way of making even chatty me feel tongue tied.”😂 Awesome job, Lucy!!!!!! And keep up the great work! 🙂 🙂 🙂
"It looks like a fairy world"~Meg from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Fall in love with JesusOh my word, I am SO sorry for not responding to you! *triple facepalms* I never saw your reply in my notifications and didn’t see it until just now when I read through this topic wow, I really apologize. Like I apologize a hundred thousand times here.
But anyway, Tinker Bell sounds awesome:) Aw, that’s great that she’s going to have a foal!
Mine is named Dolly, she’s about 14-15 hands tall, but yeah, I probably won’t be able to ride her much longer because of her conformation.Aw girl, I’m so sorry to hear about Addel, that is so heartbreaking. I definitely understand how hard that is though, we had a Tennessee Walker once who turned out to be a lot older than the previous owners had told us and after a few years, she came down seriously ill. We stayed in the barn with her several nights, the vet coming out many times. We didn’t put her down because the vet said there might have been a chance, but she didn’t make it. It was heartbreaking for everyone. And yeah, I sometimes talk to her as if she could hear and write poems now and then about her.
And it sounds like you loved Addell as much anyone could ever love a horse, she was pretty lucky having you as an owner:)And that sounds awesome! We have chickens, horses, dogs, cats and a parakeet:)
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